In a cunning meta-twist which simultaneously proves and disproves its own claim, the headline above is itself a lie. It’s of course not true that every single headline you read in a newspaper is absolutely false.
We’re not saying there isn’t a lot going on at the moment, but today’s Daily Record actually devotes a page to telling women when to change their pants.
Below is a 17-minute section of this afternoon’s John Beattie show on BBC Radio Scotland, featuring me and an amateur blogger with a keen interest in Pedigree Chum discussing the effect of the lower oil price on the Scottish economy.
So that’s genuine progress – next time some frothing Yoon screams “OIL PRICE! BLACK HOLE! SNP LIES! TOO WEE, TOO POOR!” at you, you can direct them here for categorical agreement from the Yes and No sides alike that actually the falling oil price makes an independent Scotland MORE economically viable, not less.
Unfortunately you’ll have to put up with a condescending, patronising arse sniggering randomly throughout, but it’s a relatively small price to pay.
Normally when the BBC’s Andrew Neil asks a politician to put a figure on one of their policy proposals the interviewee should be wary, because a trap is about to be sprung.
Governments, of all political stripes and nations, are often accused of being control freaks bent on constructing and enforcing a “nanny state”, where citizens’ freedoms are arbitrarily curtailed under a pretence of it all being for their own good.
The phrase most repeated by angry Unionists in the 16-and-a-bit months since the independence referendum is surely “once in a generation”. While the SNP quietly gets on with the business of government, having not mentioned a second referendum in its 2015 manifesto and not being expected to do so in this year’s either, the parties of the UK can’t seem to shut up about it.
(This is happening despite Ruth Davidson having said just nine months ago that her party wouldn’t block a second indyref, while Ed Miliband said that Labour would. However, Davidson’s organ-grinder, David Cameron, joined Labour in ruling it out just a few months later, which may explain Davidson performing a sudden U-turn akin to her famous one over more devolution.)
And when you boil it down to the brass tacks, what that means is that the parties of the Union want to hold the Scottish people prisoner.
The groupthink of the Unionist commentariat is unfailingly a sight to behold. Barely a dozen weeks ago we drew attention to a seasonal crop of articles professing that the end of the SNP’s eight-year “honeymoon” was in sight, and that surely voters would surely tire at any moment of their supposed poor record in government.
But after the damage anticipated by the press from the Forth Bridge affair and another load of ham-fisted Labour attacks failed to materialise (defused in part by a set of excellent and significantly improved NHS waiting-time stats that must have had the BBC’s Eleanor Bradford weeping inconsolably into her clipboard), the pundit hive-mind has moved swiftly on to a new outlook: morose resignation.
The Labour Party has today published Margaret Beckett’s report into why it lost the 2015 general election. We were rather struck by this line:
Let’s just go over that one again to be sure: Labour believed that an SNP victory in Scotland would make it “impossible” for the Tories to form the government.
Which is weird, because that’s not quite what we remember them saying.
During the independence referendum campaign, we catalogued numerous breaches of the law for which the “Better Together” campaign was let off with a slap on the wrist, from data protection to running unlicensed lotteries. Today several papers report that the official No campaign has been fined £2000 by the Electoral Commission for failing to document £57,000 of its expenditure during the campaign.
Alert readers will no doubt recall the explosion of glee from Unionists in the press and on social media last October when this site was fined £750 for being late with some of its own documentation, and we assumed that much the same thing had happened with BT, but on closer examination the story appears to be rather different.
Rather than simply missing the deadline for providing receipts or invoices for specific items of spending, “Better Together” appears, going by the report in the Herald, to not have accounted for the money at all.
Thanks to the Scottish Daily Mail, we’ve just spotted a piece by the Conservative MP Bernard Jenkin for City AM a few days ago. We had an inordinate amount of trouble getting the full article to display past the site’s incredibly over-zealous advert enforcer, so we’ve preserved it for posterity here.
There’s a gem in every paragraph. You’re going to like this one.
