The Daily Mirror’s “Ampp3d” offshoot used to be a fantastic resource for statistical debunking, and sometimes still is. But ever since it’s been officially absorbed into the Mirror, it’s been increasingly deployed as a Labour spin tool.
Today it tries to juggle numbers to excuse Gordon Brown’s bargain-basement sale of the UK’s gold reserves in 1999 – a subject that was raised by an audience member on last night’s Question Time special and which we now know with certainty cost the country a whopping $19bn (or £12.5bn at current exchange rates).
We’ve added the emphasis on that last sentence. And it’s a fair enough point broadly speaking, although of course with the gold sell-off we’re looking back with the benefit of hindsight about what actually did happen, not trying to guess, so calling it “fantasy maths” is somewhat inaccurate, given that it’s exactly the opposite of a fantasy.
The trouble is that Ampp3d isn’t always so dismissive of predicting the future.
Today’s Scottish Sun has a full breakdown of all 59 Scottish seats at Westminster, including bookies’ odds for the favourite in each one. It suggests that nine Labour MPs will have jobs in Scotland a week from today, along with two Tories and a single lonely Lib Dem, with the SNP sweeping the other 47.
We ran the incumbents in those 12 seats through MP Report Card, an independent site which tracks the activity of all the UK’s MPs including expenses claims, outside earnings, how often they turn up to vote or speak in debates and how good they are at replying to constituents’ letters, to gauge their calibre.
As far as we know, this is the final major set-piece interview that Jim Murphy will have to give before the general election.
As Sally Magnusson of Reporting Scotland makes an admirably dogged but ultimately unsuccessful effort to get a straight answer on just about anything out of Labour’s regional branch manager, we’d swear it was possible to actually measure the delirium of relief on his face as the end draws near and the desperate evasion is over forever.
We gather that for the next week Scottish Labour are just bringing in boardgames.
On the left, Jim Murphy campaigning for the Scottish Labour leadership a few months ago (the backdrop is distinctive, placing the pic sometime last November).
It’s come awfully late, but we’ve finally got an answer to a question people have been asking Jim Murphy since last December.
In an interview with the BBC’s Gary Robertson this morning, the Scottish Labour regional manager told listeners that should he win the East Renfrewshire seat in next month’s election, he’d stay in the job for the full five-year term, but would also stand for election as a Holyrood MSP in 2016.
Greg Moodie’s Election Dissection, a compilation of splendid cartoon strips from The National, Bella Caledonia and elsewhere, is available to order now.
Scottish Labour branch office manager Jim Murphy will be appearing on BBC Radio Scotland’s “Call Kaye” programme from 9am today, taking questions from voters as well as presenter Kaye Adams. The phone number to ring in is 0500 92 95 00.
Below are a few posers readers might like to put to Mr Murphy, because he seems to have been adept at avoiding them throughout the campaign. Feel free to reword them.
There’s a tactical voting tool on the Telegraph website, which despite a somewhat loaded headline purports to even-handedly advise confused voters on the best course of action to take in their own constituency depending on whether they want to keep Ed Miliband or David Cameron OUT of 10 Downing Street.
We were a bit suspicious when we typed our Bath postcode in and asked to keep Cameron out, because it advised us to vote Labour even though it’s one of the safest Lib Dem seats in the country (with the Tories in 2nd) and Labour got just 3,251 votes in 2010, which is to say they’ve got absolutely no hope here.
And then we tried some Scottish seats, and things got a bit creepy.
