So there’s definitely going to be a second referendum, the No campaign is going to win it again and a shattered SNP will collapse as a result, sending Labour triumphantly back to Holyrood power. (Having now come out on top in not one but two internal elections, presumably Kezia Dugdale is now also a “proven winner”.)
It’s just that we feel like we’ve heard that before somewhere.
An update, then: as we write, our anti-poverty fundraiser (which set out to gather just £500 for a young woman in Kidderminster fined almost £330 for stealing a 75p pack of Mars bars out of desperate hunger after her benefits were sanctioned) stands at a phenomenal £14,395.
This spoon-faced howler was pointed out mirthfully by vile cybernats days ago, but we suspect that the person at Scottish Labour who knows how to work the internets only comes in on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It’s going to be a long road back.
Earlier today Gordon Brown gave a speech in London, on a subject and for reasons which are unclear. It was widely trailed in the press, however, as an intervention in the Labour leadership campaign, with the particular goal of stopping Jeremy Corbyn from winning. It was – naturally – broadcast live and in full by the BBC News channel.
Corbyn wasn’t mentioned by name so far as we noticed, but to tell the truth we drifted in and out of the rambling, 49-minute, 30-page monologue full of celebrity namedrops and unconnected anecdotes, hypnotised as we were by Brown’s relentless pacing up and down the room like a caged animal.
Nobody who isn’t getting paid should have to endure the entire grimness of it, so using the magic of technology we’ve compressed it all down to a mere fraction of its length (just 20%) for you, but without losing any of the tone, content or intellectual nuance.
We offer it to you as an elegy. It marks the day that Labour reanimated the walking corpse of the only person left in the party that it considers to have any gravitas – not to win an election, but to try to crush the first man in living memory to enthuse tens of thousands of new members to join a political party in the hope of restoring the values it was created to uphold.
It is the day the soul of the Labour Party finally died.
Keen followers of First Minister’s Questions will doubtless be excited to witness the weekly jousts, as the dynamic new regime of Kezia Dugdale sweeps out the tired old broom of Labour’s previous FMQs inquisitor, er, Kezia Dugdale.
Curiously, while the BBC was present and broadcasting live at the announcement of the new leader and deputy, neither’s acceptance speech was broadcast on TV, radio or online, which may well have surprised viewers and listeners who’ve become used to 50-minute prime-time Gordon Brown “intervention” specials.
In Dugdale’s case, our best guess is that the BBC didn’t want to have to fact-check it.
There’s another rather bizarre Kenny Farquharson column in today’s Times. Under the headline “Holyrood wasn’t built for a one-party state”, it asserts that “the Scottish Parliament is no longer fit for purpose” on the grounds that the opposition parties are useless, as if that were the fault of the electoral system rather than their leaders.
After that, though, it just gets flat-out insulting.
The papers these days are full of horrendous stories. For some reason this one just tripped a nerve, and we wanted to do something. Click here for details.
This debate between John “Mental Mad” McTernan and Owen Jones from the BBC News channel this morning doesn’t need a lot of commentary from us, to be honest.
It’s like watching someone try to reason with voicemail.
When presenter Matt Frei sympathetically puts to her that she left Scotland because she was being “given a very very hard time” by Yes/SNP supporters, Mone denies it, saying “I didn’t actually leave, that wasn’t the main reason to have left Scotland”.
So where could Frei have come by such a misapprehension?
