Our alert readers will probably be aware of the psychological phenomenon commonly known as the five stages of grief. If not, there’s a rather good piece by Andrew Nicoll in today’s Scottish Sun about it in the context of Scottish Labour.
But while perceptive, Nicoll is a little behind the times, because it appears that the party’s branch office manager Jim Murphy has invented a sixth.
Welcome, viewers, to the new final stage of grief: delusion.
Impressive as it is in a party with Jackie Baillie in it, Kezia Dugdale has carved out quite a reputation in Scottish Labour as a specialist in making categorical statements of facts which turn out not to be true. So we were naturally sceptical when she claimed on today’s Sunday Politics Scotland that Stewart Hosie of the SNP hadn’t said whether a commitment to a second independence referendum would be in tomorrow’s SNP manifesto.
We thought that he had, and so did presenter Gordon Brewer, but Dugdale was most adamant – “I listened VERY carefully, very carefully indeed” – that he’d “dodged and dived” on the matter, and spent more than a minute of her interview saying so.
So we went back and checked, because that’s what we do.
Countless thousands of words – indeed, even an entire book – have been written by commentators and pundits right across the political spectrum about the long demise of the Labour Party in Scotland.
It remains to be seen whether the coming election will deliver the coup de grace that pollsters are predicting. Meanwhile, though, readers searching for an explanation but short on free time could do a lot worse than sit through this interview with the Scottish branch office deputy manager, Kezia Dugdale, from today’s Sunday Politics Scotland.
The Sunday Times front page today reports (although in fact we can’t find the story anywhere on its website or in its iPad app) the 8,745th “intervention” by Gordon Brown in Scottish politics, the thing which is at least notionally still his actual day job.
We’re going to need someone to explain to us why even the punch-drunk inhabitants of Scottish Labour HQ could possibly imagine that to be a good idea.
A variant on the story below appears in most of the right-wing press today.
That’s the Daily Mail version, which is the most detailed. The Express’s reporting was similar. But in order to manufacture a grievance on behalf of UKIP and the Tories, every paper which covers the story is required to torture the data beyond all reason.
In the wake of the latest Ashcroft polls, the only line being deployed by Scottish Labour is that the projected outcome of an SNP landslide would be great news for the Conservatives and lead to David Cameron returning in triumph to Downing Street. One would presume, then, that the Tory press is delighted by the prospect.
So let’s check out some stories from today’s Daily Mail and Scottish Daily Mail.
We know we’ve made this point several times before. But can someone explain to us again how there’s no significant difference between the (broad, collective) political outlook of the respective peoples of Scotland and England? Because if there isn’t, doing this kind of thing just doesn’t make any sense at all.
“Scottish Labour” apparently launched its election “manifesto” somewhere in Scotland today. The “leader” of the fringe “party”, Jon Murnaghan or something, seemingly got a bit confused and made a number of pledges regarding devolved issues over which the Westminster government to be elected next month will have no control whatsoever, and would properly belong in a manifesto for the 2016 Scottish Parliament election.
Mr Morley or whatever his name is, who – assuming he wins his own seat – will be an insignificant backbench MP in the event of Ed Miliband’s Labour party winning the election, also said a bunch of other stuff about the SNP being “bad” because they refused to tell him what would be in their 2016 manifesto, further supporting the idea that the agitated branch official had lost track of what year it was.
Those are the words of David Cameron as he launched the Scottish Tories’ manifesto in front of a heavily-vetted invited audience in Glasgow yesterday. They make the pages of a couple of other papers, including the Guardian (which hides them even further down the page than the Sun does), but it’s only the Herald that picks up on their significance, leading its article with the unequivocal lines:
So, let’s just get this one straight, this morning’s English edition of The Sun – two parties with 316 seats are “stealing” an election from two parties with 309 seats?
Want us to walk you through that whole “counting” thing again?
Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: “Personally, like you I’m not a big fan of the EU, Hatey. But really this should have been and is…” Aug 7, 21:44
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “” Note the ‘C’ word there. Readers who have swallowed whole Professor Baird’s “Scotland as colony” thesis can’t seriously be…” Aug 7, 19:33
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “An interesting article on how the pro-EU government recently voted into power in Hungary is gerrymandering the constitution to ensure…” Aug 7, 19:11
Chas on The Party Of The Dead: “Just out of intetest who is ‘our own people’? Have you got any names?” Aug 7, 17:32
Vestas on The Party Of The Dead: “Presumably they’ll have the “Murrell Money” to rely on for next years accounts?” Aug 7, 16:33
David Ferguson on The Party Of The Dead: “@Ian Smith it seems Glasgow may be an innocent party here. Arday’s claim that he was a “full Professor” at…” Aug 7, 15:34
I. Despair on Anatomy Of A Grift: “…and a sequel, Gorillas on the Piss.” Aug 7, 14:35
lothianlad on The Party Of The Dead: “The SNP leadership has capitualted to the notion of westminster soverignty!! Thats something the SNP NEVER did util sturgeon took…” Aug 7, 14:21
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Once again, Alf, many thanks. As you write, it seems difficult for me to understand. But ultimately, I’m not seeing…” Aug 7, 12:23
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “Good grief, Alf, thought you might’ve taken the (very clear) hint from this site’s Editor last time: give it a…” Aug 7, 11:14
robertkknight on The Party Of The Dead: “What does DEI mean again? Oh yes, “Didn’t Earn It”. The road to WOKE is paved with the worst kind…” Aug 7, 11:00
Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: ““Why the hell Glasgow made him a professor” Same reason all 19 higher education institutions in Scotland mostly appoint people…” Aug 7, 11:00
BLMac on The Party Of The Dead: “Hopefully the staff cuts have been on the demented pronoun police types, but that’s unlikely. Probably managed to weed out…” Aug 7, 10:56
Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: ““I’d ask you for a weather forecast” As that seems difficult for you to understand, I’ll make it easier for…” Aug 7, 10:46
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “@ Southernbystander says: 6 August, 2026 at 11:17 am The very concept of taboos becomes irrelevant in a multi-cultural context.…” Aug 7, 10:32
100%Yes on The Party Of The Dead: “That’s why getting rid of the SNP is important and will move things along. After the 2014 referendum the SNP…” Aug 7, 10:26
Ian Smith on The Party Of The Dead: “It was Glasgow that first made Arday a full time prof. That was the time to put his academic record…” Aug 7, 10:21
James Che on The Party Of The Dead: “100% Yes, We don,t require a new movement, we require our own parliament with our own people running it. Rather…” Aug 7, 09:52
James Che on The Party Of The Dead: “The insanity of having two English governing bodies means both sides of the border craziness. After all England suggested devolution…” Aug 7, 09:40
100%Yes on The Party Of The Dead: “The fall of the SNP poses a bigger problem not for Independence that’ll happen without the SNP, its The National,…” Aug 7, 09:18
James Che on The Party Of The Dead: “Alex spoke about there being no actual Union between Scotland and England but took the wrong road in placing party…” Aug 7, 09:10
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Mail absolutely ripping into the scarce believable story that is Jason Arday: https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-16035019/Labour-scandal-woke-dogma.html I really want to believe that this…” Aug 7, 08:43
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Cheers, Alf, that’s a great help. I’d ask you for a weather forecast, but I’m confident you’re gonna say that…” Aug 7, 08:05
Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: ““What happens next?” Postcolonial theory is clear, Hatey, there are only two possible outcomes with colonialism (Memmi): 1. colonialism is…” Aug 7, 07:56
Stevie on The Party Of The Dead: “Wish they would just, collapse and disappear – repugnant lot. The MacGhost of a dream that should now just fade…” Aug 6, 23:34
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “Sorry Meant to add.. The “next” party.. What’s to stop the grifters and SPADS from just jumping ship to the…” Aug 6, 22:37
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “I think that anybody predicting anything for 5 years in the future really isn’t paying attention to the news. But…” Aug 6, 22:25
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “100 percenter That raises the fundamental problem. If an alternative Indy party is not nurtured then the death of the…” Aug 6, 22:17
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “Powerful post indeed Red. Needed said.” Aug 6, 22:00
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: ““all part of the decolonization process (Fanon)”, eh, Alf? What does Fanon say about the hijab and tea towel wearers?…” Aug 6, 21:44