So, yeah. It was on this day in 1991 that the first ever proper issue of Amiga Power (A Magazine With Tatty Shoes, or something) hit Britons’ newsagents’ shelves.
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And while vast numbers of old games magazines are now available to read as lovely friendly PDFs or similar that you can load up onto your computer or electro-tablet and flick through page by page in a gratifying manner, AP inexplicably isn’t.
As alert readers will recall, nowadays we only look at the Scottish Daily Express if we’re absolutely desperate for material, so this piece slipped past us a few days ago:
And since the only thing in the papers today is page after page of unbearable fawning drivel about the stupendously insignificant (fifth in line to the throne, will never ever be king unless a terrorist blows up Buckingham Palace with an atomic bomb, is roughly as important to the wellbeing of the nation as Hamilton Accies’ third-choice goalkeeper) royal baby, we figured we may as well have a look at it now.
Even in a sluggish news season, it’s somehow extra-dispiriting to see a once-august newspaper like the Sunday Times fill its pages by trying to flog its readers reheated old cobblers from the previous day’s Daily Mail.
We’ve already shredded the towering stupidity of the story itself (the Times dutifully repeats all the exact same drivel about meal deals and loyalty vouchers), so we were pleased when social media presented a new angle on it.
Pointing out the spectacular levels of imbecility among Scotland’s elected Tories has threatened to become a full-time job for this website in recent months. We wish we could say that today’s example was even a particularly noteworthy one, but tragically it’s about par for the course.
Today’s Scottish Daily Mail leads with a rather limp piece about some fairly minor and unavoidable loopholes in the new legislation for minimum alcohol pricing. It notes, for example, that if people order alcohol online and it’s despatched by the supplier from outside Scotland, the Scottish Government will have no jurisdiction over the price.
(Because the UK has no internal border controls and there’s no law against someone buying cheaper booze in England and bringing it home to Scotland.)
Retailers, of course, can easily block this loophole if they choose to, by refusing to deliver cheap alcohol purchases to Scottish addresses, so it’s not much of a problem.
And the other “loopholes” aren’t actually loopholes at all – one*, according to the Mail, is that “loyalty reward vouchers can also continue to be offered to cut the cost of alcohol”, which is a bit like saying it’s a “loophole” that employers could give people pay rises that they might use to buy more beer.
But if you thought THAT was stupid, Annie Wells MSP is here to raise the bar.
(NB These rules do not apply to Andrew Neil, Nick Robinson, etc etc. Like, duh. In a properly democratic country we’d be able to use FOI to actually see the blacklist, but this is the BBC we’re talking about.)
Last night – at the insistence of the SNP – the House Of Commons held a six-hour emergency debate in the wake of the UK’s unquestionably illegal bombing of Syria at the weekend, under the supposed justification of a chemical attack that may well not have happened at all, far less have been the responsibility of the unfortunate country’s murderous dictator Bashar al-Assad.
The debate concluded with a token vote, not on whether the bombing was right or wrong but which merely asserted whether Parliament had “considered” the subject. (ie voting that it had NOT done so would have made a statement that the Prime Minister acted improperly by committing UK forces to a conflict without obtaining MPs’ assent.)
Faced with the opportunity to issue a symbolic public rebuke to the government for bypassing Parliament on a matter of war and breaking international law, the radical socialist opposition Labour Party of Jeremy Corbyn… abstained.
There can surely be no country on Earth cursed and plagued with a more pathetic shower of petty, whining, gossiping harpies in those roles than Scotland. And while we knew that already, barely a day seems to go by without them reaching a new nadir.
If you’ve got the stomach to hear about the latest low point, grit your teeth, lower your expectations of humanity considerably and read on.
Yes, we know the Express announces a “killer blow” to independence every couple of weeks. But otherwise we can think of nothing to add to this story, so just click the pic to read and enjoy.
Of the most direct interest to Scotland, of course, are the UK government’s attempts to trample all over the 20-year-old devolution settlement.
The urgency of the situation, with Brexit now less than a year away, has driven the Yes movement into one of its occasional paroxysms of dispute about when a second independence referendum should be attempted, with SNP MP Pete Wishart attracting some overheated opprobrium by warning against acting in haste, and in the process serving up a juicy gift-wrapped opportunity for Unionists and a news-starved media.
