Only a few diehards in the press are still clinging this morning to the Labour fiction we exposed yesterday, namely the flat-out empirical falsehood that “the biggest party gets to form a government” in the event of a hung Parliament.
As that’s where Scottish Labour is led from, of course. The Ashcroft polls leaked late last night have, it’s fair to say, caused a certain degree of furore among politics types.
Contrary to some expectations, the figures could scarcely have been worse. Of 16 seats polled – 14 held by Labour and two Lib Dem – 15 would go to the SNP on staggering swings of over 20%. Labour’s Glasgow heartlands would be all but wiped out, with only Willie Bain in Glasgow North East barely clinging on.
The SNP will undoubtedly be cock-a-hoop, but will almost certainly also be feverishly warning activists that polls don’t win seats and reminding them of the party’s own spectacular recovery in the 2011 Holyrood election from what looked like disaster just a couple of months out from the vote.
Lord Ashcroft himself points out (as we did ourselves on Twitter last night) that the seats he polled were mainly in areas that voted Yes last year, and so may be unduly flattering the SNP. But it’s worth seeing them in context.
By now we imagine most readers have already seen the alleged leak of the Ashcroft polling results which aren’t due to be officially released until 11am today [EDIT 00.47am: out now], and which suggest some jaw-dropping SNP gains.
We’re not going to go off half-cocked until those have been confirmed, so instead here’s something sent in by an alert reader. It’s an extract from the autobiography of former Radio 1 DJ Liz Kershaw, and describes events around the funeral of Princess Diana. We think you’ll find it enlightening.
Remarkably, 26% of people planning to vote Labour in May, and an astounding 54% of likely Tory voters, say the SNP are the best guarantors of more powers, while 21% of Labour voters and 37% of Tories also answer “SNP” to the second question.
We wouldn’t want to be in Scottish Labour’s shoes if they were made of diamonds.
We pondered long and hard over how best to analyse Scottish Labour’s bewildering, oh-my-God-they’re-really-calling-it-that “Vow Plus” fiasco from yesterday, readers.
We contemplated noting the absurdity of Gordon Brown being its frontman when he’s not standing in May and won’t be in Parliament to deliver it. We considered a forensic deconstruction showing how it’s just the same old reheated, uncosted rubbish they’ve been waffling around for the past years.
(“Give Holyrood control of housing benefit, separating it out from the rest of the UK’s Universal Credit by mumble mumble! Increase pensions using the extra cash freed up by mumble mumble! Devolve workfare, which somehow magically ‘creates jobs’ by mumble mumble! Pretend we just said ‘1000 nurses’ all along, not the demented ‘1000 more than anything the SNP say’!”)
We thought about pointing out all the comical flapping the party’s done around its devolution proposals, presenting the weary and confused Scottish people with feeble, grudging, underwhelming plan after feeble, grudging, underwhelming plan – at least five different ones since 2009 – and resentfully upping the offer by the bare minimum they think they can get away with every time.
And we wondered if it was worth drawing attention to the fact that the latest effort is actually basically the Strathclyde Commission blueprint from the Conservatives with a red sticker hastily slapped on it.
But in the end, the truth is a lot simpler than that.
Ostensibly it’s gathering signatures representing opposition to the bedroom tax, but in fact its only purpose is to harvest email addresses so that Labour can then bombard unwitting recipients with dodgy, untruthful solicitations for cash. (What would actually be the point of a petition about the bedroom tax at this stage?)
We haven’t done a monthly stats post for a few months, partly because naturally traffic’s been down after the insane spike of last September, partly because we had two weeks off in October (and a semi-break over Christmas and New Year), and partly because we’ve moved to new, more accurate and more detailed figures direct from our webhost and January was the first full month of them.
So here, for those of you who like to keep track, are the headlines:
We’re pretty blown away by that, to be honest. A tiny fraction shy of 300,000 unique readers (in what’s traditionally a very slow month for politics, and one we didn’t really start until the second week) is 157% up on a year ago, and nearly 50,000 higher than last May, which was the all-time high until the mad last few weeks of the referendum campaign. (It’s the 3rd-highest ever, after September and August 2014.)
If you’d told us we’d be anywhere near those sorts of numbers four months after a No vote (or indeed if we’d even still be going four months after a No vote), we’d have said you were missing a few marbles. But as long as you’re still here, we will be too*.
