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School’s in 203

Posted on January 09, 2016 by

schoolin

Old soak dribbles 131

Posted on December 15, 2015 by

I know he’s a figure of comedy and pity, but this is something else.

foulkeshaker

Someone glue the cork in the bottle, eh? For his own good.

Long to reign over us, part 2 311

Posted on December 10, 2015 by

What a day it’s been to be a proud Scot.

proudscot

Knights and Lords and Ladies, all ours to cherish. Truly, we’re better together.

Long to reign over us 149

Posted on December 10, 2015 by

Comrades! Be upstanding and bow your heads to your superior, The Right Honourable The Lord Darling of Ruilanish, revolutionary socialist of Her Majesty:

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Not in your papers tomorrow 65

Posted on December 09, 2015 by

Alert readers may recall a very recent incident where the Daily Record made baseless insinuations about a trip by former SNP MP Natalie McGarry to Syria, and whether its funding had been declared on the Parliamentary Register Of Members’ Interests.

(It had been, and the Record still hasn’t clarified its article to that effect.)

So here’s a thing.

cuntfunder2

Nil? Zero? Nothing at all? That seems… wrong.

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An abuse of trust 102

Posted on December 09, 2015 by

We’ve been having some trouble trying to explain the Alistair Carmichael verdict to some English chums who hadn’t been following the case previously and have now just heard about it on the news.

Lord Matthews and Lady Paton in their great wisdom concluded that Carmichael had lied about the “Frenchgate” memo, and that he had also lied to them in the courtroom, and that the first of those lies was intended to help Carmichael achieve re-election, but that somehow his own re-election was not a “personal” matter.

acwhoops

Our friends couldn’t follow the logic of that, and to be honest we weren’t able to help them much. Nevertheless, the judgement has been handed down and the case is closed. It seems unlikely the petitioners could fund an appeal even if one was to be allowed, particularly given that according to press reports Carmichael will be pursuing them for his £150,000 costs as well as their own.

However, in the process of wriggling out of his lie on an obscure legal and semantic technicality, Carmichael appears, so far as we can tell, to have explicitly implicated himself in a far more serious crime.

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Put in our place 393

Posted on December 09, 2015 by

So now Scotland knows where it stands. Alistair Carmichael is innocent.

There’s officially nothing wrong with a minister of the UK government deliberately lying in an attempt to undermine the democratically-elected First Minister of Scotland before a general election, smearing foreign ambassadors in the process, then openly admitting his wrongdoing but refusing to stand down, flicking two fingers at his own constituents and the whole country.

image

Right you are, then. Duly noted. On we go.

Two countries 251

Posted on December 08, 2015 by

Earlier this year, a Secretary of State in Her Majesty’s Government leaked an untrue memo to the press, with the intention of undermining the democratically-elected First Minister of Scotland and damaging her party in an imminent general election. He then went on national TV and lied about doing so, in order to protect his own reputation.

The newspaper he leaked the smear to printed it without making the slightest attempt to ascertain its veracity, for which it was nominated for an award (even after having been strongly censured by the press complaints watchdog). The “journalist” involved has never retracted or apologised for the story. Others have defended it.

The minister’s colleagues and other opposition politicians gleefully leapt on the smear and propagated it, mostly failing to retract their accusations after they were shown to have been false. Others shrugged that it was normal and fine for politicians to tell “brazen” lies and that complaining about it was “bullying”.

carmichaeljudgement

These facts are not in dispute. Tomorrow morning we’ll find out what they mean.

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The trouble with Lords 155

Posted on December 08, 2015 by

This morning’s Daily Record, and also some newspapers, report that booze-ruined internet troll and convicted violent criminal George Foulkes – who’s spent several decades of his political career campaigning to abolish the House Of Lords, and all of the last one sitting in it as Baron Foulkes of Cumnock – has dreamt up a wizard new wheeze to enhance the Scottish Parliament by giving it its own chamber of peers.

foulkeslords1

The thirsty noble aims to avoid the undemocratic nature of the UK Lords by making the new “senate” an elected chamber. But in an uncharacteristic development that will shock innocent readers to their cores, he doesn’t seem to have thought it through.

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Cultivating terror 63

Posted on December 05, 2015 by

Order “Welcome To Cairnstoon”, Chris’ compilation of Wings cartoons and more, here.

Seventeen days later 411

Posted on December 03, 2015 by

This is Labour’s shadow Foreign Secretary Hilary Benn, quoted in the Independent On Sunday on the 15th of November, just two and a half weeks ago.

hbenn

That’s interesting, isn’t it?

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Britain goes to war 339

Posted on December 02, 2015 by

Tonight we watched as the conclusion of a “debate” in the UK Parliament saw the “opposition”, almost unprecedentedly, sum up the same case as the government, to roof-raising cheers and applause (which is now apparently permitted again) from the Conservative benches for a Labour shadow minister.

