Thanks to the Scottish Daily Mail, we’ve just spotted a piece by the Conservative MP Bernard Jenkin for City AM a few days ago. We had an inordinate amount of trouble getting the full article to display past the site’s incredibly over-zealous advert enforcer, so we’ve preserved it for posterity here.
There’s a gem in every paragraph. You’re going to like this one.
Comrades! Be upstanding and bow your heads to your superior, The Right Honourable The Lord Darling of Ruilanish, revolutionary socialist of Her Majesty:
Alert readers may recall a very recent incident where the Daily Record made baseless insinuations about a trip by former SNP MP Natalie McGarry to Syria, and whether its funding had been declared on the Parliamentary Register Of Members’ Interests.
(It had been, and the Record still hasn’t clarified its article to that effect.)
We’ve been having some trouble trying to explain the Alistair Carmichael verdict to some English chums who hadn’t been following the case previously and have now just heard about it on the news.
Lord Matthews and Lady Paton in their great wisdom concluded that Carmichael had lied about the “Frenchgate” memo, and that he had also lied to them in the courtroom, and that the first of those lies was intended to help Carmichael achieve re-election, but that somehow his own re-election was not a “personal” matter.
Our friends couldn’t follow the logic of that, and to be honest we weren’t able to help them much. Nevertheless, the judgement has been handed down and the case is closed. It seems unlikely the petitioners could fund an appeal even if one was to be allowed, particularly given that according to press reports Carmichael will be pursuing them for his £150,000 costs as well as their own.
However, in the process of wriggling out of his lie on an obscure legal and semantic technicality, Carmichael appears, so far as we can tell, to have explicitly implicated himself in a far more serious crime.
So now Scotland knows where it stands. Alistair Carmichael is innocent.
There’s officially nothing wrong with a minister of the UK government deliberately lying in an attempt to undermine the democratically-elected First Minister of Scotland before a general election, smearing foreign ambassadors in the process, then openly admitting his wrongdoing but refusing to stand down, flicking two fingers at his own constituents and the whole country.
Earlier this year, a Secretary of State in Her Majesty’s Government leaked an untrue memo to the press, with the intention of undermining the democratically-elected First Minister of Scotland and damaging her party in an imminent general election. He then went on national TV and lied about doing so, in order to protect his own reputation.
The newspaper he leaked the smear to printed it without making the slightest attempt to ascertain its veracity, for which it was nominated for an award (even after having been strongly censured by the press complaints watchdog). The “journalist” involved has never retracted or apologised for the story. Others have defended it.
This morning’s Daily Record, and also some newspapers, report that booze-ruined internet troll and convicted violent criminal George Foulkes – who’s spent several decades of his political career campaigning to abolish the House Of Lords, and all of the last one sitting in it as Baron Foulkes of Cumnock – has dreamt up a wizard new wheeze to enhance the Scottish Parliament by giving it its own chamber of peers.
The thirsty noble aims to avoid the undemocratic nature of the UK Lords by making the new “senate” an elected chamber. But in an uncharacteristic development that will shock innocent readers to their cores, he doesn’t seem to have thought it through.
sarah on Looking up at the stars: “@ Marie: I’m so sorry – there is nothing worse than sibling disagreements. We had some in my family but…” Mar 17, 15:06
Marie on Looking up at the stars: “I had a sibling ask me to stop feeding our late terminally ill mother because they were impatient to get…” Mar 17, 14:54
Sven on Looking up at the stars: “Mark Beggan @ 14.04. That would have been before we elected so many of those turnips who have now taken…” Mar 17, 14:38
sarah on Looking up at the stars: “O/T: Today’s the day to see how the Assisted Dying votes go at Holyrood. I wrote to all my MSPs…” Mar 17, 14:36
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “‘Rigidity of thought ‘ Entrenched bitterness against their own kind. ‘All problems will be solved after independence.’ How many times…” Mar 17, 14:04
Alf Baird on Looking up at the stars: ““Scotland will issue another framework on important issues, a starting point” Thankfully there is a published research-based ‘theoretical framework’ identifying…” Mar 17, 13:54
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Nope! Setting out a general framework of where we’d be starting from is very different from a political parties individual…” Mar 17, 13:44
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Okay so now it’s exactly the opposite of what you were saying earlier, glad we ironed that one out.” Mar 17, 13:03
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “St Patrick was the first illegal immigrant to enter Britain in a dinghy.” Mar 17, 12:50
Lorncal on Looking up at the stars: “Dan: maybe you just don’t see others’ viewpoints as valid discussion issues? Wings is still, by far, the most influential…” Mar 17, 12:50
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Scotland was perfectly capable of writing a framework before. Even Wings wrote the wee blue book along with thousands of…” Mar 17, 12:35
Lorncal on Looking up at the stars: “Anne: I honestly do not think that the vast majority of posters on here are Unionist trolls. It is just…” Mar 17, 12:33
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “For Scotland to achieve independence now the supporters will have to vote for the Unionist party most likely to form…” Mar 17, 12:24
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “I’m not going through the bins sorry, but looks like you’re absolutely right, it ain’t from the Tay, perhaps it…” Mar 17, 11:55
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “It’s a great strategy from Geri, I love it. So when people ask perfectly reasonable questions in hustings/on the doorstep/in…” Mar 17, 11:48
100%Yes on Looking up at the stars: “Why does it bother you? Ignore them entirely, most people do and they’ll just go away.” Mar 17, 11:33
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “(Another attempt at the Gaelic version, hopefully free this time from misformatting question marks after each Gaelic accent) COIRE A’…” Mar 17, 11:23
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “CORRYVRECKAN George Orwell wrote his novel 1984 on the Island of Jura. I saw something about it on tv recently.…” Mar 17, 11:07
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “That which doesn’t kill you makes you strong, Anne. It never ceases to amaze me how so many pro-Indy Scots…” Mar 17, 11:07
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “COIRE A’ BHREACAIN Sgri?obh Seo?ras Orwell 1984 air Eilean Diu?ra. Chunnaic mi pi?os mu a dhe?idhinn air an tv o…” Mar 17, 11:05
Anne on Looking up at the stars: “This site isn’t what it was because of the increasing posts from unionist trolls but one area where Wings has…” Mar 17, 10:22
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Ah hear it’s grand fer fleas oan dugs.” Mar 17, 10:19
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Thanks fer the heids up, Geri. Ah’ll hae a wee wurd.” Mar 17, 10:16
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Spot on, Alf. Poor shitey will see this for himself if Reform win. Someone did a montage of him the…” Mar 17, 10:13
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Sorry, Alf, but after that response from you, I can only hope and pray that you never actually read the…” Mar 17, 10:02
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “I hate tae burst yer wee Yoon bubble but ye are aware Chucky has strong Islamic leanings? Or maybe that’s…” Mar 17, 09:53
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Look Shitey It’s not rocket science. In a referendum the question is posed to EVERYONE regardless of their preferred political…” Mar 17, 09:47
Alf Baird on Looking up at the stars: ““the article’s author doesn’t account for Scotland’s exceptionalism” Scotland has suffered from Orwell’s thesis since long afore he wrote anything.…” Mar 17, 09:18
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “HMcH Oh, I get it. You start it, don’t come out best so revert to spellchecking sanctimonious teacher mode. Honestly!…” Mar 17, 08:13
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “An interesting article on why, after every political revolution, Orwell’s pigs eventually turn into the humans they overthrew: https://unherd.com/2026/03/trumps-betrayal-of-his-base/ Of…” Mar 17, 07:59