One of the compensations of living in England (from the perspective of editing a website about Scottish politics) is that you get a much clearer picture of how English people – who make up 85% of the UK electorate, and as such in practice determine who the government is – see the country’s political leaders.
For those of you who don’t, here’s Charlie Brooker – a man who’s no fan of the Tories by any stretch of the imagination – casting a weary and exasperated eye over Ed “these strikes are wrong” Miliband on last night’s Weekly Wipe.
In our experience it’s a pretty accurate snapshot of how the hapless Labour leader is regarded by most left-leaning people down on this side of the border. You’ll need to have seen the rest of the episode to get the “Schofield!” joke.
There’s a very strange article on the front page of the Herald website this morning. It’s an interview with Nigel Farage in which the UKIP leader insists that his party, not the SNP, will hold the balance of power in the UK parliament after May’s election.
It’s a bold assertion given that current projections put the SNP on anywhere from 30 to 56 seats with UKIP expected to struggle to get 5 to 10. But Farage’s rationale for the statement is an interesting one.
The abusive Facebook comments recently directed at Labour MP Margaret Curran and highlighted in a piece on the STV website today make us sigh. Not only are they horrible but they’re counter-productive, in every sense of the term – they’re not going to change Curran’s mind about anything by yelling at her, and they feed a narrative about “vile cybernats” that the media is all too eager to gleefully perpetuate.
So let’s make something clear from the off: shut up, idiots. You’re not helping.
Because a good satirist can sometimes make a point better in seven sentences than idiots like us can in a 1000-word article, and make it funny at the same time.
The very few readers who don’t immediately just snort and turn the page when they see the words “George Foulkes” may have noticed in yesterday’s Herald that the thirsty peer could be found gloating gleefully that had Scotland voted for independence last September it would now be “bankrupt” due to the decline in oil prices.
We can’t be bothered pointing out for the 500th time that a Yes vote wouldn’t have seen Scotland actually independent until March 2016, and that the oil price NOW is therefore about as relevant to anything as, well, Baron Foulkes himself.
But we couldn’t help noticing a couple of small arithmetical details.
There really isn’t very much of a news story in this morning’s Sun “exclusive” that some Labour MPs say they’d quit the party rather than work with the SNP should the electorate deliver such a result in May. One told the paper:
Those of us who remember the parade of furious Scottish Labour figures going on TV and openly threatening to scupper any “rainbow coalition” involving the Nats in 2010, thereby ensuring that David Cameron and George Osborne came to power, won’t be the least bit surprised at the sheer depth of hatred and jealous rage that consumes Labour’s branch office in North Britain when the SNP are mentioned.
And there’s nothing eyebrow-raisingly new in Scottish Labour’s spiteful determination that if Scots vote against the Conservatives – but not for Labour – they should be punished with Tory governments. It’s the standard policy of electoral blackmail that the party has deployed against the rise of rivals from the left for years, and which it’s now also turning against the Greens south of the border.
But there is a telling phrase in that short quote.
Independent website Political Compass has just released its 2015 graph charting the ideological positions of all the political parties of the UK. It’s a fairly predictable one.
On the image above, we’ve added, for parties active in Scotland only, striped circles indicating each party’s 2010 position. But what does it tell us about 2015?
It’s somehow fitting that the lead article on Labour Hame today is headed by a lie before it even starts – an offer to join the party for £1 that takes you to a page where it actually costs five times as much.
(We’d noticed days ago that the much-hyped £1 offer had been quietly dumped after just a month, but it appears that nobody in the Scottish branch office thought to keep poor hapless Labour Hame in the loop.)
The article below, though, is remarkably even more dishonest.
A number of readers last night sent us copies of the response to complaints they’d made to the Independent Press Standards Organisation about the Daily Record’s infamous “The Vow” front cover. We attach the full judgement at the bottom of this article, and as far as we’re concerned it’s fair and accurate. The Vow was a deliberate deception, but it didn’t break any rules – it merely relied on readers misinterpreting it.
