Many expert observers have already noted that the document flatly contradicts the Scottish Government’s previous repeated and strenuous assertions that a Gender Recognition Certificate confers “no new rights” on trans people, and have published extremely detailed assessments which are frankly all but impenetrable to non-lawyers but basically conclude that the Scottish Government’s position is a mess.
Our favourite line, however, is this one.
So if you’re obliged to have a 50/50 sex balance in your boardroom, you can do it by hiring a man with a GRC saying he’s legally female, or by hiring a woman.
We believe that the young folk nowadays call that a “self-own”.
As a lifelong political geek and former SNP and Alba Party member, I’ve spent years supporting Scotland’s independence movement. However, over the last few years, I’ve watched the campaign (as opposed to support for independence) wither away. Being a Scottish nationalist has become increasingly disheartening, like watching someone you love succumb to a slow, debilitating illness. In frustration, I switched off from my homeland and turned my focus to the drama of US politics.
Over the last three years I immersed myself in it, watching both left and right-wing outlets. I became so hooked and invested that I jumped on a plane to Washington DC for the 2024 election. I canvassed with DC Democrats in rural Pennsylvania (that’s me third from the left in the pic below), attended Kamala Harris’s concession rally, and went to Trump’s only watch party in DC.
My journey led me to believe that Scotland’s independence campaign could learn a great deal from Trump’s victory and the Democrats’ failure.
We’ll give you three guesses as to the highly controversial and extravagantly taxpayer-funded organisation that has its rainbow fingerprints all over this story, readers.
So it looks like the USA has elected a mad orange rapist convicted of 34 felonies who could yet be in jail by the time of his inauguration. (He would remain President even if that happened, which would be really funny.) And we can’t even blame them for it, because the alternative they were offered was, remarkably and stupendously, worse.
To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Alex Salmond will be laid to rest in the green turf of Aberdeenshire today in a quiet and dignified private ceremony. (A public celebration of his life will take place next month.)
Most of Scotland’s press and commentariat beclowned itself shamefully after his death just as it did during his life, but below is a (regrettably short) collection of those who did otherwise and who deserve to be noted honourably beside the man himself.
Redaction is a tricky business, and comes with numerous pitfalls even if you’re being careful, which not everyone is. If you’re involved in creating a document you know will have to be redacted, there are a variety of safeguarding approaches you can adopt.
When I worked on a videogames magazine called Amiga Power in the 1990s, we ran a fun comedy feature about censorship. But because the company that published the magazine had had some unfortunate mishaps in the field, we took extra care by typing all the “offensive” words as random-length strings of Xs when we wrote the article.
And it was lucky that we did, because as you can see in the feature’s strapline, the art department misaligned the red redaction bar on some of them, and if there’d been a sweary in there it would have been easily identified.
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “I do agree Alf, albeit with the almighty caveat that Ru**ia is currently the poster boy of imperialism and warmongering.…” Oct 19, 11:08
factchecker on Faces In Sand: ““Life under the union Jack stinks and associates us with the crimes against humanity they have committed over many hundreds…” Oct 19, 11:05
Captain Caveman on Faces In Sand: “”Most of the French thinks it’s a great thing, tearing down the system of centuries old colonialist racism and all…” Oct 19, 10:54
Southernbystander on Faces In Sand: “The French have a tradition of using street protest to get political change (I won’t comment on whether that is…” Oct 19, 10:25
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: “Its you and your hypocritical imperialistic kind who aye advocate bombing other countries Hatey, for which there are always consequences,…” Oct 19, 10:14
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “If only Scotland could find a Scottish coke heid of his calibre to lead us. Not that you’ll agree. You…” Oct 19, 09:57
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “How odd that 20 million people would want to flee from the same people who are helping out Scotland at…” Oct 19, 08:44
Colin Dawson on Faces In Sand: “Collette Stevenson’s mistake is quite understandable, given the SNP’s total obsession with transgender issues over the past decade or so.…” Oct 19, 00:00
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “Is this migration coming from that war torn country that was serving conscription papers on beaches? That is just another…” Oct 18, 23:05
Elmac on Faces In Sand: “The title of Faces in Sand would be more appropriate as Faeces in Sand. How anyone with a brain, a…” Oct 18, 23:02
Willie on Faces In Sand: “Let’s try again to get through moderation. The potential for huge white immigration from a European country looms large. They…” Oct 18, 21:41
Willie on Faces In Sand: “20 million Ukr##nans are wanting to leave. With Britain in lockstep political alignment, if not blood brothers, the UK might…” Oct 18, 21:35
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “@ Hatey My comment was meant to be criticism as too many people have no critical thinking nowadays due to…” Oct 18, 21:17
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: ““colossally mishandled by the French state, of course” No “of course” about it here. You should back up your claim…” Oct 18, 21:04
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “@ Spartan 117 This talk of certain demographics need to be taken in context. I haven’t been following the protests…” Oct 18, 20:49
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: ““Most of the French think it’s a great thing” Michty! My BS meter has shorted out again. But we can…” Oct 18, 20:49
WhoRattledYourCage on Faces In Sand: “I’ll write about what I feel like writing about. It’s not important, I did say that. I am bigoted against…” Oct 18, 20:48
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “There y’are, Hatey. Woke before it was even a thing. Then there’s was that Scottish engineer fae Lithgae on the…” Oct 18, 20:48
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “Found this article about Gen Z woman revisting classic British comedies where on one comedy they found The show’s physical…” Oct 18, 20:44
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “I doubt there will be any white asylum seekers coming over on the channel in a dinghy. Most of the…” Oct 18, 20:34
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “@Spartan 117 There was a Scottish black bloke in Porridge. The mind boggles!” Oct 18, 20:31
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “Rab C Nesbitt wouldn’t have been so popular south of the border if it wasn’t for the drunken Scotch stereotype.…” Oct 18, 20:30
agentx on Faces In Sand: “” John Swinney compared to dictator as bus plans branded ‘business confiscation’ John Swinney has been compared to dictators as…” Oct 18, 20:24
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “It is indeed concerning as it appears to be spreading. The demographic *allegedly* driving the unrest, if true, is noteworthy…” Oct 18, 20:24
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “Right. So there is. Rab wisnae offensive then, or Pete The Jakey, cos it was Scottish. Best not mention Navid…” Oct 18, 20:12
Southernbystander on Faces In Sand: “Thing is the article spends the first half slagging off a panel of three women, white, brown and black for…” Oct 18, 19:56
WhoRattledYourCage on Faces In Sand: “Those programmes are all Scottish, and none of them was done out of pure hatred and bigotry and cheap laughs.…” Oct 18, 19:40
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “What’s going on in France right now is quite concerning. Just when it looked as if WM was making inroads…” Oct 18, 19:24
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “To be fair to James, that was a pretty good post of his with good points, a by no means…” Oct 18, 19:20
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “Presumably you also take extreme offence to Rab C Nesbitt, Chewin’ The Fat and Still Game for their tropes.” Oct 18, 19:02