And as a rule we don’t bother addressing them because they’re so demented you could spend 5,000 words pulling apart all the individual strands of lunacy every time, and lunatics thrive on attention, but this one does merit a very brief comment.
Because “Vote Labour, get indy” wasn’t our plan. It was John Swinney’s.
Even by the embarrassing standards of The National, the gulf between this morning’s blaring front-page splash and the weak, watery weasel words in the actual article is a chasm so wide and so yawning (in every sense of that word) that it would put the epic planetary scar of Mars’ Valles Marineris to shame.
Coupled with a feebly underwhelming Programme For Government (in which the main policy was the re-abolition of peak rail fares just months after the SNP insisted such a move was unaffordable, with no clue as to where the money had suddenly been found) and a pitiful list of candidates for next year’s Holyrood election featuring the likes of Sally “all aboard the gravy bus!” Donald, Kaukab “DECAPITATE TERFS” Stewart, Kirsten “DECAPITATE TERFS” Oswald, Alison “DECAPITATE TERFS” Thewliss and Alyn “throw anyone who doesn’t want to DECAPITATE TERFS out of the SNP” Smith, the story was an abject vision of a bleak future for independence.
On reflection, we feel we may have not taken this story seriously enough. After all, they don’t put just ANY old guff on the front page of the Sunday Mail.
The less said about the Scottish Government’s toe-curlingly embarrassing “summit” last week, the sooner we can all pretend it never happened. We’ve got little to add to the withering assessments of Robin McAlpine and Kevin McKenna and just about everyone else who’s bothered covering this pathetic waste of everyone involved’s time. (Not that the time of most of these useless quangocrats was worth anything anyway.)
We take a moment only to note something remarkable: the closest Scottish Labour’s hapless branch manager Anas Sarwar has ever come to understanding anything.
Yesterday the Scottish media gave Scottish Greens MSP Maggie Chapman what she’s never willingly given anyone else – a platform on which to make her case.
Most did a very poor job challenging her on her outrageous comments about the Supreme Court, with BBC Radio Scotland’s Drivetime show being an especially wretched example of allowing the interviewee to ignore every question and then just ramble on endlessly about something else entirely, but LBC’s Gina Davidson was on top of her brief and put all the points that reasonable people wanted to be made, while giving Chapman ample time to answer uninterrupted.
Let’s break down how that went, with the help of our handy Bullshit Buzzer.
At the weekend, Scottish Greens MSP Maggie Chapman was filmed applauding as a notoriously unhinged transactivist ranted through a megaphone to a small and almost exclusively male crowd of protestors about how he was going to openly break the law by continuing to use women’s public toilets, and addressing JK Rowling with the words “We should all take a shite on you, you heinous creeping old bitch”.
At another protest, Chapman herself asserted that the Supreme Court’s unanimous ruling on the correct interpretation of the Equality Act 2010 was motivated by not by a solemn consideration of the law or by the arguments of counsel who appeared before it, but by “bigotry, prejudice and hatred”.
Chapman is – incredibly – Deputy Convener of the Equalities, Human Rights and Civil Justice Committee of the Scottish Parliament, and as such her comments sparked a storm of wholly justified outrage over her flagrant breach not only of Parliamentary rules but also of the law – specifically the Judiciary and Courts (Scotland) Act 2008, which requires all MSPs to uphold the independence of the judiciary.
Regular readers of Wings won’t need any reminding that Dani Garavelli of the Herald is, among some very stiff competition, one of the most contemptible pieces of nightsoil currently operating in the Scottish media.
But if you’re new here, we can give you a quick illustration.
If the sneering piety of that opening paragraph made you feel a little revolted, a bit angry and somewhat nauseous, then congratulations, because that means you’re still something minimally approximating to a decent human being. But unfortunately it gets a lot worse from there.
Scottish Greens candidate and transactivist Matt “Ellie” Gomersall, with whom Wings readers will be familiar, appeared on the Jeremy Vine show today and blundered straight into an elephant trap a myopic mole could have seen coming on a foggy night.
Having just embarked on a diatribe in which he dismissed as “ridiculous” the idea that predatory men would ever pretend to be transwomen to gain access to vulnerable women, Vine asked him about Adam “Isla Bryson” Graham, the convicted double rapist that even hapless Humza Yousaf felt able to confidently assert was “at it”.
Having just painted himself into a corner, Gomersall was then embarrassingly unable to disown Bryson as a “real” transwoman, thereby implicitly admitting that transwomen do indeed present a danger to women in exactly the same way that predatory men do, and torpedoing his entire core point that it was unfair to “discriminate” against them in exactly the same way single-sex spaces discriminate against non-trans men.
(Outrageously, earlier in the speech he’d tried to claim that it was only natural that some transwomen would be sex offenders because some biological women were.)
