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Archive for the ‘apocalypse’


Unicorns over Cowcaddens 137

Posted on September 13, 2014 by

The below appears to be Magnus Gardham’s column in today’s Herald.

magnusg

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The neverending plague 247

Posted on September 03, 2014 by

From industry recruitment website oilandgaspeople.com today:

“Scotland could be sitting on more than double the amount of oil and gas reserves currently predicted, a new independent industry investigation has found. The investigation reveals that the scale of Scotland’s untapped frontier West Coast or Atlantic Margin has been underestimated.

The investigation was undertaken by oilandgaspeople.com, the world’s largest oil and gas industry jobs board, and independent North Sea oil and gas industry experts. The investigation included interviews with industry experts and collated seismic and expert evidence from a range of independent sources such as the British Geological Survey, DECC, oil and gas companies, the Institute of Petroleum Engineering and the  Energy Institute.

The findings show that the current predictions of extensive untapped reserves of oil and gas could be underestimated by 100%. The West Coast alone could provide oil and gas for at least 100 years with an estimated value of more than £1 trillion.”

Another 100 years? A trillion pounds? When will this curse be lifted from Scotland?

Younger leopard, same spots 161

Posted on July 28, 2014 by

Our “Better Together” mole has just leaked us this exclusive extract from a new cinema advert with a re-imaged Alistair Darling listing the consequences of a Yes vote.

It’s really from the 1981 Labour conference, of course. But it’s fascinating to note that while the No camp leader’s politics may have softened somewhat over the intervening 33 years, his modus operandi hasn’t changed a bit.

The chocolate teapot 110

Posted on July 28, 2014 by

The UK Trident programme encompasses the development, procurement and operation of the current generation of British nuclear weapons, and the means to deliver them. It was announced in July 1980 and patrols began in December 1994. Its stated purpose is to provide “the minimum effective nuclear deterrent as the ultimate means to deter the most extreme threat”.

It has also been described by former Vulcan squadron commander (the UK’s original nuclear deterrent) and current vice-president of CND, Air Commodore Alastair Mackie, as Britain’s “stick-on hairy chest”.

choctea1

And yet other than “We should/shouldn’t get rid of it”, it’s rarely the subject of any serious debate or investigation. And as it’s the summer close season for politics, this seemed like a good time.

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The cataclysm continues 247

Posted on July 10, 2014 by

Only our very alertest readers are likely to recall our first brush with Azeem Ibrahim of the “Scotland Institute”, a right-wing think tank which recently came up with a report on an independent Scotland’s debt that was picked up by some of the less discerning newspapers but which we ignored for being too boring.

ibrahimageddon

And we must concede fair play to the eternally attention-seeking Mr Ibrahim, because he’s come storming right back with something altogether livelier.

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To punch above our weight 211

Posted on July 07, 2014 by

Earlier today we referred to a story from the Sunday Times, picked up by some of the tabloids this morning, about how Scotland manager Jock Stein tried to cancel a World Cup scouting trip to New Zealand in 1982 in a panic because he feared that Margaret Thatcher was about to start a nuclear war over the Falklands.

hiroshima

It seems remiss not to note a chilling passage from the original ST piece.

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Map Ref. 55°N 5°W 295

Posted on July 02, 2014 by

About 11 minutes and 30 seconds into last night’s Scotland 2014, Labour MP Gemma Doyle repeated one of the strangest arguments Labour use against independence. Having first denied that she’d ever seen any polls suggesting that the people of Scotland wanted to get rid of the Trident nuclear weapons system, she then fell back on the curious but much-used Labour line that getting rid of it would only move it “100 miles or so down the road”, and therefore be pointless.

There are all sorts of glaringly obvious flaws in that argument. One is the de facto case that the UK actually has nowhere else it can put Trident, and therefore if Scotland expels it the rUK will become a non-nuclear-weapons state by default.

The second is that even if there was somewhere for it to go, Scotland still wouldn’t be paying for it any more, which would be a huge benefit to the Scottish budget and a pretty good reason entirely aside from the moral and safety issues.

tridentmap

And the third is that Gemma Doyle doesn’t appear to know where England is.

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This is not a spoof 180

Posted on May 16, 2014 by

We have not made this story up. It’s not the work of BBC Scotlandshire.

bbcoil5yrs

Just casually, there, beneath an unassuming, innocuous headline. No big deal.

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Bring me sunshine 112

Posted on April 24, 2014 by

Remember how the No campaign was definitely going to be much more positive from now on, pushing a feelgood “sunshine strategy” to persuade Scots that the UK was the best of both worlds?

gethurt

Let’s see how that’s going, shall we?

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Expressway To Fear 193

Posted on February 21, 2014 by

DOOM!

“Blair Stewart, head of the company’s Edinburgh Residential Department, said: ‘Going by the current movement in property market, I should think there will be a three to five per cent growth in the £300,000 to £800,000 bracket and the £1million-plus will remain static.

I am expecting a slowdown as we near the referendum with buyers adopting a ‘wait and see’ attitude.'”

GLOOM!

“Delaying introduction of average speed cameras on the A9 until after the referendum has been branded a ploy to avoid an anti-independence backlash.”

We’re not sure we can take many more blows like this.

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Natpocalypse now 69

Posted on December 17, 2013 by

We enjoyed this satirical piece on Buzzfeed today picturing how various world media outlets would handle the end of civilisation via a double meteor strike/zombie virus catastrophe. We’ve pinched some of their UK examples for illustrative purposes, and added a couple of our own at the end.

zombieguardian

Have a go! It’s easy* and fun!

