The abusive Facebook comments recently directed at Labour MP Margaret Curran and highlighted in a piece on the STV website today make us sigh. Not only are they horrible but they’re counter-productive, in every sense of the term – they’re not going to change Curran’s mind about anything by yelling at her, and they feed a narrative about “vile cybernats” that the media is all too eager to gleefully perpetuate.
So let’s make something clear from the off: shut up, idiots. You’re not helping.
Because a good satirist can sometimes make a point better in seven sentences than idiots like us can in a 1000-word article, and make it funny at the same time.
The very few readers who don’t immediately just snort and turn the page when they see the words “George Foulkes” may have noticed in yesterday’s Herald that the thirsty peer could be found gloating gleefully that had Scotland voted for independence last September it would now be “bankrupt” due to the decline in oil prices.
We can’t be bothered pointing out for the 500th time that a Yes vote wouldn’t have seen Scotland actually independent until March 2016, and that the oil price NOW is therefore about as relevant to anything as, well, Baron Foulkes himself.
But we couldn’t help noticing a couple of small arithmetical details.
There really isn’t very much of a news story in this morning’s Sun “exclusive” that some Labour MPs say they’d quit the party rather than work with the SNP should the electorate deliver such a result in May. One told the paper:
Those of us who remember the parade of furious Scottish Labour figures going on TV and openly threatening to scupper any “rainbow coalition” involving the Nats in 2010, thereby ensuring that David Cameron and George Osborne came to power, won’t be the least bit surprised at the sheer depth of hatred and jealous rage that consumes Labour’s branch office in North Britain when the SNP are mentioned.
And there’s nothing eyebrow-raisingly new in Scottish Labour’s spiteful determination that if Scots vote against the Conservatives – but not for Labour – they should be punished with Tory governments. It’s the standard policy of electoral blackmail that the party has deployed against the rise of rivals from the left for years, and which it’s now also turning against the Greens south of the border.
But there is a telling phrase in that short quote.
Independent website Political Compass has just released its 2015 graph charting the ideological positions of all the political parties of the UK. It’s a fairly predictable one.
On the image above, we’ve added, for parties active in Scotland only, striped circles indicating each party’s 2010 position. But what does it tell us about 2015?
It’s somehow fitting that the lead article on Labour Hame today is headed by a lie before it even starts – an offer to join the party for £1 that takes you to a page where it actually costs five times as much.
(We’d noticed days ago that the much-hyped £1 offer had been quietly dumped after just a month, but it appears that nobody in the Scottish branch office thought to keep poor hapless Labour Hame in the loop.)
The article below, though, is remarkably even more dishonest.
A number of readers last night sent us copies of the response to complaints they’d made to the Independent Press Standards Organisation about the Daily Record’s infamous “The Vow” front cover. We attach the full judgement at the bottom of this article, and as far as we’re concerned it’s fair and accurate. The Vow was a deliberate deception, but it didn’t break any rules – it merely relied on readers misinterpreting it.
The bit we’re still interested in is the paragraph above.
It gets clearer with every passing day that Scottish Labour’s chief election strategy is to assume that Scottish voters are goldfish. There’s no other explanation for a piece in yesterday’s Courier on the SNP’s Jamie Hepburn’s call for the implementation of a 2009 report into which sporting events should be protected from pay-TV broadcasters.
The article concluded with some comments from Labour.
