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Unsolvable paradox solved 97

Posted on June 24, 2014 by

Here’s “Better Together” communications director Rob Shorthouse this morning:

bungalowdebate

And here’s the Telegraph this evening (our emphasis):

“Plans for the first proposed Scottish independence TV debate between Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling have collapsed in acrimony following a row over the date.

The pro-UK Better Together campaign withdrew from the contest, complaining that STV was allowing the First Minister to dictate when the show would be broadcast.”

We’re always willing to believe that “Better Together” are lying, because they usually are. We’re always willing to believe the Telegraph is lying, because it usually is. But on this occasion, ONE of them must be telling the truth. Frankly, readers, we have no idea what to think.

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Heads for figures 125

Posted on June 24, 2014 by

Last week the Press & Journal carried a story about a debate held at the Aberdeen Exhibition & Conference Centre, attended by just over 150 company directors, senior managers and other “business leaders”. The debate was between John Swinney and Danny Alexander (with contributions from Professor David Bell and businesswoman Christine O’Neill), followed by a poll carried out among the audience.

swinneyalexander

The No-friendly headline figures – which will come of no surprise to anyone who has ever read the Press & Journal – said 68% of the audience would be voting No at the end of the debate, with 16% Yes and 15% still unsure (1 person said they wouldn’t be voting. Maybe they walked into the wrong room at the start or something.)

That sounds like a pretty comprehensive win for No, so we should probably all just pack up our stuff and concede defeat.

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Positive case finally unveiled 160

Posted on June 24, 2014 by

And this time we’re not being sarcastic. We were bemused yesterday when a number of people on Twitter started swapping referendum-based jokes about Stanley Baxter, who for younger readers used to be some sort of pantomime star and vaudeville performer. The jokes were explained today when it was revealed, to our considerable surprise, that Mr Baxter was in fact still alive and urging a No vote in the referendum.

baxter

Baxter, who left Scotland 55 years ago and told the Times that he now returns only for “the odd funeral”, nevertheless felt able to assert from these occasional visits that support for a Yes vote was founded in hatred for the English from simple-witted Scots who “don’t know any better” caused by “Braveheart” and hey, stay awake at the back there because we’re coming to the important bit.

And that’s that the comedian, who made a career out of telling TV viewers that the people of Glasgow had hilarious incomprehensible accents in need of translating into proper English, also went on to (no doubt impeccably) articulate the real reason, never previously spoken aloud, that the No campaign wants Scotland to stay part of the UK.

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A wider field of vision 193

Posted on June 23, 2014 by

Earlier today we reported the Edinburgh Evening News’ coverage of a study by Sheffield Hallam University which found that households across Edinburgh would lose an average of £780 each thanks to the coalition’s welfare cuts, with the worst-affected area – Craigmillar – likely to take an annual hit of £1,240 per household.

craigmillar

Today’s edition of the Daily Record has a prominent feature on the same survey, but chooses to focus on Glasgow rather than Edinburgh, and finds that things are even worse. Households in the poorest part of Glasgow – Calton, infamous for its low male life expectancies – stand to see a shocking £1,760 a year ripped out of their budget.

The Record being the Record, of course, it characterises the cuts – quite correctly – as being the responsibility of the Conservative/Lib Dem coalition. But then, weirdly, it asks a Labour MSP to comment on them.

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A letter from Quebec 227

Posted on June 23, 2014 by

As a French Quebecer belonging to a generation that was deeply influenced by Harry Potter, it was with great interest and concern that I read JK Rowling’s recent letter on why she opposes Scotland’s independence.

quebec

Of herself and her fellow Scots, she justly writes that “whatever Scotland decides, we will probably find ourselves justifying our choice to our grandchildren.”

Well, I’m one of those grandchildren previous generations now find themselves having to justify their decisions to, and I can tell you how it went for us.

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The language of priorities 83

Posted on June 23, 2014 by

The Edinburgh Evening News, today:

“Families across the Capital are facing a £780 cut to their annual income following a shake-up of the benefits system, new research has revealed.