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Welcome to the debate 250

Posted on November 27, 2013 by

Dear Yes Scotland,

Please immediately contact Channel 5 and ask them how much they want for this:

Pay any price they ask, and show it on September 17th. 100% Yes, in the bag.

(Download links 1 and 2.)

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    • Aidan on The quality of mercy: “When did this recession occur which knocked 30% off the value of the Scottish economy to give a $200bn dollar…Apr 8, 17:00
    • Alf Baird on The quality of mercy: “Three hunner year o colonial oppression does result in a certain pathology, Sven, whereby theday almost half o Scots still…Apr 8, 16:25
    • Alf Baird on The quality of mercy: ““Ireland (no oil), Norway (oil), Switzerland (banking) have GDPs in the range of 600-800B USD. Ours is 200B USD. Liechtenstein…Apr 8, 16:16
    • James on The quality of mercy: “The water shortage headline reads “Britain” then the article reads “England”. Funny that, eh? Oh, and aren’t house Yoons Wilma…Apr 8, 15:58
    • Cynicus on The quality of mercy: “TURABDIN says: 6 April, 2026 at 4:56 pm From WIKI:?«The earliest use of the term appears in 1507, when King…Apr 8, 15:18
    • Northcode on The quality of mercy: “Due to the proliferation of mindless, illiterate and ill-informed pish scribbled doun in this place by colonialists (unionists if preferred……Apr 8, 14:52
    • Sven on The quality of mercy: “Mark Beggan @ 14.11. Mot a country of deranged morons … more a devolved administration of deranged morons elected under…Apr 8, 14:29
    • Northcode on The quality of mercy: “Nae ither folk bar the Scots thersels hae the nous, the knawledge or the experiens o mony generaciouns, tae unnerstaun…Apr 8, 14:14
    • Confused on The quality of mercy: “Reality check time. The only relevant benchmark for Scotland’s ECONOMIC POTENTIAL is with our small nation peers, most of whom…Apr 8, 14:12
    • Mark Beggan on The quality of mercy: “Never mind the oil. The world sees Scotland as a Lady Boy. A country of very confused, weak and deranged…Apr 8, 14:11
    • Confused on The quality of mercy: “they just won’t give it a fucking rest, will they – frog face weighing in https://archive.ph/cHiZ4 – but, but -…Apr 8, 14:09
    • Aidan on The quality of mercy: “Well if it’s all been done before, why are you so utterly clueless about it and posting (in that last…Apr 8, 13:38
    • Dan on The quality of mercy: “Ooh, an lse report… oh aye, this had been done to death long before Johnny come lately Aidan turned up.…Apr 8, 13:11
    • Aidan on The quality of mercy: “Do you have a link to those figures “James”, since I can’t find them anywhere. What I can find is…Apr 8, 12:52
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The quality of mercy: “BANNED DOCUMENTARY ON SCOTTISH OIL (The McCrone Report) « Tha paipeirean oifigeil a bha dìomhair ach a-nis air am fosgladh,…Apr 8, 12:49
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The quality of mercy: “McCRONE REPORT – Scotland’s Hidden Oil Wealth « In 1974 the Tory government under Edward Heath commissioned a report by…Apr 8, 12:42
    • Captain Caveman on The quality of mercy: “Well, I guess you had better start rummaging that amongst that great big steaming pile of unwashed kecks, empty beer…Apr 8, 12:32
    • Alf Baird on The quality of mercy: “Names are names, colonial plunder is colonial plunder. Whaur’s oor oil money, an for aw else tae, ower the past…Apr 8, 12:06
    • James on The quality of mercy: ““According to 2013 figures from Fraser Of Allander Institute economist Brian Ashcroft – husband of former Scottish Labour leader Wendy…Apr 8, 11:58
    • Captain Caveman on The quality of mercy: “““As of April 7, 2026, oil prices are high and volatile due to supply concerns, with global benchmark Brent Crude…Apr 8, 11:54
    • James on The quality of mercy: “Apt coincidence though, eh? Doncha think, “Agent”?Apr 8, 11:53
    • Captain Caveman on The quality of mercy: ““Is it down to lack of means, or is it a tactic acknowledgement that deep down they know the money…Apr 8, 11:46
    • agentx on The quality of mercy: “@ james “Shell initially named all of its UK oil fields after seabirds in alphabetical order by discovery – Auk,…Apr 8, 11:27
    • Aidan on The quality of mercy: “@James – don’t start having a massive tantrum because you’ve been made to look stupid by your own lack of…Apr 8, 11:25
    • Captain Caveman on The quality of mercy: “Oh dear. “Eight Ace” is triggered again. 😀Apr 8, 11:01
    • James on The quality of mercy: “Our thieving southern neighbours started taking the piss as soon as the stuff was discovered. “An oilfield? In Scotch waters?…Apr 8, 10:48
    • Cynicus on The quality of mercy: “TACOApr 8, 10:43
    • James on The quality of mercy: ““UK” “government” giving oil drilling licences out for free then? F*** off the pair of you. Supercillious charlatans.Apr 8, 10:42
    • Captain Caveman on The quality of mercy: “@Aidan An interesting question to pose to your (ahem) “detractors”, Fatso, Rambo and “Geri” (in whatever applicable currency in his…Apr 8, 10:26
    • Dan on The quality of mercy: “https://wingsoverscotland.com/junkies-tramps-and-thieves/#more-87705Apr 8, 08:53
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