As readers will know, when professional broadcast journalists can’t or won’t do their jobs properly, we’re not above jumping in ourselves.
So when someone tweeted to tell us that Jim Murphy had just started a phone-in on London station LBC, it seemed an ideal opportunity to quickly ring up and try directly asking him the question that Scottish Labour really, really don’t want to answer.
An alert reader pointed us to this edition of Newsnight we’d missed earlier this month, featuring the renowned Conservative Party chairman and liar Grant Shapps MP.
The population of the UK, according to the 2011 census, is 63,128,000. Shapps just told us he only cares about 11,200 of them (or 0.018%), because apparently those are all the votes the Tories need to turn round to secure an absolute majority in May’s general election. We very much doubt that any of the 23 target constituences he mentions, across which the required 11,200 votes are spread, are in Scotland.
And that, readers, is what the Tories (and, for that matter, Labour) really think of “the democratic will of the British people”. You may want to keep it in mind when you vote.
We’ve just had a fascinating email from Scottish Labour forwarded to us, from a concerned reader who’d written to them to ask if Labour would really refuse to form a government if they weren’t the largest party. The answer might not be the one anyone who’s seen the party’s election literature (below) would be expecting.
Because almost nobody in Westminster, whether they’re politicians or the media, ever pays any attention to anything outside SW1A, Alex Salmond’s comment in London yesterday that the SNP would vote against any Tory government in the event of a hung Parliament – which to any Scottish person was news as surprising as a weather forecast for rain – has been greeted with seemingly-genuine shock and horror.
Reporter after reporter has treated the non-revelations (which have been official SNP policy for as long as we can remember, and were stated explicitly by Nicola Sturgeon in November) as a stunning bolt from the blue, and Tory politicians and the right-wing media alike have burst into frothing, spluttering rage, based on the fact that apparently none of them grasps how either the UK electoral system or basic arithmetic work.
We’ve had to illustrate this piece with a tweet from our old chum Duncan Hothersall, because at the time of writing the Scottish Labour account on Twitter has no mention of Labour’s “five point plan”, and nor does the branch office’s website.
And the reason for the absence of any more information is probably that the “plan” is another example of a Labour policy that looks like a tasty boiled egg until you crack its shell and discover that there’s nothing inside.
Respect to John MacKay of STV, who on last night’s Scotland Tonight asked Labour MSP James Kelly the question this site has called for about whether Labour would stand aside and let the Tories rule if the latter were the largest party after May’s election, but Labour had enough seats to win a confidence vote and form the government with backing from the SNP and/or other parties.
Kelly, unsurprisingly, flapped and blustered and totally evaded it. But then we doubt he has the authority to make the tea in Scottish Labour, let alone speak for the party on key policy issues. If the question isn’t put repeatedly by all of the media to more senior Labour figures until an answer is produced, we’ll be wanting to know why.
Here’s Ed Miliband, giving a speech this morning to literally at least 20 Labour MPs, Labour MSPs, journalists and possibly a stray member of the public who accidentally walked through the wrong door in Clydebank, a place where Labour leaders used to address gatherings of thousands.
Unusually, Miliband took a few questions from the hacks, all of whom promptly wasted the opportunity by lobbing completely pointless softballs about coalitions and deals, all of which (a) have been asked a hundred times already, (b) were rendered moot by Alex Salmond on the Marr show yesterday, and (c) were only ever going to be batted away non-committally.
So here’s an actually worthwhile one they can ask instead next time.
We have to give Jim Murphy credit – on this week’s Sunday Politics he started off with the subtle, misleading but technically-accurate version of Labour’s line about the “biggest party forming the government”, which involves making the true but irrelevant observation that in the past it’s usually been the case. (Mainly because UK elections almost always give the biggest party a comfortable majority.)
But it only took a couple of minutes of questioning for the Scottish branch manager to lose his cool and resort to the comprehensively debunked flat-out lie again.
