Wings Over Scotland

Almost every newspaper today reported a declaration by George Osborne that a No vote would result in a boost to Scottish family incomes of a dramatic-sounding £2,000. The headline figure, which some papers gave a more negative spin, was actually a cumulative sum spread over 30 years (because “£67 a year per family”, or £1.29 a week, sounds rather less impressive as a compelling case for the Union).

It hinged on forecast economic growth of 4% – due to “extra trade, labour migration and cross-border investment” – compared to that in an independent Scotland.

Those are two pretty sweeping predictions. Is the Chancellor that good a fortune-teller?

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Forgive the mangled Star Trek/Blackadder reference, there.

We’ve been having a wee dig around in the just-released full data tables from today’s Panelbase poll, and found something we thought was particularly interesting, and which we don’t think anyone’s picked up on, because it’s a bit tricky to get your head round. Walk with us while we simplify it.

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There’s something subtly different about the wording of these two Scotsman headlines.

Well, not very subtle. Can you spot it, readers? Tell us your answers in the comments.

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Now, this is interesting. Alert readers will have noticed (by which we mean “be sick of us banging on about”) the fact that we recently conducted a poll which suggested the Yes and No votes were a lot closer than the media portrayal, and the media blanked it with a bunch of feeble excuses including “you had a satirical option in one of your questions”, “you used leading wording” and “we were all on holiday that week”.

We’re not making that last one up.

The media coverage we got for our troubles was a nasty smear campaign (warning: image Not Safe For Anyone). On the other hand, despite being at the beach and the zoo and goodness knows where else, the Scottish press managed to splash another poll a couple of weeks later, showing a massive lead for No, all over the front pages.

The fishy smell, though, was about to get a lot stronger.

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Let’s end an ugly week on a fun note, shall we?

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We’ve been hearing tales today of people who signed up for the top secret “public meeting” of No Glasgow yesterday and received written confirmation that their application had been successful, but were then mysteriously refused admission when they arrived – a curious occurrence when by most accounts there were 70-80 seats going begging in the 400-seater auditorium.

We, naturally, had about 50 spies in the room, one of whom audio-recorded the entire thing. We’re still plugging our way through it – it’s hard to maintain focus when the tired old platitudes you’ve heard a hundred times already drone on and on from the stage, and we keep finding we’ve forgotten we’re listening and have wandered off to do the hoovering or something.

By far the most compelling argument we’ve heard so far, though, came from a gentleman in the audience. It’s transcribed below. Take a moment to read it.

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To the ASTONISHMENT OF ALL, the Scottish media has leapt to cover a new poll today. It was conducted on behalf of the cross-party “Devo Plus” group, which we were mildly surprised to discover apparently still exists despite the previous two posts on its website being dated February 2013 and November 2012.

Being far more fair-minded than other news outlets, however, and not ones for bearing petty grudges, Wings Over Scotland is more than happy to run some analysis on it.

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Well, it’s been quite a week, readers. Over the course of the last seven days, Wings Over Scotland – and in particular myself, as its editor – has been subjected to an unprecedented series of smear attacks from several groups of alarmingly angry people, from “Better Together” activists (sometimes in unholy alliance with a small handful of confused, naive young SNP student sorts) to senior Scottish journalists, failed Tory election candidates, psychopathic stalkers and Rangers supporters.

I’ve personally been called – in the space of just that single week – homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, racist, disablist, ageist, fascist, sectarian, a rape apologist, anti-English, anti-Welsh and a hate-preaching bigot. All are entirely untrue, of course.

(Just about the only people I’m apparently NOT prejudiced against are left-handed unicycling vegan budgie-owners from Fermanagh. Which is doubly ironic, because I really loathe those smug, cack-fisted carrot-munchers.)

If you want to know why, look below.

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A picture taken earlier today at Edinburgh’s Mela festival.

In the upper half of the shot, a busy Yes Scotland tent buzzing with activists and interested members of the public. In the foreground, another forlorn “Better Together” campaigner looking around hopefully for someone – anyone – to talk to about how Scotland’s too pathetic and useless to be a country by itself.

We don’t even have the heart to mock. It must be sad.

We’re just going through some reports from the top-secret “public meeting” of the No campaign in Glasgow today. Scores of empty seats (in a venue holding hundreds fewer than the packed-out Yes Glasgow launch), a fracas involving someone protesting about Trident, and the same tired old lines from the same tired old faces.

The pick of the bunch so far, though, came from Willie Rennie, who warned that “The Nationalists are right about the success of the parliament, but with independence devolution ends”. Yes, of course it does, you hapless balloon. Because when you arrive at your destination, you don’t need to travel any more.

If devolution is “a process, not an event”, then the only possible endpoint of that process is independence. Devolution is the return of more powers to the Scottish Parliament. When all powers are returned, of course there’s no more need for devolution. All the referendum represents is a shortcut – getting where we want to go in one leap without wrangling over the constitution non-stop for the next 40 years.

We can only imagine Willie Rennie burns his toast a lot.

We’d imagine, in fairness, that you need to be endowed with a pretty well-polished brass neck to stand as a Conservative politician in Scotland at all.

So perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised at the sheer nerve of Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson yesterday as she gave a speech to an audience (if that’s not too strong a word in the circumstances) of “around 25” people in Edinburgh.

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Saturday is notionally our comedy day, but it’s nice to see the Scotsman joining in with the fun this week. We’re rapidly coming to the conclusion that the failing paper is now being operated as some sort of elaborate ironic prank, and the lead home-news story this morning does nothing to dispel that theory.

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