One of the very few phrases universally recognised in Scotland but which will draw blank looks anywhere else in the UK is the dry, dark “Well, ye ken noo”. Until recently it had no equivalent that we can bring to mind in the rest of the English-speaking world, although arguably that gap has now been at least partly filled by the acronym “FAFO”.
(We try not to swear on the site, so let’s say it stands for “Fool Around, Find Out”.)
So now the smoke has cleared, the troops have departed the battlefield and the winner is enjoying the spoils, what did we find out on Thursday night, and what didn’t we?
We must admit, we don’t quite get what the Daily Record is trying to achieve.
Having already told its dwindling band of readers that voting for both the SNP and Labour is the only way to stop Reform in today’s Hamilton by-election, for the last two days it’s deployed some random loony in a hard hat and the vegan former Rangers captain Graeme Souness to the same ostensible end.
Souness, famously a supporter of Margaret Thatcher and the Conservatives, tells Record readers today that they must vote Labour in order to prevent Thatcher’s right-wing heirs from winning the seat – even though Labour are dead, plucked, stuffed and cooked geese in the eyes of the bookmakers and voting for them only increases the chances of both Reform AND the SNP.
And this is what they say elsewhere, when they think nobody in Scotland is looking:
One day someone’s going to tell them about the internet, and our life’s going to get a lot more difficult. Until that day, though, let’s just enjoy the laughs.
If you’ve been reading Scottish social media or the Scottish press for the last year and a half or so, the following graph is going to come as a bit of a shock to you.
We’ve just taken delivery of some REALLY interesting polling results, readers, but it’s going to take a while to fully analyse and write them up, so in the meantime let’s look at some slightly less interesting ones which came from the same poll – the Norstat one commissioned by the Sunday Times and published today, which we hitched a lift on.
The headline figures show an eight-point Yes lead, which is nice, although it’s also entirely abstract since the SNP has no current policy for translating independence support into actual independence (or even another referendum about it).
All the same, it seemed a good time to assess the wider picture.
If you’re a fan of lazy, superficial political analysis from the mentally unwell, you might have read this week about John Swinney’s great strategic triumph of having “coaxed” an “endorsement” out of the Daily Record for Thursday’s by-election in Hamilton.
And if so, you might be forgiven for thinking that that analysis looks pretty stupid now.
(Holiday Boy is still jetting his way around the globe, and indeed will be for the next few weeks, so in the absence of cartoons what else can we do but look at comics?)
But what, if anything, do those front pages tell us?
Alert readers will be familiar with this site’s ongoing quest for an explanation as to why controversy-plagued charity LGBT Youth Scotland continues to operate in dozens of Scottish primary and even nursery schools, pushing gender ideology onto children as young as four despite only having a remit to support 13-25-year-olds.
Last month we were, to coin a phrase, stonewalled by Scotland’s charity regulator, the OSCR, but we filed a review request and today we received – a couple of weeks past the deadline – a response.
The entire Scottish media and professional-politician community is currently in a self-righteous froth about a campaign ad being run by Reform for the Hamilton by-election targeting Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar.
Obviously none of the acres of press coverage trusts voters to see the ad and decide for themselves, because that simply isn’t how journalism works nowadays. You’re told that a bad thing happened – whether it be a campaign ad, a comedian’s joke or the supposed terrible abuse sent to a celebrity – and how outraged various pundits or other celebrities are about it, with the clear implication that you should feel the same, but you almost never get shown or told what was actually said.
So to start with, as a basic journalistic principle, here’s the ad itself in its entirety.
Now let’s look at what you’re being ordered to think about it.
