The proceedings at the Supreme Court this week were a tough follow even if you could get the court’s abominably bad livestream to work. They’re all archived here now, but non-lawyers will probably glaze over quickly during the nine hours of intense legalese.
We’re not allowed to clip up any illustrative sections, on pain of possible contempt of court, so perhaps the best way to explain the key parts of what happened in a vaguely comprehensible way is by showing you some commentary from social media.
Many expert observers have already noted that the document flatly contradicts the Scottish Government’s previous repeated and strenuous assertions that a Gender Recognition Certificate confers “no new rights” on trans people, and have published extremely detailed assessments which are frankly all but impenetrable to non-lawyers but basically conclude that the Scottish Government’s position is a mess.
Our favourite line, however, is this one.
So if you’re obliged to have a 50/50 sex balance in your boardroom, you can do it by hiring a man with a GRC saying he’s legally female, or by hiring a woman.
We believe that the young folk nowadays call that a “self-own”.
As a lifelong political geek and former SNP and Alba Party member, I’ve spent years supporting Scotland’s independence movement. However, over the last few years, I’ve watched the campaign (as opposed to support for independence) wither away. Being a Scottish nationalist has become increasingly disheartening, like watching someone you love succumb to a slow, debilitating illness. In frustration, I switched off from my homeland and turned my focus to the drama of US politics.
Over the last three years I immersed myself in it, watching both left and right-wing outlets. I became so hooked and invested that I jumped on a plane to Washington DC for the 2024 election. I canvassed with DC Democrats in rural Pennsylvania (that’s me third from the left in the pic below), attended Kamala Harris’s concession rally, and went to Trump’s only watch party in DC.
My journey led me to believe that Scotland’s independence campaign could learn a great deal from Trump’s victory and the Democrats’ failure.
We’ll give you three guesses as to the highly controversial and extravagantly taxpayer-funded organisation that has its rainbow fingerprints all over this story, readers.
So it looks like the USA has elected a mad orange rapist convicted of 34 felonies who could yet be in jail by the time of his inauguration. (He would remain President even if that happened, which would be really funny.) And we can’t even blame them for it, because the alternative they were offered was, remarkably and stupendously, worse.
To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “Evidence, perhaps, of the fallacy of UDI. It’s a big unfriendly world out there! Discuss ” Jun 21, 19:00
TURABDIN on Holiday Relief: “Oh for god’s sake «None of the Above»….okay?” Jun 21, 18:39
agent x on Holiday Relief: “So basically you have no idea what you are talking about and no answer to my simple questions. Who will…” Jun 21, 18:00
James Cheyne on Holiday Relief: “It is questionable which country at the moment will break out first, It may not be Scotland, the people have…” Jun 21, 17:46
James Cheyne on Holiday Relief: “And who will in charge of Ireland or Wales and come to think of it, who will be in charge…” Jun 21, 17:40
TURABDIN on Holiday Relief: “@ agent x Being less «conventional», one might endeavour to think outside the strictures of the westminster/parliamentary box. Democracy, which…” Jun 21, 17:33
agent x on Holiday Relief: “I have no idea what your reply means. Who will be the President of the Democratic Republic of Scotland (DROS)?…” Jun 21, 17:03
Andy Ellis on Holiday Relief: “So what? The actions of people who fashioned the Treaties 300 years ago have SFA to do with our proximate…” Jun 21, 17:02
TURABDIN on Holiday Relief: “SUCH a scenario would be a critical test of how democratic a Scottish state would be. Democracy MAX, would be…” Jun 21, 16:45
Chas on Holiday Relief: “Link posted for the 792nd time. Only 208 to go before the magic number. This will probably be achieved in…” Jun 21, 16:28
Chas on Holiday Relief: “I wonder how long it took you to write that drivel? On the plus side, Alfie boy will be pleased.…” Jun 21, 16:21
Xaracen on Holiday Relief: “It’s called sovereignty, Andy, and neither party to the Treaty gave their sovereignty up, or agreed to subordinate their sovereignty…” Jun 21, 16:07
agent x on Holiday Relief: “Once the UN declare that Scotland should be Independent and UDI is declared, who will form the Scottish Government?” Jun 21, 16:00
Captain Caveman on Holiday Relief: “Indeed Andy. It’s like they’re all trying to outdo each other in the stupidity stakes; one ever more idiotic claim…” Jun 21, 15:56
TURABDIN on Holiday Relief: “ANY system which creates a psychological dependency might be termed a species of «slavery». In the contemporary world whips and…” Jun 21, 15:40
Insider on Holiday Relief: “Codeman! Perhaps you and “puir auld alf ” should get a cave together somewhere ! Just think ! You could…” Jun 21, 14:47
Andy Ellis on Holiday Relief: “@xaracen Where does it say in the Treaties of Union that Scots MPs could overturn the decisions of the whole…” Jun 21, 14:43
Andy Ellis on Holiday Relief: “I’m afraid for the hard of thinking such hyperbole is de rigeur. See also Ms Goldberg and her recent false…” Jun 21, 14:31
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “Defo a synergy there, NC. A sermon on irrelevancy, written in Scots. Looking forwards to it already ” Jun 21, 13:58
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “It’s the branding that turns my stomach. And the chopping off of the feet of runaways. And the lopping of…” Jun 21, 13:49
Oneliner on Holiday Relief: “That was Cromwell’s way. Cumberland couldn’t be arsed – he just killed everyone.” Jun 21, 13:40
TURABDIN on Holiday Relief: “A MUST READ….. https://archive.is/rY6re PUNCHY!” Jun 21, 13:23
Xaracen on Holiday Relief: “A more interesting question for Scots, perhaps, sarah; As a Scot, are you comfortable with the Scottish MPs’ acceptance that…” Jun 21, 13:09
TURABDIN on Holiday Relief: “When «slavery» goes digital the wise pull the plug. although those cuddly providers may already have conceived of that possibility.…” Jun 21, 13:05
Captain Caveman on Holiday Relief: “Would you just listen to this: who knew that Scotland’s “slavery” is commensurate and akin to the 1950s subjugation of…” Jun 21, 12:53
Dan on Holiday Relief: “Make your mind up will you slippery Eellis boy, and have you not get anything better in your wording armoury…” Jun 21, 12:35
James Cheyne on Holiday Relief: “Alf Baird. Slavery was not abolished, it evolved into colonisation, That is true Alf, in fact Slavery is step 1…” Jun 21, 12:21
James Cheyne on Holiday Relief: “Sarah, This wings over Scotland site is good and does a braw job on exposing the attitude from others towards…” Jun 21, 12:10
Andy Ellis on Holiday Relief: “@sarah The issue surely is that not enough of the 56 were in fact “good yins”. I still cannot for…” Jun 21, 11:58
Alf Baird on Holiday Relief: “Yes James, in postcolonial literature a colonized people are indeed ‘procured’; and in the case of Scots we hiv been…” Jun 21, 11:48