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The Jokers 144

Posted on June 06, 2025 by

In the end, the people of Hamilton, Larkhall and Stonehouse made fools of us all.

Because nobody, but nobody, saw that result coming.

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Ball Of Confusion 18

Posted on June 05, 2025 by

We must admit, we don’t quite get what the Daily Record is trying to achieve.

Having already told its dwindling band of readers that voting for both the SNP and Labour is the only way to stop Reform in today’s Hamilton by-election, for the last two days it’s deployed some random loony in a hard hat and the vegan former Rangers captain Graeme Souness to the same ostensible end.

Souness, famously a supporter of Margaret Thatcher and the Conservatives, tells Record readers today that they must vote Labour in order to prevent Thatcher’s right-wing heirs from winning the seat – even though Labour are dead, plucked, stuffed and cooked geese in the eyes of the bookmakers and voting for them only increases the chances of both Reform AND the SNP.

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Why genocide is brilliant 84

Posted on June 04, 2025 by

Wait, not genocide. Biscuits. We’re thinking of biscuits. Sorry about that.

As you were, everyone. Mmm, biscuits.

And No Great Mischief Should They Fall 131

Posted on June 03, 2025 by

A few weeks ago we had a thought. And it seemed quite an interesting thought, so we decided to commission a poll on it from our old pals at Norstat.

63-37? Well, there’s your clear and overwhelming support.

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Here And There 12

Posted on June 02, 2025 by

This is what Labour say in Scotland:

And this is what they say elsewhere, when they think nobody in Scotland is looking:

One day someone’s going to tell them about the internet, and our life’s going to get a lot more difficult. Until that day, though, let’s just enjoy the laughs.

A Butterfly On Absinthe 116

Posted on June 02, 2025 by

If you’ve been reading Scottish social media or the Scottish press for the last year and a half or so, the following graph is going to come as a bit of a shock to you.

But there it is all the same.

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The Flip 77

Posted on June 01, 2025 by

We’ve just taken delivery of some REALLY interesting polling results, readers, but it’s going to take a while to fully analyse and write them up, so in the meantime let’s look at some slightly less interesting ones which came from the same poll – the Norstat one commissioned by the Sunday Times and published today, which we hitched a lift on.

The headline figures show an eight-point Yes lead, which is nice, although it’s also entirely abstract since the SNP has no current policy for translating independence support into actual independence (or even another referendum about it).

All the same, it seemed a good time to assess the wider picture.

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The Outsiders 67

Posted on May 31, 2025 by

If you’re a fan of lazy, superficial political analysis from the mentally unwell, you might have read this week about John Swinney’s great strategic triumph of having “coaxed” an “endorsement” out of the Daily Record for Thursday’s by-election in Hamilton.

And if so, you might be forgiven for thinking that that analysis looks pretty stupid now.

(Holiday Boy is still jetting his way around the globe, and indeed will be for the next few weeks, so in the absence of cartoons what else can we do but look at comics?)

But what, if anything, do those front pages tell us?

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The Blackout 87

Posted on May 30, 2025 by

Alert readers will be familiar with this site’s ongoing quest for an explanation as to why controversy-plagued charity LGBT Youth Scotland continues to operate in dozens of Scottish primary and even nursery schools, pushing gender ideology onto children as young as four despite only having a remit to support 13-25-year-olds.

Last month we were, to coin a phrase, stonewalled by Scotland’s charity regulator, the OSCR, but we filed a review request and today we received – a couple of weeks past the deadline – a response.

Below is a quick video of it.

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What Anas Actually Said 96

Posted on May 29, 2025 by

The entire Scottish media and professional-politician community is currently in a self-righteous froth about a campaign ad being run by Reform for the Hamilton by-election targeting Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar.

Obviously none of the acres of press coverage trusts voters to see the ad and decide for themselves, because that simply isn’t how journalism works nowadays. You’re told that a bad thing happened – whether it be a campaign ad, a comedian’s joke or the supposed terrible abuse sent to a celebrity – and how outraged various pundits or other celebrities are about it, with the clear implication that you should feel the same, but you almost never get shown or told what was actually said.

So to start with, as a basic journalistic principle, here’s the ad itself in its entirety.

Now let’s look at what you’re being ordered to think about it.

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Tell Them You’re Frightened 53

Posted on May 29, 2025 by

Whoever advised John Swinney to do this should be tarred, feathered and fired.

Because incredibly, the sheer abject patheticness of it isn’t even the biggest problem.

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The shifting sands of memory 377

Posted on May 21, 2025 by

We were a bit bemused by this yesterday.

The Scottish Tory MSP reacted furiously to a story in The National which said Scotland had been absorbed into England by the 1707 Act Of Union, rather than becoming a “partner” in anything, and had ceased to exist as a state in international law.

