We’ve been quiet today because we’ve been wading through the 80-odd painfully-dry pages of the Labour 2015 election manifesto, folks. It’s a deeply tedious read – screeds and screeds of waffly text about how nice things are nice and good things are good but bad things are bad. A couple of things did jump out, though. Here’s one.
Alert readers will of course recall that the party’s solemn pledge in Scotland is to provide 1000 more nurses (hastily revised from the comical “1000 more than whatever the SNP say”) from the proceeds of the Mansion Tax, even though NHS Scotland is devolved and no Westminster government can in fact hire a single Scottish nurse.
But hang on. Something’s not right about those numbers.
A super-alert reader pointed out something about today’s Sunday Politics that we hadn’t noticed. Before the galaxy-class trainwreck that was the Scottish leaders’ debate, the networked section of the show had a piece on Scottish polling, and our eagle-eyed viewer spotted that the chart of projected seats wasn’t in proportion.
So we measured, and this is what it should have looked like.
With there only having been three hours of the Scottish political party leaders (and Jim Murphy) debating on TV so far this week, and four days to wait for another one, BBC Scotland thought they might need another 40 minutes on this afternoon’s Sunday Politics Scotland to discuss the issues around the forthcoming general election.
It went well, but for busy readers in a hurry we’ve edited the show down to a compact nine-minute cut, which still gets across everything the full version did.
A great example of adult discourse, expertly set. Well done, everyone.
There’s very little actual political news today, so the papers have largely been forced to either basically not have any at all (the Sunday Post and Scottish Sun On Sunday) or make up totally mad stuff for laughs to fill the space.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Scottish Liberal Democrat manifesto 2015:
I voted for this pathetic shower of useless snivellers for 23 years, folks. I’ve learned my lesson. Once again, I can only hang my head and beg forgiveness.
With the “biggest party forms the government” lie now sunk and rusting slowly on the seabed (weighed down even further by polls suggesting that Labour actually will be the largest party even if they lose all of Scotland to the SNP), and four weeks of campaigning left to fill, Scottish Labour have had to grab a hammer, smash the glass on the “EMERGENCY – IN CASE OF DESPERATION” box and clutch desperately at whatever they found inside.
The abject answer is “Project Fear 2 – This Time It’s Full Fiscal Autonomy”.
After this week’s STV and BBC debates, in which the Scottish Labour branch-office manager’s combative performances were favourably received by the Scottish media, Wings exclusively interviews armed-forces enthusiast Jim Murphy for a response to the latest numbers from YouGov, pausing first for the delivery of some refreshments.
It’s worth reminding yourself before you watch this clip from BBC News this morning that the gentleman at the lectern isn’t some rabid Daily Mail columnist, but is in fact the Secretary of State for Defence, Michael Fallon.
The “SPACE MONSTERS!” rationale for foreign policy. Who saw that one coming?
Alf Baird on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““It’s a shite state of affairs” In a colonial society where external interference is the norm and another culture dominates…” Feb 28, 09:34
Bilbo on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I had made a habit of reading the Guardian and Daily Mail websites to see how the other side thinks,…” Feb 28, 09:31
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Dear me Geri, your unwelcome return to BTL commentary does – if nothing else – provide some comedy relief in…” Feb 28, 08:38
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Voting against the SNP presupposes that the available alternatives aren’t as bad or worse though surely? Like many I’ll never…” Feb 28, 08:13
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Well here’s her chance to woman up and do her duty. It’s totally sickening what those young girls had to…” Feb 28, 08:10
Aidan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Yes Geri – I’m asking to be treated like royalty. That famously royal experience of an efficient passport system, the…” Feb 28, 07:57
Young Lochinvar on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I suspect nothing. She’s one of Tricky Nicky’s right side of the bed (way over ability) appointees. Goes to John…” Feb 28, 03:06
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Her handlers have their wee indiscretions. Torture a particular favourite & the Eppy class become orgasmic when victims cry out…” Feb 28, 01:10
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “A Brexshiteer crying about no freedom of movement is absolutely priceless. How very dare they not treat you like Royalty.” Feb 28, 00:47
Aidan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “The only thing that could put me in a good mood today after the long queues at Berlin Brandenburg airport…” Feb 28, 00:14
Iain More on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Zeig Heil yah English NAZI. I guess you also like being associated with a Yankee Epstein Class Child Rapist.” Feb 27, 23:44
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “increasing defence expenditure, and promoting the formation of an independent European defence identity without the USA.’ Well, well would you…” Feb 27, 23:32
Cynicus on The Tactics Of Suicide: “?Andy Ellis says:?27 February, 2026 at 5:01 pm ‘Doubtless many “politically homeless” Scottish independence supporters…….. will be wondering who to…” Feb 27, 22:06
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “On the plus side, Alf, the special needs child remains blissfully oblivious. So no harm done.” Feb 27, 21:37
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I wonder how Jenny Gilrough! (fuck the fascist Gestapo spelling politzi) felt after listening to the victims of the Pakistani…” Feb 27, 21:37
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I’ve just been busted by the Grammar Gestapo (again). If I’m not heard of again then light a candle.” Feb 27, 21:31
Benhope on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Mark Beggan at 7.55 pm. The pedant in me could not let it pass ; death throes not death throws…” Feb 27, 21:14
Alf Baird on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Ever the paternalistic colonizer dealing with its wayward child, the colonized.” Feb 27, 20:59
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “@Sven ‘I love children but I couldn’t eat a whole one”” Feb 27, 20:51
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I feel a little sorry for the plumber bint. She’s throwing away a steady, high earning, useful, productive, respected, needed…” Feb 27, 20:20
GM on The Tactics Of Suicide: “As did Enoch Powell. I think Enoch actually spoke the language.” Feb 27, 20:16
Sven on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Mark Beggan @ 19.12. But, “When I became a man I put away childish things,” mostly, as every Dad knows,…” Feb 27, 20:13
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “The old saying ‘When you sup with the devil use a long spoon’ comes to mind. The Greens will roll…” Feb 27, 19:55
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Crivens, Geri. If you went private during the time you were referred for treatment, sue them for every penny you…” Feb 27, 19:39
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I’ll throw the question open to you too, Northy. Any ideas for May? Anything that will set the heather alight…” Feb 27, 19:19
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Its you that’s delusional, as per usual. This news just in – No one likes the Unelected leaders at the…” Feb 27, 19:15
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “‘When I was a child I thought like a child, I spoke like a I reasoned like a child……” Corinthians…” Feb 27, 19:12
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “The Green people who want to end mass air travel are greetin that people can’t afford holidays. The Green people…” Feb 27, 19:11
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Wow, Geri. From zero to posting pedo accusations within 24 hours. Promise us you’ll never change. Xxx” Feb 27, 18:59
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “It won’t be changing with London based stooges that’s for sure. The nawbags have far too much to lose. Say…” Feb 27, 17:43
