At a certain point you just have to laugh, even though it’s not really funny.
The submission being referred to is NOT the one Alex Salmond sent to the Holyrood committee this week, but the one he sent to the separate Hamilton inquiry almost a month ago, which had been cleared by his lawyers and was published in full by both Wings and The Spectator and read by tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people.
(For reasons we’re not allowed to tell you, the Wings version has been totally redacted and the Spectator’s has had one paragraph removed but is still mostly intact.)
Because the Fabiani inquiry won’t be publishing the document, that means Salmond isn’t allowed to discuss it when he gives oral evidence, and the inquiry isn’t permitted to consider any of its contents, just as with Geoff Aberdein’s submission.
(There’s very little Salmond actually WILL now be allowed to talk about if he appears before the committee. He might just about be able to confirm his name before the Lord Advocate has him arrested and charged with whatever the opposite of perjury is.)
In other words, the exact people who are supposed to be getting to the bottom of what happened are the only people in Scotland who have to pretend they haven’t read the evidence of the primary witness. (While also not being allowed to see the evidence of the other most important witness, or almost anything else.)
You really would struggle to make this stuff up, readers.
Tonight somebody’s sent us a copy of the SNP’s official Social Media Policy, which is exactly the sort of awful corporate wonk-drivel you’d probably expect it to be.
Our favourite part was this masterpiece of unrememberable gibberish in the vein of the Scottish Government’s hopeless “FACTS” slogan (honestly, without going and looking can you remember what ANY of the letters represent?) for the coronavirus :
And here’s a tweet from earlier today from a prospective SNP candidate:
We’re not sure which of the letters that conforms to.
Alert readers will have noticed by now that while we were at the dentist getting rid of all our excess money, the Fabiani inquiry has published Alex Salmond’s written evidence submission, ahead of his in-person appearance currently scheduled for next week.
We’re feeling a bit confused this morning, readers. Maybe someone can help.
Below is the key part of the letter sent by the Clerks of the Scottish Parliament, acting on behalf of the Fabiani committee, to the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS) a week and a half ago, requesting material for their investigation into the Scottish Government’s botched handling of false allegations against Alex Salmond.
As we’d told you at the time, the request was a sham, designed to produce nothing of any value, because it carefully excluded the only person whose communications with Sue Ruddick were actually of relevance – SNP chief executive Peter Murrell.
(Murrell being an employee of the party, NOT a member of the Scottish Government, a civil servant or a special adviser.)
Having never been part of a political party, an area where Wings lacks expertise is in understanding the nuts and bolts of their operation, and how a party’s rules can be used to usurp their members’ power. We’re delighted to have someone equipped to provide a valuable insight into how that’s happened to the SNP in the last two years.
The following line is still a definitive statement in the SNP constitution:
“National Conference is the supreme governing and policy-making body of the Party.”
But in practice it is no longer the case. The 2018 redraft of the constitution centralised power in the Leader and in the NEC. The party Leader has sole and total power over policy – both in the manifesto and in government – and the NEC has sole power over who represents the party and what they are allowed to say.
So in effect, since 2018 the party elite – not the membership – has ruled the SNP.
Something most people don’t know about the infamous Spanish Inquisition is that it was never the Catholic Church that actually executed heretics. Particularly if a prisoner had refused to confess their vile heresy even under torture, the Church instead handed them over to the “mercy” of the state to deliver their end.
So SNP MP Kirsty Blackman (or as we understand some are already calling her, “the Tiny Torquemada“) would have fitted right in with it.
Or more likely, they just wanted to try to bury all of their skeletons at once in a single giant avalanche of crookedness. But either way, enough is enough. Criminals accused of perjury don’t get to decide if they’ll answer for their lies or not.
The Fabiani committee has the power to compel witnesses to attend. They must now use that power without further delay, or they must call on the police to arrest the SNP’s chief executive immediately and drag him into an interview room by his ears if need be with a solicitor in attendance. (Doubtless also paid for by SNP members.)
Scotland is not GoodFellas. Nobody is above the law. Stop this damn rot now.
The reaction to it was absolutely explosive. Half of the Parliamentary SNP spent the whole night running around social media frantically firefighting their own members, who were absolutely furious about what they’d just discovered. Poisonous abuse from the party’s woke faction poured out like never before. We got called every kind of bigot under the sun by SNP officeholders.
(The article, of course, made no mention of any sort of bisexual people, Jewish people, trans people or women as a group, let alone actually being prejudiced against anyone. Ironically just about the only kind of prejudice that wasn’t alleged was ageism, possibly because it might have looked a smidge too ironic coming from a bunch of bedwetting children whose core ideological stance is that anyone over 29 is a Nazi.)