The bit we’re still interested in is the paragraph above.
robertkknight on The Idiot Rodeo: “Sad but true. Gives me no pleasure to recall door stepping as a candidate, twice, in local elections for a…” Dec 14, 21:20
Hatey McHateface on How Far To Go, How Far: “I guess your attention span didn’t last to the end, Alf. That will be how you missed: “Sovereign Scots just…” Dec 14, 20:13
Hatey McHateface on The Idiot Rodeo: “No way. For your own safety and sanity you’ll get a fifth of a gill of what he’s drinking, in…” Dec 14, 20:08
Eddie Munster on The Idiot Rodeo: “I think it’s our fault. We all joined up as members but never turned up to the local branch meetings,…” Dec 14, 19:56
Platinum on The Idiot Rodeo: “I still can’t believe we’re having to fight against something so phenomenally STUPID!” Dec 14, 19:12
Bobo bunny on The Idiot Rodeo: “Unfortunately, no beers.” Dec 14, 19:05
Bobo bunny on The Idiot Rodeo: “I’ll have a pint of whatever he’s drinking…” Dec 14, 19:03
Alf Baird on How Far To Go, How Far: ““Scotland will be £150+ billion PA better of after Indy.” Deid richt, gie that mannie a coconut! https://yoursforscotlandcom.wordpress.com/2024/03/19/the-real-economic-price-of-the-uk-union-for-scots/comment-page-1/” Dec 14, 18:39
agentx on The Idiot Rodeo: ““Richplanet TV a real independent journalist” ———————————————— Richard Hall who runs Richplanet. A conspiracist who claimed the Manchester Arena bombing…” Dec 14, 18:09
twathater on The Idiot Rodeo: “PC that would certainly put the cat amongst the snp trannies and would bring plenty of publicity to the cause…” Dec 14, 18:05
twathater on The Idiot Rodeo: “DIRECT DEMOCRACY is the ONLY way to sort THIS and every other lunatic policy out, politicians today are definitely a…” Dec 14, 17:40
PC Foster on The Idiot Rodeo: “Sandie Peggie for First Minister. She needs to stand. The Sandie Peggie Party (SPP). Bring it on please.” Dec 14, 17:25
Liz on The Idiot Rodeo: “The NEC is fixed This is why I disagree with having separate groups, women, LBGTQWERTY, BAME, neurodivergent It leads to…” Dec 14, 16:39
100%Yes on The Idiot Rodeo: “The SNP has spent 90yrs fighting for Independence and replaced it with trans rights. Just take a look at what…” Dec 14, 16:15
100%Yes on The Idiot Rodeo: “The tickets to the Idiot Rodeo Championship go on sale on Thursday 7 May 2026, it’ll be worth watching.” Dec 14, 16:07
100%Yes on The Idiot Rodeo: “But it was posted in the Sunday mail it has to be true! If the SNP had shown as much…” Dec 14, 16:02
Sven on The Idiot Rodeo: “Alison @ 14.50. Jig away, Alison, as far as I’m concerned SNP and Scottish Independence are a contradiction in terms.” Dec 14, 15:26
James on How Far To Go, How Far: “22% turnout. Some ‘victory’. Dinnae pish yer breeks too soon, Yoons.” Dec 14, 15:01
Alison on The Idiot Rodeo: “I’m so fed up with this constant obfuscation & prevarication. This issue will bury the SNP & when it does,…” Dec 14, 14:50
Stuart MacKay on The Idiot Rodeo: “> half-witted cowboys There you go again. Discriminating against horses based just on their appearance. The piece from Out For…” Dec 14, 14:50
Young Lochinvar on The Idiot Rodeo: “Yippee kayae! Holyrood; full of steers and queers. SNPs National Council? I don’t see any horns there so I guess…” Dec 14, 14:50
shug on The Idiot Rodeo: “It looks like the UK gov is holding back on their guidance to let the Scottish Gov make a complete…” Dec 14, 14:43
Marie on The Idiot Rodeo: “I’m so glad that even as a bitterly disappointed “Yes” voter I still decided NOT to give the repugnant SNP…” Dec 14, 14:42
Billy Carlin on The Idiot Rodeo: “Hi Stu They have got to keep their agenda going while keeping people steered away from what is really going…” Dec 14, 14:42
Effijy on The Idiot Rodeo: “Now if I ran a political party and the most popular political web site called me a liar I would…” Dec 14, 14:35
Young Lochinvar on How Far To Go, How Far: “Will LGBT YOOF Scotland be included in the grooming gangs probe? Add in the train activists demonstrating so that they…” Dec 14, 13:49
Hatey McHateface on How Far To Go, How Far: “Please first clarify signed by who. Or should that be whom? £40 is a fair price, though. Elvis charged me…” Dec 14, 13:32
Cynicus on How Far To Go, How Far: “You can get 16 /1to 17 /1 against 0-0 online It might be worth a punt at such long odds.…” Dec 14, 13:07