We weren’t going to take Professor Adam Tomkins’ hysterical “NATMAGEDDON!” article for this week’s Spectator seriously enough to pull it apart line by line.
But once we’d wiped the tears from our eyes we thought we’d better do our job.
Kezia Dugdale made a spectacle of herself again at First Minister’s Questions earlier today. Using time intended for holding the Scottish Government to account over its devolved responsibilities, Dugdale once more decided instead to ignore her duty to the people of Scotland and attack the FM over a matter which is entirely outwith the Scottish Government’s control, namely the past actions of a Westminster MP.
Pausing only to demand that Holyrood interfere in the running of the independent Law Society, Dugdale then abandoned her casual endangerment of a live police inquiry by focusing instead on the morality of the aforementioned MP’s business practices:
But Ms Dugdale’s own ethics left a few things to be desired.
The media and Unionist politicians (we really need to come up with a word to describe that single entity), when not concocting hysterical frothing diatribes against Michelle Thomson or complaining about the Scottish Government giving money to T In The Park – a position we must confess we find ourselves in some sympathy with – have recently been loudly protesting about last year’s “underspend” in the Holyrood budget.
There’s an extremely good article here by Dr Craig Dalzell of the Scottish Greens dealing with the broader issue of why such complaints are idiotic, so rather than go over the ground again we thought we’d look at another angle.
It appeared on any possible interpretation to be complete nonsense, but Ms Dugdale – who’s pledged to make education the issue at the heart of her leadership – has been somewhat reluctant to clarify the statement.
Several queries from her Lothian constituents have gone unanswered, but one Wings viewer did manage to get a single tweet of response.
We didn’t think that could be right, and dug up some figures suggesting that it was nonsense, but of course “the poorest kids” is a highly-flexible metric. Strictly speaking you could just mean the two poorest children in the country, and if one of those two can’t read there’s your 50%.
Luckily, we’ve now had some meat put on the bones of that claim.
Kezia Dugdale talking to Gordon Brewer on BBC Scotland today:
“I’m astonished that you’ve spent 10 minutes in this interview talking about independence and Trident when almost 50% of the poorest kids in the country can’t read […] I’m sure you’d be shocked to know that 50% of the poorest kids leave our schools unable to read.”
We suspect he would too. Because it’s total cobblers.
There’s a remarkable story on the BBC News website today about the latest findings of the British Election Study, last seen destroying the myth that fear of the SNP damaged Labour in England. The piece focuses on the discovery that being seen as “too left-wing” does NOT, in fact, cost Labour votes, despite the hysterical warnings of supposedly leftist pundits.
But there’s a more startling fact buried right at the end.
There’s been a veritable flurry of polls commissioned to mark the impending one-year anniversary of the independence referendum. In the last 48 hours alone we’ve seen ones from Survation, YouGov and Panelbase, making a variety of interesting findings. As ever, though, the trick is in the interpretation.
Summer is, as we’ve said before, the “silly season” for politics. Wings readers will have noticed that like everywhere else, we’ve been rather lighter on content than usual for the last three months as politicians celebrated their general election victories by giving themselves long holidays – sorry, “time for constituency work” – and in the absence of a referendum campaign to fill the gap there wasn’t much going on.
So we can’t blame the media for raking over old ground in search of anything to fill threadbare column inches with. But it’s less excusable when the things they choose to reheat, repackage and reissue are ancient, endlessly-disproven lies.
Let’s start off by losing some more friends. This site has no time for the Gaelic lobby. The obsolete language spoken by just 0.9% of Scotland’s population might be part of the nation’s “cultural heritage”, but so were burning witches and replacing Highlanders with sheep and we don’t do those any more either.
Being multilingual is an excellent thing, but the significant amount of time and effort taken to learn a literally-pointless second language (because everyone you can talk to in Gaelic already understood English) would be vastly better directed to picking up one that was actually of some use, and every extra fraction of a second spent scanning a road sign trying to find the bit you can read is a fraction of a second spent with your eyes off the road.
Non-primary native languages are a tool whose main utility in practice is at best the exclusion of outsiders, and at worst an expression of dodgy blood-and-soil ethnic nationalism. They’re a barrier to communication and an irritation to the vast majority of the population, who are made to feel like uncultured aliens in their own land.
