Remember when some of us made a bit of a fuss about the epically tasteless plans for the 100th anniversary of the start of World War 1, and were angrily told by various indignant British nationalists that the planned events were a “commemoration, not a celebration”? Turns out you can’t keep the truth down for long.
Astonishingly, the government even wheeled out some unbelievable numbnuts of a defence minister who offered up the following quote to describe this great sporting showpiece in which we will again be encouraged to see the Germans as our enemies:
“A no-brainer in terms of an event that is going to reach part of the community that perhaps might not get terribly entrenched into this”
Yep. He really said “entrenched”. Still, we agree with the first three words.
Try as we might, we’re only one small website and we can’t track every last news story in the world. So we’re not sure who died and made Calum Cashley chief of the Internet Police. But whoever it was did the cause of independence a great disservice by not clinging to life for a couple more years.
The Herald’s front-page headline this morning – that is, the most important thing the newspaper considers to be happening in the world today – is “Yes campaigners launch bid to silence cybernats“. We won’t insult our readers’ intelligence by naming its author. It exists solely as a result of the actions of Calum Cashley, and it manages to turn an event of such microscopic non-significance it wouldn’t have raised a gnat’s eyelash into a bilious spew of toxic No-campaign propaganda. Nice work, officer.
We hadn’t previously bothered commenting on the Guardian cartoon by Steve Bell that had a lot of independence supporters hot under the collar this week. We’d assumed, as seemed the most likely explanation, that it had actually been a comment on what David Cameron was alleged to have mouthed to Angus Robertson at Prime Minister’s Questions, and that Cameron was therefore the main intended target.
We worried that the nationalists who beseiged the paper with angry comments were perhaps being a little oversensitive and looking for offence where none had been meant. Ironically, the cartoon happened only days after we’d highlighted our own habitual inability to understand what Bell’s cartoons were supposed to be about, and that comment turned out to be prophetic, because we had indeed called it wrong.
It’s commonplace for professional journalists these days to dismiss bloggers and social-media users as “internet bampots” – frothing, furious, abusive lunatics ranting at parked cars. But in fairness, some do tend to get a bit over-excited from time to time.
By way of example, let’s check out a couple of the wilder-eyed nationalists who’ve been allowed out by the nurses to air their rage in public this week.
If you raise the slightest voice of dissent to the increasing fetishisation of the military in the UK these days, you risk drawing down a barrage of foul-mouthed ire on your head from furious British nationalists, inexplicably enraged at the expression of the desire not to send the sons, daughters, friends, fathers and mothers of Scotland off to die pointlessly in foreign countries where we have no legitimate business.
So it was nice to have our comments about the crass, jingoistic “commemoration” of last year’s Remembrance Day circus at Ibrox echoed this week by the joint chiefs of Scotland’s armed forces, who have ordered that the grotesque, “inappropriate” scenes will not be repeated in future. We hope the club’s fans, and others of the same mindset, will pay more attention when rebuked by such impeccable authorities than they ever would to the objections of evil traitorous cybernats like us.
We’ve got a bit of a dodgy Freeview picture this morning thanks to the weather, but we THINK this is what we just heard on the news from all the Tories (and others) who want the UK to leave the EU, but Scotland to stay in the UK.
We’re indebted to commenter “DougtheDug” on A Sair Fecht for spotting this one. On Tuesday in the House of Commons section 30 debate, Labour MP Ian Davidson bitterly attacked the Scottish Government for allegedly timing the independence referendum to coincide – at least to within six months – with the 700th anniversary of the Battle Of Bannockburn. (Ignoring the fact that the referendum would have happened years ago had it not been vigorously opposed and blocked by Labour.)
Davidson claimed that the timing amounted to “celebrating the murder of hundreds or thousands of English people“, and accused the SNP of exploiting anti-English sentiment for “partisan advantage”. It was a contemptible enough piece of dog-whistle politics in its own right, but all the more extraordinarily hypocritical in the light of this:
Lurking in the Westminster archives is an Early Day Motion from late 2003, in which Mr Davidson was happy to attach his name to a Parliamentary celebration – tabled by the Conservative MP for Romford, Andrew Rosindell – of what we presume we must call “the murder of hundreds or thousands of French and Spanish people”.
We must admit, we’re a little confused. Apparently openly and explicitly rejoicing at the historic deaths of enemy troops is fine if you’re a British nationalist, but disgusting, racist political chicanery if you’re a Scottish one (even when you’re not actually doing it). Can anyone point us at the rulebook for this sort of thing?
We hate to be banging on this drum again, but we can’t help asking: if these British nationalists had instead been Scottish nationalists, setting cars on fire and attacking policemen because they wanted the Saltire flown more often from public buildings, would the Scottish media be covering it in such a low-key, non-political way?
Alert readers will recall earlier this month, when the Herald reported that the “flag riots” still going on in Belfast were to spread to Scotland. The paper noted that:
“Demonstraters supporting the Loyalist Union flag dispute in Northern Ireland are turning their attention to Scotland’s independence referendum, with a protest planned against senior SNP figures next week. The protesters are planning to picket Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon’s constituency office on Glasgow’s south side a week on Saturday.