Which was a weird response, because that’s been the official stated position of both the UK government and the Conservative Party for at least the last 12 years.

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    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: ““Something inspired me” Ah, c’moan noo NC. It’s mean of you to deny Buckfast an honourable mention.Jul 9, 00:57
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “Awa and not shite, Andrew R. Shout from the rooftops that you, and by extension Indy, support the kinds of…Jul 9, 00:52
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “Nae eulogies fer Starovoit yet? How insensitive of me. The usual suspects will need time to process their grief.Jul 9, 00:46
    • AndrewR on Too Tight To Mention: “More – if she committed any real crime she should have been prosecuted in an English court. It’s pure racism…Jul 9, 00:00
    • AndrewR on Too Tight To Mention: “The treatment of Shemima Begum was outrageous and broke all international law. She was 15, a minor when she left,…Jul 8, 23:37
    • Northcode on Too Tight To Mention: “Something inspired me to write a wee poem. A hiv nae idea whit. Back door, front door, throu an open…Jul 8, 23:07
    • MaryB on Too Tight To Mention: “Re Craig Murray at the UN C24: If nothing else, it’s important for the rest of the world to know…Jul 8, 22:58
    • Aidan on Too Tight To Mention: ““Appear to have issued a D notice” ???? You really are off the reservation today aren’t you. Do you think…Jul 8, 22:10
    • James on Too Tight To Mention: ““This whole thing is going to be an absolute gift to the unionists” Says the unionist….Jul 8, 22:05
    • Northcode on Too Tight To Mention: “Craig says this… again just for good measure: “Be very very happy at the extent of international support for Scottish…Jul 8, 22:05
    • Alf Baird on Too Tight To Mention: ““This whole thing is going to be an absolute gift to the unionists” Actually our colonial rulers understandably don’t want…Jul 8, 21:49
    • Aidan on Too Tight To Mention: “Right, because whilst Scotland’s capital is more productive than Norway’s or Singapore, Scotland also has pockets of severe deprivation left…Jul 8, 21:39
    • Stuart on Too Tight To Mention: “Well Northcode that’s 52 minutes of my life I’m not going to get back… The upshot of it being no…Jul 8, 21:06
    • Chas on Too Tight To Mention: “Great stuff. At least I am not a twat.Jul 8, 20:52
    • Chas on Too Tight To Mention: “If Stu has any sense he won’t respond to your drivel. I suspect he has more sense than you. In…Jul 8, 20:47
    • Alf Baird on Too Tight To Mention: ““does Edinburgh not have one of the highest rates of GDP per capita anywhere in the world, higher than Tokyo…Jul 8, 20:41
    • Aidan on Too Tight To Mention: “@Xaracen – no, its thrown it out. Secondly, again you miss the point. The UN recognises the U.K. as a…Jul 8, 20:13
    • Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: “Easy Penisbreath. Stick your finger on the Atlantic side of the Panama Canal and you’re 9/10ths there.Jul 8, 19:52
    • Northcode on Too Tight To Mention: “On Craig Murray’s return from his ambassadorial mission to the United Nations in New York where he presented the case…Jul 8, 19:32
    • Xaracen on Too Tight To Mention: ““Right” Thank you, so, the C-24 hasn’t actually thrown out the Salvo Petition, it’s just shelved it until it becomes…Jul 8, 19:29
    • twathater on Too Tight To Mention: “Stuart you CLAIM to be an independence supporter yet you EAGERLY join with the yoonionists to try to demean and…Jul 8, 18:29
    • twathater on Too Tight To Mention: “YL try not to take much notice of Chas his comments usually consist of his sexual fixation with Prof Baird,…Jul 8, 18:14
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: ““has ever presented anything positive” Ah, c’moan noo Alf. Why not ask one of the many perennial gurners about oor…Jul 8, 17:58
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “Your post above is a masterpiece, Chas. Or should that be “masturb piece”? 🙂 As for the TWAT, he’s fearfully…Jul 8, 17:48
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “Sure, x, but it’s kinda lost its ability to hit home. Put it another way. Nae steaming schemie at an…Jul 8, 17:42
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “I don’t understand hardly a word of Gaelic, Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh, but I always enjoy your contributions (in as far as…Jul 8, 17:32
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “Something else you’ve said before, NC, is that your ancestral language is Brittonic (apologies if I spelled that incorrectly). It’s…Jul 8, 17:18
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: ““much bigger, fluffy and a white rear” A white sizzler bee. There’s more and more of them every year, surging…Jul 8, 17:08
    • Hatey McHateface on Too Tight To Mention: “I will happily admit to being unable to point out the location of “Darien” on a large scale map of…Jul 8, 17:04
    • Aidan on Too Tight To Mention: “As per usual Dan, your post doesn’t make any overarching discernible point or appear to raise any argument relevant to…Jul 8, 16:59
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