The Scottish Government have just launched yet another nanny-state “healthy eating” intervention, and to be honest, readers, the cheap-shot open goals just queued up.
Our first instinct was to do a simple picture gallery of some of the insatiable pie-hounds squeezing their expenses-fed backsides onto the groaning, creaking benches and chairs of the Holyrood and Westminster parliaments, such as Kirsten “Elbows” Oswald (pictured above, slumped back under the sheer weight of her neck) – so known to other MPs because you get between her and a buffet at grave peril to your ribcage.
(And no, we’re not telling you which ones told us that.)
More than three months have passed since Alex Salmond launched a lawsuit against the Scottish Government for its grotesquely botched handling of false allegations of sexual misconduct against him.
With Scottish politics currently in a completely moribund state, as the party of government disintegrates shambolically and the main opposition party keeps its mouth shut and its head down in an attempt to not destroy its newfound and extremely fragile status as a credible alternative, one might imagine that the political media would be desperate for the case to get under way and provide them with some juicy content.
So it’s slightly surprising that none of them has noticed the latest development.
We’re reluctant to even mention the farcical, embarrassing goings-on in the House Of Commons last night, but the very short version is that the SNP somehow contrived to save Keir Starmer from an embarrassing mass rebellion of Labour MPs.
And in so far as anyone cared about them at all, the people of Gaza were the losers.
As the long-running police probe into SNP finances continues, Wings received some slightly surprising news today in the form of an FOI response.
Based on reports from various trustworthy sources we’d expected to hear that the police side of the investigation was by this point winding down somewhat, with most matters of fact already established, detectives assigned to other duties and the ball now largely in the court of the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS).
Because we’re still more than two years out from the next Holyrood election, and it’s really hard to see how it’s going to pan out. So let’s throw some figures around.
This is so freaky I had to check they weren’t quoting each other. It’s like a game show.
Just a couple of nice well-brought-up Hutchesons’ Grammar boys in smart suits, there, thinking the same, speaking the same, saying the same, and angling for the same job. (Which one of them now has, and the other may have soon.)
If there’s ever been a (branch office of a) political party that could somehow manage to blow it in Scotland against the burning trainwreck in a ditch full of sewage that is the SNP right now, it’s definitely Anas Sarwar’s hapless Scottish Labour.
Honestly, this stuff is comedy gold. But in a winner-takes-all dumb-off with Humza Yousaf’s SNP, it’s way too close to call.
One year ago today, Nicola Sturgeon suddenly resigned as First Minister. And what a spectacular 12 months it’s been for the Yes movement since her departure.
Willie on Eyes Full Of Beams: “How many older people or infirm people will die tonight in an sub artic energy rich Scotland due to cold…” Jan 11, 02:00
twathater on Safeguarding Is Not Right-Wing: “If politicians were really interested every one of these scumbags who commit these heinous crimes would immediately be deported after…” Jan 11, 01:56
Aidan on Eyes Full Of Beams: “You’re not going down the Salvo/convention of the estates/independence fairy route now are you?” Jan 11, 01:45
Aidan on Eyes Full Of Beams: “I’m about 15 minutes away from the United Nations secretariat in New York. Would you like me to call in…” Jan 11, 01:44
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Trump Sings “You’re Welcome” From Moana (AI Cover:) “Huuha, ok ok I see what’s happening, yeah You’re face to face…” Jan 11, 01:30
gregor on Safeguarding Is Not Right-Wing: “June Slater @juneslater17: “I was contacted yesterday by someone from BBC Verify, asking where I got the information from for…” Jan 11, 00:44
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Thank you Mia. The Scotland Act 1998 reads: « Subsection (4) requires the First Minister and the other Scottish Ministers…” Jan 11, 00:09
Alf Baird on Eyes Full Of Beams: “It should be obvious what Scotland needs but the colonial condition is obscured for some, and especially the more assimilated…” Jan 10, 23:49
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Parliamentarians convince people to believe that they haven’t got any power – Parliamentarians are (were) specialists at deceiving people.” Jan 10, 23:48
gregor on Safeguarding Is Not Right-Wing: “Queen Natalie @TheNorfolkLion: “What the hell is going on in Scotland? This woke nonsense implemented in Scotland by Nicola Sturgeon…” Jan 10, 23:13
sarah on Eyes Full Of Beams: “To be fair, Dan, although I have often asked Stu to get on the phone to the other powerful thinkers…” Jan 10, 22:38
Tartanpigsy on Safeguarding Is Not Right-Wing: “The term ‘Grooming Gangs’ in itself belittles the crimes these people perpetrate It’s softening the essence of what they do…” Jan 10, 22:24
sarah on Eyes Full Of Beams: “I’m sick of waiting, too [and am well past retirement]. What drives me mad is that it is obvious what…” Jan 10, 22:11
Young Lochinvar on Eyes Full Of Beams: “About the best thing you have written here.” Jan 10, 22:08
jock mctavish on Eyes Full Of Beams: “I’m surprised at -ve response here. Never heard of Newspeak? As for AI, well it can hardly do worse than…” Jan 10, 22:05
Andy Ellis on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Sadly, Robin doesn’t tell us how we can make our rulers change their ways. We all know the ways to…” Jan 10, 21:44
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Scottish Greens: Scottish Government must make clear Donald Trump is not welcome: “Donald Trump is a threat to human rights.…” Jan 10, 21:34
aLurker on Safeguarding Is Not Right-Wing: “We should be careful not to be deceived by Nicola Murrells deliberate rhetorical trap here. Alex COULD be very hard…” Jan 10, 21:25
sarah on Eyes Full Of Beams: “There is a small torrent of articles pointing out the clear truth about what is wrong with Scotland’s, and other…” Jan 10, 20:50
Alf Baird on Eyes Full Of Beams: “And oor judges are appointed by and serve the wrang croun an aw: “In line with the statutory process for…” Jan 10, 20:21
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Mia has her own Scotland sovereign Crown, and she wears it with pride and passion (and duly defends it like…” Jan 10, 20:15
Dan on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Aye Sarah, there really needs to be some clarity on this subject. I’ve been pushing for an answer for months…” Jan 10, 19:57
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “AI For The Culture: Really I’m The Plug (1980:) “…looking for the plug?”Really, I’m The Plug…”: https://tinyurl.com/4fpcvr7m #Flow” Jan 10, 19:17
Dan on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Cheers for quick response. 10 pence a unit would be an absolute game changer for so many folk and businesses.…” Jan 10, 19:14
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Mi5 Security Service: Countering state threats: “What risk do state threats pose? State threats present a real and evolving risk…” Jan 10, 18:55
jock mctavish on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Shit, Orwell was right, just got the year wrong. Me, I’m rooting for AI to fix things, before trump and…” Jan 10, 18:45
Frank Gillougley on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Hi Dan, yeh your figure is about there. the missus checked it at 37.56 Forints which roughly equates to 9…” Jan 10, 18:44
