Yeah, bit behind schedule on this one. Sorry. You know how it is.
No.3 – Earth Defence Force 2017
EDF2017 pretty much killed static-console gaming for me. Apart from Super Mario Galaxy (which exists in a separate category to pretty much all other videogames), it’s the last game for any of the mainstream formats that I’ve invested any significant amount of time in, because nothing’s ever been this much fun again.
Alert WoS viewers will have seen this a while ago, but as it’s my all-time favourite piece of videogames-related art it’s worth repeating for the hundreds of new readers of WoSblog. Once you’ve grasped what it is you won’t expect that you’re going to watch all nine minutes of it. But you will.
WoSland is planning a two-person weekday trip to London soon. A simple enough undertaking, right?
But of course it isn't. Ever since the UK's railways were privatised by lovable Mrs Thatcher, it's a well-documented fact that (a) we have the most expensive rail network on Earth, and (b) trying to find out the best and cheapest way to travel between any two points is an insane labyrinthine nightmare of routes, operators, countless different ticket types and "magic stations" – places in the middle of your journey where for no obvious reason you can mysteriously slash the price of your ticket by pretending to make your journey in multiple stages, even though you never actually get off the train or even change seats.
The content industry has a long and shameful history of spurious figures when it comes to the subject of intellectual-property piracy. This much we already knew. But the most recent set of “statistics” on the economic cost of piracy – which have, of course, been seized on and repeated unquestioningly by the press – may have set some sort of record.
There’s been something of a Biblical flood of the-end-of-civilisation movies in recent years. From 2007’s 28 Weeks Later(zombie plague) and I Am Legend (cancer cure gone wrong) to Charlie Brooker’s harrowing alleged comedy Dead Set(another zombie plague), the BBC’s remake of Survivors(lethal virus pandemic) and the same broadcaster’s re-remake of The Day Of The Triffids (er, homicidal walking plants), 2009 mega-budget effects-fest 2012(the classic “solar flares cause planet to boil from the inside”), and right up to this year’s The Road (unnamed catastrophic event), the cultural world is suddenly alive with the mass culling of humanity. Hurrah!
The one avenue for the obliteration of mankind that hasn’t been explored for a while is the classic nuclear holocaust, even though – or possibly because – an increasingly aggressive and powerful Russia has been rattling its sabre on the world stage for the first time in two decades. However, with the imminent The Book Of Eli making reference to a war that leaves the planet a ravaged wasteland, it looks like the atomic menace is back, Back, BACK! Which got WoSland thinking – what's the bleakest nuclear holocaust movie ever?
As the writer of the Definitive series of games histories for Retro Gamer, the bane of my life is websites repeating stuff they found somewhere else and didn’t bother to check. Because if the original “fact” isn’t actually true, the weight of repetition quickly causes it to become accepted as the truth anyway, and you end up with a load of cobblers becoming the official historical record, at least until I have to come along and fix it, usually by playing the game(s) all the way to the bloody end myself.
(I suppose I shouldn’t complain, as if it didn’t happen so much Retro Gamer’s first feature on R-Type wouldn’t have been SO full of glaring errors that I couldn’t stop myself writing them an angry letter about it, and thereby managing to secure the Definitive gig in the first place, which has been quite a nice little earner.)
And printing rubbish about games can still be dangerous even if you think you’re really obviously joking, as this picture I recently found lurking on my hard drive proves:
I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that a person's view on Love And Monsters is the single most telling indicator of their personality – specifically, the personality aspect of whether they're a soulless cretin or not.
L&M is by most measures the oddest episode of Doctor Who since the show's reinvention in 2005. Written by series producer Russell T Davies, it's an episode in which he appears to deliberately burden himself with as many handicaps as possible.
If people really can’t behave in other comment threads and insist on derailing them with irrelevant and disruptive posts, as a last resort the comments in question will be moved here. People are also free to use it for general off-topic chat.
