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The conscious uncoupling 116

Posted on May 27, 2023 by

The Battered Can 121

Posted on May 26, 2023 by

When I was a boy at Balbardie Primary School in Bathgate in the mid-70s, football was banned in the playground. Of course we were all fitba-daft laddies, so we sought ways around the prohibition. Occasionally someone would bring in a tennis ball, but those were difficult to control in school shoes and also apt to fly over the wall of the outdoor toilet block if somebody caught one sweetly on the volley.

So most playtimes somebody would produce a tin of Pepsi or Irn-Bru or Cresta, chug the contents, stand the empty container on its end and stomp sharply on it, producing something more akin to an ice-hockey puck that would serve for our kickabout.

But even after being skelped and scudded around a concrete playground into stone walls for 20 minutes, that can was still in better shape at the end of our game than the one the SNP have been kicking down the road since 2016.

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Dirty Rotten Scoundrels 459

Posted on May 21, 2023 by

If you’re still falling for this idiot-fodder after seven years, give yourself a shake.

Because for the love of Christ, an orangutan would have twigged by now. And we’re not talking about the long-suffering fans of Dundee United.

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In your face 82

Posted on May 20, 2023 by

The SNP now seem to be involved in some sort of competition where they dare each other to come up with the most blatant insult to their own members and/or the wider independence movement and see just how much they can get people to put up with.

First up was this drivel:

Humza Yousaf is leader of the SNP, a political party whose defining purpose – arguably its SOLE real purpose – is the pursuit of Scottish independence, but his “vision for Scotland” didn’t include a single mention of it.

Instead, Yousaf intends to spend the next three years on “equality”, “opportunity” and “community”, three meaningless buzzwords which every political party on Earth would claim to be in favour of. He might as well have identified his key values as kittens, lollipops and hugs.

But it gets worse.

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The Small Good Hamster 106

Posted on May 20, 2023 by

Full ahead backwards 200

Posted on May 19, 2023 by

Just slightly under four weeks ago, this site told you It seems very much as though the strategy has reverted to ‘Beg the UK government for a Section 30, and when they refuse, wait a while then beg them again'”.

Once again, we’re dismayed to report that we called it right. Because last night SNP MSP Mairi McAllan, officially representing the party on Question Time, told a weary audience in Fort William that that was precisely the case.

And readers, if ever a policy has been tested in battle and found wanting, it’s that one.

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Someone tell us the rules 135

Posted on May 18, 2023 by

As we told you on Tuesday, this happened today:

And we just can’t tell how it works any more.

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The King Of Wishful Thinking 150

Posted on May 17, 2023 by

We had to check this wasn’t Photoshopped.

It isn’t.

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Running interference 64

Posted on May 17, 2023 by

Alert readers will have noticed some interesting stories recently.

The Scottish Sun’s scoop on Monday evening – a few hours after we tweeted information from a very well-informed source about the Crown Office’s continued attempts to obstruct Police Scotland’s investigation into the SNP’s finances – would have come as no great surprise to Wings readers already familiar with the way the unaccountable, unanswerable body operates.

But we’ve subsequently noticed a number of attempts by various people to muddy the story by talking about a “draft” warrant request, implying that there was no improper delay. So we checked up, and thought you might like to know how the process works.

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Battle Of The Rejects 151

Posted on May 16, 2023 by

This is where Scottish politics is now.

And it’s a properly grim state of affairs, readers.

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In A Hole 569

Posted on May 13, 2023 by

A standard progression 108

Posted on May 11, 2023 by

It begins:

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    • Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Why would you describe a Green candidate (now MP) who campaigned in Urdu as English? Just curious!Feb 27, 08:15
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    • GM on The Tactics Of Suicide: “AFeb 27, 00:16
    • Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Geri is my alter ego. You can thank the Scottish government for my early release.Feb 26, 23:26
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    • Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Never mind that. What were the odds of both you and Geri re-appearing within hours of each other after absences…Feb 26, 22:40
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    • Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “If you were given a choice to bet on the future outcome of the following people. Who would you put…Feb 26, 21:58
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    • Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Man of experience and wisdom. Uncle Alf knows best.Feb 26, 21:33
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    • Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “AX Sounds a bit like you have beaver fever 🙂Feb 26, 20:45
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