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Some fine-tuning required 107

Posted on February 07, 2014 by

[Tristan: this is my first draft. Give it a once-over, there’s a chap. DC.]

People of England, Wales and Northern Ireland!

Scotland! Stop pulling that face. This is about you, but it’s not for you. Daddy’s speaking to the other children now. Don’t interrupt. Why? Because it’s rude. Look, I don’t care if that IS what Evan Davis does on the Today programme. Evan is a big boy, so he knows when he needs to step in to stop you embarrassing yourself.

davidcameronnn

Sorry, everyone, I’m afraid Scotland is a bit tired and crabby this morning. Must have had a little too much Irn Bru last night. [Pause here for laughter.] Anyway, we have lots to talk about, so let’s ignore their high-pitched whining and get on.

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Eight weeks later 50

Posted on February 07, 2014 by

From Oddschecker. Click to enlarge.

oddscheck

Proves nothing, of course. But the trend’s the thing, readers.

Ask and ye shall receive 165

Posted on February 07, 2014 by

Today, the Prime Minister of the UK, who wants Scotland to stay in the UK but won’t go there and make the case for it, asked the non-Scottish citizens of the rest of the UK to tell Scots how they felt about Scottish independence.

uktweets19

This is what some of them said.

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Taking no prisoners 114

Posted on February 07, 2014 by

Just to tide you over while we pop out to the shops, readers:

Can you tell we just recently got some good video-capture software?

Trading places 153

Posted on February 07, 2014 by

Sometimes it’s hard to shake the feeling that some sort of bizarre mass body-swap incident, such as those frequently depicted in comedy films like “Big” or “Freaky Friday”, must have happened in UK politics without anyone noticing.

Because on the day that David Cameron called on people elsewhere in the UK to plead with Scots to stay in the Union, English people are saying things like this:

(Warning: adult language.)

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The gift-horse dentist 209

Posted on February 07, 2014 by

We don’t entirely understand why the Times has this story as front page news, because it was covered in some detail in the Sunday Post a fortnight ago:

timesphone

But we couldn’t help thinking of the last time anyone tried something similar.

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Rare Pokemon captured 89

Posted on February 06, 2014 by

This sort of thing really shouldn’t be so startling and unusual that we feel we need to preserve it for posterity, but here’s someone on a BBC current-affairs programme giving a fair and balanced analysis of Scottish politics:

Based on the BBC’s track record this section will be missing when it goes out on the iPlayer, so we thought we better grab it while we could.

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Mindboggling things that happened today 89

Posted on February 06, 2014 by

This. This actually happened. We’re not making it up. Click it and see.

labtax

Go on, read it again. We dare you.

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Failure to engage 108

Posted on February 06, 2014 by

For some time now, we’ve been documenting a couple of intriguing aspects of the No campaign. One is its apparent shortage of grassroots activists, leaving “Better Together” to instead rely on the Scottish and UK media to get its message out. The other is a reluctance to engage in public debate with adults.

clintchair

Where BT has deigned to participate in public hustings at all, the bulk of the events have been those at schools and colleges. Invited to debate independence in front of crowds of grown-ups, the No camp is oddly reticent, as we discovered ourselves last year when we offered to pay for and set up a head-to-head, with a neutral and mutually-approved chair, between respective campaign figureheads Dennis Canavan and Alistair Darling, getting only abuse in response.

Of course, a bunch of evil cybernats such as ourselves might expect to be rebuffed. But what if the cuddly, respectable official Yes Scotland organisation had a go?

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100,000 green bottles 167

Posted on February 06, 2014 by

There’s a remarkable piece in today’s Scotsman that we had to share with you:

hadrian

And if you think that magnificent headline’s good, wait until you hear the rest.

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Coming to you live from 2019 139

Posted on February 06, 2014 by

Peter Arnott in The Global Dispatches, 29 January 2014:

“We have been tempted to believe in Scotland that our tactical pattern of voting one way in a Westminster elections and another in Holyrood elections would continue to shelter us from the worst neo-liberal excesses of Westminster – our parliament after all came into existence as a retroactive shelter from what was inflicted on us (and everyone else in non-Tory Britain) the last time the Conservatives were in power. 

We are still behaving as if this is the case even while history is whisking that carpet from underneath our feet.”

And that, readers, is why it matters that I live in England.

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Fear Factor Five 137

Posted on February 05, 2014 by

We do hope none of these shock troops get caught up and hurt in the lovebombing.

Scottish independence: Cable warns of VAT on food

Caroline Flint warns that independence would mean £875 on energy bills

Warning of risk to transport links after Yes vote

No camp in grocery price rise claims (NB unrelated to VAT)

RBS would move to London if Scotland breaks away

That’s all just today. Anyone sound frightened to you?