Welfare reforms being brought in at Westminster are set to suck £130 million out of the city’s economy – equivalent to £390 for every working-age adult.

The study – produced by experts at Sheffield Hallam University – reveals parents collecting child benefit are most likely to see cuts in their payments while those on incapacity benefit will see the steepest yearly reductions of up to £145. And it has emerged that some of Edinburgh’s poorest areas will suffer the most.

The average family in Craigmillar – the worst-hit neighbourhood in Edinburgh – will lose out on £1240 per year once the full range of reforms are introduced.

But significant losses will be felt even in the city’s most affluent districts, with each family in the Meadows-Morningside ward set to shoulder an average annual hit of £440.”

Well, as long as the poor people are suffering three times as much as the rich people, and the disabled are being hit hardest of all, clearly coalition policy is working as intended. Of course, if Labour get in, it’ll be different – they plan even MORE welfare cuts than the Tories, and they’re proud of it. If you can’t work, you’re dead weight.

We didn’t quite grasp the meaning of the phrase “we’re all in this together” when David Cameron said it before, but we think we’ve got it now.

A flash of perspective 131

Posted on June 23, 2014 by

Professor Patrick Dunleavy of the London School of Economics, a man with absolutely no dog in the Scottish independence fight, has now published his detailed assessment of the set-up costs of an independent Scotland.

He puts the actual additional cost – that is, what Scotland would have to spend that it wouldn’t have to spend anyway if it stayed in the UK – at around £200m. That’s the total, not every year, and is somewhat below the UK government’s own “estimate” of £2.7bn, issued just three weeks ago to widespread derision.

For comparison purposes that’s very roughly what Scotland spends on the upkeep of Trident nuclear submarines every year (our share of the £2.24bn annual cost), but as the Unionist parties constantly complain that Scotland’s savings on Trident get spent several times over by Yes supporters, we thought we’d come up with an alternative.

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The foreign danger 170

Posted on June 22, 2014 by

We are not making this up. This is not a spoof.

nobforeign

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They are not like us 162

Posted on June 22, 2014 by

This is from today’s Scottish Sun. (Click to enlarge.)

murdo25

Murdo Fraser actually thinks that houses getting 25% more expensive while wages grow by just 0.7% is a GOOD thing. He really believes that “It’ll cost an extra £23,000 to buy a house if you vote No” is a plus point for staying in the UK.

That’s all we’ve got on that one, folks.

The false borders 281

Posted on June 21, 2014 by

The second weekend in June played host to the Selkirk Common Riding, the oldest of the Ridings events in the Scottish Borders. For the uninitiated, this centuries-old tradition incorporates a series of festivities in the town, the centrepiece of which is a cavalcade of several hundred horses galloping around the perimeter of the Royal Burgh, ensuring the town’s ancient boundaries are in good order (ie that no pesky Sassenachs have invaded the territory).

Despite being raised in the nearby village of Ashkirk and attending Selkirk High School, I was never interested in the Riding. Even in primary school whilst being taught the lyrics to “Auld Selkirk” and “Hail Smilin Morn” it didn’t seem relevant – I only went to my first ride-out last year because my Polish girlfriend was intrigued.

selkirkjack

That’s when the penny dropped.

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The short walk to democracy 109

Posted on June 21, 2014 by

hamishconst

(Story, just in case you missed it in this week’s media “cybernat” horror orgy.)

Don’t tell them your name, Pike 297

Posted on June 20, 2014 by

If you’re not on Twitter, readers, you’ve been missing ALL the fun today.

daillylist2

Above are just the creepiest two of a series of tweets posted this morning by “social justice campaigner” Mike Dailly of the Govan Law Centre – previously known to those of this parish – to the effect that he’d really rather prefer if people stopped following my personal Twitter account, @RevStu, because I was so all-around awful.

It didn’t work out quite as well as he’d hoped.

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