twathater on There May Be Justice: “Thank you and the legal Eagles supporting you and us on this challenge to corruption and lies within the legal…” Oct 6, 02:02
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “Quote Cesaire until the cows come home, Alf, it won’t undo the fact you selectively cropped Northy’s post to change…” Oct 5, 21:56
Alf Baird on There May Be Justice: “That’s quite a meaningless diversion even for ‘an operator’ like you Hatey. The obvious reality here is that Scotland is…” Oct 5, 21:36
Rev. Stuart Campbell on There May Be Justice: “I’m in touch with Paul, but he’s not an ATM. He’s been supportive and we’ll see where we are if…” Oct 5, 21:08
100%Yes on There May Be Justice: “Who can blame him, I wish him well and thank Bruce for all he’s done. grumpyscottishman.wordpress.com is no longer available.…” Oct 5, 20:43
Hatey McHateface on The Love Of Big Brother: “The cheek of her to complain. When she’s looking so well, hale and hearty on the very fare she’s complaining…” Oct 5, 19:59
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “Your selectively cropped quotation is blindingly obvious, Alf. Not quite the best way for an academic to impress his peers.…” Oct 5, 19:54
Dickie on There May Be Justice: “Ever considered contacting Paul McManus?” Oct 5, 19:54
Aidan on The Love Of Big Brother: “The right to self-determination is indeed universal and inalienable, but outside of a military occupation or colonialism (neither of which…” Oct 5, 19:49
Hatey McHateface on The Love Of Big Brother: “Which is going to break up first then, Alf? The UK or Orcland?” Oct 5, 19:14
Alf Baird on There May Be Justice: ““Scotland is the mess it is because it isn’t independent” Indeed so. Colonialism is ‘a Manichaean world’ (Fanon) where light…” Oct 5, 19:14
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “Don’t waste your time. The list of independent, corrupt countries is longer than both your arms.” Oct 5, 19:10
Hatey McHateface on The Love Of Big Brother: “Very happy indeed to be a white man, Confused. Equally happy for you to self identify as something inferior. Long…” Oct 5, 19:00
Al-Stuart on There May Be Justice: “. The whimpering sound of something curled up in a mingin, damp, dirty corner is wee James Kelly crying himself…” Oct 5, 18:55
Alf Baird on The Love Of Big Brother: “” Article 2 guarantees the territorial integrity and political independence of all member states.” Which only applies if the state…” Oct 5, 18:50
Lorncal on The Love Of Big Brother: “H McH: we have had a nationalist government for around 20 years of over 300 years in the Union, so,…” Oct 5, 18:38
Dave on There May Be Justice: “The SNP’s entire raison d’être and defining mission should have always been about just one thing: independence for Scotland. However,…” Oct 5, 17:32
100%Yes on There May Be Justice: “Well done Rev. Hopefully history being made.” Oct 5, 17:21
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on There May Be Justice: “Attempt at a Gaelic version of the above – AN RÒS BEAG GEAL Chan eil mo shùil air ròs an…” Oct 5, 17:12
Northcode on There May Be Justice: “For those interested, a Scottish judicial review typically takes 6–18 months from lodging the petition to a final decision, depending…” Oct 5, 17:05
Rev. Stuart Campbell on In The Eyes Of The Law: “For the reasons explained in last week’s post about it. Does anyone bother reading past the fucking headline?” Oct 5, 16:22
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Love Of Big Brother: ““I thought the introduction of these rules matched those already in place in England and Wales from a year ago.”…” Oct 5, 16:20
holymacmoses on There May Be Justice: “The Scottish people owe yourself, Roddy, David and Lynne and no doubt a few more ‘good men’, a huge debt…” Oct 5, 15:44
Gordoz on There May Be Justice: “Q- Why do I always end up agreeing with Rev Campbell ?? A- Turns out he is pretty much the…” Oct 5, 15:44
Northcode on There May Be Justice: ““This is about being a country worthy of independence…” It could be argued that Scotland is the mess it is…” Oct 5, 15:28
panda paws on There May Be Justice: ““So please don’t donate any more money at this stage, unless you ARE one of said eccentric billionaires” I’m not…” Oct 5, 15:22
TURABDIN on There May Be Justice: “There are two mindsets. The one that operates from the general to the particular and one that operates in the…” Oct 5, 15:01
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on There May Be Justice: “Willie writes (5 Oct 2026 at 1:09 pm): « This one’s for Moira…Democracy is a fragile flower » —————- Brings…” Oct 5, 13:53
Terry on There May Be Justice: “Proud to be part of this – especially when I complained to the police about the donations I gave, got…” Oct 5, 13:25
Aidan on The Love Of Big Brother: “Yes “Confused” – an accurate and concise description description of the formation of Great Britain is “irrelevant pedantry”, whereas your…” Oct 5, 13:23