Many expert observers have already noted that the document flatly contradicts the Scottish Government’s previous repeated and strenuous assertions that a Gender Recognition Certificate confers “no new rights” on trans people, and have published extremely detailed assessments which are frankly all but impenetrable to non-lawyers but basically conclude that the Scottish Government’s position is a mess.
Our favourite line, however, is this one.
So if you’re obliged to have a 50/50 sex balance in your boardroom, you can do it by hiring a man with a GRC saying he’s legally female, or by hiring a woman.
We believe that the young folk nowadays call that a “self-own”.
As a lifelong political geek and former SNP and Alba Party member, I’ve spent years supporting Scotland’s independence movement. However, over the last few years, I’ve watched the campaign (as opposed to support for independence) wither away. Being a Scottish nationalist has become increasingly disheartening, like watching someone you love succumb to a slow, debilitating illness. In frustration, I switched off from my homeland and turned my focus to the drama of US politics.
Over the last three years I immersed myself in it, watching both left and right-wing outlets. I became so hooked and invested that I jumped on a plane to Washington DC for the 2024 election. I canvassed with DC Democrats in rural Pennsylvania (that’s me third from the left in the pic below), attended Kamala Harris’s concession rally, and went to Trump’s only watch party in DC.
My journey led me to believe that Scotland’s independence campaign could learn a great deal from Trump’s victory and the Democrats’ failure.
We’ll give you three guesses as to the highly controversial and extravagantly taxpayer-funded organisation that has its rainbow fingerprints all over this story, readers.
So it looks like the USA has elected a mad orange rapist convicted of 34 felonies who could yet be in jail by the time of his inauguration. (He would remain President even if that happened, which would be really funny.) And we can’t even blame them for it, because the alternative they were offered was, remarkably and stupendously, worse.
To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Alex Salmond will be laid to rest in the green turf of Aberdeenshire today in a quiet and dignified private ceremony. (A public celebration of his life will take place next month.)
Most of Scotland’s press and commentariat beclowned itself shamefully after his death just as it did during his life, but below is a (regrettably short) collection of those who did otherwise and who deserve to be noted honourably beside the man himself.
Redaction is a tricky business, and comes with numerous pitfalls even if you’re being careful, which not everyone is. If you’re involved in creating a document you know will have to be redacted, there are a variety of safeguarding approaches you can adopt.
When I worked on a videogames magazine called Amiga Power in the 1990s, we ran a fun comedy feature about censorship. But because the company that published the magazine had had some unfortunate mishaps in the field, we took extra care by typing all the “offensive” words as random-length strings of Xs when we wrote the article.
And it was lucky that we did, because as you can see in the feature’s strapline, the art department misaligned the red redaction bar on some of them, and if there’d been a sweary in there it would have been easily identified.
Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Scotland has been protected by America since 1946. A free ride that has come to an abrupt end.” Apr 13, 17:20
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Better link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=LykbTn_sS4o” Apr 13, 16:27
Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““These freaks have zero morals & have zero regard for human life.” Indeed so, and to those of us studying…” Apr 13, 16:15
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “‘HUNGARY AFTER ORBÁN: WHAT NEXT?’ Informed analysis from Professor Kim Lane Scheppele: youtu.be/LykbTn_sS4o?si=KH45kBQUuI_XS_mO” Apr 13, 16:06
Cynicus on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Young Lochinvar says: 13 April, 2026 at 2:24 pm “Gaun Leo Excommunicate Von Trumphausen!!” ========== How can even the Vicar…” Apr 13, 15:46
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “He isn’t Catholic. He’s protestant with a dodgy as fck personal wackadoo pastor that allegedly has an even worse background…” Apr 13, 15:28
Northcode on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “AI Dan – the artificial man – gets its electric arse kicked by Geri… yet again. Apparently, the most valuable…” Apr 13, 13:16
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Search “Economist’s EXPOSÉ of ‘Ending Poverty in 2020’ Leaves World STUNNED” ..for the full hearing in the European parliament if…” Apr 13, 12:47
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““COVID central” Was actually the West. There are current hearings going on right now. The Eppy class are experimenting on…” Apr 13, 12:09
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “They DON’T PRODUCE ENOUGH! Carry on reading that Google reply. California is a state. They import from Mexico & Canada.…” Apr 13, 11:45
Lorncal on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “H McH: don’t ever underestimate the human propensity to cut its own throat at the height of its ecstasy. Undermining…” Apr 13, 11:37
J Robertson on Not So Octopus: “Update to my earlier post of 9 April 5.34 PM regarding the lack of information on forthcoming election candidates on…” Apr 13, 11:34
Lorncal on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Well, H McH: Geri isn’t far wrong, is she? Apparently, scientists are experimenting on small mammals in the field of…” Apr 13, 11:28
Aidan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Of course there is no truth in anything you’ve said there, it is lies and nonsense in its totality which…” Apr 13, 11:19
Aidan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “So if I googled who are the largest producers of heavy crude oil would I get the following: “The largest…” Apr 13, 11:13
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Again with the propaganda. There is a European war crim on their list. They’ve also been warned by the ICJ.…” Apr 13, 10:58
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Arsey, You really should learn how to use Google. There are different kinds of oil & different kinds of refineries,…” Apr 13, 10:29
Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Yes, clear to see that Swinney is a fan of the Green leadership, with both the latter helping him up…” Apr 13, 10:06
Northcode on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “No. I do not believe in the Westwood. The Westwood is as real as the Treaty of Union; as real…” Apr 13, 09:24
Young Lochinvar on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “HMcH Have you been let out of remand? Wilma Flintstones been pining for you.. Awww! I’ll keep this brief, Brent…” Apr 13, 06:40
Aidan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “As usual it is a 180 degree inversion from you. Those you describe as “poot and towel heads” are not…” Apr 13, 06:32
Aidan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The USA is not rich in fossil fuels says Geri. This is the same USA that is the number one…” Apr 13, 06:24
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I love that song LOL “You said you loved losers – well look at your team” .. bloody brilliant! “Your…” Apr 13, 00:39
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I’ve been listening to Baud for years. He’s excellent. That happened to him a few months ago. It’s terrible what…” Apr 13, 00:20
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Look at you, all big & all clever celebrating war crims, Jenny & bent, unelected midget president just lifting ppl…” Apr 12, 23:57
Confused on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““where is the lie”? www.youtube.com/watch?v=5G9DNx7xIIc but seriously https://archive.ph/QQgz6 telling the truth in wartime can get you in trouble – jacques…” Apr 12, 23:45
Confused on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Orban buys it; the only decent man in the EU. the 90B to yookie was a loan, but its the…” Apr 12, 23:41