You’d have to be living in a pretty strict prison not to have heard the big story from today’s Olympics in Paris, in which male Algerian cheat Imane Khelefi was put in a boxing ring with young Italian woman Angela Carini and allowed to hit her in the head for 46 seconds until she retired, in tears and in fear for her safety, saying “I had to preserve my life”.
Sound like your kind of fun, men? It’s surprisingly easy!
When you’ve been watching Scotland playing football for 50 years of your life, you become accustomed to disappointment. You expect disappointment. Anything better than disappointment becomes a bonus.
It’s probably as good an illustration of the madness currently engulfing Scottish politics as anything that the most unusual suspect, Anas Sarwar, may have just – temporarily at least – saved Humza Yousaf’s job.
And although our head hurts already, we’ll try to explain why.
News reaches Wings this evening that Humza Yousaf has called an emergency meeting of the Scottish Cabinet at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning, just a couple of hours before FMQs. (This information has been confirmed directly to us by a source very close to a member of said Cabinet.)
An emergency Cabinet meeting is an extraordinarily rare event. As far as we’re able to establish there have only been two during the SNP’s time in power – when the budget failed to pass in 2009 and Alex Salmond’s administration had to decide whether or not to trigger a general election, and one the day after the Brexit vote to supposedly plan a second indyref (LOL). But in any case they’re extremely unusual.
The subject of the meeting has not been disclosed to us. It could, for example, concern imminent developments in Operation Branchform, or it could relate to the Bute House Agreement between the SNP and the Scottish Greens. The men in grey kilts may have come for the FM. Or Scotland could be about to declare war on Morocco or something. But we are told that the fact of the meeting taking place is a 100% certainty.
So no sleeping in tomorrow, readers. It’s probably going to be big.
Everyone’s having a lot of fun with the farcical Hate Crime Act that will finally come into operation in Scotland in just a couple of weeks’ time, fittingly on April Fools’ Day.
Nicola Sturgeon is due to give her evidence to the COVID inquiry tomorrow – if, of course, she remembers anything. We’re awaiting, open-mouthed in genuine shock, her explanation for this.
Because try as hard as we might, we cannot for the lives of us bring to mind a single possible legitimate justification for a First Minister to do such a thing.
Alert readers may however note that 19 March 2020 was just four days before Alex Salmond was cleared of all charges, and might find themselves pondering the reasons why she might want to be in possession of a cheap disposable text-capable phone at that particular point in time.
Big Jock on Ball Of Confusion: “Didn’t Souness say he wished he was English? Surely Farage should be a natural home for this plastic Jock. Him…” Jun 6, 00:08
Chris Downie on Ball Of Confusion: “Souness was a world-class player, but also the biggest hacking bastard the Scottish game has ever seen. A true Loyalist…” Jun 5, 23:39
Hatey McHateface on Ball Of Confusion: “A lot of things were better in earlier times, TURABDIN. Heck, take the Yes movement. Who wouldn’t want to go…” Jun 5, 21:06
Hatey McHateface on A Butterfly On Absinthe: “@Bill Craig If you’re really up for staying as objective as we can: “have no valid historical claim to the…” Jun 5, 21:01
TURABDIN on Ball Of Confusion: “THE ANAGRAM of REFORM is former, i.e belonging to an earlier time. just like its supporters.” Jun 5, 20:43
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Why genocide is brilliant: ““I’ve been a loyal reader and fan of this blog for well over a decade, but I’m done. Our government…” Jun 5, 19:54
Rev. Stuart Campbell on A Butterfly On Absinthe: ““Stu, I’m surprised and disappointed in your remarks on this issue.” Seems to me what you have an issue with…” Jun 5, 19:50
David on Ball Of Confusion: “The Protestants of Larkhall need something to cheer about tonight. They’ve just hired Russell Martin – a vegan Buddhist footballer…” Jun 5, 18:46
twathater on Ball Of Confusion: “I think the daily rectum is going for a reverse psychological position to voters, denigrate the man whilst shoving his…” Jun 5, 18:43
Hatey McHateface on Why genocide is brilliant: “Ah ken fit ye mean, Donald. The Humous boys could end the ongoing genocide by the weekend. But they don’t…” Jun 5, 18:15
Hatey McHateface on Why genocide is brilliant: “It’s not blokes revealing their “fangs” in supposedly safe places that our women folk are concerned about. It seems clear…” Jun 5, 18:06
Skip_NC on Ball Of Confusion: “You’re just trolling “Jammies” Kelly now, aren’t you, Stu? The paragraph that begins “If there’s anyone in Hamilton…,” is just…” Jun 5, 18:06
sarah on Ball Of Confusion: “If a very low turnout we might know the result before 11.00 tonight!” Jun 5, 18:05
Captain Caveman on Why genocide is brilliant: ““an in Scots – yer nivver ower auld tae lairn!” No, Alf, that’s not “Scots”, that’s English mate. Albeit with…” Jun 5, 17:24
agent x on Ball Of Confusion: “We will know the result in the morning. Will be interesting.” Jun 5, 17:11
robertkknight on And No Great Mischief Should They Fall: ““If the majority of Scots wanted independence they simply need to vote for it overwhelmingly” Are you suggesting 50%+1 isn’t…” Jun 5, 17:03
Northcode on And No Great Mischief Should They Fall: ““The Scottish independence movement, Liberate Scotland, Salvo, Liberation.Scot…” Should have read: “Professor Alf Baird, The Scottish independence movement, Liberate Scotland,…” Jun 5, 16:54
Northccode on And No Great Mischief Should They Fall: ““The Scottish independence movement, Liberate Scotland, Salvo, Liberation.Scot…” Should have read: “Professor Alf Baird, The Scottish independence movement, Liberate Scotland,…” Jun 5, 16:52
Alf Baird on Why genocide is brilliant: “an in Scots – yer nivver ower auld tae lairn!” Jun 5, 16:48
PhilM on Ball Of Confusion: “Perhaps we need to petition the parliament to consider legislation to ban Graeme Souness and anyone with a similar bubble…” Jun 5, 16:43
Cuphook on Ball Of Confusion: “By the weekend we’ll see articles from the usual guardians of the discourse likening the SNP and Reform and denouncing…” Jun 5, 16:21
Northcode on And No Great Mischief Should They Fall: ““…independence is the number one priority for the Scottish people and enjoys 99% support across the country.” I didn’t think…” Jun 5, 16:15
Aidan on Ball Of Confusion: “Purdah doesn’t mean that media organisations have to remain politically neutral in the run up to an election. It just…” Jun 5, 16:08
Mark Beggan on Ball Of Confusion: “Souness used to be called something else if I remember correctly. It rhymes with meaness but begins with a P.” Jun 5, 16:05
sarah on Ball Of Confusion: “Don’t purdah rules apply to Holyrood elections? Or are all votes in Scotland free of purdah rules, as in 2014…” Jun 5, 15:38
diabloandco on Why genocide is brilliant: “Blimey Alf , you have your very own James Kelly to contend with , seems all he ,she or it…” Jun 5, 15:12
lothianlad on Why genocide is brilliant: “off topic question…. whats the connection with sturgeon, irons and lavander sheets?” Jun 5, 14:55
Alf Baird on Why genocide is brilliant: “Fear is why the national party sought its ‘accommodation with colonialism’ (Fanon) and became ‘neutral’ on independence, causing the rupture…” Jun 5, 14:25
Bill Craig on A Butterfly On Absinthe: “Stu, I’m surprised and disappointed in your remarks on this issue. Zionist Israel wants the land, all of it, not…” Jun 5, 14:17