BLMac on The Guilty Party: “Don’t worry full exposure will happen shortly, but maybe not in the way you seek… https://www.awarenessdays.com/awareness-days-calendar/national-nude-day/” Jun 26, 00:12
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “AI Dun No clues are given to whose eyes yer trying to scratch out with that rant, but, in the…” Jun 26, 00:09
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “HMcH HE’S back and projecting, deflecting and plain making things up “Smaug stylee”.. Yes it’s the bond of military brotherhood…” Jun 25, 23:32
Aidan on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Right, so you’re going to sit there, with a straight face, and tell us that you aren’t a ranting loon?…” Jun 25, 23:25
Alf Baird on The Guilty Party: “Fearghas’ logic follows the postcolonial reality, Hatey, where two main population shifts may be anticipated: 1. their privileges ended, the…” Jun 25, 22:45
Ian Smith on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “You can be 99.999% sure that there will never be a defamation case that puts Sturgeon in the witness box…” Jun 25, 22:16
Colin Dawson on The Guilty Party: “How many of those who attended that NEC meeting were elected as supposedly “Good Guys” at the 2020 conference and…” Jun 25, 22:12
Red on The Guilty Party: “I want my country back and I want these people gone.” Jun 25, 22:05
James Barr Gardner on The Guilty Party: “The Police did not interview me at all strange seeing as I was the only one who went public about…” Jun 25, 21:54
Hatey McHateface on The Guilty Party: “A rare departure from common sense for you, Fearghas. I won’t be exhilarated post Indy by a flood of chancers,…” Jun 25, 21:02
Hatey McHateface on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Just noticed some odd posts from somebody who tells us he voluntarily signed up, first chance he got, to be…” Jun 25, 20:55
Hatey McHateface on The Guilty Party: “World Hijab Day. I’m beyond outraged that nae cant telt me.” Jun 25, 20:25
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Guilty Party: “One could fairly assume Scottish independence would have triggered the exhilarating return of very many highly able exiles – rather…” Jun 25, 20:22
agentx on The Guilty Party: “I have said it before and I will say it again:False accounts were submitted to the Electoral Commission. The Electoral…” Jun 25, 20:07
Spartan 117 on The Guilty Party: “I don’t think any bullet was dodged, after Alex’s resignation we ended up with The Murrills and their misanthropic posse…” Jun 25, 19:48
Spartan 117 on The Guilty Party: “A pretty damning dissection of this murky business. Interested to note an ex-leader of Highland Council in the middle of…” Jun 25, 19:46
MP on The Guilty Party: “I suspect they’re hanging on and hoping that Murrell repays a good chunk of the money, and then they’ll say,…” Jun 25, 19:41
sarah on The Guilty Party: “@ wullie: if we had actually managed to leave the Union in 2014 – remember that it was only an…” Jun 25, 19:33
SOG on The Guilty Party: “In my career I became a Fellow of a Professional Body, which has rules about obligation of probity to employers…” Jun 25, 19:28
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “See also Christian Institute News Release (Thursday, 25 June 2026): “Government Unveils Controversial ‘Conversion Therapy Ban’ Draft Bill Amid Renewed…” Jun 25, 19:26
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Er you go, right on cue two bleats from The Banter Boys no.2, (yawn BTW), just waiting now for Banter…” Jun 25, 19:16
Captain Caveman on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““it would all have blown over by now.” What would’ve “blown over”? The imaginary voices in your head, presumably? The…” Jun 25, 18:54
Captain Caveman on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““You and Hatey start posting in the morning at exactly the same time” Heh! Big difference between 7am and 3am…” Jun 25, 18:49
wullie on The Guilty Party: “With that caliber of people in politics I think we dogged bullet IN 2014. I want my money back ,years…” Jun 25, 18:41
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Guilty Party: “Thank you Revd Stuart Campbell for this further sure-footed step forward through the dense mine-field surrounding Sturgeon. Thank you Allison…” Jun 25, 18:30
Stephen on Pandora’s Campervan: “I thought of that but didn’t fancy it. How would the scheme work? Buy the CV for £100k, mark it…” Jun 25, 18:28
Moray Neep on The Guilty Party: “Not forgetting Laura Mitchell who was one of the first to support Ian Cockburn’s comments. She’s now SNP MSP for…” Jun 25, 18:18
barelybare on The Guilty Party: “Sturgeon was SNP leader all through the time of the indyref fundraising campaign and the money’s disappearance into SNP general…” Jun 25, 18:10
Sandy on The Guilty Party: “Absolutely first class reporting, again. Should be made required reading by the Scottish press and anyone who believes in Scotland” Jun 25, 17:48
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “CC @ 6.48am Aw slaphead, you wound me! I’ll survive. 🙂 Anyway do you, you know, kip down with Hatey…” Jun 25, 17:42