Alf Baird on The Wheels Of Industry: “We know that denial is part of the colonial condition, so no surprise you twa canna, or rather winna see…” Jul 21, 10:11
100%Yes on The Wheels Of Industry: “Swinney Speaking to the Press Association at Bute House, said he wanted Burnham to devolve energy and economic powers to…” Jul 21, 09:58
robertkknight on The Wheels Of Industry: “The biggest trick the colonial oppressor ever pulled was to convince the oppressed that their presence was entirely benevolent in…” Jul 21, 09:47
Minceheid on The Wheels Of Industry: “Just on the side, the collected body of Aurelius’ writings which came to be known as “Meditations” reveals a rather…” Jul 21, 09:35
desimond on The Wheels Of Industry: “All the money spinning conventions will move the dial not one iota..but will help the bank balance of a choice…” Jul 21, 09:33
100%Yes on The Wheels Of Industry: “The SNP/Scottish government has no power they even took it to court to prove it to themselves. So the new…” Jul 21, 09:19
Chas on The Wheels Of Industry: “They must have a huge amount of paper clips to be counted and pencils to be sharpened at the UN.…” Jul 21, 09:17
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “Is it that you write your best posts between 2 and 3 am? But what’s that got to do with…” Jul 21, 08:18
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “I suspect that most Scots are blissfully unaware of their “colonial oppression”, Alf. Not having to worry about the “colonial…” Jul 21, 08:12
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “Everybody had better wheesht about the £150+ billion per annum. Extraordinary, though, how even two professors together can contrive to…” Jul 21, 08:03
Young Lochinvar on The Wheels Of Industry: “Just pondering history, with some links to (what would be) Scotland. Emperor Hadrian (of wall fame) listed his successor as…” Jul 21, 02:55
Mark Beggan on The Wheels Of Industry: “Kemp is sitting in a crashed car trying to convince the passengers and eye-witnesses that the car is still road…” Jul 21, 00:28
Alf Baird on The Wheels Of Industry: ““Maybe we need to spend a few years wondering what’s to be done before we work out what’s to be…” Jul 20, 23:17
Harper (Kenneth John) on The Wheels Of Industry: “Who funds the National ? as I doubt its sales revenue, hope its not the missing Yes Scotland funds” Jul 20, 22:10
Spade on The Wheels Of Industry: “This is the post-apocalyptic political landscape that was anticipated a few years ago, the inevitable consequence of the SNP crime…” Jul 20, 21:34
sam on The Wheels Of Industry: “Professors Henderson and Wyn Jones have done studies on the “Future of England” over a number of yeaars. The findings…” Jul 20, 20:33
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “I didn’t know the devil bought soles.” Jul 20, 20:25
Knuckle_Heid on The Wheels Of Industry: “Seriously, who pays money to read this garbage? Endlessly promising a better future (we just need to be patient &…” Jul 20, 20:15
100%Yes on The Wheels Of Industry: “Thank god you told us the nitty gritty. To be honest I’d rather sell my sole to the devil than…” Jul 20, 19:57
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “@Dan Your final paragraph is exactly right.” Jul 20, 19:46
sam on The Wheels Of Industry: ““The findings showed: 60% of voters in England say current politics makes them feel angry 55% say it makes them…” Jul 20, 19:26
100%Yes on The Wheels Of Industry: “robertkknight A parasite is a living thing the SNP is dead.” Jul 20, 18:33
100%Yes on The Wheels Of Industry: “John Swinney leader of the SNP, just been elected on a huge lie, but his top priority is the cost…” Jul 20, 18:27
Dan on The Wheels Of Industry: ““He doesn’t cite any evidence for that figure, although it does pretty much correspond with what pro-indy parties got in…” Jul 20, 18:22
Neil Singleton on These Words Are My Own: “Do remember that Sturgeon is one of the two “Shipman Sisters” with the now departed Freeman. And never forget that…” Jul 20, 18:19
twathater on The Wheels Of Industry: “What grinds my gears is the amount of gullibility surrounding independence supporters, FFS are they blind can they not see…” Jul 20, 17:53
sam on The Wheels Of Industry: “Depressingly accurate demolition of BiS. Next up AUOB? Funds misappropriated? I do hope not. We need a few marches in…” Jul 20, 17:42
Neil Singleton on These Words Are My Own: “The ferries scandal has all the hallmarks of a corrupt, money laundering scam. Obscene and unjustifiable cost increases throughout the…” Jul 20, 17:34
Dan on Progressing To Oblivion: “But does that really matter when you probably have a really fancy ass coffee machine and an expensive fountain pen……” Jul 20, 17:25
