I was born to be a Rangers supporter. I had no real choice in the matter. My father was a Ger, as was his father and his father’s father. I was accepted that as soon as I was old enough to be lifted over a turnstile I would attend Ibrox, faithfully.
From 1964 (aged 5) I worshipped at the shrine of Rangers for almost three decades. Fortunately for me, my father was the least bigoted man you could wish to meet. His religions were the trade unions and Rangers. Because he wasn’t bigoted our next-door neighbour and dad’s friend used to take me to Parkhead to watch Celtic too, which I found thrilling as I was convinced the “Tims” could see right through me.
This caused me a bit of confusion at school, because some of my family were “Tims”. In fact my favourite aunty was a convert to Catholicism and was as devout and decent a Catholic as you will ever meet. The conflation of football and religion was as normal as the smog-filled air we breathed. It just was what it was. You were either Proddy Ranger or Timmy Celtic. It wasn’t to be questioned.
Except my dad questioned it, loudly and often. He tried to explain the wrongs of the situation to me many times. I remember asking him why he still was a Rangers man if he disliked the whole Proddy/Tim thing that went with it.
“They’re my team, son. The morons can’t change that”, he told me.
Weirdly, right after seeing this earlier this afternoon, we sat down to watch an episode of The Professionals on ITV4, which contained what seemed a rather apt segment.
We don’t think it’s a younger Iain Martin of the Telegraph (accompanied by colleagues Alan Cochrane and Tom Gallagher), but don’t make us swear to it.
In what may be a new all-time low for the broadsheet press in Scotland, this morning’s Scottish edition of the Telegraph makes a front-page lead story out of a petition with a pathetic 4500 signatures, put together by some extremist Yoon nutters to express their rage that there might be a peak-time news show actually made in Scotland.
The idea of a so-called “Scottish Six”, whereby the main six o’clock news bulletin would be a single programme made by BBC Scotland and covering Scottish, UK and world news – rather than the current half-hour London-centric UK programme followed by 30 minutes of regional murdur’n’fitba in Reporting Scotland – has been exercising the media (and pretty much nobody else) for the best part of 20 years.
But now it’s become a constitutional battleground, and the funny thing about it is that the two sides are fighting bitterly over something neither of them actually really wants.
Last night, MP Natalie McGarry made another heavily-qualified semi-apology to the popular abusive-tweeter enthusiast JK Rowling, because that’s how bullying works. (As far as we know McGarry has still refused Rowling’s demand that she make a sizeable donation to Rowling’s charity under threat of legal action.)
One of George Orwell’s most-quoted lines is “Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed: everything else is public relations.”
We wonder who was trying to silence the torrent of drivel below, then.
Sometimes it’s the smallest, most trivial things that give you away. Graham Grant is the Home Affairs Editor of the Scottish Daily Mail, and earlier this morning he tweeted this snarky dig at prominent independence supporter and pundit Pat Kane, also of the primarily-1980s band Hue And Cry:
Ostensibly it’s a throwaway gag aimed at puncturing an opponent’s pomposity and over-inflated self-regard while portraying the journalist as an arch, wise cynic.
We listened to an interesting chat on Good Morning Scotland earlier today (it’s right at the start, just after the news) featuring Gerry Hassan and the sharp New Statesman reporter Stephen Bush, which briefly discussed a curious political phenomenon of the 2000s where people said they liked certain policies until they were told they were Tory policies, at which point their opinions changed.
It put us rather in mind of a classic 2000AD comic strip called The Ballad Of Halo Jones, and in particular a short episode from it about a character called The Glyph, which seemed to us to sum up the current dilemma facing the Labour Party on both sides of the border – but especially in Scotland, as was rather strikingly illustrated by a revealing interview with Kezia Dugdale on Friday.
So we thought we’d share it with you, because sometimes pictures say a thousand words. Especially if there are several of them and they also have words on them.
The Herald columnist Iain Macwhirter has had some wise words to say on the subject of social media in the past few weeks, most recently on New Year’s Day:
The month before, though, he’d been even more to the point.
A strange phenomenon we’ve remarked upon a few times since the independence referendum is the inexplicable undying rage of a certain subset of Unionist voters.
Having won the vote, a casual observer might expect them to be happy, but instead they appear to exist in a constant state of fury.
(Our own best guess is that they were expecting to triumph by a crushing margin of two or three to one – some fretted that it might only be a 20-point victory – and then suffered the double blow of a much closer result that kept the Yes movement very much alive coupled with a massive surge in SNP membership and support.)
A demented anti-SNP tactical-voting campaign for this year’s general election – led by, among others, a frothing ultra-Loyalist-nutter-type by the name of Andrew Skinner – recorded one of the most spectacular failures in history as the Nats captured 56 out of 59 Scottish seats, only narrowly missing the other three, and the party’s poll ratings have continued to rise since then.