But the furore masks a key issue that the Yes movement – and more crucially, the Scottish Government – has failed to address for the last three years, and which it’s really going to have to deal with at some point.
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Any truth in the rumour Keir Starmer is going to appoint Gary Glitter as Ambassador to the USA?” Feb 21, 02:07
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH Well Oi Vey Y’all!! FYI: Mumbling was permitted when swearing-in in divided Glasgow back then.. AI not tell you…” Feb 21, 00:01
Onlooker on When the law breaks the law: “Reply reply reply reply reply reply reply sneer fart waffle baffle babble…if you are a paid bot, you must have…” Feb 20, 23:22
Onlooker on When the law breaks the law: “Forgive my lack of exact recollection of details, but didn’t Nicola Sturgeon recommend Dorothy Bain for the Lord Advocate job…” Feb 20, 23:20
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Anyone see the irony of Ross Greer attacking Randy Andy (guilty as eff probably) while “its” party was the governmental…” Feb 20, 23:20
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “I recall you claiming you served in the British Army. That will make you one of the very few (perhaps…” Feb 20, 23:14
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Interesting how quickly, all things considered, that things have moved on since Auld Lizzie the lizard shuffled off this mortal…” Feb 20, 22:53
chic kirk on When the law breaks the law: “i donated but will do so again as needed, we the public must step forwrd to support people like mark…” Feb 20, 22:23
David Holden on When the law breaks the law: “Perhaps we should be running a crowd funder for the world’s greatest living half Greek former prince who has fallen…” Feb 20, 16:07
sarah on When the law breaks the law: “@ Mark Hirst: I donated when you first opened the crowdfunder and will do so again. I note that the…” Feb 20, 15:55
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Well, well! Grudging respect to Professor Baird. Precisely as predicted by Fanon, Memmi, et al, the linguistically colonised YL has…” Feb 20, 15:08
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Hasn’t the world’s greatest living half Scot, President Donald Trump, defunded that useless, toothless talking shop and safe haven for…” Feb 20, 14:38
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH Eh? Sorry, no idea what you’re talking about. Have you been indulging in self-trepanation again..” Feb 20, 14:35
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on When the law breaks the law: ““The Act of Union at least protected the Scots legal system” ? ————- Worth listening again to the seminal speech…” Feb 20, 14:22
dearieme on When the law breaks the law: “All this is a powerful argument against devolved Scottish government. Scrap the bloody thing, it’s failed. The Act of Union…” Feb 20, 13:27
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Great stuff, Northy. I’d heard of galactic clusters. Now you’re teaching me about galactic clusterfucks.” Feb 20, 12:07
Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “Chris Wormald… former Cabinet Secretary for Great Britain, UK, and England recently replaced by: Dame Antonia Rebecca Caroline Angharad Catherine…” Feb 20, 11:39
McDuff on When the law breaks the law: “Donated. Best of luck Mark as you have been severely wronged and the thugs that targeted you need to be…” Feb 20, 11:20
Northcode on The Future Is Yesterday: “The past is tomorrow… not least because us humans insist on repeating history, and with not a single lesson ever…” Feb 20, 11:17
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Aye, Alf, I guess if the only tool in your armoury is a spoon, every situation must look like a…” Feb 20, 10:48
Alf Baird on When the law breaks the law: ““The case we’re discussing here is entirely home grown” Don’t be silly. Despite the inevitable ‘on-the-ground indigenous agents'(Elkins) operating in…” Feb 20, 10:37
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “There’s something about Fanon makes my hair curl.” Feb 20, 10:28
willie on The Future Is Yesterday: “Rejected by the electorate in the constituency but then perchance a seat at the top of the regional list. Why…” Feb 20, 10:23
Andy Wiltshire on When the law breaks the law: “I’m cheering them on, but no doubt someone will explain that it’s all just something straight out of post-colonial theory…” Feb 20, 10:05
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““Movie”, YL? You’re colonised and you don’t even know it.” Feb 20, 08:46
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Anyone else reckon Bain’s heid has a similar(ish) profile to a movie Predator? Just without the odd breathy way of…” Feb 19, 22:36
robertkknight on When the law breaks the law: “Pay day next week…standby! The alphabets and their party connections are no secret. Nor indeed their motivations. They still enjoy…” Feb 19, 22:01
agentx on When the law breaks the law: “O/T – but the Mens’s curling team are through to the final – guaranteed at least a silver medal and…” Feb 19, 22:01