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “All part of the Globalists population control. Vote them out of Holyrood. They’re not there to serve Scotland & they…” Mar 17, 18:35
agentx on Looking up at the stars: ““Matt Broom-Hughes and husband Thomas, owners of The Bellachroy Inn say heating oil prices have doubled in just a month…” Mar 17, 18:32
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “‘ST PATRICK’S BREASTPLATE’ also called ‘THE DEER’S CRY’ Prayer for protection of travellers attributed to St Patrick. This version linguistically…” Mar 17, 17:17
Sven on Looking up at the stars: “Agentx @ 16.38. And not before time, although the words, “Too little, too late” also spring to my mind.” Mar 17, 17:00
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Who cares if it was St Patrick or St Brendan? The facts are they both walked here. Saints knew what…” Mar 17, 16:59
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: ““The next ref won’t be our 1st Rodeo” Good to hear we’re defo getting that second referendum, Geri. I’d ask…” Mar 17, 16:54
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: ““slavering acquiescence in the name of ‘kindness’ and ‘virtue-signalling’, ‘green’ lies and a disregard for truth. No more heroes anymore!”…” Mar 17, 16:47
agentx on Looking up at the stars: ““Police Scotland confirmed it was finally ending Nicola Sturgeon’s gender ideology by updating its systems to ensure that the biological…” Mar 17, 16:38
Cynicus on Looking up at the stars: ““St Patrick was the first illegal immigrant to enter Britain in a dinghy.” ====== St Patrick was born in the…” Mar 17, 16:11
sarah on Looking up at the stars: “@ Marie: I’m so sorry – there is nothing worse than sibling disagreements. We had some in my family but…” Mar 17, 15:06
Marie on Looking up at the stars: “I had a sibling ask me to stop feeding our late terminally ill mother because they were impatient to get…” Mar 17, 14:54
Sven on Looking up at the stars: “Mark Beggan @ 14.04. That would have been before we elected so many of those turnips who have now taken…” Mar 17, 14:38
sarah on Looking up at the stars: “O/T: Today’s the day to see how the Assisted Dying votes go at Holyrood. I wrote to all my MSPs…” Mar 17, 14:36
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “‘Rigidity of thought ‘ Entrenched bitterness against their own kind. ‘All problems will be solved after independence.’ How many times…” Mar 17, 14:04
Alf Baird on Looking up at the stars: ““Scotland will issue another framework on important issues, a starting point” Thankfully there is a published research-based ‘theoretical framework’ identifying…” Mar 17, 13:54
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Nope! Setting out a general framework of where we’d be starting from is very different from a political parties individual…” Mar 17, 13:44
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Okay so now it’s exactly the opposite of what you were saying earlier, glad we ironed that one out.” Mar 17, 13:03
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “St Patrick was the first illegal immigrant to enter Britain in a dinghy.” Mar 17, 12:50
Lorncal on Looking up at the stars: “Dan: maybe you just don’t see others’ viewpoints as valid discussion issues? Wings is still, by far, the most influential…” Mar 17, 12:50
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Scotland was perfectly capable of writing a framework before. Even Wings wrote the wee blue book along with thousands of…” Mar 17, 12:35
Lorncal on Looking up at the stars: “Anne: I honestly do not think that the vast majority of posters on here are Unionist trolls. It is just…” Mar 17, 12:33
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “For Scotland to achieve independence now the supporters will have to vote for the Unionist party most likely to form…” Mar 17, 12:24
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “I’m not going through the bins sorry, but looks like you’re absolutely right, it ain’t from the Tay, perhaps it…” Mar 17, 11:55
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “It’s a great strategy from Geri, I love it. So when people ask perfectly reasonable questions in hustings/on the doorstep/in…” Mar 17, 11:48
100%Yes on Looking up at the stars: “Why does it bother you? Ignore them entirely, most people do and they’ll just go away.” Mar 17, 11:33
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “(Another attempt at the Gaelic version, hopefully free this time from misformatting question marks after each Gaelic accent) COIRE A’…” Mar 17, 11:23
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “CORRYVRECKAN George Orwell wrote his novel 1984 on the Island of Jura. I saw something about it on tv recently.…” Mar 17, 11:07
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “That which doesn’t kill you makes you strong, Anne. It never ceases to amaze me how so many pro-Indy Scots…” Mar 17, 11:07
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “COIRE A’ BHREACAIN Sgri?obh Seo?ras Orwell 1984 air Eilean Diu?ra. Chunnaic mi pi?os mu a dhe?idhinn air an tv o…” Mar 17, 11:05