It’s tempting to believe that Gomersall was demonstrating an intellectual vacuum by making such vacuously cretinous arguments and failing to spot even the most obvious pitfalls in them, but the truth is far worse. Gomersall, and people like him, know that they’re lying (which is why they always try to silence opponents), but they lack the moral courage to face up to the fact that the inevitable price of their lies is vulnerable women being raped by what he revoltingly waves away as “fringe cases”.
All rapists are fringe cases. 95% of men would never dream of raping anyone. But we discriminate against ALL men in women’s spaces because you can’t tell which ones are rapists by looking. Men like “Ellie” Gomersall, though, think that the price of a few women being raped is worth paying to validate their delusions and fetishes (in his case, the creepy fetish of skinwalking as his pretty sister), and they don’t even have the shred of decency to bother coming up with a coherent line of bullshit to cover it.
Young Lochinvar on Pick Your Poison: “Geri Strangely fitting.. The “gayest wee Parliament” in the world will transition to be the “queerest wee Parliament in the…” May 9, 01:58
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “I hope Cowardly John draws the short straw & has to inform them it’s the LAW that they use the…” May 9, 01:43
Young Lochinvar on Pick Your Poison: “Sarah But, but.. Anne Thewliss burst into tears! Again.. And anyway, back in the day they used to say the…” May 9, 01:33
Cynicus on Pick Your Poison: “Final results for Highlands and Islands: Vic Currie (Reform) Ariane Burgess (Scottish Greens) Tim Eagle (Conservative) Max Barrowman (Reform) Morven-May…” May 9, 01:28
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “Can they not count? Why do they always have issues? According to X reporter – there were four counts at…” May 9, 01:27
GM on Pick Your Poison: “Interesting question. We’ll see how the Holyrood ladies deal with it.” May 9, 01:24
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “It gets worse Lorna… Allegedly, one has a crowd funder cause they don’t have a work visa (WTF?) & the…” May 9, 01:04
Confused on Pick Your Poison: “I see some foreign p00f on a student visa has gotten elected to the Scots parliament; I wonder how he…” May 9, 00:56
Cynicus on Pick Your Poison: ““ Is no-one else annoyed and embarrassed that 26 hrs after the polls closed the final results still haven’t been…” May 9, 00:53
Young Lochinvar on Pick Your Poison: “Oh well.. Hey ho! That’s that then for some more years.. “Honest” John has got what he “really” wanted all…” May 9, 00:53
L.U.T.B on Pick Your Poison: “Christ on a bike! Is no-one else annoyed and embarrassed that 26 hrs after the polls closed the final results…” May 9, 00:27
Big Jock on Pick Your Poison: “I don’t think any of us can take another 5 years of this sand dancing. It is like trying to…” May 9, 00:13
GM on Pick Your Poison: “I hope the lady takes the Scot gov. to the cleaners. It is the only thing that will shift them,…” May 9, 00:08
Cynicus on Pick Your Poison: “sarah says: 8 May, 2026 at 10:22 pm “This is now officially the worst set of MSPs we have been…” May 9, 00:02
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Pick Your Poison: “EX-GOVERNOR: ‘STOP HOUSING MEN IN SCOTLAND’S PRISONS FOR WOMEN’ All men who identify as women should be immediately removed from…” May 8, 23:41
Lorncal on Pick Your Poison: “The thing is, Aidan/Caveman, everything has to be tried before you go for broke. It’s like the wee boy or…” May 8, 23:09
GM on Pick Your Poison: “A court case might stir things up a bit. I suspect Scotland (does it still exist at Holyrood?) is too…” May 8, 23:06
Lorncal on Pick Your Poison: “Every silver lining has a cloud, Geri, and the Greens’ cloud – hopefully as black as the Earl of Hell’s…” May 8, 22:39
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Pick Your Poison: “Beannachd leat, a Sheumais. Piseach ort! (Blessings/ Good-bye, James. All the best!)” May 8, 22:33
Lorncal on Pick Your Poison: “I know. It’s the same everywhere. It will be around three-quarters to a million votes lost to Unionists and the…” May 8, 22:29
sarah on Pick Your Poison: “This is now officially the worst set of MSPs we have been cursed with. Is there a single one with…” May 8, 22:22
James Che on Pick Your Poison: “I will say goodby to everyone on wings over Scotland, and to Rev Stu for many years providing information, stats,…” May 8, 22:14
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “SNP wasted regional votes in my area around 88,000. Seats 0 Reform – around 59,000. Seats 3. #@#@#” May 8, 21:50
robertkknight on Pick Your Poison: ““Izzie says: 8 May, 2026 at 5:43 pm Well it looks like we (SNP) have won. But Im not hete…” May 8, 21:46
red sunset on Pick Your Poison: “A good number of constituencies below 50% turnout, typical seems to be around 55% turnout” May 8, 21:14
SilentMajority on Pick Your Poison: “What an absolute shower of embarrassments we now have ‘in power’…” May 8, 21:09
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “53.2% https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election/2026/scotland/results” May 8, 21:07