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Lorncal What are you suggesting is propaganda? It’s documented fact that the father of a disabled child asked the German…” Mar 19, 02:02
Lorncal on Looking up at the stars: “Geri: the Nazis certainly practised eugenics, on Jews, Slavs, the disabled, those with mental ill-health or illness, etc., but they…” Mar 18, 23:46
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Assisted dying bill; Automatic do not resuscitate classifications have been in operation for ages.. Anyway, assisted dying; Go to Muirhouse…” Mar 18, 22:03
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “As Maggie said, international law is all we’ve got between us & the barbarians. Ironic really cause they ARE the…” Mar 18, 21:38
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “MLA CRITICISES WOKE GOVERNMENT FORM An MLA (Member of the Legislative Assembly) has criticised the Northern Ireland Civil Service for…” Mar 18, 21:36
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “They have options. Those options don’t have to involve everyone else. If they want to check out then go for…” Mar 18, 21:25
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Last time I looked it wasn’t Poot offering euthanasia to avoid paying healthcare & pensions or sterilising his own population…” Mar 18, 20:57
Southernbystander on Looking up at the stars: “It is palpably untrue that supporting assisted dying is all about government population control – the statement is offensive and…” Mar 18, 20:57
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Surely half a bicycle is a cycle?” Mar 18, 20:02
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “When you write “us” Geri, is that you deploying your royal we again? That makes more sense than the alternative…” Mar 18, 20:00
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “With so many women in the workforce, there’s a lot of demand for anything that will help them slim down.” Mar 18, 19:48
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Mark WEF – where billionaires empty the contents of their head thinking no one is listening. They loathe the working…” Mar 18, 19:28
Northcode on Looking up at the stars: “I like it, Sam. Here’s one of Brian’s that sums up my attempts at humour in this place: “I saw…” Mar 18, 19:24
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “The UN is struggling to exist as it is running out of money and relevance. The Titanic of gravy boats…” Mar 18, 19:15
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “Are you pals with Starmer the wanker. That’s the same pish he talks.” Mar 18, 19:02
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “@Geri You take an assisted dying bill (defeated) and turn it into the toilet habits of the rich. The genocide…” Mar 18, 18:50
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “That’s last months flag. Do keep up.” Mar 18, 18:38
sam on Looking up at the stars: “A wry sense of humour indeed. “The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of…” Mar 18, 18:35
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “They’re not left. The billionaires are shitting themselves there’ll not be enough resources left in the world for them cause…” Mar 18, 18:11
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “America, Oops! I mean it’s proxy Iraq invaded Iran in 1980. A war lasting 9 years or so. Everything from…” Mar 18, 17:51
100%Yes on Looking up at the stars: “Welcome on board James, sorry about Alba but some how I believe it was deliberate because Alba was making progress…” Mar 18, 17:48
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “That’s because the Elite Left think people like you are scum.” Mar 18, 17:33
Lorncal on Looking up at the stars: “In Switzerland, it is mandatory, at both local (regional) and national level for referendums to be held on all major…” Mar 18, 17:05
Lorncal on Looking up at the stars: “Mark: I recall listening to a programme about Iran after the Shah was deposed, when Khomeini (1979, I think) had…” Mar 18, 15:56
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: ““big tent party” I guess the tent is implied by the flag. Still though, in the original meaning of “big…” Mar 18, 15:35
Jamie on Looking up at the stars: “Good article Rev. Talking about elections, as someone who was briefly politically homeless after the death of Alba, after some…” Mar 18, 15:19
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Tis true about the drugs. It even dispenses itself through a driver if swallowing starts to become difficult & even…” Mar 18, 13:59
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “A braw n grand sunlit day Oan ma bike n faraway Er the Clyde an alang the Kelvin Up Maryhill…” Mar 18, 13:36
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “God told me your a pain in the celestial arse.” Mar 18, 13:28
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Good to know God doesn’t go in for that Scots speaking bollox. Get Alf on the phone and tell him.” Mar 18, 13:21