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You can have this one for nothing 58

Posted on July 14, 2013 by

Dear “Better Together”,

Today I, a Scotsman, travelled from England to Wales to buy some Irish chocolate. This might not be possible if Scotland becomes independent. (Of course there isn’t any conceivable reason for that to be the case, but – as you know only too clearly – if you put the word “might” in front of scare stories nobody can say you’re actually lying.)

idm2a

Feel free to use that one. DON’T LET ALEX SALMOND STEAL MY SWEETS.

Considerable restraint exercised 42

Posted on July 14, 2013 by

We were passed this Scottish Government document through our sinister network of cyber-agents, from an operative who wished to remain anonynous. It’s a list of official complaints made about inaccurate and misleading articles in newspapers since the 2011 Holyrood election. As we’re talking about bias today, we offer it up for your perusal and interest. We’re only surprised it’s so short.

Man bites duck 73

Posted on July 14, 2013 by

The Times got rather huffy with Alex Salmond this week, when in a speech at a Nigg engineering yard the First Minister made the not-entirely-controversial suggestion (or in the Times’ view, “an unprecedented attack”) that the Scottish and UK printed press was biased against the independence movement.

timesbias

(Or, as the irony-bereft paper impartially put it, “him and his plans for separation”.)

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Welcome to the future 96

Posted on July 13, 2013 by

The Herald publishes a rather interesting story today, revealing that according to professional media analysts Brandwatch, almost three quarters of social media users in Scotland are planning to vote Yes in the referendum.

brandwatch

(For some reason the Herald chose to publish the piece under the headline “Davey doubts Scotland will reach green energy target”, which we’ll put down to the heat, and to emphasise the notion that the high level of support was “despite” the SNP.)

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Photobombing for beginners 114

Posted on July 13, 2013 by

Scottish nationalist style:

salmondbomb

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Quoted for truth #23 131

Posted on July 12, 2013 by

Former Labour MEP Hugh Kerr in the Herald, 12 Jun 2013:

“I am on holiday in Denmark and independence is the topic all Danes want to discuss when they learn you are from Scotland. I have met no-one yet who is opposed to Scotland’s independence. One said to me yesterday: ‘Surely it is natural to want to run your own affairs, we certainly wouldn’t want to be run by Sweden.’

I have also discussed it with some former colleagues from the European Parliament who are certain Scotland would be warmly welcomed as members of all European institutions; as one put it: ‘After all, you have been members of the EU for 40 years, you are hardly going to be excluded now’.”

To be honest, readers, if Scotland votes No in 2014 our main life priority is going to be developing a convincing Welsh or Irish accent. It’d just be far too embarrassing and depressing to constantly have to try to explain it to the rest of the world otherwise.

Do you agree? 57

Posted on July 12, 2013 by

Alistair Darling’s gremlin-plagued “positive case for the Union” speech in Glasgow yesterday, even leaving aside the weakness of its tired, reheated arguments (basically the same old “We cannae dae it” doom and gloom resprayed with an atom-thin coat of All-New Positivitrex!) might be the most boring thing we’ve ever read.

It drones on for a soul-sapping 26 pages and we can’t imagine how long it must have seemed when you were stuck in the room hearing it in Darling’s querulous, vexatious voice, but there’s one saving grace: the graphs. There are no fewer than 23 frequently-incomprehensible boxes, charts and diagrams, of which this is our favourite.

btgraph

We’re not sure they’ve quite grasped how polling works.

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Take a look at what you could have won 52

Posted on July 12, 2013 by

We’ve been substantially updating yesterday’s feature on the financial strength of an independent Scotland, based on the calculations by the pro-Union economist Prof. Brian Ashcroft. Thanks to the readers who pointed out some of the finer detail.

speedboat

The results, we think you’ll agree, are pretty breathtaking.

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Massive oil leak discovered 184

Posted on July 11, 2013 by

We have a bit more respect for Professor Brian Ashcroft than most of the No camp’s scaremongers (indeed, we’ve even run an article of his on Wings Over Scotland), so we looked with interest at the latest entry on his blog yesterday, a piece with the fairly self-explanatory title of  “Has Scotland already spent its oil fund?”

norwayfund

It purports to examine what Scotland’s financial position would have been had it been independent for the last 32 years, in response to a Scottish Government document (which was backed up by fullfact.org) showing that Scotland had been a large net contributor to the UK over the period, but arrives at a bizarrely tangential conclusion.

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A helping hand 90

Posted on July 11, 2013 by

You’re not too late to catch Alistair Darling’s latest unveiling of “the positive case for the Union” via a live webcast on the “Better Together” website this morning. As we write he’s 10 minutes late, and the audience is rocketing towards triple figures.

darlingbingo

We’re all playing bingo. Come and join us.

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Breaking insanity news 179

Posted on July 10, 2013 by

If we’d seen this 15 minutes earlier, we’d have made it the And Finally… story instead of the GTA V picture. To be honest, we’re still kinda rubbing our eyes and not quite believing it. Did we just get invaded before we were even a country?

