Last month saw the first meeting between the UK Brexit delegation and the EU’s, and by many accounts it fell far short of the UK’s expectations. David Davis spent months drumming up the “strong and stable” approach which would see both the divorce deal and the subsequent post-Brexit trade deal negotiated simultaneously. He was told by everyone that this wouldn’t happen, but simply brushed off the warnings. When push came to shove, he finally accepted that he’d have to negotiate the divorce deal first.
This is just the latest in a long string of failures and ineptitudes over the course of the UK’s handling of the whole farcical process and it got me thinking. If Scotland had voted Yes in 2014, what would it have looked like if the Scottish Government had handled that vote the way the UK has managed Brexit?
Millionaire-funded diehard loyalist forelock-tugging faction Scotland In Union published an extraordinary blog post yesterday.
Its 606 words comprised a sort of Caledonian Cringe Greatest Hits, allegedly penned by someone called Fiona Annesley (of whom we’re told nothing else, and who has no detectable online presence), but the line that particularly caught people’s eye was this:
The complete series so far. If you’ve got a story like this to tell, or you know anyone who does, Phantom Power want to hear from you – drop them a line.
I went to “Dunkirk” at the cinema today. If you want to know what it’s like, just watch this trailer 40 times in a row and save yourself the £12.
It’s a poor movie, disjointed and aimless and curiously lacking in tension or narrative given the real-life subject matter. (It’s remarkably short on dialogue, which is lucky because you can barely make out any of what little script or story there is from behind the endlessly howling one-note airhorn of the soundtrack. It’s a bit like someone filmed an IKEA assembly manual in live action during a Formula 1 race.)
But I couldn’t help thinking that part of the reason it was so unengaging was because it felt akin to watching a boxing match between two fighters you don’t like. If Mike Tyson took on Tyson Fury, would you cheer for the rapist or the anti-Semitic homophobe?
Today’s Daily Record covers the story we mentioned yesterday about a report from a Scottish Labour campaign group making the pretty factually-uncontestable point that the branch office’s dismal strategy in last month’s election held the UK party back.
We’ll be honest with you here, readers – even though it’s only July, when it comes to sheer ham-fisted, tin-eared, clown-shoed, foot-shooting idiocy we didn’t think anything in Scottish politics in 2017 could possibly top the SNP’s decision that the surefire way to win back voters after a poor election result was literally mutilating puppies.
After all, that’s the sort of thing you say as a self-evidently ludicrous and hyperbolic joke: “Ha ha, the SNP are so dominant in Scotland these days that the only way they could lose an election would be if Nicola Sturgeon went on telly and started hacking the tails off week-old puppy-dogs without anaesthetic! LOL!!!!!”
It couldn’t even be defended as a grotesque but cynically cunning attempt to win votes from the rural hunting-and-fishing lobby – they did it right AFTER the election, when all those people had just gone out and voted Tory anyway.
But bless their hearts, Scottish Labour never once saw a low bar that they didn’t try to slither under, and today they pulled off the seemingly impossible.
Broadly speaking, the psychological phenomenon known as the Pollyanna Principle is a tendency to neurotically see the most positive possible view of a situation. It’s not generally widely found in newspapers – for whom bad news as a rule sells much better than good news – but for some reason the Scottish press makes a uniform exception when it comes to military shipbuilding.
This, for example, is today’s Herald:
Now, in itself that headline is – unusually – true, so far as it goes. But it only takes until the first sentence of the article text before things start to fall apart.
sam on Irony you can’t buy: “Yes, Andy. The majority of people in Ireland (south of border), around 66% favour reunification. Their wishes are likely to…” Mar 22, 14:48
James Barr Gardner on Irony you can’t buy: ““Scotland is entirely FREE to leave only if its granted by the PM @ Westminster”. That being the case London…” Mar 22, 14:40
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “What we need is a revolution & a spot of regime change. Forget Ayatollahs – we’ve got the fckn parasitic…” Mar 22, 14:24
Confused on Irony you can’t buy: “why? https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/03/21/drilling-north-sea-answer-energy-crisis/ – surely the city, being the engine of wealth creation, can solve all problems via the free market…” Mar 22, 13:05
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: “Mark Beggan @ 09.49. Twinkle, Twinkle, little star. I don’t wonder what you are. I surmised your spot in space…” Mar 22, 12:14
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: “Could Sturgeon be a plagiarist? The quote “If everything is a scandal, nothing is.” is attributed to Mary Anne MacLeod…” Mar 22, 12:04
Andy Ellis on Irony you can’t buy: “even if NI wanted a border poll it down to the PM granting it even though its state they can…” Mar 22, 11:57
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: “Professor Aileen Mcharg is English and a unionist (colonist if preferred… same thing)… so not much point in listening to…” Mar 22, 11:38
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “George Galloway, maybe the only person to show the Labour supporters who want Independence that voting for the SNP is…” Mar 22, 11:34
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “Aidan, I couldn’t post to you above as there was no reply option. Reading between the lines the SNP leadership/SG…” Mar 22, 11:20
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “And when the Lefty’s were thrown down into hell. They cried! ” Lord forgive us we didny Ken” And the…” Mar 22, 10:56
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: ““William George Walker (SNP politician) A case was brought against Walker and was heard at Edinburgh Sheriff Court on nine…” Mar 22, 10:56
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: ““So Scotland Independence hopes within the UK system is dead…” Such hopes were never alive, such hopes were never real,…” Mar 22, 10:48
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “That is wrong. Scotland is a sovereign nation & there were preconditions before the Act of Union ever took place.…” Mar 22, 10:35
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: “Scottish Oath Taken: King Charles III took the statutory oath to uphold the Presbyterian Church of Scotland at the inaugural…” Mar 22, 10:29
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Instead of watching baby Trump maybe you should educate yourself. Iraq had emptied its war chest being a proxy for…” Mar 22, 10:24
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: “An alien spacecraft from another world did not crash land in America’s Area 51. The Illuminati is not a sinister…” Mar 22, 10:08
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “Blue blue windows behind the stars. Yellow moon on the rise. Big Missiles flying across the sky. Throwing shadows on…” Mar 22, 09:49
Aidan on Irony you can’t buy: “You’re right 100% Yes – the only route to Scottish independence within the UK’s legal system is for an act…” Mar 22, 09:36
Cynicus on Irony you can’t buy: “sam says: 22 March, 2026 at 7:46 am “Ye cannae spell. Loser” ========== How do you know that?” Mar 22, 08:43
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “What surprised me was the audience actually clapping Professor Aileen Mcharg, when she was stating clearly that Scotland had no…” Mar 22, 08:40
twathater on Irony you can’t buy: “Geri, Joanna is another one who sat on her arse and said fuck all about what was going on under…” Mar 22, 03:30
twathater on Irony you can’t buy: ““Thatcher was a necessary evil, presumably you didnt live in pre-Thatcher times” There speaks a good old tory with his…” Mar 22, 03:18
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “That comment. Or was it a rant. No one knows. I never read it but it proves that AI is…” Mar 21, 23:16
robertkknight on Irony you can’t buy: “Truth is to Sturgeon what intelligence is to Trump.” Mar 21, 22:55
William G Walker on Irony you can’t buy: “Does Nicola Sturgeon Tell “Frankly” Fibs About Three Political “Casualties”? I have now read Nicola Sturgeon’s Memoir, “Frankly”, and am…” Mar 21, 22:45
willie on Irony you can’t buy: “Bad management got bad unions. Two cheeks of the same arse. A bit like saying free enterprise good, state ownership…” Mar 21, 21:56