But we’d still rather put up with Gaelic than complete idiots making our laws.
sam on Two Men Unalike: “In education the Scottish gubmint for aw its faults seems to be doing better than England’s labouring gubmint. https://www.jrf.org.uk/uk-poverty-statistics/education That’s…” Mar 1, 16:59
sarah on Two Men Unalike: “www.crowdfunder.co.uk for Alliance to Liberate Scotland Holyrood 2026 – target is £10,000 for all the campaign materials etc etc. Spread…” Mar 1, 16:52
lorncal on Two Men Unalike: “I know I probably shouldn’t have, but I did laugh out loud at that, H. McH. Have you read Jeremy…” Mar 1, 16:08
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Generous, Geri. No question about that. But the crowdfunder can’t use your number two.” Mar 1, 16:05
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Sure, Alf, but only a few more weeks until we can all vote for this to be swept into the…” Mar 1, 16:00
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Dinna ye tak ony lip frae God, Northy. It’s ye that tells Him, nae the ither wuy roond.” Mar 1, 15:43
Alf Baird on Two Men Unalike: “As well as public bodies, universities etc and the NHS being “the most trans-captured organisations in the entire UK” it…” Mar 1, 15:41
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “James, ye need tae read fit happened tae Onan. Nae day like the Sabbath fir opening the Guid Book. If…” Mar 1, 15:39
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “One step back, Mark. I’m first.” Mar 1, 15:30
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Any boady mind “Hello, I’m Julian and this is my friend Sandy”? Innocent times they were.” Mar 1, 15:27
Young Lochinvar on Two Men Unalike: “J Good point!” Mar 1, 15:10
Confused on Two Men Unalike: “M&S Food Hall last night, getting some of those spicy breaded chicken things. Past the checkout, the news stand -…” Mar 1, 13:59
Sven on Two Men Unalike: “I see your “Toodle-oo the noo, the noo agin, agin…fir noo” and raise you one; “Hello, Farewell, Hello”. Kürt Vonnegut.” Mar 1, 13:58
Northcode on Two Men Unalike: “I meant to say this tae afore I go, go, Go. “You are either with God, or against him.” A…” Mar 1, 13:30
Cynicus on Two Men Unalike: ““Nae Hair On’t Yestreen I wed a lady fair, And ye wad believe me, On her cunt there grows nae…” Mar 1, 13:21
Northcode on Two Men Unalike: “Oh, I forgot to post this… so here it is now. Toodle-oo the noo, agin. “The task is to explore…” Mar 1, 13:11
Aidan on Two Men Unalike: “No wonder Geri is so salty this morning, given how badly her side is loosing.” Mar 1, 12:35
TURABDIN on Two Men Unalike: “Remember too that the star of the Ukrainian arms industry is the drone. Drones supplied to any takers including the…” Mar 1, 12:31
The Flying Iron of Doom on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Andy Ellis says: 1 March, 2026 at 8:40 am Of course I believe I’m a cut above the usual suspects…” Mar 1, 12:24
Northcode on Two Men Unalike: “Well, that was a pointless, time-wasting bundle of fun. But there are too many extremely rude and childish anti-Scots racist…” Mar 1, 12:17
Andy Ellis on Two Men Unalike: “Uncle Vlad must be feeling a tad nervous now. He’s rapidly running out of besties isn’t he? His supply of…” Mar 1, 12:13
Northcode on Two Men Unalike: ““I’m sure however the erudite and modest Mr Baird would decline the offer of such ostentation…” Maybe you’re right, Willie……” Mar 1, 11:53
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “North needs a hug. Any volunteers?” Mar 1, 11:48
TURABDIN on Two Men Unalike: “THE GRAND AYATULLAH is dead….but there will thousands along in a minute. Fancy the job Don? Think of all those…” Mar 1, 11:44
Northcode on Two Men Unalike: “The colonialists… they funny today. Not in any deliberate way, ye unnerstaund.. they don’t possess the wit fir that level…” Mar 1, 11:36
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “Once you liberate yourself from teenage masterbating sessions with fat plukey post colonial analy retentive burnt out socialists. Then the…” Mar 1, 11:33
Andy Ellis on Two Men Unalike: “@Mark Beggan If we see a lot of the keffiyeh wearing classes minus some fingers I guess we’ll know why,…” Mar 1, 11:26
Willie on Two Men Unalike: “I smiled at your comment about putting up a statue to Alf Baird. I’m sure however the erudite and modest…” Mar 1, 11:04