We stumbled across this old quote from a Daily Record interview with Ed Miliband earlier while we were doing something else, and we hadn’t heard it before. It’s from just after he was elected Labour leader, and it struck as us a little odd. See if you agree.
If you’ve just found yourself thinking “If you don’t have any plans to move Britain to the left, then WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING AS THE LEADER OF THE LABOUR PARTY, YOU SIMPERING NEO-TORY HALFWIT? WHAT IN GOD’S NAME IS THE LABOUR PARTY FOR IF IT’S NOT TO MOVE BRITAIN TO THE BLOODY LEFT?” then don’t panic, gentle viewer – you’re not alone. God help us all.
There can surely have been no real doubt that the SFA was going to (at least) uphold the ban on Rangers registering any new players for a year. Having just published a 63-page dossier setting out in meticulous and crushing detail the severity of the club’s crimes, the Association would have set some sort of world record for “All-Time Largest Rod For Your Own Back” had they then backed down on the punishment.
What occurs to us, though, is that the upholding of the ban makes it considerably more likely that a Newco Rangers (which has to be the only plausible future – a CVA is purest delusional fantasy) will be admitted directly to the SPL.
The league’s nightmare scenario is New Rangers winning the title in 2012/13, because then they really will be seen to have gotten away with everything. If the club is forced to field a team of old journeymen and fresh-faced teens that gets a lot less likely, and the gutless SPL chairmen will probably feel that the Ibrox side will be sufficiently humbled by a few seasons of mid-table finishes that their own clubs might just avert a disastrous boycott from angry fans, while still clinging onto the Sky Sports deal.
We’re not sure they’d be right in that assumption, but we suspect it’s one they might make anyway, and that tonight’s events will strengthen their belief in it. Time will tell.
We mean Bing Hitler, of course. The First Minister recently gave a special interview to The Late Late Show in the US, which was broadcast last night, in which he warmly and repeatedly praises Mr Hitler – or if we’re being strictly accurate his alter-ego, the show’s Scottish presenter Craig Ferguson – at around the two-minute mark. (And in fairness, Labour actually haven’t found a way to be furious about it yet as far as we know, but as sure as night follows day they will soon. Probably the usual torn-faced bleating about the FM having the temerity to gallivant around on telly when he could be out personally filling in potholes in Pollokshields or something.)
Anyway, Wings over Scotland is proud to present the world-exclusive first UK airing, extracted from the complete show by our own fair hands:
It’s actually a pretty interesting and intelligent interview by chat-show standards (and especially considering the normally irreverent tone of TLLS), and was preceded by a nice piece about the Declaration Of Arbroath, which is discussed throughout. Sadly, though, we couldn’t possibly condone the flagrant breaching of copyright by giving you a link to download the (excellent) entire episode, or we’d be extradited and put in jail forever. Thanks for THAT ace bit of modern progressive lawmaking, Labour!
Sometimes – okay, quite often – I'm rather jealous of my good chums over on the world-conquering PC gaming site/shopping list Rock, Papers, Hot Gun. I enviously eye their devoted millions-strong audience, weighty peer credibility and enormous paycheques, and think "If only Podgamer could have lasted more than three and a half hours without everyone stabbing each other", and other such wistful regrets.
Then I remember that if I was on RPS I'd have had to devote part of my one precious and irreplaceable life to playing Diablo 3, and everything's alright again.
A few of my favourite lines from this morning's Eurogamer coverage:
"What all the Diablo 3 Error messages mean, and what to do about them"
"UK launch video, images, Iain Lee, people in wizard costumes"
"Though the downloader may show 100%, please allow some time for it to fully complete."
"The server is full. This is likely due to high login traffic. The only solution is to keep trying to log in."
"If you're still running into this issue, there may be an error in your foreign language appdata files. Some players have found a workaround, but please be aware the steps they provide are not something we can currently support."
"Error 3004, 3006, 3007, or 300008 – There are a number of possible causes for these errors."
The future of videogaming, there, viewers. No thanks.
