It’s been called the “me-too” election. The Scottish media is full of the widely-repeated wisdom that three of the four main parties contesting the imminent Holyrood poll (the other being the Tories, who nobody votes for in Scotland anyway) have triangulated (ie stolen each other’s policies) to such an extent that there’s almost nothing left to choose between them on ideology, and the election is now just a personality contest.
(Which is tough on at least two of the parties concerned, since their leaders in Scotland have no detectable personalities.)
Not least because I essentially don’t give a shit about the environment. (The result depicted in the image below is from Scottish Vote Compass, and my non-Scotch chums might find it interesting to take the test too.)
I do believe human activities are causing global warming, and that we’re rendering the planet incapable of sustaining human life at a terrifying rate – via greenhouse gases, pollution and overpopulation – to the point where mankind could in my view have well under 100 years left of anything recognisable as our current lifestyle. It’s just that I think that’s a good thing.
Pictured below: Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls and the leader of Labour's MSPs in the Scottish Parliament, Iain Gray, at a campaign event earlier this week.
"Interview body language experts agree that the less you move your arms and hands about the more confident and in control you are."
– On Using Body Language During Interviews
Non-Scottish readers probably don't know who this man is. You're missing out.
Readers of a spiritual or elderly bent may be aware of the parable of the Deck Of Cards. (You can listen to a splendidly reverby take of Wink Martindale’s definitive version by clicking this convenient link here.)
But you don’t have to go back to the 1950s for a similarly instructive metaphor for the contemporary age. Because the iOS game Coin Dozer serves, if you don’t want to carry around a bulky copy of Das Kapital, as a bible of the modern capitalist world. Shut up, it’s not bollocks.
If you're anything like me, you've probably been spending anything up to 0.2% of your spare time recently wondering how (or if) you're going to cast your vote in the AV referendum in a month's time. Because on the face of it, it looks like a lose-lose choice.
"If only there was some way we could improve this country's useless, broken mockery of democracy AND kick Nick Clegg's face off at the same time", is, if you're like me, what you've probably been thinking. But maybe there is.
Sorry updates have been a bit thin on the ground for the last few days, viewers – I've been insanely busy with about eight different things, and probably will be until Monday. One of them was reaching a milestone with the mighty Free-App Hero, which has now featured a frankly amazing 500 games since being released four months ago and written 150,000 words (roughly two novels' worth) about them. Yikes.
Astoundingly, that translates to somewhere in the region of £5 million saved by the app's users since it came out, and all without having to spend hundreds of tedious hours wading through thousands of godawful ad-strewn games written by escaped mental patients in order to find the good stuff.
Anyway, here are some pictures of weird stuff I saw in the park last week.
I was out and about today, and finally saw a 3DS in action for the first time. As billed, the 3D effect is absolutely gobsmacking, but even after just a few minutes I was finding it quite tiring on my eyes and I imagine the novelty will largely wear off after a couple of days, leaving you with a very pricey way to play Ridge Racer and Super Monkey Ball again. But not quite THIS pricey:
Viewers, a confluence like this comes around about once a decade. If it’s as sunny, warm and beautiful where you are as it is in Bath today, get out there and witness the phenomenon for yourself.
If it isn’t, don’t worry – you can do it indoors too.
The world moves alarmingly fast nowadays, doesn't it? But right now, at this particular moment in time and until something else shiny and exciting comes along (probably around lunchtime), this is the best game ever.
With a certain amount of irony, then, (and for no very good reason that I can immediately discern), it's called Forget-Me-Not.
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Not So Octopus: “Salmond bequeathed us a sparkling oasis. Sturgeon left us a foetid swamp. Swinney is key-holder of the toxic taphouse.” Apr 11, 10:27
James Che on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “These English registered politicians encouraging perversion sitting in Scotland would be outed if Scots recognised that they are not in…” Apr 11, 10:14
James Che on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The pedo nest preying like vultures on innocent humans are like an alien species, In day past politicians would have…” Apr 11, 10:00
Alf Baird on Not So Octopus: ““Why is the name in English and not Scots?” Alliance tae Leeberate Scotland Pairty. Thair, sortit!” Apr 11, 09:20
Andy Ellis on Not So Octopus: “@YL 2.04am Same old same old from you and the usual suspects then YL? No no actual ideas, no constructive…” Apr 11, 09:03
Aidan on Not So Octopus: “Why doesn’t Sarah start a fundraiser to have this abusive nut job “James” sent to North Rona for three months?…” Apr 11, 08:54
Iain More on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “On matters of belief – I dont belie the latest Opinion Poll giving the SNP 67 seats and the Greens…” Apr 11, 06:13
Young Lochinvar on Not So Octopus: “Why are the Unionists here so intolerably kiss-ass to the site host? Yeah yeah they’ll dissemble and talk boll0x but…” Apr 11, 02:04
Young Lochinvar on Not So Octopus: “Wilma Flintstone.. I.e. failed Reform candidate (yup folks- a failed Reform candidate 🙂 🙂 🙂 ) Yeah! I know, hilarious…” Apr 11, 00:51
Young Lochinvar on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Beggars “Your” Not “Our” Are you another Cotswold based Right wing paid spammer? Looks like it.. (Old boy)..” Apr 11, 00:37
Blunt Gaper on Not So Octopus: “Too long. With the implosion of Your Party concentrating the nutter vote firmly in Green hands Q Manivanman is my…” Apr 10, 20:44
Black Joan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Great work. Thank you. As someone has already pointed out, a “Charles” Rennie has crept into the text, when the…” Apr 10, 19:37
Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “What do we expect when the colony advertises and recruits for all its top jobs in the metropolitan capital of…” Apr 10, 19:11
Northcode on Not So Octopus: ““This song is brilliant lol” Brilliant, indeed. Professionally produced anti-Trump Persian propaganda. Clever rap rhetoric wrapped in visual rhetoric and…” Apr 10, 19:08
Northcode on Not So Octopus: ““The knives will no doubt be out for him cause the Union fears him.” Aye, Geri, there’s no doubt about…” Apr 10, 18:47
Insider on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “quote….. “A row has broken out over public funding of almost £2 million for LGBT Youth Scotland, a teenage gay…” Apr 10, 18:32
twathater on Not So Octopus: “Well said Young Lochinvar you are a seer who has described the beggar admirably” Apr 10, 18:24
Karen on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Well done again Stu! They force all the women out so the nonces (and their handmaidens) are all that’s left.…” Apr 10, 17:28
Cynicus on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““Do You Believe In ThelRev Stuart Campbell?” ====+ ChatGPT is having an AI hallucination -or HAD one. It identified our…” Apr 10, 16:28
Carol Sadler on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Hmmmm.Rminds me of that AI Jessica Foster influencer thingy.It’s got/had nearly 2 million followers who thought it was real.” Apr 10, 15:47
dawninnl on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Hi Rev, a gremlin has written Charles Rennie in the text, while the 2 quoted records say James Rennie. Please…” Apr 10, 15:47
James on Not So Octopus: “Jesus wept. Humpty & Dumpty out again. Distract, divert, derail. Rinse and repeat.” Apr 10, 15:39
peter on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I wondered if the original report of the appointment was dated 1st April. But no it was dated 20th March.” Apr 10, 15:23
Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The situation in Scotland now is like a rotting tooth. All you need to do is go to the dentist…” Apr 10, 15:16
Confused on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “It comes full circle – the nonces were using AI to create AI slop kiddie porn – now the nonces…” Apr 10, 14:45
Lorncal on Not So Octopus: “Geri: no, I didn’t say that. I said that we have to clear out all the DEI, HR, charity sectors…” Apr 10, 14:33