There’s a very strange article on the front page of the Herald website this morning. It’s an interview with Nigel Farage in which the UKIP leader insists that his party, not the SNP, will hold the balance of power in the UK parliament after May’s election.
It’s a bold assertion given that current projections put the SNP on anywhere from 30 to 56 seats with UKIP expected to struggle to get 5 to 10. But Farage’s rationale for the statement is an interesting one.
The abusive Facebook comments recently directed at Labour MP Margaret Curran and highlighted in a piece on the STV website today make us sigh. Not only are they horrible but they’re counter-productive, in every sense of the term – they’re not going to change Curran’s mind about anything by yelling at her, and they feed a narrative about “vile cybernats” that the media is all too eager to gleefully perpetuate.
So let’s make something clear from the off: shut up, idiots. You’re not helping.
Because a good satirist can sometimes make a point better in seven sentences than idiots like us can in a 1000-word article, and make it funny at the same time.
The very few readers who don’t immediately just snort and turn the page when they see the words “George Foulkes” may have noticed in yesterday’s Herald that the thirsty peer could be found gloating gleefully that had Scotland voted for independence last September it would now be “bankrupt” due to the decline in oil prices.
We can’t be bothered pointing out for the 500th time that a Yes vote wouldn’t have seen Scotland actually independent until March 2016, and that the oil price NOW is therefore about as relevant to anything as, well, Baron Foulkes himself.
But we couldn’t help noticing a couple of small arithmetical details.
There really isn’t very much of a news story in this morning’s Sun “exclusive” that some Labour MPs say they’d quit the party rather than work with the SNP should the electorate deliver such a result in May. One told the paper:
Those of us who remember the parade of furious Scottish Labour figures going on TV and openly threatening to scupper any “rainbow coalition” involving the Nats in 2010, thereby ensuring that David Cameron and George Osborne came to power, won’t be the least bit surprised at the sheer depth of hatred and jealous rage that consumes Labour’s branch office in North Britain when the SNP are mentioned.
And there’s nothing eyebrow-raisingly new in Scottish Labour’s spiteful determination that if Scots vote against the Conservatives – but not for Labour – they should be punished with Tory governments. It’s the standard policy of electoral blackmail that the party has deployed against the rise of rivals from the left for years, and which it’s now also turning against the Greens south of the border.
But there is a telling phrase in that short quote.
Independent website Political Compass has just released its 2015 graph charting the ideological positions of all the political parties of the UK. It’s a fairly predictable one.
On the image above, we’ve added, for parties active in Scotland only, striped circles indicating each party’s 2010 position. But what does it tell us about 2015?
It’s somehow fitting that the lead article on Labour Hame today is headed by a lie before it even starts – an offer to join the party for £1 that takes you to a page where it actually costs five times as much.
(We’d noticed days ago that the much-hyped £1 offer had been quietly dumped after just a month, but it appears that nobody in the Scottish branch office thought to keep poor hapless Labour Hame in the loop.)
The article below, though, is remarkably even more dishonest.
A number of readers last night sent us copies of the response to complaints they’d made to the Independent Press Standards Organisation about the Daily Record’s infamous “The Vow” front cover. We attach the full judgement at the bottom of this article, and as far as we’re concerned it’s fair and accurate. The Vow was a deliberate deception, but it didn’t break any rules – it merely relied on readers misinterpreting it.
The bit we’re still interested in is the paragraph above.
It gets clearer with every passing day that Scottish Labour’s chief election strategy is to assume that Scottish voters are goldfish. There’s no other explanation for a piece in yesterday’s Courier on the SNP’s Jamie Hepburn’s call for the implementation of a 2009 report into which sporting events should be protected from pay-TV broadcasters.
The article concluded with some comments from Labour.