We’ve noticed, and perhaps you have too, that things have been very quiet on the “positive case for the Union” front recently. (Partly, we suspect, because the constant hooting of nationalists over its continued absence was starting to become so loud and embarrassing that even the Unionist media couldn’t keep ignoring it.)
Ever since David Cameron visited Scotland in February and mumbled some vague platitudes about maybe getting more powers someday if we voted No in 2014, Unionists seem to have given up on even promising a “positive” case and have concentrated more doggedly than ever on the blood-curdling scare tactics that they’re much more familiar and comfortable with.
(Recent weeks have delivered a particularly fine crop, which can be concisely and accurately summed up by the sentence “Vote Yes and Scotland will be blown up by terrorists and bombed by England, then everyone left will die of cancer.”)
We’ve spotted a couple of stray mentions – neither of which, it probably goes without saying, go on to actually offer the positive case they cite – but nothing very significant:
That was until today, however. Our regular bout of hope-over-expectation Googling threw up a site called “Free Advice For Unionists”, in which someone by the name of Rob Marrs who lays claim to no fewer than THREE nationalities (Scottish, English and British) boldly attempted to go where no Unionist had gone before.
The sheer speed and barely-concealed enthusiasm with which Scottish Labour has reverted to its true neo-liberal type given even the slightest sniff of any kind of electoral success has been startling. Having gained a few dozen seats, almost all from the Lib Dems, in the council elections, the party has lurched back to the centre-right positions it occupied before the 2011 Holyrood parliamentary election, having abandoned several of them in the run-up to that vote in a desperate attempt to avert defeat.
We’ve already seen Johann Lamont doggedly refuse to oppose the renewal of Trident, and Glagow council leader Gordon Matheson prepare to backtrack on years of anti-sectarian progress by allowing the Orange Order to greatly increase its toxic presence on the city’s streets (a prime example of the Bain Principle at work, in the wake of the SNP’s controversial Offensive Behaviour At Football Act – if the SNP are taking steps to tackle sectarianism, Labour must take steps to encourage it, however insane that is or whatever their previous policy might have been).
And last week we saw a party whose 2011 manifesto opened with the dire warning “Now that the Tories are back” take every possible opportunity to jump into bed with the Tories in councils all over the country, giving the lie to the constantly-pushed official media narrative that the SNP and Labour are two near-identical centre-left social-democratic parties separated only by their disagreement over independence.
(Since the constitution is outwith the remit of councils, you might therefore imagine that Labour-SNP coalitions would be the norm all over the country, aimed at fighting savage Tory cuts together while Holyrood argues about the referendum, but Labour seems far more concerned with battling the nationalists rather than the right-wing Coalition and its increasingly discredited austerity programme.)
So perhaps nobody ought to be surprised that at the weekend Johann Lamont decided to test public opinion by suggesting that Scottish Labour – which is currently strangely at odds with the UK party on the subject – might once again abandon its opposition to university tuition fees.
The referendum on Scottish independence has raised more than a question on what the future constitution of the United Kingdom and Scotland will look like – it’s raised an issue of who should have the ability to decide. This is a far more fundamental point, and the core principle of democracy that we hold dear is dependent on the outcome.
In 2014 Scotland will decide to maintain the UK or to dissolve it. The possibilities that stem from the decision will shape our future, but a battle is currently raging between power and democracy for control of that choice.
Democracy depends fundamentally on the minority accepting the wishes of the majority, but first requires that it be established what it’s a majority of. Numerous commentators have raised the objection that since a vote for independence would affect the entire UK, then residents of England, Wales and Northern Ireland should also be entitled to vote. Others have raised the issue of whether Scots not currently resident in Scotland should be part of the franchise.
To find out who should properly decide the outcome of the referendum, we need to look at the agreements whose continued existence is at stake, ie the Treaty and Acts of Union themselves.
We don’t know if anyone still reads the BBC’s “Blether With Brian” column since the Corporation banned Scottish readers – uniquely in these islands – from posting comments on it, nor can we normally think of a reason why anyone would. It’s generally the blandest-possible summary of events people have already seen for themselves, with no effort to impart any sort of insight or analysis.