We were rather put in mind of a famous Neil Kinnock speech from 1985.

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    • Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “Excuse my facetiousness, factchecker. Sometimes what I think of as playful banter might come across as rudeness in this place.…Feb 23, 10:08
    • factchecker on When the law breaks the law: “NC says ““And therefore presumably a word imposed on us by our colonisers in the distant past.” You presume wrongly,…Feb 23, 09:38
    • Northcode on When the law breaks the law: ““And therefore presumably a word imposed on us by our colonisers in the distant past.” You presume wrongly, yet again,…Feb 23, 09:00
    • factchecker on When the law breaks the law: “Many thanks for the injection of fact, NC. “Bring, Bryng, v. Also: pryng. P.t. and p.p. brocht, broght, broight; broucht,…Feb 23, 08:46
    • Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “The ignorance of Scotland’s colonists (unionists or colonialists if preferred… same thing) on all things Scottish does not in the…Feb 23, 08:30
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “He might have been struggling with one of those colds you get at this time of year. The worst of…Feb 23, 08:08
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Why is it that every time somebody starts banging oan aboot us reclaiming oor indigenous linguistic, cultural and political voice,…Feb 23, 08:03
    • Fin on The Longest Road: “Aye no political agendas at all on the mike Graham show, guy thinks you can grow concrete. Wings level of…Feb 23, 07:55
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Wow YL! Three special posts, and all for me. Honestly now, you shouldn’t have. I always laugh when somebody posts…Feb 23, 07:47
    • Iain More on When the law breaks the law: “I think you mean burlin in his grave?Feb 23, 06:03
    • twathater on When the law breaks the law: “Absolutely SR Prof Baird does sterling work and has to be applauded for his tenacity and resolve in the face…Feb 23, 02:56
    • Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH What exactly don’t you understand about the 15th of March? Like missing-in-action bestie of yours (overweight/ overblown) Wilma Flintstone…Feb 22, 23:58
    • Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH @ 10.35 Nope! There’s nothing that indentured you (through coercion) beyond your time of service. Look it up unless…Feb 22, 23:47
    • Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Alf Given a perusal of tedious posts and GPs Scotchland Office and (ahem) “sponsors” unrebuked bombshell then I think it’s…Feb 22, 22:51
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “A bit early, YL. You’re never in the zone much before 2 AM. I think that oath of allegiance you…Feb 22, 22:35
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Didn’t he also say “never try to introduce new ideas to those whose heids are dense as stone”? He should…Feb 22, 22:27
    • Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH Given GP as good as outed you as a Scotchland Office stooge further up BTL then should any “rational…Feb 22, 22:17
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Surely exactly as predicted by Fanon and Memmi, Alf. I do wonder why nobody is ever up for dealing with…Feb 22, 22:16
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on When the law breaks the law: “Not sure whether the late Ruaraidh MacThòmais / Derick Thomson (who was certainly committed to Scottish independence) is preoccupied in…Feb 22, 21:34
    • Cynicus on When the law breaks the law: “@Alf Baird, 22 February, 2026 at 7:43 pm ======== Alf, I commend to you the advice of HH Asquith: “Never…Feb 22, 20:27
    • Alf Baird on When the law breaks the law: “You must be on piece-work from whoever pays you, Hatey, that’s 28 worthless diversionary contributions on this article alone from…Feb 22, 19:43
    • Saffron Robe on When the law breaks the law: “I agree entirely with both your comments, Twathater. The current crop of Scottish politicians are indeed merely actors for independence…Feb 22, 19:40
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Graves used to be a lot more spacious. Shrinkflation gets its teeth into everything. Back in the Victorian Age, when…Feb 22, 18:18
    • Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “Although “turn” was most likely used first in a speech given by a Mr Windham on the 4th November 1801…Feb 22, 18:02
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““comprehensively lost the argument in Scotland vis-a-vis EU membership. the ship has sailed” Blethers. The argument has never been made.…Feb 22, 17:48
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Surely “brocht low”, Northy, not “brought low”. It angers me more than mere words can express that I’m better at…Feb 22, 17:41
    • Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “Since there’s nothing much happening on here again theday… here’s anither fragment of a braw poem scrieved by that most…Feb 22, 17:29
    • agentx on When the law breaks the law: ““Alex Salmond will be rolling in his grave” ——————————————— The usual phrase is “turning in his grave”.Feb 22, 17:27
    • Andy Ellis on When the law breaks the law: “@Hatey There’s no way the EU would have accepted separate memberships for Scotland and rUK on the same terms and…Feb 22, 16:58
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““We’re economically significantly worse off than if we’d have become independent, because if that had happened brexit would never have…Feb 22, 16:27
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