Waking up bleary-eyed this morning at 6.45am, we reached over to switch on Good Morning Scotland, just in time for the news headlines round-up. This is what we heard:
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Aw, dinna be like that, James. I’ve yet to run this past Northy, but I’m verra confident he’ll agree to…” Nov 7, 21:52
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Does this ring a bell” Sure. Reminds me of some of the posts on here within the past 24 hours.…” Nov 7, 21:40
James on Vibecoding A Better World: “And you, ‘maestro’, are the visible proof of this. All day, every day, sadly.” Nov 7, 20:41
James on Vibecoding A Better World: “Pretty obvious now that the ‘name’ previously masquerading as a Scotsman and independence supporter [“Northcode”] was in fact the “Site…” Nov 7, 20:37
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “Hatey, Shutting down the questioner, shutting down the discorse, shutting down the narrative. This was planned reactions of the CIA…” Nov 7, 20:20
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““We explicitly refuse to accept content or articles written or generated in full or in part by AI or LLMs”…” Nov 7, 20:20
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “Feargas MacFhionnlaigh, Do you know the reasons that the Banks funded The Womens Liberation Movement? 1: Because the Banks realised…” Nov 7, 20:06
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Vibecoding A Better World: “Bella Caledonia Statement on Artificial Intelligence « As a publisher and a space for creativity, we should be clear that…” Nov 7, 19:41
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Last words on the McAlpine – Baird debate. 1. It was a debate between two people holding to different views.…” Nov 7, 19:31
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Prof. Baird came over as a gentleman,Robin as a cunt” Looks like we have another definition from the Snowflake’s Pretendy…” Nov 7, 19:17
Minceheid on Vibecoding A Better World: “There was an article of McAlpine’s a few months ago which really didn’t sit right with me. I forget the…” Nov 7, 19:05
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “@Alf Baird says: 7 November, 2026 at 9:50 am “oppression” As it happens, Alf, you can read about some real…” Nov 7, 18:11
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Vibecoding A Better World: “PARENTS REPORTED TO SOCIAL SERVICES FOR NOT ‘AFFIRMING’ GENDER-CONFUSED CHILDREN Parents have warned that they are being reported to the…” Nov 7, 18:07
CatalogueTrewsers on Vibecoding A Better World: “I’ve been reading Robin McAlpine on and off for over a decade. Feel as if I saw his true colours.…” Nov 7, 18:02
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “Unfortunately a lot of the stations in Scotland are unbarriered. I also sense that unlike “James” who is likely to…” Nov 7, 16:57
Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: “@Alf In that case, why don’t you actually “seek the remedy” (in any meaningful, pragmatic, instructive and substantive sense) instead…” Nov 7, 11:00
Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: “Take heart, Aidan. There’s no way Confused would make it past the station barriers. I realise public transportation isn’t what…” Nov 7, 10:32
Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “Only once ‘a people’ truly understand their oppression will they urgently seek the only remedy: https://salvo.scot/scotlands-colonial-status/” Nov 7, 09:50
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “The Treaty of union between Scotland and England parliaments never concluded to its end date, the progression being halted by…” Nov 7, 09:43
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “The parliament of England did not cease to exist, it was transferred in its last session into the new brand,…” Nov 7, 09:32
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Again, Northy, you’re missing a key piece of the jigsaw. For £150 billion PA, Brussels will take all these petty…” Nov 7, 09:31
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: ““What’s your plan for governing Scotland after independence, Alf?” “£150 billion per year.” “Right… but what about trade, international relations,…” Nov 7, 09:10
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “@Northy I don’t think that’s a complete summary. You must also channel your inner Theresa May: Decolonisation means Decolonisation. And…” Nov 7, 08:58
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: ““What’s your plan for achieving independence, Alf?” “Liberation.” “Right… and how do you deliver liberation?” “Decolonisation.” “Okay, and what does…” Nov 7, 08:29
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Before you self-identify, MH, impress upon her that nay means nay. Maybe try ketamine a few times too. I hear…” Nov 7, 08:27
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Thanks for the link, Fearghas. At least we can now listen to it for ourselves. Up to now, all we’ve…” Nov 7, 08:11
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “An unfortunate side effect of pre-booked, pre-allocated seating. In the old days, regular travellers developed a “sixth sense” that helped…” Nov 7, 07:59
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Busy week, Confused? The evidence of this post suggests you’ve defo had something on your mind the entire time. If…” Nov 7, 07:50
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Well then, that’s something, Connie. There’s few on here ever graduated from the primary school playground. Take the comment above…” Nov 7, 07:36
Minceheid on Vibecoding A Better World: “Hatey McHateface says: 6 November, 2026 at 12:49 pm I’d be a bit more specific than “horse” if I were…” Nov 7, 07:33