However, once in a while the understated approach yields a more profoundly powerful result than screeds of polemic, and we can think of no way to better illustrate the bizarreness of Johann Lamont’s chosen line of attack at yesterday’s First Minister’s Questions than to simply relate the events as they transpired, in the most neutral and factual manner, as the national broadcaster’s Scottish political editor does today.
Stranger still was Brian’s citation of Fat Les in support of his assertion, but other than to wistfully dwell for a moment on our long-held dream of Scottish fans repurposing the song in question with the words “Irn Bru” replacing the title, we’ll let that one pass.
Since we’ve already been nice to a journalist today, it seems only fair to also send out a little bit of love to the press corps’ less-celebrated and much-maligned brothers in arms – the photographers. (We don’t know why we’re being so pleasant to everyone all of a sudden. We think someone may have slipped something in our tea.)
Rangers FC has been in administration since Valentine’s Day. That’s three long months in which the story has featured in the news pretty much every single day, and it’s not a situation that lends itself particularly well to illustration. One picture of a Duff & Phelps press conference looks much like another, and once you’ve knocked out the traditional broken-club-crest it starts to get tricky to find a fresh visual angle.
The nation’s photo-journalists have risen heroically to the challenge, though, and we feel irresistibly compelled to take a moment out from our day to offer them a heartfelt and genuine salute, before whatever this stuff is wears off.
Alert readers may have noticed a certain undercurrent of cynicism about the Scottish political media in this blog on occasion. But now and again you have to put all sarcasm aside and take your hat off to a professional who bangs the nail straight in with one swing of the hammer. Today it’s Iain Macwhirter in the Herald, who thankfully seems to be returning to form after his Murdoch-inspired red mist of recent weeks.
“‘It’s the big question of separation,’ said the Stirling Labour group leader, Corrie McChord, when asked why he was unable to form a coalition with the SNP – a party which he accepted had almost identical social policies to Labour.
Now, I may be missing something here, but I wasn’t aware that Stirling Council was in danger of separating from the United Kingdom. Why the independence referendum should have had such a decisive bearing on who runs council refuse and leisure services in Stirling is not entirely clear. Perhaps Labour believe the Nats will put something in the water or plant separatist propaganda in the wheelie bins.
Whatever, it seems that Labour think they have more in common with the party that wants to privatise most council services than the party that wants to use them as a bulwark against the austerity plans of, er, the Conservative-led Coalition in Westminster.”
We couldn’t have put it better, or more concisely. As Labour chum up with the Tories across the country (Edinburgh looking like being the sole honourable exception), and the Glasgow party prepares (as widely rumoured by SNP supporters a couple of days beforehand) to set the Orange Order loose on the city’s streets in gratitude for their help, we can’t help but ask the hundreds of Labour activists whose efforts secured the party its better-than-expected result last week: “Is this what you worked so hard for?”
A&E departments all over Scotland were reportedly swamped by spinal-injury cases yesterday, resulting from the nation collectively falling off its seat in surprise as the Scottish Affairs Committee of Westminster MPs concluded that the SNP’s proposed referendum question (“Do you agree that Scotland should become an independent country?”) was biased. The committee, headed by delightful Labour MP Ian “I only meant I’d assault you physically, not sexually“ Davidson, decided after consulting a carefully-chosen panel of “experts” that a question posed by an SNP government might just be designed to increase support for independence.
We jest, obviously. In fact it’s not entirely unexpected that such a conclusion would be reached by an all-Unionist committee of Westminster MPs who would all lose their £200,000-a-year jobs in the event of a Yes vote and who are currently engaged in producing a document called “The Referendum on Separation for Scotland“. (No, we’re not kidding – it’s really called that, and therefore clearly an entirely neutral and impartial investigation.) But there’s an interesting angle to the committee’s findings that inexplicably doesn’t get a lot of media analysis.
