In any functional nation, Friday’s revelations in Parliament by Sir David Davis would have been headline news. An extremely powerful figure, the then-First Minister’s chief of staff, was named and accused of conspiring with the Scottish Government, civil service and media to imprison an innocent man – the former leader of the country – on very serious charges of sexual assault, and of seeking to destroy his reputation by illegally leaking the false allegations to the press.
Liz Lloyd had never been publicly named as the suspect before that moment, so it was almost immeasurably bizarre that only two of Scotland’s newspapers (and two of its lowest-selling), namely The Times and – belatedly – The National, bothered to even report the accusation, far less spend any time seriously delving into it.
But it still wasn’t as odd as THIS response from a former Green MSP.
What on Earth is being suggested here? Let’s try to find out.
It’s both a comprehensive refresher of events surrounding the Scottish Government’s conspiracy to convict Alex Salmond on false charges, and a sharp reminder of why Scotland is, in truth, not yet a country in a fit administrative state for independence.
But one part in particular ought to be the headline news tonight.
Independence is dead as a political issue in Scotland for the next few years. This much should not be in any dispute. A Labour government with a crushing majority sits firmly in Westminster with absolutely no intentions of granting a second referendum, and the SNP has loudly and clearly abandoned any other strategy.
This fact is understandably painful and difficult to come to terms with for anyone who’s devoted the last 13 years (or more) to pursuing that cause and now isn’t quite sure what to do with theirself. But for those who still aren’t ready to face up to the unpleasant reality, there’s always the comforting world of fantasy.
Because there’s always money to be made from snake oil and pie in the sky.
The average rape sentence in Scotland is seven years, so to get six years plus three years’ supervision for the technically lesser crime of sexual assaults means they must have been pretty grim ones.
So we know that Cameron Downing is a very bad man. Which does rather invite the question of why he was so popular in the SNP.
The SNP have been pretty clear about the reason they think they got a battering in last week’s election: it was because people were voting to kick out the Tories.
Now, that’s obviously nonsense. There were almost no Tories in Scotland to start with – just 10% of voters had a Tory MP – and only one of the six actually lost his seat. (Which was entirely down to the ham-fisted interference of Douglas Ross rather than an SNP surge – the SNP’s vote share in the seat in question went DOWN.)
If you wanted to keep Tories out in Scotland all you had to do was keep voting for your current MP, most of whom were SNP, rather than risk splitting the anti-Tory vote by switching to Labour and risk letting the Tories squeeze through in the middle. (Which would have happened in many seats had the Tories’ own vote not collapsed.)
But if it was true that the SNP lost because the electorate thought the election was about getting rid of the Tories, whose fault was that?
To be honest, folks, we’re not quite sure what to do with ourselves at the moment.
Everyone and his wee dug is writing election-aftermath columns and offering the SNP advice of varying intelligence and solemnity about how to recover from the shattering blow they’ve just been dealt by Scottish voters.
But it’s a pointless exercise. They may as well be yelling down a manhole.
The Scottish Greens, in a feat of remarkable hubris and financial profligacy, stood 44 candidates in this week’s general election, knowing that most of them would lose their deposits, which they duly did.
But not quite all of them. And there the comedy arose.
Because while SNP boneheads on social media are raging idiotically at Alba, Wings and others for causing division and damaging the unity of the indy cause yada yada yada, a small handful of Green candidates made a real difference.
James on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Can you elucidate what these “fish” might be? England has been meddling in Scotland’s affairs for nigh on 1,000 years…” Jul 24, 14:01
Rob on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “The simple fact is that Scottish politicians have shown over the last 10 years that they are simply so incompetent…” Jul 24, 13:54
Aidan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “It’s a case against nuclear power, I don’t know where she got the numbers from re costs, they seem around…” Jul 24, 13:08
sarah on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Further to my comment at 11.18 a.m., coincidentally Gareth Wardell, Grouse Beater, has retweeted today the speech that he would…” Jul 24, 12:59
Mark Beggan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Put your colonial feet up on the colonial stool. Make some colonial tea and have some Corbyn and Sultana cake.” Jul 24, 12:40
Mark Beggan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: ““coordinated attacks” That’s right we all meet up at the Troll Bar on Union Street and after singing God save…” Jul 24, 12:32
Confused on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Nothing wrong with nuclear power stations – we don’t need them though, nor will ever – we have a full…” Jul 24, 12:31
Confused on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “if you have been scanning the civil service jobs of late, one theme has been that of “energy security”; they…” Jul 24, 12:26
Aidan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@Sarah – until such time as a political party is formed, led by serious people with a properly developed and…” Jul 24, 12:24
Confused on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “I feel the need to talk about some “boring shit”. So flip the channel if you are continuing with the…” Jul 24, 12:23
Alf Baird on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Perhaps the most important theory in our case, given the long period of colonization, is that of the colonial mindset,…” Jul 24, 12:14
Andy Storrie on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Just say the word, Campbell, and the readers could chip-in for a wardrobe full of frocks for ye.” Jul 24, 12:12
sarah on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Rob, independence is a dead duck only if we all give up. I know it is depressing when the cause…” Jul 24, 11:18
Stuart on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: ““ But perhaps most of all “the colonizer hates theory”, for theory (such as postcolonial theory) ultimately reveals the colonial…” Jul 24, 11:10
Northcode on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: ““But perhaps most of all “the colonizer hates theory…” Indeed so, Alf. As is plain for all to see here…” Jul 24, 11:09
Captain Caveman on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Constructive criticism – even if robustly or incredulously asserted – isn’t “trolling”, mate. Are you and your ilk such snowflakes…” Jul 24, 10:58
Captain Caveman on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “‘… Sometimes the response to a particularly stupid attempt at making some useless point or other by a singularly dim-witted…” Jul 24, 10:55
Dan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Well worth a read. https://dearscotland.substack.com/p/why-nuclear-power-in-scotland-is” Jul 24, 10:39
Alf Baird on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “As Memmi wrote, and as we can see in oor ain laund an among oor ain fowk, a “Colonized society…” Jul 24, 10:24
Aidan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “I will give it to you Northcode, that is quite an amusing post, and a spirited defence of what you…” Jul 24, 10:07
Rob on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “I know that I have never “attacked” Alf Baird. Like a number of folk on here I just think he…” Jul 24, 10:02
Chas on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Why is it that the fantasists and cranks assume that any one commentating on the repetitive, self centered dross produced…” Jul 24, 09:55
Northcode on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “A staunch unionist (colonialist?), and a proud Ingle tae boot, on here has just re-stated almost the entirety of a…” Jul 24, 09:46
Callum on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “The BIG questions. Should any doctor who is incapable of determining the sex of their patients be allowed to practice…” Jul 24, 07:42
Young Lochinvar on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Quality Doctor eh.. . Did she pass basic biology? Doctor! Doctor! Road traffic accident casualty just in and it looks…” Jul 24, 06:02
Young Lochinvar on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Aha!! P3nisbreath McP3nisbreathface is back after an absence no doubt at Langley and.. T A..v. And upset about a Barbie…” Jul 24, 05:51
Willie on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Reading the various comments it does seem that Alf Baird has very much become the focus of coordinated attack from…” Jul 24, 05:19
Hatey McHateface on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: ““You’re all afraid and it shows” Sure. I’m forever shitting ma kegs at the idea that TH and ‘Mrs James’…” Jul 24, 03:57