Like a hurricane 20

Posted on July 10, 2013 by

For those of you who stubbornly STILL don’t follow us on Twitter, this is our favourite still from the trailer for Grand Theft Auto V, the latest instalment in the blockbuster series from splendid Edinburgh-based videogame developers Rockstar North.

bawsaq

(This is AF #54, if you’re keeping track. We know we weren’t.)

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    • Bilbo on Still Time To Save Her: “Funny how there are sections of our society that has called on the Supreme court ruling about women to be…” Oct 13, 21:29
    • Bilbo on Still Time To Save Her: “These constant constitutional conversations are interesting when they are done on a civil basis but the reality is that they…” Oct 13, 21:11
    • Aidan on Still Time To Save Her: “As you know Alf – the Supreme Court is a superior court to the inner house (before we get into…” Oct 13, 20:09
    • Alf Baird on Still Time To Save Her: ““on ending the sovereignty of the Parliament of the United Kingdom over Scotland” Ignorance and wishful thinking on the part…” Oct 13, 19:56
    • Aidan on Still Time To Save Her: “Agreed Northcode – happy to let others decide, we’ve put our respective cases forward” Oct 13, 19:08
    • Northcode on Still Time To Save Her: “Thanks for the exchange. I think we’re reading the judgment differently, and that’s fine — the Supreme Court’s reasoning is…” Oct 13, 16:21
    • Aidan on Still Time To Save Her: “Sorry Northcode – you need to go back and read the case again in detail. What you are saying there…” Oct 13, 15:49
    • Northcode on Still Time To Save Her: “I think there’s a misunderstanding here about what the Supreme Court actually decided. The Court did describe a referendum as…” Oct 13, 15:15
    • Hatey McHateface on Still Time To Save Her: “sarah, have you tried using the “Contact” button at top of page?” Oct 13, 14:58
    • Hatey McHateface on Still Time To Save Her: “Frightening that people still have belief in the criminal justice system, isn’t it. Commit a serious sexual assault on a…” Oct 13, 14:52
    • sarah on Still Time To Save Her: “Rev, please re-post on here your article of 13th October 2024, “The Giant”. It will be a comfort to true…” Oct 13, 14:42
    • Anthem on Still Time To Save Her: “I hope you’re including Reform in that H.” Oct 13, 14:39
    • Aidan on Still Time To Save Her: “@Northcode – again that is objectively untrue, the Supreme Court did not say that the proposed referendum could not be…” Oct 13, 13:54
    • Hatey McHateface on Still Time To Save Her: ““curtailing them as the foreigners in their own Countries” There’s only one political party in with a shout of being…” Oct 13, 13:40
    • Hatey McHateface on Still Time To Save Her: “Always amusing to see Confused praising the Norwegians whilst simultaneously lambasting those who believe defense is a key government priority.…” Oct 13, 13:22
    • Northcode on Still Time To Save Her: “For clarity. Holyrood cannot legislate a binding referendum. But Holyrood can hold a consultative referendum — the Supreme Court did…” Oct 13, 13:17
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    • Confused on Still Time To Save Her: “THE TELEGRAPH RUNS THE SAME STORY about 3 times a week – a budget “black hole” which means we should…” Oct 13, 12:39
    • Captain Caveman on Still Time To Save Her: “”because it is fucking stupid. Nicely summed up. TURABDIN gives Sixth Formers a bad name, and is attempting to write…” Oct 13, 12:28
    • Southernbystander on Still Time To Save Her: “It is with posts like this that you reveal your profound ignorance of the people of these islands Turabdin, how…” Oct 13, 12:15
    • Captain Caveman on Still Time To Save Her: “@Dan As I have said to you before, disagreeing with someone or pointing at the paucity of their outlandish/inaccurate claims…” Oct 13, 12:02
    • Captain Caveman on Still Time To Save Her: ““You said you’ve paid millions in taxes yet you spend a lot of your time posting on a blog about…” Oct 13, 11:51
    • willie on Still Time To Save Her: “I see Neale Hanvey ex SNP and Alba MP has made a tweet about a period of up to seven…” Oct 13, 11:32
    • James Che on Still Time To Save Her: “Hatey, It needs all the peoples to not recognise the legality of the SNP and the devolved parliament from Westminster.…” Oct 13, 10:52
    • James Che on Still Time To Save Her: “It is not Scotland protecting Nicola Sturgeon or John Swinney, Englands Westminster parliament [ Scotland Act ] is under the…” Oct 13, 10:17
    • TURABDIN on Still Time To Save Her: “My last on the soi disant Bayeux Tapestry, not technically a tapestry but a refined piece of needlework by anglosaxon…” Oct 13, 10:16
    • Hatey McHateface on Still Time To Save Her: “Then again, James, might is right. If you believe that the SNP government is illegal, then you should really live…” Oct 13, 09:51
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