The SNP conference opened today with Stephen Flynn (primary interest: the career of Stephen Flynn), Karen Adam (primary interest: any shiny or jangly object) and Susan Aitken (primary interest: MOAR PIES), which ought to be more than enough by itself to convincingly illustrate that these are not serious people.
But if you somehow still weren’t certain, there’s this:
That, readers – from Flynn, supposedly the party’s sharpest talent – is political strategising on the level of a football manager wearing his lucky underpants for a cup tie. David Cameron didn’t grant the 2014 referendum because he HAD to, he did it because he saw a political opportunity to kill off independence for decades by delivering a strong victory for the Union.
In the end he got away with the gamble, much more narrowly than he expected to, and no UK Prime Minister will make that mistake again. (Especially as Cameron foolishly DID follow it up with a repeat performance, over Brexit, and this time lost the vote and ended his political career.)
What’s embarrassing is not that Swinney and Flynn are publicly endorsing such an absolute joke of a “strategy”, but that they know it’ll be enough to see the SNP returned to government, where the strategy will fail (whether by not securing the majority or by doing so and having Keir Starmer briskly tell them to sod off), and they can safely trouser fat Holyrood salaries for another half-decade with all the pressure off.
But what if conference delivers a surprise defeat for the leadership during this afternoon’s debate? We don’t expect it to – conference is stuffed with the payroll vote these days, and holding it in Aberdeen yet again has made it as hard as possible for rebels to turn up en masse, short of booking a leaky bothy near Dounreay – but let’s allow it as a possibility just for the sake of argument.
We’ll be honest, readers, we’ve spent most of the last five days sorting out our iPod music library. It’s a task that would make Hercules wince. 2,700 tracks infested with title case and all sorts of other grammatical catastrophes by crappy algorithms (there are songs on there categorised as being by variously “Adam And The Ants”, “Adam & The Ants” and “Adam and The Ants”, FFS), incorrect attributions and missing artwork.
That involved dealing with (shudder) iTunes, the worst piece of computer software ever written by humans – at least until its replacements, Apple Music and Apple Devices, which we had to switch to when halfway through the process, iTunes simply stopped recognising music at all.
(As far as we can tell, it’s now exclusively for managing podcasts.)
We could easily pen you 2000 pretty spicy words on the hundreds of different reasons why everyone who’s ever contributed to the creation of these monstrously dreadful, hateful apps should be thrown into a sewer full of rabid scorpions, and the main reason we’d do that – other than saving ourselves a fortune on therapy – is that it’d still be more interesting than writing about this complete and utter pishdrivel.
The only notable thing about the hilariously pompous “memorandum of understanding” that these two collections of shameless grifters signed up to at the weekend is that The National managed to find a couple of pages of space in its Sunday issue for it, since it’s got absolutely nothing to do with Palestine.
It’d be quite hard to find an image that more completely summed up the wretched state of the SNP in 2025 than this one. Look at that tiny handful of miserable faces, sitting dejectedly around a near-empty function room. It’s so bleak Mike Leigh could make an entire movie out of it.
And we know what you’re thinking – that we sat through some internet livestream to find the most pitiful-looking freezeframe imaginable to show them in a bad light. But nope. Kevin Stewart MSP posted this cheery snapshot of his own free will on Twitter on Sunday morning, presumably in the hope of boosting party morale in some way.
We’ve written a number of extremely, painstakingly detailed articles in the last few months explaining why list votes for the SNP at next year’s election will be wasted, and will serve only to elect Unionist (and in particular Reform) MSPs.
Unfortunately, some people still don’t get it.
And that’s understandable, because super-detailed articles are long and people have terribly short attention spans nowadays, especially if there are large tranches of fiddly arithmetic involved. So let’s go the opposite way.
(Apologies for our impromptu week off, we’ve been very busy with other stuff and there was nothing happening in Scottish politics anyway. See you on Monday.)
Nor was it even the fact that his death was captured in all its shocking, bloody horror on video, and inescapable on social media, nor that it came just the day after footage broke of another appalling killing in the States, the unprovoked stabbing of Ukrainian refugee Iryna Zarutska by a violent lunatic who’d been released on no-fee bail despite 14 previous arrests and should never have been at large.
In the end, the most chilling thing about this particular crime is this: Charlie Kirk was killed for doing exactly what civilised people are supposed to do.
(From reporting of the proceedings at Westminster Magistrates Court, it sounds very much like Watson has been directing and influencing Tarquin’s complaints to the police – which had originally been dismissed as baseless – and was largely responsible for the matter getting to trial.)
But Watson isn’t the only middle-aged trans-identifying man with whom “Tarquin” has a seemingly close relationship when it comes to the relentless, vindictive persecution of people who believe in biological sex.
We think (but haven’t been able to verify) that that’s Watson on the left of the thumbnail of the above video, in the facemask and with a brown bag amid extraordinary scenes as Tarquin left the court after giving his evidence.
But the burly, blond bespectacled man at the centre of it, who appears to be acting as some sort of official representative for “Tarquin”, is Stephanie Hayden – born Anthony Halliday, who changed his name in 2005 to Steven Hayden shortly after being released from the Sex Offenders Register (more on that below) before obtaining a GRC in the name of “Stephanie” in 2017.
Hayden is a convicted paedophile and self-described lawyer who, like Lynsay Watson, dedicates his entire life to the persecution of gender-critical campaigners.
And as remarkable as it might seem to anyone who read our previous piece, Hayden may be the more toxic of the two.
We’ve written already about the magnitude of the error transactivists have made in bringing about the arrest of Graham Linehan on trumped-up incitement charges. But thanks to the excellent work of court reporter Nick Wallis this week, the sheer scale of it is still only beginning to unfold.