So this week, Mr Skinner decided to try for a more manageable target.
DaveL on The Modern Politician: “‘Captain Swinney is believed to have gone down with his ship.’ If only but I’m afraid he fucked off quick…” Feb 15, 03:14
Colin Alexander on The Modern Politician: “The SNP and Scottish Greens will be delighted that Ebay are procuring donations for the Mermaids charity. Are Mermaids brainwashing,…” Feb 14, 23:42
Dan on The Modern Politician: “Big Country – Steeltown Vid contains footage of dirty men doing hard dirty work so not safe for some. www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ssx1Davnkw” Feb 14, 22:50
Dan on The Modern Politician: ““No, I don’t think coal mining was ever anything but dire Says it all. Perma “worried” woman rather than celebrate…” Feb 14, 22:38
Geoff Anderson on The Modern Politician: “I didn’t know he was a Spurs fan……. https://x.com/ScotExpress/status/2022733679576113365?s=20” Feb 14, 22:08
Lorna Campbell on The Modern Politician: “William Campbell: yes, I absolutely agree with you, but it was not the norm until Thatcher introduced council house ownership.…” Feb 14, 21:49
Young Lochinvar on The Modern Politician: “Well I’d like to imagine this anniversary may just, just mibbes, mighta have helped put some fire in the belly…” Feb 14, 21:46
Lorna Campbell on The Modern Politician: “Often you simply cannot turn back the clock. No, I don’t think coal mining was ever anything but dire, but…” Feb 14, 21:20
Alf Baird on The Modern Politician: “Plenty of wee coasters and fishing boats even smaller than the new £50 million Isle of Islay sailing oot there…” Feb 14, 21:09
David Holden on The Modern Politician: “There is a lot to unpack in your latest offering but just a wee tip for you. Try shutting the…” Feb 14, 19:46
Hatey McHateface on The Modern Politician: “Quite right, Confused. You forever see the English as arse bandits and look where that’s got you.” Feb 14, 19:38
Confused on The Modern Politician: “flower of scotland is also RACIST and this is “zero tolerance” in a modern nation – what r u thinking…” Feb 14, 19:35
Confused on The Modern Politician: “rugby : after the postal tries have been counted by roof davison the too wee too puir inferior not quite…” Feb 14, 19:18
Cynicus on The Modern Politician: “14 February, 2026 at 6:33 pm David Holden says: “Which miserable killjoy is going to be first to come on…” Feb 14, 19:11
TURABDIN on The Modern Politician: “We regret to announce the sinking of the MV Isle of Islay in stormy seas off the straits of Gibraltar.…” Feb 14, 18:34
David Holden on The Modern Politician: “Which miserable killjoy is going to be first to come on and moan about the rugby? Congratulations to the Scotland…” Feb 14, 18:33
auld highlander on The Modern Politician: “Storms out in the Atlandic caused the delay with Portugal and Spain getting hammered. Earlier this afternoon I had a…” Feb 14, 18:02
william campbell on The Modern Politician: “Born in 1948,brought up mainly in East Kilbride,which was fresh and new then in 1957,my catching TB was the reason…” Feb 14, 17:48
Aidan on The Modern Politician: “C-24 will not be assessing Scotland’s petition in June. C-24 has no power to add further territories to the list…” Feb 14, 17:35
Willie on The Modern Politician: “I think agent X that you may have stumbled on an issue with regard to the MV Isle of Islay.…” Feb 14, 17:26
Andy Ellis on The Modern Politician: “@ Hatey Having just come back from visiting the Stone of Destiny in Perth and taking in Marie R’s last…” Feb 14, 16:44
Hatey McHateface on The Modern Politician: “Good post, Andy. The shades of the signatories to the D of A will also be furious that we lack…” Feb 14, 16:30
Hatey McHateface on The Modern Politician: “Thanks for your reply, Lorna. Just about every politician gets something right. Starmer, Trump, Sturgeon, Brown, Blair. They won some…” Feb 14, 16:22
Hatey McHateface on The Modern Politician: “Cynicus Please show some respect when addressing a lady carrying the name of the Holy Mother Of God.” Feb 14, 16:02
Hatey McHateface on The Modern Politician: “You don’t think … Naw. Nae way could painted oan windies been carried forwards from ane set of blueprints tae…” Feb 14, 15:58
Andy Ellis on The Modern Politician: “@Xaracen You’re not paying attention. Par for the course amongst the moonhowlers in here of course: the red mist of…” Feb 14, 15:57
Hatey McHateface on The Modern Politician: “Absolutely loving it, sam. The genocidal cants who unleashed their man made flu on the world, killing tens of millions,…” Feb 14, 15:54