If you’re a fan of lazy, superficial political analysis from the mentally unwell, you might have read this week about John Swinney’s great strategic triumph of having “coaxed” an “endorsement” out of the Daily Record for Thursday’s by-election in Hamilton.
And if so, you might be forgiven for thinking that that analysis looks pretty stupid now.
(Holiday Boy is still jetting his way around the globe, and indeed will be for the next few weeks, so in the absence of cartoons what else can we do but look at comics?)
But what, if anything, do those front pages tell us?
Alert readers will be familiar with this site’s ongoing quest for an explanation as to why controversy-plagued charity LGBT Youth Scotland continues to operate in dozens of Scottish primary and even nursery schools, pushing gender ideology onto children as young as four despite only having a remit to support 13-25-year-olds.
Last month we were, to coin a phrase, stonewalled by Scotland’s charity regulator, the OSCR, but we filed a review request and today we received – a couple of weeks past the deadline – a response.
The entire Scottish media and professional-politician community is currently in a self-righteous froth about a campaign ad being run by Reform for the Hamilton by-election targeting Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar.
Obviously none of the acres of press coverage trusts voters to see the ad and decide for themselves, because that simply isn’t how journalism works nowadays. You’re told that a bad thing happened – whether it be a campaign ad, a comedian’s joke or the supposed terrible abuse sent to a celebrity – and how outraged various pundits or other celebrities are about it, with the clear implication that you should feel the same, but you almost never get shown or told what was actually said.
So to start with, as a basic journalistic principle, here’s the ad itself in its entirety.
Now let’s look at what you’re being ordered to think about it.
Don Paterson is a celebrated Scottish poet, writer and musician. The essay below comes from a new anthology of Scottish writers called Irish Pages: Scotland, and is reproduced with his permission.
Remember The Vow? Most of us have tried to forget it. This was Westminster’s Hail Mary as polling day approached in the 2014 referendum; a vote that Yessers – people tend to forget this part too – initially had no real expectation of winning, until an inspirationally positive campaign saw the polls draw neck-and-neck.
Then lo! There it was, splashed across the Daily Record: a fancy-font promise from Westminster party leaders that if Scotland voted to stay within the UK, we would enjoy new devolved powers. There was some other waffle about defence and opportunities and having an equal share in the UK’s prosperity. But the message was clear enough. We would be listened to.
The Scottish Tory MSP reacted furiously to a story in The National which said Scotland had been absorbed into England by the 1707 Act Of Union, rather than becoming a “partner” in anything, and had ceased to exist as a state in international law.
Which was a weird response, because that’s been the official stated position of both the UK government and the Conservative Party for at least the last 12 years.
Despite everything, we almost allowed ourselves just the very tiniest little micro-flicker of optimism when we read Tommy Sheppard’s latest in The National.
Because that much is certainly true, and it’s uncommonly candid to have anyone in the SNP admit it. So what’s the answer?
(Kelly’s article is here. Link to Grok’s answer here. The ChatGPT analysis that triggered the article can be read in this tweet thread. A verifiable analysis by Grok of the debate, based on a neutral question, can be read here.)
The legal imprint at the bottom means that that’s official SNP election communication. One assumes it’s intended for leaflets to be put through actual voters’ letterboxes.
Hi! I noticed, with very considerable amusement, your complaint last night that I hadn’t made a “substantive reply” to the [EDIT] EIGHT posts (totalling nearly 11,000 words) of semi-coherent ranting about me that you’ve made on your site in the last eight days.
(I’ll be absolutely honest, I’ve only skimmed the last few.)
We both know the reason that’s so tear-streamingly comical, of course.
In so far as it’s worth talking about Scottish constitutional politics at all these days, it’s worth taking a moment to analyse the bloodless, anodyne nothingness spouted by the First Minister on The Sunday Show at the weekend.
That clip is less than three minutes long, but it’s so soul-crushingly boring and full of content-free drone and waffle that it’s almost impossible to sit all the way through it, so we’re going to translate and summarise it for you.