At its heart is a scarcely-believable tale about how a tiny handful of deeply mentally ill men – at the core, just three – have for years orchestrated a campaign of vindictive, hateful intimidation and terror which has caused untold suffering to individuals, done catastrophic damage to the reputation of the police, and cost the taxpayer millions of pounds, all in a desperate attempt to validate their own delusions.
It’s going to be no small task to summarise it for you. But let’s do our best.
The Scottish Greens, who until last year were a party of government, claim to have 7,600 members. This month they conducted an election to choose two people as their “co-conveners”, from a list of four candidates, and almost 90% of the party’s members decided that they didn’t want any of them.
twathater on In pursuit of clarity: ““The real scandal in all this is that everyone in Scotland seen this happening before our eyes for the last…” Jun 7, 03:52
Dick Wall on In pursuit of clarity: “Interested in the Judicial Review bit. Can you elaborate please. Police Aye COPFS naw. Also you are right to suggest…” Jun 7, 02:20
gm on In pursuit of clarity: “Murrell singing like a canary would be perfection on earth. If only.” Jun 6, 23:46
Hatey McHateface on The Interesting Words Round: “It’s quite a jump from the SNP splurging the ring-fenced Indy Ref fund on themselves to it becoming a rallying…” Jun 6, 22:52
I. Despair on In pursuit of clarity: “Sorry if this has been noticed and queried already but if so, I missed it. ACC Houston’s statement: “…the Operation…” Jun 6, 22:38
James Barr Gardner on The Interesting Words Round: “It would not surprise me if the Brit State spend more money and time infiltrating and fucking up anything that…” Jun 6, 22:06
sarah on In pursuit of clarity: “Thanks for this link. It is great to see the Rev and Roddy Dunlop’s work getting the MSM attention and…” Jun 6, 21:54
Hatey McHateface on In pursuit of clarity: “Even so, don’t jump to any conclusions. Ask each one for their preferred pronouns. You can’t be too careful in…” Jun 6, 21:49
Hatey McHateface on The Interesting Words Round: “What really grinds my gears, Northy, is that the huge neon sign is illuminated by electricity stolen from Scotland. That…” Jun 6, 21:46
Hatey McHateface on The Interesting Words Round: “Sorry, Mark, I don’t know. I do know who was UK Prime Minister of Britain, if that helps.” Jun 6, 21:39
Andy Wiltshire on In pursuit of clarity: “Keep going Rev – the idea that the credibility of Scotland might somehow be saved is largely relying on you…” Jun 6, 21:37
katielass42 on The Interesting Words Round: “Thank you for the links, Fearghas! I had missed this so I am, even now, listening to the interview. It’s…” Jun 6, 20:32
James Barr Gardner on In pursuit of clarity: “Wan guid turn deserves anither…” Jun 6, 20:21
Bilbo on In pursuit of clarity: “It’s doubtful that any money could be recouped using those ways but I’m sure it would raise some eyebrows in…” Jun 6, 19:02
crazycat on In pursuit of clarity: “I’m delighted you got your money back, James, but I don’t think you owe me anything in relation to that!” Jun 6, 18:57
James Barr Gardner on In pursuit of clarity: “I am bemused by the claims of the professionalism of the Police team carrying the investigation of the Missing £660K.…” Jun 6, 18:42
Lothianlad on In pursuit of clarity: “Tgey are nithing more than enforcers of tge SNP cabal.” Jun 6, 17:59
crazycat on In pursuit of clarity: “It looks as if the chargeback time limit is 120 days, though if the purchase is a pre-payment for eg…” Jun 6, 17:55
agentx on In pursuit of clarity: “A whole article about you Stu Police Scotland warned it faces judicial review over flat-out refusal to reinvestigate missing SNP…” Jun 6, 17:41
Skip_NC on In pursuit of clarity: “The oversight should be from the judiciary. The problem we have is that the College of Justice contains 34 (?)…” Jun 6, 17:36
Ian McCubbin on The Lord Of The Rings: “My worst fears coming to fruition. Swinney as corrupt as Sturgeon and both assets of Englidh state. Our police system…” Jun 6, 17:35
Bilbo on In pursuit of clarity: “Just to clarify, there are two routes that people can take to get their donations back. First is contacting your…” Jun 6, 17:12
agentx on In pursuit of clarity: “This is interesting https://www.copfs.gov.uk/services/victim-services/victims-right-to-review/ Victims’ Right to Review This guide explains how the victim of a crime can ask COPFS…” Jun 6, 17:06
Alf Baird on In pursuit of clarity: “A colonised “country will always struggle to prosper”, not least given ‘the objective of colonialism is to widen inequality’ (Memmi).…” Jun 6, 17:04
Andrea on In pursuit of clarity: “Thanks Sven and Cynicus. I confess, i too thought it was Homer Simpson, although that would have not really gone…” Jun 6, 17:01
Sian Laidlaw on In pursuit of clarity: “I am amazed Mr. Campbell that having addressed and sent your email to The Chief Constable of Police Scotland it…” Jun 6, 16:55
Richard on In pursuit of clarity: “Appropriate song in the context of such good work. I guess that makes it 2 Honest Men. www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKQBUqrzN1Q” Jun 6, 16:35
Mark Beggan on In pursuit of clarity: “Even Police Scotland sometimes have to stand naked.” Jun 6, 16:27
twathater on In pursuit of clarity: “I agree wholeheartedly that the misuse and misappropriation of the ring fenced referendum DONATIONS are MORE important if not as…” Jun 6, 16:19