The No campaign makes for some unlikely bedfellows.
We’d like you to meet our new favourite patriots.
‘BIG’ JOCK McCLUGGERTY (left)
“Ah’ll tell ye whit, Sir Jock – ah’m no’ wantin’ tae make foreigners oot o’ oor fellow Brits. It’s bad enough already huvin’ they bastart Irish here.”
SIR JOCK FINLAY-URQUHART-DUNCAN (right)
“Quite so, Jock. After all, if I wanted my children to be foreign I wouldn’t have made my au pair have all those abortions.”
Tune in for more proud-Scot laughs soon!
‘Big Jock’ William Boyne Windsor Shankill Loyal McCluggerty is an internationalist socialist, community leader and hereditary Labour voter who’s spent his entire life in the same council house in Larkhall.
Sir Jock Finlay-Urquhart-Duncan is a high-ranking civil servant and former army Captain who left the forces early after a hushed-up incident in Rhodesia in 1972 saw a native porter accidentally bayonet himself several times in the buttocks. Born in Kent but educated at Gordonstoun and St Andrews, he once stood as the Conservative candidate for East Renfrewshire, securing 19,000 votes but losing by 500 to the Labour candidate after a surprise late influx of 11,000 postal ballots.
They met when Big Jock was sent to paint the clubhouse of Sir Jock’s golf club in Newton Mearns as community service after some high spirits on an Orange walk at which several passers-by were brutally beaten, and discovered a common bond.