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “Don’t forget your stab vest.” Mar 2, 00:04
Dee Dubya on Two Men Unalike: “Every time one of these stories comes up I feel more and more that they are taking the p. Deliberately…” Mar 1, 22:56
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Hi Twathater. I hope yer well. Aye, I’ve had a nice break, ta x” Mar 1, 21:27
Alf Baird on Two Men Unalike: “Cultural Imperialism theory is not that difficult to comprehend. The ultimate aim of cultural imperialism is to remove and replace…” Mar 1, 21:25
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “GM I dunno why Stu allows them to infest his site. They’re clearly not here to add anything to each…” Mar 1, 21:24
Geri on Two Men Unalike: “Aye, remember the “lead don’t leave” bullshit? Just more of their lies. It must be shit being a Yoon. The…” Mar 1, 21:14
GM on The Tactics Of Suicide: “You and yes pals think you can act as site moderators of acceptable political opinion? FUDS. Paid troll brits setting…” Mar 1, 20:36
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “Iranian news reporting that their leader “had drunk the sweet pure draught of martyrdom” Now available in cans at your…” Mar 1, 19:56
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “Big Satan and Little Satan go together like Rock and Roll. Clap if you agree.” Mar 1, 19:33
agentx on Two Men Unalike: “” Alba bosses have insisted the pro-independence party is “financially insolvent” after being urged to contest the Holyrood election or…” Mar 1, 18:35
TURABDIN on Two Men Unalike: “The media photos of the Madboy of the Western World, with custom patriotic headgear, has the vengeful look of a…” Mar 1, 18:34
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Thanks, lorncal. No, I didn’t see Clarkson’s take on it. I’ll see if I can find it.” Mar 1, 18:15
agentx on Two Men Unalike: “https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/crowdfunder-request-alliance-to-liberate-scotlan This is the correct link.” Mar 1, 18:06
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “You’re at it again, sam, spouting stats with no context to allow interpretation. Literacy in which language?” Mar 1, 18:05
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “He has spent the last five years spouting the same crap. Week in and week out. Never changing dribble hungarily…” Mar 1, 17:59
Young Lochinvar on Two Men Unalike: “Dot B under the spotlight again for tipping the wink to pen pal “Honest” John over Tricky Nicky’s investigation status..…” Mar 1, 17:27
sam on Two Men Unalike: “In education the Scottish gubmint for aw its faults seems to be doing better than England’s labouring gubmint. https://www.jrf.org.uk/uk-poverty-statistics/education That’s…” Mar 1, 16:59
sarah on Two Men Unalike: “www.crowdfunder.co.uk for Alliance to Liberate Scotland Holyrood 2026 – target is £10,000 for all the campaign materials etc etc. Spread…” Mar 1, 16:52
lorncal on Two Men Unalike: “I know I probably shouldn’t have, but I did laugh out loud at that, H. McH. Have you read Jeremy…” Mar 1, 16:08
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Generous, Geri. No question about that. But the crowdfunder can’t use your number two.” Mar 1, 16:05
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Sure, Alf, but only a few more weeks until we can all vote for this to be swept into the…” Mar 1, 16:00
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Dinna ye tak ony lip frae God, Northy. It’s ye that tells Him, nae the ither wuy roond.” Mar 1, 15:43
Alf Baird on Two Men Unalike: “As well as public bodies, universities etc and the NHS being “the most trans-captured organisations in the entire UK” it…” Mar 1, 15:41
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “James, ye need tae read fit happened tae Onan. Nae day like the Sabbath fir opening the Guid Book. If…” Mar 1, 15:39
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “One step back, Mark. I’m first.” Mar 1, 15:30
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Any boady mind “Hello, I’m Julian and this is my friend Sandy”? Innocent times they were.” Mar 1, 15:27
Young Lochinvar on Two Men Unalike: “J Good point!” Mar 1, 15:10
Confused on Two Men Unalike: “M&S Food Hall last night, getting some of those spicy breaded chicken things. Past the checkout, the news stand -…” Mar 1, 13:59
Sven on Two Men Unalike: “I see your “Toodle-oo the noo, the noo agin, agin…fir noo” and raise you one; “Hello, Farewell, Hello”. Kürt Vonnegut.” Mar 1, 13:58
