Warning: despite the quite zingy title this is actually going to be a very dry stats post, readers. It is, on the other hand, based on a man having something disturbingly close to a complete psychotic mental breakdown, so there’s always that for a bit of colour.
Because the paragraph above, and in particular the highlighted part, is without a doubt the most dishonest, diametrically false and wildly extreme lie about Scottish politics that we’ve ever seen anyone tell in the 13.5 years of Wings Over Scotland’s existence.
And as a rule we don’t bother addressing them because they’re so demented you could spend 5,000 words pulling apart all the individual strands of lunacy every time, and lunatics thrive on attention, but this one does merit a very brief comment.
Because “Vote Labour, get indy” wasn’t our plan. It was John Swinney’s.
Even by the embarrassing standards of The National, the gulf between this morning’s blaring front-page splash and the weak, watery weasel words in the actual article is a chasm so wide and so yawning (in every sense of that word) that it would put the epic planetary scar of Mars’ Valles Marineris to shame.
Coupled with a feebly underwhelming Programme For Government (in which the main policy was the re-abolition of peak rail fares just months after the SNP insisted such a move was unaffordable, with no clue as to where the money had suddenly been found) and a pitiful list of candidates for next year’s Holyrood election featuring the likes of Sally “all aboard the gravy bus!” Donald, Kaukab “DECAPITATE TERFS” Stewart, Kirsten “DECAPITATE TERFS” Oswald, Alison “DECAPITATE TERFS” Thewliss and Alyn “throw anyone who doesn’t want to DECAPITATE TERFS out of the SNP” Smith, the story was an abject vision of a bleak future for independence.
The less said about the Scottish Government’s toe-curlingly embarrassing “summit” last week, the sooner we can all pretend it never happened. We’ve got little to add to the withering assessments of Robin McAlpine and Kevin McKenna and just about everyone else who’s bothered covering this pathetic waste of everyone involved’s time. (Not that the time of most of these useless quangocrats was worth anything anyway.)
We take a moment only to note something remarkable: the closest Scottish Labour’s hapless branch manager Anas Sarwar has ever come to understanding anything.
Yesterday the Scottish media gave Scottish Greens MSP Maggie Chapman what she’s never willingly given anyone else – a platform on which to make her case.
Most did a very poor job challenging her on her outrageous comments about the Supreme Court, with BBC Radio Scotland’s Drivetime show being an especially wretched example of allowing the interviewee to ignore every question and then just ramble on endlessly about something else entirely, but LBC’s Gina Davidson was on top of her brief and put all the points that reasonable people wanted to be made, while giving Chapman ample time to answer uninterrupted.
Let’s break down how that went, with the help of our handy Bullshit Buzzer.
We’ll be honest, readers, we gasped out loud when we saw this.
That such a basic, fundamental truth of human existence should ever be front page news with the capacity to shock 100,000 years after we invented language is a sign of just how insane our world has become since 2015.
But magnificent as it is, it’s not even today’s BEST front cover.
For those among you who don’t have the time or patience to wade through 88 pages of judicial lingo, we’ve distilled today’s Supreme Court judgment down to its key points.
Much of it, of course, can be summarised as “the bleeding obvious”.
Because you certainly are a bit light-headed if you’re buying this horse-plop.
We don’t normally spend much time analysing opinion polls more than a year out from an election because it’s a complete chump’s game – too much can happen. But this one’s so absolutely batshit mad that we couldn’t resist a bit of a probe.
