We’ve just had a fascinating email from Scottish Labour forwarded to us, from a concerned reader who’d written to them to ask if Labour would really refuse to form a government if they weren’t the largest party. The answer might not be the one anyone who’s seen the party’s election literature (below) would be expecting.
Because almost nobody in Westminster, whether they’re politicians or the media, ever pays any attention to anything outside SW1A, Alex Salmond’s comment in London yesterday that the SNP would vote against any Tory government in the event of a hung Parliament – which to any Scottish person was news as surprising as a weather forecast for rain – has been greeted with seemingly-genuine shock and horror.
Reporter after reporter has treated the non-revelations (which have been official SNP policy for as long as we can remember, and were stated explicitly by Nicola Sturgeon in November) as a stunning bolt from the blue, and Tory politicians and the right-wing media alike have burst into frothing, spluttering rage, based on the fact that apparently none of them grasps how either the UK electoral system or basic arithmetic work.
We’ve had to illustrate this piece with a tweet from our old chum Duncan Hothersall, because at the time of writing the Scottish Labour account on Twitter has no mention of Labour’s “five point plan”, and nor does the branch office’s website.
And the reason for the absence of any more information is probably that the “plan” is another example of a Labour policy that looks like a tasty boiled egg until you crack its shell and discover that there’s nothing inside.
Respect to John MacKay of STV, who on last night’s Scotland Tonight asked Labour MSP James Kelly the question this site has called for about whether Labour would stand aside and let the Tories rule if the latter were the largest party after May’s election, but Labour had enough seats to win a confidence vote and form the government with backing from the SNP and/or other parties.
Kelly, unsurprisingly, flapped and blustered and totally evaded it. But then we doubt he has the authority to make the tea in Scottish Labour, let alone speak for the party on key policy issues. If the question isn’t put repeatedly by all of the media to more senior Labour figures until an answer is produced, we’ll be wanting to know why.
Here’s Ed Miliband, giving a speech this morning to literally at least 20 Labour MPs, Labour MSPs, journalists and possibly a stray member of the public who accidentally walked through the wrong door in Clydebank, a place where Labour leaders used to address gatherings of thousands.
Unusually, Miliband took a few questions from the hacks, all of whom promptly wasted the opportunity by lobbing completely pointless softballs about coalitions and deals, all of which (a) have been asked a hundred times already, (b) were rendered moot by Alex Salmond on the Marr show yesterday, and (c) were only ever going to be batted away non-committally.
So here’s an actually worthwhile one they can ask instead next time.
We have to give Jim Murphy credit – on this week’s Sunday Politics he started off with the subtle, misleading but technically-accurate version of Labour’s line about the “biggest party forming the government”, which involves making the true but irrelevant observation that in the past it’s usually been the case. (Mainly because UK elections almost always give the biggest party a comfortable majority.)
But it only took a couple of minutes of questioning for the Scottish branch manager to lose his cool and resort to the comprehensively debunked flat-out lie again.
We thought you’d enjoy this clip from this morning’s Andrew Marr Show, readers. It came after a very sensible interview, in which Salmond had calmly and reasonably laid out the SNP’s view on events should there be a hung parliament this May with the former First Minister’s party holding the balance of power.
Tory minister Anna Soubry seems to be experiencing a degree of regret about having begged Scots to stay in the UK. The body language says as much as the words.
twathater on The Tactics Of Suicide: “@ Geri that wee break you had away from the arseholes has did you good , you are on fire…” Feb 28, 15:47
robertkknight on Two Men Unalike: “We’re through the looking glass here people, what was “normal” is now subject to attack by social anarchists and trans-zealots.…” Feb 28, 15:20
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “3. & Do we need 3 guesses at the arsewipe(s) it refers to?” Feb 28, 15:15
Bob Johnston on Two Men Unalike: “This prompted me to go and watch Cathy Newman interviewing Jordan Peterson. It was remarkable, watching her tie herself up…” Feb 28, 15:14
willie on Two Men Unalike: “As is now emerging the National Stealth Service acting for and on behalf of the trans community. Health care is…” Feb 28, 15:07
TURABDIN on Two Men Unalike: “TWO MEN VERY ALIKE…. here’s to WW3 buddy!” Feb 28, 15:02
holymacmoses on Two Men Unalike: “That which you would destroy, you first drive mad” Feb 28, 14:59
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “The UK is always involved. & The poodles in the ME might be pro American but their populations aren’t &…” Feb 28, 14:57
sarah on Two Men Unalike: “If it didn’t happen so often, it would be unbelievable. What a dreadful mess our society is. And there are…” Feb 28, 14:53
Aidan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “@ Geri “ you accused me of being a Brigadoon, isolationist, nativist, put loving apologist cause I said I agreed…” Feb 28, 14:39
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “The colony denier says: ‘It’s their lack of any discernible backbone that holds us back, not the oppresion of others.’…” Feb 28, 14:32
Jim McNeill on Two Men Unalike: “It’s come to the point where the National Health Service needs renaming, as it seems to be crammed to the…” Feb 28, 14:08
Sven on Two Men Unalike: ““Queer Spelling” … Really loving that one !” Feb 28, 13:59
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: “False trilemma? Eh, naw… it’s juist a Seturday quiz – and only one of the options is true. Stop trying…” Feb 28, 13:41
Sven on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Would this be a “false trilemma”, intended to underline your unstated political position on two of the three options, Northy…” Feb 28, 12:59
Cynicus on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Bilbo says: 28 February, 2026 at 11:54 am Cynicus, I’m not sure if your comment is aimed at the one…” Feb 28, 12:40
Cynicus on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Sorry – the above link is rubbish . I hope the one below works https://www.irishnews.com/news/northern-ireland/a-message-to-unionism-from-one-of-its-giants-get-ready-for-irish-unity-44U2WVCUWRCBZFL63XN6FUXFLY/” Feb 28, 12:19
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Saturday Quiz. Which one of the below statements is true? </p 1: I understand women… I'm a man. 2: I…” Feb 28, 12:18
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “@Alf As expected more post colonial theory guff from purveyor of kale yard Brigadoonery. If all you have is a…” Feb 28, 12:02
Cynicus on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““A message to unionism from one of its giants: get ready for Irish unity” – The Irish News https://archive.is/zE5H This…” Feb 28, 11:57
Bilbo on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Cynicus, I’m not sure if your comment is aimed at the one I had posted earlier on. While nobody wants…” Feb 28, 11:54
Cynicus on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Thank you for that intriguing comment – particularly apposite this sombre morning when bombs again fall in the Middle East.…” Feb 28, 10:28
Sven on The Tactics Of Suicide: “You definitely win, Mark, there’s no topping that one. (Not even with gravy).” Feb 28, 10:19
Cynicus on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Andy Ellis says: 28 February, 2026 at 8:13 am .“Voting against the SNP presupposes that the available alternatives Le aren’t…” Feb 28, 10:10
Alf Baird on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““It’s a shite state of affairs” In a colonial society where external interference is the norm and another culture dominates…” Feb 28, 09:34
Bilbo on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I had made a habit of reading the Guardian and Daily Mail websites to see how the other side thinks,…” Feb 28, 09:31
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Dear me Geri, your unwelcome return to BTL commentary does – if nothing else – provide some comedy relief in…” Feb 28, 08:38
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Voting against the SNP presupposes that the available alternatives aren’t as bad or worse though surely? Like many I’ll never…” Feb 28, 08:13