Morgatron on Still Time To Save Her: “You gotta wonder what deal has been struck here with patsy Murrell tucked up enjoying his majesty’s pleasure and she’s…” Oct 9, 16:02
Andrew F on Still Time To Save Her: “The problem with your complaint is: …no new significant information not previously available and considered… So, your information: a. isn’t…” Oct 9, 15:30
100%Yes on Still Time To Save Her: “Sturgeon won power by convincing us all she was a nationalist. I applaud her for being a formidable involtrator. John…” Oct 9, 15:29
Alastair on Still Time To Save Her: “As Frank Carson would say. That’s a Cracker” Oct 9, 15:29
100%Yes on Still Time To Save Her: “So basically what ever you bring to the police attention wither its past or present, its been investigated. Even if…” Oct 9, 15:24
Sean Duffy on Still Time To Save Her: “Your acute analytical mind will already have noticed that the letter is unsigned and doesn’t even bear any reference number…” Oct 9, 15:11
Hatey McHateface on Still Time To Save Her: “It’s OFFICIAL too. Says it at the top. In red caps. So now we all know.” Oct 9, 15:02
blackhack on Still Time To Save Her: “Just hold on there Stu, I’ll get you some paracetamol for that headache you have after banging your head on…” Oct 9, 14:46
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: ““through the contribution our people make to the nations they migrate to; through the bonds they forge with the peoples…” Oct 9, 14:13
sam on There May Be Justice: “sarah, The former Irish President, Michael Higgins said, “Our diaspora is one of Ireland’s greatest resources: through the contribution our…” Oct 9, 11:43
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “Now that Davey Paulden’s been put back in his box, the odds of an early WM GE have shortened. Plenty…” Oct 9, 09:49
Aidan on There May Be Justice: ““Professor Baird has knowledge of Scottish political issues, academic qualifications and long experience of maritime business. His involvement in the…” Oct 9, 09:38
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “@ Alan Austin says: 9 October, 2026 at 8:30 am “Your response is actually factually incorrect” Hmmm. I believe the…” Oct 9, 09:05
Captain Caveman on There May Be Justice: “😀 Imagine thinking Alf Baird is the answer to Scotland’s manifold woes – and is a shoe-in for leading the…” Oct 9, 09:04
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: ““GlobalScot has more than 1,000 members across 62 countries (in 2021) supporting Scottish businesses in international markets and attracting inward…” Oct 9, 08:48
Alan Austin on There May Be Justice: “Your response is actually factually incorrect. Large oil Companies invest based on RONCE which is return on net capital employed.…” Oct 9, 08:30
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “@ Minceheid says: 9 October, 2026 at 7:54 am Thanks for the idea. But I think you’re overlooking something. When…” Oct 9, 08:24
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “Aye, sarah, it’s amazing hoo mony of us ken real colonisers. Ah hae a couple of rellies in Nova Scotia.…” Oct 9, 08:15
Minceheid on There May Be Justice: “Hatey McHateface says: 8 October, 2026 at 7:07 pm I’m having beans on toast for ma denner and I hate…” Oct 9, 07:54
sarah on There May Be Justice: “@ sam at 8.18. GlobalScot sounds a great organisation. You are right – the Scottish diaspora will help. Every Canadian…” Oct 8, 22:29
sam on There May Be Justice: “The Scots diaspora is likely to be a big help to a newly independent Scotland just as the Irish diaspora…” Oct 8, 20:18
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: ““everything that happens in a colony is due to colonialism” I’m starting to come around to your way of thinking,…” Oct 8, 19:07
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: ““the North Sea no longer has any oil that is economic to produce” It’s a fact not widely understood that…” Oct 8, 18:54
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: ““you vote the useless shower out. We simply can’t do that to Westminster, the more alert of you may have…” Oct 8, 18:39
factchecker on There May Be Justice: “Fair comment, I think, Rob I can only see one way – vote the SNP out. Abstaining/spoiling a ballot paper…” Oct 8, 18:24
Alf Baird on There May Be Justice: ““You grab independence so you have all the levers to make things better” Indeed so. A colonized people have no…” Oct 8, 18:12
am firinn on There May Be Justice: “Sarah is right. The idea that you have to set up a perfect administration before you thrown off the shackles…” Oct 8, 17:44
Rob on There May Be Justice: “You would trust the current mob in any way at all, I think they make even Westminster look good and…” Oct 8, 17:40
Alan Austin on There May Be Justice: “The mines closed because the coal was not economic against oil so the miners lost thier jobs due to economics.…” Oct 8, 17:17