Aidan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “@Geri – there is no point engaging with whatever psychotic rant you’ve decided to treat us all to. I and…” Mar 1, 07:11
Aidan on Two Men Unalike: “Just a shame these principled, capable characters aren’t capable of campaigning for themselves, so need us all to go out…” Mar 1, 07:02
sarah on Two Men Unalike: “As the Rev has been saying for many years, we need to get rid of the existing politicians. We need…” Feb 28, 23:58
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Two Men Unalike: “JENNIFER BILEK | Who is Behind the TRANS AGENDA? (2023) Jennifer Bilek is an investigative journalist, a feminist and a…” Feb 28, 23:42
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Oi Fandan That’ll be eight of yours too then trying desperately to look relevant with zero point but word salad…we…” Feb 28, 20:56
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “*scans Franchise fannies mutterings for any deep & meaningful insight, rebuttal or even a quality counter argument* FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!…” Feb 28, 20:46
lorncal on Two Men Unalike: “Three strands at work here: 1. the big corporates (all male) which have invested billions in the ‘trans’ industry -…” Feb 28, 20:30
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “Pedophile Apologists. Friends of Groomers. Corrupt to the core. Makes the SNP look like a community project with missing raffle…” Feb 28, 20:22
Aidan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “That’s 8 posts from you Alf, all of which say basically the same thing. You might get beyond rhetoric to…” Feb 28, 20:16
Cynicus on Two Men Unalike: “Don’t expect Parliament to do anything about this in a hurry. It too is virtually captured. Almost 12 % of…” Feb 28, 20:05
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “They have cut off the head of the snake. The Iranian supreme leader is no longer.” Feb 28, 19:55
Alf Baird on The Tactics Of Suicide: “For the “hard of thinking” colonialists BTL – an ye aw ken wha ye are, an so dae we -…” Feb 28, 19:45
Sven on Two Men Unalike: “Lends a whole new meaning to the term, “Labour of love”, Mark B.” Feb 28, 19:03
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “God help those who help themselves. Korea next? Why not. Zap the bastards.” Feb 28, 18:36
Young Lochinvar on Two Men Unalike: “Strike Hebes, should have read camel jockeys.” Feb 28, 18:32
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “Pride in the workplace. Does that include Rent Boys.” Feb 28, 18:32
Young Lochinvar on Two Men Unalike: “Hi tech long range warfare unleashed yet again. God help the Americans if the Hebes and Mullahs get their hands…” Feb 28, 18:28
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Correct, Geri. I don’t think most folk will need as many as three guesses… one will probably be enough.” Feb 28, 18:18
Aidan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Of course no mildly educated person in reasonable control of their own faculties and with a balanced state of mind…” Feb 28, 18:04
Nae Need! on Two Men Unalike: “In my head, that’s pretty much how I visualise the word: Nonce sense.” Feb 28, 18:00
Nae Need! on Two Men Unalike: “Indeed. Anarcho-tyranny doing its thing.” Feb 28, 17:57
Nae Need! on Two Men Unalike: “My thoughts too.” Feb 28, 17:56
TURABDIN on Two Men Unalike: “The fantastic world according to Lewis Caroll is preferable to the sinister world according to D Trump. Where’s the rabbit…” Feb 28, 17:52
Bilbo on The Tactics Of Suicide: “It couldn’t happen to a nicer person lol but I’m cynical that all these recent allegations of misconduct is a…” Feb 28, 17:51
Bilbo on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Thanks Cynicus for your measured reply. I don’t get involved in anything to do with events in the ME especially…” Feb 28, 17:40
Nae Idea on Two Men Unalike: “These trans people are dangerous lunatics. For the tiny number of them they are, they have caused a HELLUVA lot…” Feb 28, 16:46
SilentMajority on Two Men Unalike: “I thoroughly agree. It was wonderful watching Peterson, who very politely, showed just how biased Newman is. Definitely recommended viewing!” Feb 28, 16:30
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Geri is about as connected to the truth as Trump and Uncle Vlad and their respective acolytes. She couldn’t rip…” Feb 28, 16:26
Sean Duffy on Two Men Unalike: “Further proof that it’s all noncense! [spelling intentional].” Feb 28, 16:05
twathater on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Oh NO crivvens help me bob , I am distraught Kay with an E the STAR Kaye Adams reportedly axed…” Feb 28, 15:54