In many ways, the fabricated, hysterical furore of Humza Yousaf Vs Elon Musk is the ultimate in summer-silly-season politics stories.
Absurdly plainly, the former First Minister ISN’T going to take any legal action against the billionaire owner of Twitter. He only likes bullying small nurseries, and even then he doesn’t follow through. He didn’t even sue us for calling him racist a few months ago, so there’s zero chance he’s going to square up to the world’s richest man.
Every now and again you’ll go to clean them up and find something that you’ve been meaning to write about in a quiet moment, and this certainly counts as a quiet moment in Scottish politics, so let’s do this one now.
Because the story above is from March, but we don’t think we’ve ever seen anyone anywhere talk about just how weird it is, or what it tells us about the 2024 SNP.
As we’ve repeatedly pointed out, Wings has made NO comments about the “workplace harassment” allegations made against Alex Salmond several years ago. We’ve only commented on the CRIMINAL allegations, and workplace harassment isn’t a crime. (It’s a matter for an employment tribunal, not the police.)
But the real question is WHY Andy Wightman is so doggedly attached to these two complainers that he’s determined to keep digging himself further into a hole of lies. And everyone knows what you tend to find when you start digging holes.
David Davis may be the last of his kind – a libertarian Tory from a council-scheme and grammar-school background, and also one of the few remaining big beasts occupying the political jungle of the back benches.
(He could in fact have been Tory leader, and would have been if David Cameron and George Osborne hadn’t teamed up to defeat him in 2005 after he won the first ballot.)
So on the rare occasions when he leads a Commons adjournment debate, as he did last Thursday evening, those with an educated eye for politics sit up and take notice.
In any functional nation, Friday’s revelations in Parliament by Sir David Davis would have been headline news. An extremely powerful figure, the then-First Minister’s chief of staff, was named and accused of conspiring with the Scottish Government, civil service and media to imprison an innocent man – the former leader of the country – on very serious charges of sexual assault, and of seeking to destroy his reputation by illegally leaking the false allegations to the press.
Liz Lloyd had never been publicly named as the suspect before that moment, so it was almost immeasurably bizarre that only two of Scotland’s newspapers (and two of its lowest-selling), namely The Times and – belatedly – The National, bothered to even report the accusation, far less spend any time seriously delving into it.
But it still wasn’t as odd as THIS response from a former Green MSP.
What on Earth is being suggested here? Let’s try to find out.
Independence is dead as a political issue in Scotland for the next few years. This much should not be in any dispute. A Labour government with a crushing majority sits firmly in Westminster with absolutely no intentions of granting a second referendum, and the SNP has loudly and clearly abandoned any other strategy.
This fact is understandably painful and difficult to come to terms with for anyone who’s devoted the last 13 years (or more) to pursuing that cause and now isn’t quite sure what to do with theirself. But for those who still aren’t ready to face up to the unpleasant reality, there’s always the comforting world of fantasy.
Because there’s always money to be made from snake oil and pie in the sky.
The average rape sentence in Scotland is seven years, so to get six years plus three years’ supervision for the technically lesser crime of sexual assaults means they must have been pretty grim ones.
So we know that Cameron Downing is a very bad man. Which does rather invite the question of why he was so popular in the SNP.
The SNP have been pretty clear about the reason they think they got a battering in last week’s election: it was because people were voting to kick out the Tories.
Now, that’s obviously nonsense. There were almost no Tories in Scotland to start with – just 10% of voters had a Tory MP – and only one of the six actually lost his seat. (Which was entirely down to the ham-fisted interference of Douglas Ross rather than an SNP surge – the SNP’s vote share in the seat in question went DOWN.)
If you wanted to keep Tories out in Scotland all you had to do was keep voting for your current MP, most of whom were SNP, rather than risk splitting the anti-Tory vote by switching to Labour and risk letting the Tories squeeze through in the middle. (Which would have happened in many seats had the Tories’ own vote not collapsed.)
But if it was true that the SNP lost because the electorate thought the election was about getting rid of the Tories, whose fault was that?
To be honest, folks, we’re not quite sure what to do with ourselves at the moment.