Northcode on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Scotland is England’s prisoner. In the year of our Lord, 1642, a chap called Richard Lovelace quilled oot these words…” Apr 24, 12:31
lothianlad on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Stick with it Stu!! We need you! Thank you for all you do for whats right.” Apr 24, 12:22
John H. on The Pit Of Vipers: “But he was eliminated in the end. It just took a while.” Apr 24, 11:47
Alf Baird on The Pit Of Vipers: “@ TARABDIN “what then the fate of peoples without sovereignty?” Indeed, the people and nation will ultimately ‘perish’ unless they…” Apr 24, 10:13
Minceheid on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Hatey McHateface says: 23 April, 2026 at 7:15 pm Hmmm. Bananas don’t have cores. Plenty of people enjoy bananas so…” Apr 24, 09:55
TURABDIN on The Pit Of Vipers: “@ Alf Baird »COLONIALISM is always a co-operative venture» (Fanon). A truism, how did the Brits & French etc hold…” Apr 24, 09:51
Alf Baird on The Pit Of Vipers: ““our wee, pretendy parliament” Twas aye a fair description of a colonial administration, Hatey, also know as ‘indirect rule’ in…” Apr 24, 08:44
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Lorncal @ 23 April, 11.07 writes: « John Money was not “tragically misguided”, Fearghas. He was a PDfile » —————…” Apr 24, 00:23
Lorncal on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Confused: that pilot would have been female with XX chromosomes – therefore, intersex or DSD. DSD people are still either…” Apr 23, 23:22
Lorncal on How To Get Away With Crimes: “John Money was not “tragically misguided”, Fearghas. He was a PDfile and made those two boys (the twin brothers, both…” Apr 23, 23:07
Hatey McHateface on The Pit Of Vipers: “I swore a solemn oath to respond to you only once in any 24-hour period. But I don’t mind breaking…” Apr 23, 23:02
Hatey McHateface on The Pit Of Vipers: ““stop the Dog Whistle politics” What other politics would most of them have left if they stopped that? “we have…” Apr 23, 22:52
Hatey McHateface on The Pit Of Vipers: “Cheers, YL. It’s good to be back. Thought I’d drop in to see how close we are to Indy. Damned…” Apr 23, 22:43
Confused on How To Get Away With Crimes: “this is all a deep rabbit hole one thing we distinguished in the past was – transvestite – someone who…” Apr 23, 22:35
George Ferguson on The Pit Of Vipers: “A pit of vipers is the strapline for this article. I just watched Question Time from Aberdeen, so an appropriate…” Apr 23, 22:33
Confused on How To Get Away With Crimes: “psychopathy runs at 100% incidence in rabbis, imams, spooks, freemasons and city/wallst bankers.” Apr 23, 22:32
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “HMcH Please re-post once you’ve sobered up and can make your point with clarity. Thanks in advance.” Apr 23, 22:29
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “HMcH Welcome back! Shouldn’t you “be sorting out” a failed business you neglected by spending 24/7 on here, or, did…” Apr 23, 21:52
Hatey McHateface on The Pit Of Vipers: “Big election in 2 weeks, Dan. You should be serious, mature, and focused on getting the voters out for your…” Apr 23, 21:28
Dan on How To Get Away With Crimes: “A new fiscal year just starts and GERS takes an early hit, whilst Scotland dodges a bullet by having the…” Apr 23, 21:27
Hatey McHateface on The Pit Of Vipers: ““if true Scots in here want to indulge in some easy sport by destroying unionist ‘arguments’” True Scots enjoy the…” Apr 23, 20:41
Aidan on The Pit Of Vipers: “What exactly has that got to do with me?” Apr 23, 20:36
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “AI Dun I see the latest polls (for what they are worth) have the Scotchland Conservative (and) Unionist (Members) in…” Apr 23, 20:11
SilentMajority on How to tell when Kezia Dugdale is lying: “I guess it continues then….starting a new job, with new ‘friends’….then alienates herself on Day One by voicing ‘respect’ of…” Apr 23, 19:45
Sheepshagger on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Self-pitying men can be like unexploded devices – when it dawns on him that nobody will ever rise to his…” Apr 23, 19:37
Hatey McHateface on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Or just vote for somebody who promises to “drain the swamp”. Boot out the ECHR. Take a chainsaw to the…” Apr 23, 19:20
Hatey McHateface on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Hmmm. Bananas don’t have cores. Plenty of people enjoy bananas so ripe they look half-rotten. But to be serious for…” Apr 23, 19:15
Hatey McHateface on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Fair play to you 100% Yes, but two weeks out, I doubt any of the usual suspects are even remotely…” Apr 23, 19:05