It’s been impossible to know where to start today. Last night hundreds of angry protestors picketed a £200-a-seat banquet in Glasgow at which Scottish Labour “showcase[d] the party in front of donors and business figures”in a desperate bid to raise cash for the branch office (which survives on handouts from the UK party), and at which deputy leader Anas Sarwar, less than 48 hours after vowing he’d remain in his position, announced that he’d step down after all.
Despite being the deputy, Sarwar wasn’t stepping down to contest the leadership, but rather to smooth the path of Jim Murphy. Murphy is London’s preferred candidate, but even Labour aren’t dim enough to want to run Holyrood with London-based MPs in BOTH of the leadership roles, so Sarwar pulled a swift U-turn to offer a potential “dream ticket” of Murphy and Kezia Dugdale, a Lothians list MSP who this week told the Edinburgh Evening News that she intends to leave politics within 10 years.
(Then again, in 2011 Jim Murphy told Labour List he wouldn’t consider running for Scottish leader for “maybe 20 years” and he’s only waited three, so who knows?)
The first full-size Scottish opinion poll on 2015 Westminster voting intentions after this disastrous routing’s probably going to be a sore one for the Nats, then.
Jim Murphy has finally announced that he’ll stand for the leadership of the Scottish branch office of the UK Labour Party. Tonight he told the Daily Record that:
“I am not going to shout at or about the SNP, I am going to talk to and listen to Scotland.”
For any of you who might have forgotten, here’s some recent footage of how Jim listens to Scotland and avoids shouting about the SNP:
Scottish Labour now has a leadership contest, with the (relatively) left-wing MSP Neil Findlay throwing his hat into the ring with that of colleague Sarah Boyack (assuming both can secure the necessary 10 nominations from M/S/EPs).
We thought we’d help him tidy up his press statement on the matter, as he appears to have accidentally left a few words out.
This is how it begins. This morning’s media reports a call from First Minister-elect Nicola Sturgeon that any future referendum on the UK’s membership of the EU should be subject to a veto from all four constituent nations – that is, if the UK as a whole votes to leave but either England, Scotland, Northern Ireland or Wales vote to stay in, the result is null and void.
It’s an extremely clever move. While none of the main three Westminster parties actually WANT to leave the EU and would love to go along with such a plan, public opinion in England will not allow any of them to back it. There would be a massive outcry, and quite legitimately so – Scotland, people would reasonably say, just voted that it wanted to remain part of the UK, and therefore must accept UK decisions.
And with that, the die is cast and the door opens.
It seems the Daily Record has taken something of a sulk at our post of earlier today. This evening the paper’s editor Murray Foote issued this statement on its Facebook page in response to one of a number of readers who’d posted links to the story:
So, a full day has passed and not a single comrade has put themselves forward for the job of pseudo-leading the snarling pit of angry dogs that is Scottish Labour. Perhaps we’ve underestimated them. Perhaps they’re not quite as dim as they look.
On the left the Observer yesterday, on the right the Guardian this morning.
Imagine the UK’s great newspaper of the liberal left repeatedly confusing Theresa May with Esther McVey, or Harriet Harman with Dianne Abbott. Feel the comradely love.
lothianlad on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Another brilliant analysis Stu! Unlike the pretendy indy supporter called… goes pop. The SNP are under direct orders to stiffle…” May 5, 14:14
James on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Aye, Geri; You would think there’s a colonial election soon or something….. They’e piling in like pedos with sweeties at…” May 5, 14:10
Dan on Seven Days Too Long: “And jist what are Aidan’s relevant qualifications and work experience for him to be such an expert on fossil fuel…” May 5, 13:55
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““Scotland’s colonial ‘condition’ and role of the Kirk” This is letter to The Moderator of The Church of Scotland written…” May 5, 13:43
Geri on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Looks like someone has increased the twats pay per post from a penny to a whole 5p. He’s flooded the…” May 5, 13:38
Aidan on Seven Days Too Long: “Thank you for that brilliant summary of the macroeconomics of the oil industry. All this oil being stolen by paedos…” May 5, 13:30
Alf Baird on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““You know nothing of God” Indeed, and arguably the missionary aspect of colonialism never needed to know much about God,…” May 5, 13:24
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “@Northy I think you’re overlooking the black, Scottish boy who appeared in several episodes of Porridge. Educate yourself, Dude! BTW.…” May 5, 13:23
Geri on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Yet, Shiteface, It isn’t the religion of peace invading other countries spreading tyranny, hunger, petulance, famine & death now is…” May 5, 13:12
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““Mainstream Media vs. Alternative Media” The distinction between mainstream and alternative media lies in their content, audience, and financial structure.…” May 5, 13:07
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “How odd. Northy seems to have an AI that produces output in English – the lying language of the coloniser.…” May 5, 13:07
Mark Beggan on Binfire Of The Vanities: “This election for me is not about voting for this or that. It’s about standing on the right side of…” May 5, 13:07
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Careful how you flap your flippers, James. But I guess you never heard of Onan, outside of your library of…” May 5, 13:00
Alf Baird on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““We’ll never be a nation again until we learn to mean what we say” Indeed so, Hatey. And, on the…” May 5, 12:55
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Taking some time out from his tour of the fishing ports of the Moray Firth, James the Walrus graces us…” May 5, 12:52
Cynicus on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Great Question The only one of your answers that matters is anti-SNP. These devoUnionists are a stronger bulwark of continuing…” May 5, 12:45
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: “By the way, I’ve read several versions of the Bible, each of them a few times over, and an English…” May 5, 12:44
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: “For fuck’s sake, Sven, that pish is from the Old Testament which even God tells me (in a dream) wis…” May 5, 12:44
James on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Quoting your imaginary friend again? Bless.” May 5, 12:42
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““merely requires better understanding of our colonial condition” Sigh. I guess the most depressing part of that statement is that…” May 5, 12:39
James on Binfire Of The Vanities: “looks like it’s newspaper stand business has folded….” May 5, 12:38
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““mainstream media blackout and censorship” OFFS, Alf! What century are you inhabiting? What you write of means NOTHING in today’s…” May 5, 12:34
James on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Hmmmm…..the “Site Prick” is now obsessed with “bumming”. Interesting segue. Who knew?” May 5, 12:33
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “We need a Pict Party. That would unite us Scots behind a single aim. Completing the extermination of the Picts…” May 5, 12:31
Young Lochinvar on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Fat Slag Wilma Flintstone I would have thought “crushing a grape” was more your thing..” May 5, 12:25
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Careful, CC! YL might swear a solemn vow, a mighty oath even, to post a half-decent response on here. Oh…” May 5, 12:22
Young Lochinvar on Binfire Of The Vanities: “C @ 12.04 Well if that makes you feel better. I’m sure if the Tories gain the seat in question…” May 5, 12:20
Alf Baird on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““converting Scots to the Indy cause” merely requires better understanding of our colonial condition, which is all explained here in…” May 5, 12:19
Alf Baird on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Correct Northcode, every one Tommy, Craig and Eva seeking oor leeberation is easily worth a dozen or mair daeless SNP…” May 5, 12:14