Jason Smoothpiece on Yelling at the tide: “Harrumph Know your place man.” Jan 21, 22:37
Marie on Yelling at the tide: “I have as much confidence in the Scottish judiciary as I have in Scotland’s politicians – zero.” Jan 21, 22:19
sarah on Yelling at the tide: “@ Dave G: “Judge Susan Walker – a member of the Diversity Taskforce…set up by the Senior President of Tribunals.”…” Jan 21, 22:08
Scot Finlayson on Yelling at the tide: “If there was a choice,and the way the world is unravelling, who knows, would you rather be governed by Westminster…” Jan 21, 21:45
Hatey McHateface on The Secondhand Amendment: “I hate when everybody ignores your posts, Northy. Something about the pathos of it all makes me well up. You…” Jan 21, 20:41
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Really, Northy, buy a copy of Alf’s book? First, define the difference between sucking sycophancy and non-sucking sycophancy. Those of…” Jan 21, 20:30
Hatey McHateface on The Secondhand Amendment: “You’ve got the gas chambers and the incinerators, Confused. Let’s hope that’s enough to get Barbie back. This place just…” Jan 21, 19:52
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “@Alf Baird The “coloniser’s historic, economic and cultural needs” would have been best served by Alex Salmond being banged up.…” Jan 21, 19:43
Willie on Yelling at the tide: “Good stuff again Rev. Your letter to the Tribunal President brings into sharp focus the very grave issues of concern…” Jan 21, 19:38
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Sorry, Northy, you’ve already self-id-ed as a shit today. Self-id as a clown in a few days when the alert…” Jan 21, 19:34
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Cracker of a post, Twat H. No random caps anywhere. You must have been a good boy. Looks like Santa…” Jan 21, 19:26
twathater on Yelling at the tide: “I have no doubt Professor Baird that irrespective of what you post Hatey McFuckwit would have to comment on it…” Jan 21, 17:22
sarah on The Secondhand Amendment: “Andy Wiltshire: “Does the entire Scottish judicial system have membership of the same Edinburgh club?” Is this the New Club…” Jan 21, 17:14
Colin Alexander on Yelling at the tide: “Remember: In Scotland, Public body / professional body complaint processes are designed to fob you off and frustrate any attempts…” Jan 21, 17:12
Cynicus on Yelling at the tide: “Ian Smith says: “Bear in mind that AI can be prompted to agree with the type of query it is…” Jan 21, 16:57
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““What an utter clown you are “Northcode” And who was it who forced me to run away from home in…” Jan 21, 16:56
Lorna Campbell on Yelling at the tide: “No legislation in existence, in Scotland or the UK, gives any man the right to enter female spaces, even where…” Jan 21, 16:31
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: “And you, Father, are a total embarrassment… period. Not least because of your over-reliance on the exclamation mark and the…” Jan 21, 16:00
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““Give up son…” No, Father… I will never give up, I will never surrender. And know this, oh giver of…” Jan 21, 15:52
Insider on Yelling at the tide: “Christ ! What an utter clown you are “Northcode” Give up son ! You’re a total embarrassment to the Indy…” Jan 21, 15:15
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: “Here’s anither yin taken fae the online “Dictionars o the Scots Leid”: SIN, adv., prep., conj. Also syn, sen, san(e),…” Jan 21, 14:58
Alf Baird on Yelling at the tide: ““the Scottish Legal System operates in a context free vacuum” The basic principle of any colonial justice system is that…” Jan 21, 14:51
lothianlad on Yelling at the tide: “stick with it warrior Stu! Thank you for all you do for truth and justice” Jan 21, 14:49
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: “” We knew you would not disappoint us…” I wonder who the “we” and “us” are. Must be aw its…” Jan 21, 14:32
Andy Wiltshire on Yelling at the tide: “In reply to your letter, we undertake to give a response immediately after the conclusion of Operation Branchform.” Jan 21, 14:16
sarah on Yelling at the tide: “The plot thickens. Very well done, Rev, and thank you once again for trying, directly, to improve public standards in…” Jan 21, 13:53