This is amazing, readers. It’s an extract from this afternoon’s The Big Debate on Radio Scotland, in which a journalist – the BBC’s Gordon Brewer – finally gets round to asking someone from Scottish Labour how they can make the extra £500m they need to fund their tax-credits “policy” while keeping all taxes the same.
You might have to listen through a few times to get your head round it, because that really is what a grown woman actually tried to get away with in front of a live audience.
A convention of the world’s finest satirists pulling a 24-hour shift on Red Bull couldn’t come up with anything to beat Labour’s position on renewing the UK’s Trident nuclear weapons system. Following an overwhelming vote at the Scottish Labour conference this afternoon, these are the current cut-out-and-keep standings:
Even the alertest readers will probably already be confused by the baffling tale of Douglas and Jacqueline Wright, who sold their home to Edinburgh West MP Michelle Thomson. We certainly were last night, but on delving a little more into the media coverage of their story, things got a whole lot worse.
Older readers may remember an ITV show called The Krypton Factor, which had an “observation round” section in which contestants were shown a short video clip and then asked a series of questions about it.
Ever since the SNP’s unexpected majority in 2011, there’s been a constant low-level whine of “one-party state” from various elements of the Unionist establishment. (The first example we could find from a quick Google search was Liberal Democrat buffoon Sir Malcolm Bruce in September of that year.)
It’s a curiously bitter and irrational way to refer to the outcome of democratic elections held under proportional representation, reflecting a worrying contempt for the views of voters, but after the SNP saw the benefits of First Past The Post in May 2015 (having spent decades being its victim), the angry bleating has become far more noticeable.
(The most recent politician to use the phrase was the Lib Dems’ current leader Tim Farron. Perhaps the party is engaging in displacement activity to distract itself from its craven abandonment in 2010 of its lifelong commitment to introduce PR, selling its principles cheaply for ministerial cars and a referendum on what Nick Clegg called the “miserable little compromise” of AV, which was then lost by a humiliating margin.)
And that’s all very well, but not exactly stop-the-presses stuff – nobody reading this site is going to be terribly surprised at Scottish Labour being caught out in a lie. But the party’s house newspaper the Daily Record went for a subtly different angle on the story that did manage to provoke us to raise an eyebrow.
Angus on Strike One: “The judge who made this judgement has zero integrity and credibility and must be sacked.” Dec 12, 05:41
Peter McAvoy on The ginger stepchild: “It looks like the SNP support for Independence is Not Proven and will soon disappear like the legal safeguard they…” Dec 12, 02:09
Steve a on Strike One: “Poor poor judge keep. I’m reminded of something I read recently. The more eggs you put in your one basket……” Dec 12, 00:34
KITTYBEE on Spoiler Alert: “Well this judge holds the Supreme Court in Contempt. He has to go!!” Dec 12, 00:00
Sarah Walker on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Brilliant work: thank you. Interesting that paragraph 879 implies Upton has a protected belief that he’s a woman. Gender critical…” Dec 11, 23:42
PC Foster on Strike One: “Twathater- you could not be more right. lets ensure that Sandie Peggie can take this all the way up to…” Dec 11, 23:16
robertkknight on The ginger stepchild: “Frankly my dear, not a shit will be given either way. The SNP are charlatans in tartan suits selling snake…” Dec 11, 22:19
BLMac on Strike One: “This sort of judgement is reminiscent of what happened in Queensland a few decades ago. As it turned out the…” Dec 11, 22:13
Tommo on Strike One: “This is truly an amazing piece of forensic dissection (by the Editor and a few others) of a piece of…” Dec 11, 22:05
willie on The ginger stepchild: “Sixth on the list is crime. But what is crime and what is the perception of what crime actually is.…” Dec 11, 22:04
Bilbo on Strike One: “It could be the bias built into the AI Chatbot used. I’ve played about with a few of these AI…” Dec 11, 21:58
Andy Wiltshire on Strike One: “Quite right – it used to be English hats off to the Scottish legal and educational systems. No more.” Dec 11, 21:54
Andy Wiltshire on Strike One: “Don’t let them buy you off though, Rev.” Dec 11, 21:52
Bilbo on The ginger stepchild: “Hardly surprising that the SNP voters are not interested in independence because the support the SNP for a wide variety…” Dec 11, 21:51
Ex President Xiden on Strike One: “Jackasses are going to jackass.” Dec 11, 21:43
Iain More on The ginger stepchild: “SNP are just another Yoon Party now.” Dec 11, 21:12
Geoff Anderson on Strike One: “£400k spent on the KC by NHS Fife. https://x.com/_RebeccaMcCurdy/status/1999055522188943455?s=20” Dec 11, 21:07
Alf Baird on The ginger stepchild: “The only in-credible thing here is the vast GDP-per-capita gap between a much poorer yet resource-rich Scotland and near neighbour…” Dec 11, 20:48
Geoff Anderson on Strike One: “https://x.com/newsandpics/status/1999194291365683484?s=20” Dec 11, 20:21
Emma Brooker on Strike One: “Was the judge actually three chimps in a wig and gown bashing away on a typewriter?” Dec 11, 20:16
robertkknight on The ginger stepchild: “The SNP is NOT the party of Independence any more… Any member who cared about Indy is long gone, leaving…” Dec 11, 19:52
Geoff Anderson on Strike One: “Now we know why…… https://x.com/iwontwheesht/status/1999180012893929938?s=20” Dec 11, 19:41
Northcode on The ginger stepchild: “The problem, TH, is that if Liberate Scotland gets TOO much attention and – God forbid- gets the mass backing…” Dec 11, 19:39
Mark Beggan on Strike One: “Let’s play Judges and Lawyers. Unsuitable for under fives.” Dec 11, 19:28
Mark Beggan on The ginger stepchild: “We’ll cut aff oor noses to spite those English bastards faces. That’s them telt. Bastards. Soar Giro!” Dec 11, 19:27
David Holden on Strike One: “Sadly I am old enough to remember when Scottish law was given a level of respect even from South of…” Dec 11, 19:24
Lewis Moonie on Strike One: “Anyone ever seen a trans woman who didn’t stick out like a sore thumb? Me neither” Dec 11, 18:58
Hatey McHateface on The ginger stepchild: “Perhaps the pollsters were unaware women are allowed to vote. Perhaps when the pollsters asked people, the men refused to…” Dec 11, 18:48
Geoff Anderson on Strike One: “I think this one needs a detailed explanation from the judge https://x.com/anyabike/status/1999121983481536635?s=20” Dec 11, 18:45
Lorncal on Strike One: “It seems to me to be far too accurate in its misinterpretations and unsound quotes to be purely AI or…” Dec 11, 18:41
