Wings Over Scotland

They say that men think about sex every six seconds. Apparently Jenny Marra thinks about Alex Salmond every 12, as she manages to get his name into this 48-second clip from last night’s BBC Scotland debate no fewer than four times, though the question was about reducing poverty by saving money on aircraft carriers and Trident.

We still don’t really understand why Labour think focusing their entire political strategy on personally attacking the most popular politician in the country is a smart ploy, but far be it from us to tell them their job when it’s been such a success for them so far.

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If you’re not familiar with Glasgow, the distance on foot between Shettleston in the city’s east and Maryhill in the west is roughly seven and a half miles. That information will become relevant a few minutes into the video below.

You might want to share it with people.

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Later this morning the Queen will launch a vessel named after herself at the Rosyth naval dockyards. Earlier, the First Sea Lord, Admiral Sir George Zambellas, appeared on the BBC News channel dripping in gold braid and medals to revel in the delivery of his shiny new toy, or at least the hull of it.

(Rather crassly Sir George claimed that it was being given the name of not just the current monarch but “both our Queen Elizabeths”, even though Scotland has only ever had one Queen Elizabeth and the ship itself tactfully avoids adding a “II” on the end.)

In what was an all-round virtuoso display of foot-shooting, the esteemed Admiral was also keen to point out just how few jobs would be supported by HMS Big Grey Floating Car Park – which won’t actually carry any fighter jets until 2020 – noting that “this ship only has 600 people aboard… that is a fraction of previous vessels of this size”.

And that got us to thinking.

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Honest Alistair Darling, interviewed by the BBC in 2008.

Smooth.

Our secret agent in the No camp’s taken a real risk to bring you this one, readers. Smuggled out under cover of dusk, we’ve managed to get hold of the early rushes of the first ever combined referendum TV and cinema broadcast on behalf of the Unionist parties and the main campaigning organisations.

As you can see, they’re turning up the fear. Don’t have nightmares.

We think this is how Ed actually sees it.

Because remember, readers, nationalism is a virus.

Reports seismic disturbance. (Again.)

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“…make sure you keep a place by your side for us.”

Now that’s what we call lovebombing.

We know only a few of you sit through these long video clips, but for the benefit of those who do this is a slightly unusual debate organised by the Prospect trade union and chaired by Magnus Gardham of the Herald, which took place at the union’s conference in Glasgow last month and saw Anas Sarwar and Nicola Sturgeon quizzed on some quite specific topics by various representatives of civic Scotland.

Readers can, as ever, come to their own conclusions as to which of the two gave the most convincing and honest answers, but one line from early on did leap out at us.

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WEDNESDAY: Panini “politics sticker album” jokes are evidence of vile abuse:

SUNDAY: Panini “politics sticker album” jokes are light-hearted comedy material:

The BBC: you have to pay for this or you go to jail, readers.

For our 2,500th post we wanted to say something positive about the media for a change, and the opportunity has presented itself, albeit in a sad way. BBC Radio Scotland’s Sunday morning show “Headlines” is the only political programme – radio or telly – that we made a point of never missing, and today is its last episode.

Canned by the state broadcaster for reasons as yet unexplained, it’s going to leave a big hole in our weekends. Presenter Ken Macdonald’s warm, relaxed, funny and always even-handed style never failed to bring out the best in guests from everywhere on the political and cultural spectrum, and it was a show that always sounded like everyone on it was not only having a good time but making the listener part of it too.

We’re fighting hard to beat back our cynicism about the reasons for it going, and our dismay that it’s to be replaced from next week by a new programme hosted by just what absolutely nobody was crying out for – more bloody politicians. So we’ll cut that line of thinking short and just say thanks to everyone on the show for making us smile every Sunday no matter what, and always making the independence debate feel a little bit less nasty, even if only for an hour at a time.

This one’s for you, Ken.

Is mine, of course. From last night’s Scotland Tonight, in case you missed it:

Particular kudos to STV for finding footage (it’s right at the start of this clip) of Clare Lally introducing and launching Johann Lamont’s Scottish Labour leadership bid in November 2011, even though the Daily Record said in August 2012 that she had “no previous political experience”. We expect someone will resign.

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