But there was one thing you DIDN’T read amid the torrents of hate.
You didn’t read anyone saying a single word of the post was untrue.
Mark Beggan on What Went On: “What’s the problem with GRC’s. It’s only a certificate. Swinney has a certificate that says he’s clever and we know…” Nov 30, 21:20
Dan on What Went On: “Trading Standards should be all over this misrepresentation of advertising of goods which is bordering on fruadulent activity. Terry’s Chocolate…” Nov 30, 21:03
Mark Beggan on What Went On: “They better check nothings missing from the church.” Nov 30, 21:00
Mac on What Went On: “Turks stab the Palestinians in the back…. shocker.” Nov 30, 21:00
robertkknight on What Went On: “Ah, so that’s why the Murrells christened the campervan “The Precious”. It all makes sense now.” Nov 30, 20:58
Mark Beggan on What Went On: “So Saint Godley of the Unfunny given a send off with a hundred choir boys and a fruit trifle. Smeagol…” Nov 30, 20:53
Carol Neill on What Went On: “I can’t link it ? Probably my fault” Nov 30, 20:23
Republicofscotland on What Went On: “Good to see that treacherous b*stard Swinney was booed at the Chiefs Memorial Service – the dirty b*stard had some…” Nov 30, 20:22
TURABDIN on What Went On: “Get hyper real guys… WW3 will start in Syria, rather soon. merry whatever..slàinte!” Nov 30, 20:19
Carol Neill on What Went On: “Thanks for that , I’d have liked to seen the booing of swinney but hey ho nice that Neil came…” Nov 30, 20:18
Robert Hughes on What Went On: “Yesterday’s ” evil Islamist terrorists ” magically become today’s ” brave freedom fighters ” . Such bottomless hypocrisy & ghoulish…” Nov 30, 20:15
Robert Matthews on What Went On: “Ask Martin Webster,he would know about that kind of thing.” Nov 30, 20:13
robertkknight on What Went On: “Ignore the ???????? The emoji doesn’t appear to appear 🙁” Nov 30, 19:59
robertkknight on What Went On: “Well said… Happy Saint Andrew’s Day ???????” Nov 30, 19:57
Republicofscotland on What Went On: “As thousands of Scots sleep on the streets – and thousands more Scots families sleep in low grade B&B’s due…” Nov 30, 19:57
Nae Need! on What Went On: “My last post disappeared into the ether, apparently without the aid of moderation. I will not waste my time attempting…” Nov 30, 19:57
Republicofscotland on What Went On: “Happy Saint Andrew’s Day its important that we comment on this day – it helps distinguish Scotland from the other…” Nov 30, 19:30
robertkknight on What Went On: “Yes… funnily enough.” Nov 30, 19:23
Republicofscotland on What Went On: “Two odious treacherous b*stards in attendance – the chief – Salmond must’ve been birlin in his grave, when these two…” Nov 30, 19:22
Republicofscotland on What Went On: “ The major terrorist attack on Aleppo – was coordinated between Turkish, YOU and French intelligence – with Is-helli support and…” Nov 30, 19:15
gregor on What Went On: “…And if you get fed-up of the Syrian conflict, violent BBC terrorist has kindly created a fire-bomb social media public…” Nov 30, 19:09
Nae Need! on What Went On: “Yip, I’m looking for substance too.” Nov 30, 19:08
Dan on What Went On: “Manifesto material for Scotland returning to self-governance continued… Terry’s of chocolate orange fame can get tae fuck with there scalloping…” Nov 30, 19:04
Nae Need! on What Went On: “Ooft, if looks could kill!! Was it Fergus that was up on the podium?” Nov 30, 18:52
gregor on What Went On: “While deplorable US Democrat War Regime claims AQ terrorist org as a war ally… Wikileaks: Hillary Clinton Email Archive: “AQ…” Nov 30, 18:49
gregor on What Went On: “Fake BBC News: Who are the rebels seizing control of Syria’s second city? https://archive.ph/lXHU4 In reality, BBC’s rebel freedom fighters…” Nov 30, 18:45
robertkknight on What Went On: “Some eejit cut out everything before Dougie MacLean, (what’s featured then loops) but check the fizzer on Swiney [sic] at…” Nov 30, 18:32
Nae Need! on What Went On: “Slightly off-topic to this particular piece, sorry Stu, but it’s not off-topic to the aims of Wings. “Westminster has no…” Nov 30, 18:18
auld highlander on What Went On: “Outside St Giles www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziHnBpzkS8k” Nov 30, 18:03
Breeks on What Went On: “Very poignant day with Alex Salmond, but thinking about it brought back a “goosebumps” memory. There’s a lyric in a…” Nov 30, 18:01