Alex Salmond will be laid to rest in the green turf of Aberdeenshire today in a quiet and dignified private ceremony. (A public celebration of his life will take place next month.)
Most of Scotland’s press and commentariat beclowned itself shamefully after his death just as it did during his life, but below is a (regrettably short) collection of those who did otherwise and who deserve to be noted honourably beside the man himself.
Redaction is a tricky business, and comes with numerous pitfalls even if you’re being careful, which not everyone is. If you’re involved in creating a document you know will have to be redacted, there are a variety of safeguarding approaches you can adopt.
When I worked on a videogames magazine called Amiga Power in the 1990s, we ran a fun comedy feature about censorship. But because the company that published the magazine had had some unfortunate mishaps in the field, we took extra care by typing all the “offensive” words as random-length strings of Xs when we wrote the article.
And it was lucky that we did, because as you can see in the feature’s strapline, the art department misaligned the red redaction bar on some of them, and if there’d been a sweary in there it would have been easily identified.
Wherever you find giants, you also find parasites, bottom-feeders and carrion. When a mighty lion dies in the jungle, tiny creeping crawling maggots and insects and bacteria feast gleefully on its corpse for many days.
Which naturally brings us to the Scottish media.
The above paragraphs of cowardly innuendo and baseless speculative smearing were penned by Severin Carrell and Libby Brooks in the Guardian on Monday. (They’re not from the ironically-headed “Appreciation” that the same two hacks wrote for Sunday’s Observer, in which they audaciously claimed that Salmond’s success was down to Nicola Sturgeon).
They sneakily imply that Salmond was guilty not only of the sexual assaults of which he was cleared in court, but also of an unspecified number of unnamed others, and make assertions of “disturbing evidence about his personal conduct” without specifying what that evidence or conduct might have been.
Everyone even remotely connected to Scottish politics has known for months that the below is the case. It’s an open secret.
But what’s playing out right now is something much bigger than the fate of one or two or three individuals. It’s the entire future of the credibility of Scotland’s justice system.
When times are quiet in Scottish politics, as they currently are, our favourite genre of story is “mainstream press belatedly catches up with Wings Over Scotland”. And so to this morning’s front page splash in the Sunday Mail.
The rumour mill has been grinding about Operation Branchform developments again in the last few days, although we’ve seen too many false dawns now to get overly excited about that. But the Mail’s story sounded awfully familiar.
While we get on with some tinkering behind the scenes in the absence of any Scottish political news – we have an exciting new comment system and the Contact form finally works again! – readers may wish to enjoy the full marathon three-and-a-quarter hours of last month’s fun indyref anniversary event at the Glasgow Science Centre.
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Loving your use of hyphens there, Northy. You could never have equaled that writing in Scots. Plus, of course, nae…” Jun 28, 07:43
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Man, Northy, but your recent trip to Alpha Centauri hasn’t improved your mood any. Any word on what punishment is…” Jun 28, 07:38
Graham Fordyce on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “I wonder if a Complaint to the Law Society of Scotland might move matters forward: Rule B1.2: You must be…” Jun 28, 07:37
Young Lochinvar on The Promise: “HMcH So your logic is that it’s only the good ol’ UK that’s is keeping Scotland from fragmenting into parts.…” Jun 28, 06:06
Willie on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Could not concur more with your comments Achnababan. The British state insidiously controls the police, Crown Office,major quango and civil…” Jun 28, 05:43
Achnababan on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “One thing should be clear from this situation and others (Alex Salmond) is that the British State is controlling Scotland…” Jun 28, 04:14
Young Lochinvar on The Guilty Party: “Alf The projects you cite highlight slightly different issues but the same underlying problem: client driven contractual risk transfer. It…” Jun 28, 03:51
Young Lochinvar on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “C Very true. However I don’t think even Swinney went on the election campaign trail with family in tow saying…” Jun 28, 03:07
Cynicus on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Scotland’s team manager,Steve Clarke, has just resigned. It takes an honourable man to act honourably. So, don’t expect the resignation…” Jun 28, 01:07
Angus on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““But we promise you this, readers: the questions are never going to stop. And unlike the SNP, we keep our…” Jun 28, 00:14
Red on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Stuart, I don’t mean to embarrass you or be a sook but I’ve been a reader of yours since the…” Jun 27, 22:25
Confused on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “unredacted – from : Dot Bain to : Swinney cc : NEC, the gang, the girls, girlboss#1 Look John -…” Jun 27, 22:12
Bob Johnston on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Is there a precedent for a Privy Councillor being jailed for fraud? Could be the establishment isn’t too keen on…” Jun 27, 20:43
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““…some kind of martyrdom.” Now we see the deployment of the: “I’m Going to Use Three Big Words So You…” Jun 27, 19:59
Young Lochinvar on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Claire I wish to heck I could put my hand on the quotation in print but my (admittedly not always…” Jun 27, 19:52
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““…your petulant foot stamping…” Having now examined the specimen in its natural habitat (a social-media thread), we can confidently classify…” Jun 27, 19:50
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““A lot more involved” Sure. £660k wisely invested for several years might be double that now. Might be ten times…” Jun 27, 19:44
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Your good friend, perhaps. No friend of the tunnel skulking scum whose misogyny, barbarism, hatred, theft and contempt for the…” Jun 27, 19:39
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “You been criminalised yet, Northy? Seems to me you’re as free as I am to post whatsoever you like. Like…” Jun 27, 19:30
holymacmoses on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “I’m simply assuming that the Police and the Crown Prosecution Office knew they would have to prosecute someone – so…” Jun 27, 19:20
Mark Beggan on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “That’s what hells for. The post colonials are running out of text book excuses. “We’re going to need a bigger…” Jun 27, 19:18
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““…you’re pebble dashing the site with high pressure shite.” Here we encounter the “Over-Invested Bathroom-Tile Enthusiast” School of Rhetoric. Only…” Jun 27, 19:09
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Cants gubbed Panama 6-1 an a. Is there no justice under heaven?” Jun 27, 18:58
ALANM on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “There’s a simple explanation which I’ve also cited in relation to a case currently being pursued through the courts by…” Jun 27, 18:55
David Johnston on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “The problem with the two interviews is the both the DCC and COFS were talking about the embezzlement case and…” Jun 27, 18:32
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Mind to come back on here, Northy, and tell us as soon as your resistance is criminalised and you’re punished…” Jun 27, 18:28
A2 on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Where’s Colin Beattie by the way? Slipped out the back door while no-one’s looking?” Jun 27, 18:19