One demonstrator said the protest at Ms Sturgeon’s office was a “No to independence and to protect the Union”.”
The protests in question took place today, with a number of Wings Over Scotland’s intrepid citizen journalists (whose names we’re withholding for their own safety) braving the ever-present threat of British-nationalist violence to record the events for posterity.
Young Lochinvar on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: “It’s probably the publisher spending the money in promoting the book, perhaps they are getting sweaty palms over the negative…” Aug 18, 04:29
Geri on The World Inside Her Head: “‘Don’t you know Scotland has been a willing member of the UK for over 300 years (confirmed as recently as…” Aug 18, 01:05
Geri on The World Inside Her Head: “The UK Supreme Court was the brain fart of Blair & his handlers to follow the yanks in making a…” Aug 18, 00:38
Big Jock on The World Inside Her Head: “So now you agree that Scotlands laws are part of British Law! Seems you are tying yourself in knots union…” Aug 18, 00:13
Geri on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: “Bio labs confirmed. Dossier already logged at the UN despite British terrorists blowing up the author. That’s also been logged…” Aug 18, 00:10
Insider on The World Inside Her Head: “Thank you “Big Jock” ! Good to see you’ve realised how stupid your comment was ! Cheers !” Aug 17, 23:50
Insider on The World Inside Her Head: ““England’s Supreme court” ???????? No such thing, Big Daftie ! I presume you are thinking of the UK’s Supreme Court…” Aug 17, 23:43
Big Jock on The World Inside Her Head: “Scots law is frequently undermined and challenged by England’s Supreme court. Its not actually independent. We couldn’t hold a referendum…” Aug 17, 23:05
Geri on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: “Well look at you admitting on the internet you look ‘down there’ at little girls dolls… Anything else you wanna…” Aug 17, 23:04
Geri on The World Inside Her Head: ““So Scots law is just a figment of everyone’s imagination ?” May as well be cause a wee title fae…” Aug 17, 22:47
Hatey McHateface on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: ““Twa nae burds?! Dancing fur Scotlands freedom ya say?!!” They’ll need some way of recognising each other for the hook…” Aug 17, 22:44
Hatey McHateface on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: “You make it sound as if there’s only one thing odd about Scottish Independence, TURABDIN. There are actually lots of…” Aug 17, 22:31
Hatey McHateface on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: ““A black belt doncha know. Martial Arts & master of Zen – as well as international law” Well, well, guess…” Aug 17, 22:15
Hatey McHateface on The World Inside Her Head: “One free handed poster trying not to think about pricks.” Aug 17, 22:03
Hatey McHateface on The World Inside Her Head: ““Only a clown could argue to the contrary” OK, maybe I got that one slightly wrong. A plastic Barbie could…” Aug 17, 22:00
George Ferguson on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: “@TURABDIN Sure we are awash with the Scottish Diaspora telling us how to vote. People living in Scotland get it…” Aug 17, 21:47
Insider on The World Inside Her Head: “Big Jock says….. The EU is a voluntary agreement, and all members have their own laws etc…. Scotland has none…” Aug 17, 21:27
Big Jock on The World Inside Her Head: “Every country in the EU is sovereign and independent. No , it’s not like Scotland in the UK. We are…” Aug 17, 20:53
Geri on The World Inside Her Head: “There is actually. Hungary & Slovakia don’t mind telling the yanks, the EU & U to do one. So did…” Aug 17, 19:36
James on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: “Aye, and here’s anither yin – it’s their erses you’ll be kissing no their feet. Prick.” Aug 17, 19:00
Geri on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: “Not anytime soon by the looks of it, #SitePrick Unlike the duds in little England, pres Poot is currently enjoying…” Aug 17, 18:57
Hatey McHateface on The World Inside Her Head: “Shouldn’t you be keeping a low profile? The assisted dying boys might be monitoring this site. Somebody might have tipped…” Aug 17, 18:44
TURABDIN on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: “«What J.K. Rowling misses about Sturgeon’s memoir» a piece in the Spectator by some «Scot» called Philip Patrick who lives…” Aug 17, 18:40
Hatey McHateface on The World Inside Her Head: “Big Jock So you’re saying if we had been Independent we would still be in the EU and thus not…” Aug 17, 18:39
Hatey McHateface on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: “Yes, yes, Barbie, but fit aboot the biolabs and the F16s? And the promise ye made it wid a’ be…” Aug 17, 18:33
twathater on The World Inside Her Head: “As people like Bastard Tax MOAN, Agent Dipshit, Yoonionist Scotland hater Stuart, Yoonionist Scotland hater Aydan, Yoonionist Scotland Hater Beggan…” Aug 17, 18:02
Geri on The Sweet Smell Of Unsuccess: “I think they flog it & ship it to China so they can make toilet paper & diapers. Or give…” Aug 17, 17:36