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    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “The big, bad English barsturts may have thieved our wind, but somewhere in Bonny Scotia tonight, oor very ain world’s…” Nov 9, 19:14
    • James on Vibecoding A Better World: “Aye, Dan; it’s one sad bastart of a bot. Quite an achievement, though, to be on the wrang side of…” Nov 9, 18:59
    • James on Vibecoding A Better World: “Who are you, exactly?” Nov 9, 16:16
    • Neil Waugh on Vibecoding A Better World: “Hey Rev Looks like you got a shout-out in the Herald today. Without getting a mention, of course. With her…” Nov 9, 16:03
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““understand that your population and its inevitable and longstanding ‘demographic manipulation’ and ‘perishing culture’ under colonial rule is a matter…” Nov 9, 14:00
    • Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: “Heh! Spot the luddite philistine eh – there’s me going on about “leather effect” watch straps and dials when OF…” Nov 9, 13:41
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Liking it, CC. What about a moby app, monitoring your speech and texts in real time? Analysing for key indications…” Nov 9, 13:24
    • Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Many Scots just need to look at the strangers hanging around their High Streets” ….and the need to better understand…” Nov 9, 13:16
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““discrediting just about everyone on Wings” Some on here seem unable to distinguish between Wings and Wings BTL. I feel…” Nov 9, 13:12
    • Spartan 117 on Vibecoding A Better World: “A bizarre statement from Alf. Many of us don’t need to look to the media, state or “culture” for intellectual…” Nov 9, 13:04
    • Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Jeezo, one day I’m the colonised, the next I’m the coloniser.” Maybe we could each wear a large “colonis-o-meter” dial…” Nov 9, 13:03
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “@ Aidan says: 9 November, 2026 at 11:05 am Excellent post. Many Scots just need to look at the strangers…” Nov 9, 12:51
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “““endless questions” posed by the colonizer” Jeezo, one day I’m the colonised, the next I’m the coloniser. Any chance of…” Nov 9, 12:41
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Prick and twat, eh, Dan? Sounds like you’re one confused individual. Nae wonder ye hae tae mak all yer ain…” Nov 9, 12:35
    • Spartan 117 on Vibecoding A Better World: “It’s often said these days that the difference between a conspiracy theory and truth is about 6 months; from what…” Nov 9, 11:56
    • Spartan 117 on Vibecoding A Better World: “Some of the above posts show a worrying detachment from reality and highlight the main problem with politics and academia…” Nov 9, 11:30
    • 100%Yes on Vibecoding A Better World: “We don’t have a government or a political party in Scotland working for the Scottish people, there either working for…” Nov 9, 11:27
    • Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “The way to address that uncertainty is to answer those questions cogently and effectively, not to come up with some…” Nov 9, 11:05
    • Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “The lack of wind in Scotland is of course part of a devious conspiracy. Westminster, and its army of brilliant…” Nov 9, 10:10
    • James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “The Credit pun i no doubt you cottoned on too, But thats the problem with digital banking, Anyone or even…” Nov 9, 09:51
    • Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: “Do you not feel you could help out here, Alf? All that endless hot air 24/7 – surely more than…” Nov 9, 09:46
    • Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: ““The problem is all inside your head,” he said to me. “The answer is easy if you take it logically.”…” Nov 9, 09:41
    • Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “There are always “endless questions” posed by the colonizer to create doubt and uncertainty in the minds of the colonized.…” Nov 9, 09:29
    • James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “Hatey, No it was not a meant to be a pun, but well spotted, in between discrediting just about everyone…” Nov 9, 09:28
    • Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “Hopefully one day soon Scots will no longer be made dependent on another people and country’s media and culture for…” Nov 9, 09:21
    • James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “Wether it is France, Germany, Ireland, Belgium, Netherlands, Canada, Scotland, America, Italy, England, Greece,Spain, or Wales, It might be the…” Nov 9, 09:20
    • Dan on Vibecoding A Better World: “Look at site prick Hatey enjoying the rare opportunity to post his shite when climatic conditions dictate there is insufficient…” Nov 9, 09:16
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “@James. Imagine if that happened here! We lead the world in grippiness when it comes to the bawbees in our…” Nov 9, 09:15
    • James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “The rest of the Countries in the world are very important, if those other Countries are not doing so well,…” Nov 9, 09:00
    • Hatey Mchateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Whoops! Insufficient wind today: https://www.theguardian.com/business/2026/nov/09/rare-call-more-electricity-supplies-windpower-drops-britain-energy-shortfall Thank The Lord we’re near the end of winter and renewable leccy conditions will shortly…” Nov 9, 08:41
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