Everyone and his wee dug is writing election-aftermath columns and offering the SNP advice of varying intelligence and solemnity about how to recover from the shattering blow they’ve just been dealt by Scottish voters.
But it’s a pointless exercise. They may as well be yelling down a manhole.
Cynicus on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Herbie goes a-courtin’ https://archive.is/479cV” Aug 6, 12:18
Alf Baird on Anatomy Of A Grift: ““Every now and again we read of something going on in Scotland that makes patriotic Scots resolved to say “We’re…” Aug 6, 11:53
Southernbystander on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Fine line though isn’t there between incitement to murder and apathy to it possibly happening? I assume you would agree…” Aug 6, 11:17
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “So what’s the name for the clump of grass and soil gouged out before the ball is hit? Is it…” Aug 6, 09:22
Kate L on Anatomy Of A Grift: “There’s an out of fashion female coded word I’d be happy to bring back for this cohort to help alleviate…” Aug 6, 09:19
Chas on Anatomy Of A Grift: “I ALWAYS replace my divots. For those who are unsure, in golf, a divot is the clump of grass and…” Aug 6, 08:54
Andrew scott on Anatomy Of A Grift: “These 3 will be demanding Queer milk next” Aug 6, 08:41
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Where were you yesterday then? You could have piled in to say that expressing apathy about hotels being burned down…” Aug 6, 08:26
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Yay! An entire new income stream for the lawyers. A guarantee of continued employment for those grifters whose jobs rely…” Aug 6, 08:20
twathater on Anatomy Of A Grift: “At least the weirdo won’t have to worry about Polis Scotchland or COPFS ( Crown Office Procurator Fiscal Service )…” Aug 6, 02:52
Red on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Absolutely unrelated film title ideas: Three Men and No Boaby The Three Shamigos A Fistful of Dilators Spite Club The…” Aug 6, 01:02
dearieme on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Saying rude things about the murdered Miss Widdecombe is rank bad manners but I’m damned if I see why it…” Aug 6, 00:13
Scotspine on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Sorry Stu, I cant be cunted even reading about these weirdos. The time I have available in this world is…” Aug 6, 00:01
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Anatomy Of A Grift: “NO MORE EXCUSES AS EHRC SINGLE-SEX GUIDANCE COMES INTO FORCE Government statutory guidance protecting single-sex spaces has now come into…” Aug 5, 23:48
Ex President Xiden on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Sturgeon should join the greens and do something honest for once in her life.” Aug 5, 23:28
Lee Floyd on The Plague: “After Lawrence, the pendulum of prejudiced malice carried out by police officers has swung the other way; what is it…” Aug 5, 21:50
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “On the subject of grifts, think twice before signing up for boxing lessons with one of the perhaps 5 new…” Aug 5, 20:52
Southernbystander on Anatomy Of A Grift: “These polycules sound great! How do you apply for a permit? Anyone in?” Aug 5, 20:51
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Every now and again we read of something going on in Scotland that makes patriotic Scots resolved to say “We’re…” Aug 5, 20:04
Nae Need! on Anatomy Of A Grift: “It will get worse – Poppybear has an axe to grind.” Aug 5, 19:54
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “So you’ve been on the receiving end of Alf’s aggressive oppression then, Northy. What was it destroyed yer hoose? A…” Aug 5, 19:42
Nae Need! on The Plague: “Speechless. Raging. Take care of your good self.” Aug 5, 19:38
BLMac on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Maybe if you promise not to put holes where no holes existed before….” Aug 5, 18:51
Bilbo on Anatomy Of A Grift: “I know this is clickbait but it’s not that unbelievable Sturgeon would join the Greens, or as they should be…” Aug 5, 18:43
James on The Plague: “That all you got, ju ju man? Thought so.” Aug 5, 18:25
Hugh Wallace on The Plague: “As a former cop, I echo your WTF? FFS! And I just joined the FSU after months of procrastinating. I…” Aug 5, 18:07
Captain Caveman on The Plague: “😀 Just another thick-as-whale-omelette reality denier, eh Fatso. Well, try as anyone might, you can’t educate pork (literally in your…” Aug 5, 17:45