Rob on The View From Row Z: “We had a chance to change things just a few weeks ago, the largest party is still the SNP and…” Jun 1, 21:00
Ian Smith on The View From Row Z: “Murrell was given legal aid because all his assets were frozen.” Jun 1, 20:55
gm on The View From Row Z: “I take it back, it appears to be perfectly normal for a KC to defend someone on legal aid. The…” Jun 1, 20:20
agentx on The View From Row Z: “Well your coalface acquaintance with decades of experience at the coal face of Scottish Criminal Justice, knows sfa. Murrell pleaded…” Jun 1, 20:08
Alf Baird on The View From Row Z: ““The mists are parting – it’s all becoming clear” Indeed, Uk***ne’s national elite opted to sacrifice their people and nation…” Jun 1, 19:49
Hatey McHateface on The View From Row Z: ““She is, of course, a nobody in England” Only, she’s not, just as she’s not a nobody in Scotland either.…” Jun 1, 19:23
gm on The View From Row Z: “I have no idea how it came about, what the rules are or whether it is the luck of the…” Jun 1, 19:22
Hatey McHateface on The View From Row Z: “Believe this or not. An acquaintance of mine, someone with decades of experience at the coal face of Scottish Criminal…” Jun 1, 19:13
Hatey McHateface on The View From Row Z: “I think I’m starting to see it, Alf. The mists are parting – it’s all becoming clear. Despite the complete…” Jun 1, 18:43
Hatey McHateface on The View From Row Z: “You leave your helmet alone, Wally W. If there was any justice in this world, you’d have long since gone…” Jun 1, 18:31
agentx on The View From Row Z: “Who exactly granted legal aid for Murrell when all we have been told is that he was rich enough to…” Jun 1, 17:49
agentx on The View From Row Z: “sorry – that “?” character should have been a tick. (Don’t know why it was not recognises as such)” Jun 1, 17:26
agentx on The View From Row Z: “He is incorrectly called a solicitor – he is in fact a senior counsel at the Scottish Criminal Bar. (Barrister)” Jun 1, 17:24
J Robertson on The View From Row Z: “Absolutely Ian . I would have hoped Kuenssberg would have called her out on her abject failure to discharge her…” Jun 1, 17:08
agentx on The View From Row Z: “Don’t forget Murrell is back in court tomorrow 2 Jun: “for a “narrative hearing” because the legal teams on both…” Jun 1, 16:49
Young Lochinvar on The View From Row Z: “Check out on YouTube; Nicola Sturgeons woes meets Gordon Browns cave. :-). 🙂” Jun 1, 16:46
Young Lochinvar on The View From Row Z: “Just read the most recent revelation in the Murrell Collection; 100+ toilet rolls bought just before Tricky Nicky (during early…” Jun 1, 16:18
Confused on The View From Row Z: “I think Peter Murrell always was a “patsy”, a “useful idiot”, first up, a convenient “beard” to hide that nikki…” Jun 1, 15:47
James on The View From Row Z: “Aye, Northy is a Pict….. And you’re a….”prick”. Wear your helmet with pride.” Jun 1, 15:17
Colin Alexander on The View From Row Z: “It may not (?) be a criminal offence for the SNP to spend indyref “ringfenced” money on other things. Criminal…” Jun 1, 15:05
agentx on The View From Row Z: ““You know how it is. You wake up and look out the bedroom window. You see a brand new Jaguar…” Jun 1, 14:59
Owen Mullions on The View From Row Z: “https://youtube.com/shorts/dorL_ib1_sc?si=XuCGCs2Y79v8b8Cy” Jun 1, 14:23
Alf Baird on The View From Row Z: ““they’re a bunch of crooks, spivs and chancers” Yes, as Fanon reminds us, a co-opted national party elite ‘behaves like…” Jun 1, 14:22
Luigi on The View From Row Z: “Och, don’t be too harsh on them. They are grieving, still in the denial phase. In their wee ginger bubble,…” Jun 1, 14:20
Dick Wall on The View From Row Z: ““Scotland owes him a debt”says The Daily Sceptic. I agree wholeheartedly. It is always instructive to ask yourself “Do you…” Jun 1, 14:18
Cringe on The View From Row Z: “55 minute version here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0np7qln” Jun 1, 13:53
Hatey McHateface on The View From Row Z: “Where you see “co-opted by colonialism”, Alf, I see “unfitted, morally and intellectually, to run an Independent Scotland”. Occam’s Razor…” Jun 1, 13:32
