Alert WoSland viewers won't need telling that there's nothing this blog enjoys more than a hearty slice of metagaming, and there can be little rational disputing that the modern-day maestro of the form is cranky old code-grump Jeff Minter. The ruminant-loving curmudgeon has just released another retro-flavoured reference-rammed remake onto the App Store, and it's his best work yet.
iOS Gridrunner is the latest in a long line of remakes of Minter's veteran Centipede derivative, and it's a brilliant interpretation. A tiny (12MB) universal app offering both iPhone/iTouch and iPad versions for a single 69p payment, it's got the VIC-20 and C64 games thrown in as bonus freebies and it also supports the iCade. Frankly you'd have to be some manner of total spoon-faced klutz to pass it by.
It's an all-action blast, and while we wouldn't say the MOST fun you can have with it is spotting all the bits he's nicked from classic 80s coin-ops, it's certainly an entertaining diversion. We're bound to have missed loads, but below are all the ones we've spotted so far. See if you can find any that slipped our notice and we'll make a definitive list.
As a concept, digital distribution – particularly of videogames – is a wonderful thing. It should, and sometimes does, reduce prices dramatically by cutting out the need for physical manufacture, stock inventory, distribution and retail middleman. (Which in turn can also make niche genres economically viable.)
It can be, and usually is, much more convenient too – there's no need to mess around with noisy, slow-loading discs or worry about getting them scratched or losing them if all your content is right there on an instantly-accessible hard drive.
The only problem with digital is that it cedes control of your software library (and therefore all the money you've invested in it) to business, and business is evil.
Videogame critics are a slightly different breed of people to gamers. The latter, partly because of the investment they've made in a product, will often be prepared to overlook a number of flaws and focus on the balanced pros-versus-cons merits of a game. Critics tend to be less concerned with such earthly matters and much more perfectionist, because they're focused on the game's place in the pantheon of artistic posterity rather than its instant here-and-now worth. The ponces.
As such, they (or I should say, we) can often be a lot angrier at games that are nearly brilliant than those that are just plain mediocre. This week's case in point: VS Racing.
I’ve always believed that writers are there to serve their readers, not their subjects. But as I was bemoaning the last case in a cloud of gloom and shame-by-proxy last month, I had a bit of an epiphany, and it wasn’t a particularly cheering one. Because the truth of the matter is that readers are getting the videogames journalism (indeed, the journalism generally) that they deserve.
If there's one thing we all love here at WoSland, it's a good old-fashioned All-Time Top 100. And from a critic's standpoint, we've long thought the gold standard was the 1991 Your Sinclair chart for the ZX Spectrum. Not for its writing, or even (so much) the games themselves, but because the list showcased an incredible breadth of game types, such as we never thought we'd see again in mainstream commercial gaming.
That was until iOS arrived, of course. Now, for the first time in 20 years, it's once again possible to create a legitimate one-format Top 100 in which there are barely any two games in the same genre. And to prove it, that's just what we've done. But there's something even more special about this particular list.
There are two groups of videogamers in the UK (and perhaps the world) whose Venn diagram has a surprisingly small intersection. In Group A we have "People who own a Nintendo DS", and in Group B there's "People interested in buying a Nintendo 3DS".
In fairness, this may be because Group B is so small it'd be a tiny intersection even if it was entirely contained within Group B, but that's neither here nor there. In any event, because WoSland loves Nintendo so much, we're going to try to help increase it a bit.
We need a new word for videogames. The term was coined back in the 1970s to describe something that at the time was a completely new and revolutionary artform (it must be barely conceivable to today’s gamers that there was a time in living memory when such things as games played on a TV screen simply didn’t exist), and the image it conjured up was a straightforward one of Asteroids, Pac-Man and Space Invaders – that is, an abstract, magical, ultra-modern type of entertainment, born in technology and totally unrelated to any kind of leisure pursuit that had ever gone before it.
The very word “videogame” inherently depicted something that was exciting, glamorous and – because most games were located in arcades, places where under-18s weren’t allowed – slightly forbidden and dangerous too.
I was out and about today, and finally saw a 3DS in action for the first time. As billed, the 3D effect is absolutely gobsmacking, but even after just a few minutes I was finding it quite tiring on my eyes and I imagine the novelty will largely wear off after a couple of days, leaving you with a very pricey way to play Ridge Racer and Super Monkey Ball again. But not quite THIS pricey:
Viewers, a confluence like this comes around about once a decade. If it’s as sunny, warm and beautiful where you are as it is in Bath today, get out there and witness the phenomenon for yourself.
If it isn’t, don’t worry – you can do it indoors too.
The world moves alarmingly fast nowadays, doesn't it? But right now, at this particular moment in time and until something else shiny and exciting comes along (probably around lunchtime), this is the best game ever.
With a certain amount of irony, then, (and for no very good reason that I can immediately discern), it's called Forget-Me-Not.
agentx on The Long Walk To Freedom: ““It is not the role of the court to adjudicate on the arguments in the public domain on the meaning…” Dec 8, 17:44
Nae Need! on The Long Walk To Freedom: “One of Stu’s recent pieces, I’m sure, outlined a plan for tactical voting: vote Your Party. We’ll see nearer the…” Dec 8, 17:43
twathater on The Long Walk To Freedom: “Like GM , Benjamin I would like to thank you for your tenacity and doggedness in trying to get this…” Dec 8, 17:34
Hatey McHateface on The Long Walk To Freedom: ““a ‘digested’ form of another civilization that had once gatecrashed into” Scotland, where it remains still” Sure. There’s at least…” Dec 8, 17:31
Hatey McHateface on The Long Walk To Freedom: “2:46 pm on a Monday and James finally has baith socks on (on his feet, that is). Tired are you,…” Dec 8, 17:25
Nae Need! on The Long Walk To Freedom: “Spot on, Effigy. Stu, I marvel and wonder at your tenacity. I love it. We need you to continue to…” Dec 8, 17:12
Alf Baird on The Long Walk To Freedom: “‘The Initimate Enemy: Loss and Recovery of Self under Colonialism’ (Ashis Nandy) From which we might similarly consider, as Nandy…” Dec 8, 16:58
Northcode on The Long Walk To Freedom: “The cost of failure is nothing when compared with the cost to a people subjugated and seeking their freedom. This,…” Dec 8, 16:55
Marie on The Long Walk To Freedom: “Another spurious decision from a Scottish judge – Camp Zeist/not-proven nonsense all over again. Get rid of the Scottish legal…” Dec 8, 16:36
James on The Long Walk To Freedom: “More utter bollocks from the Site Prick, there. *Yawn*.” Dec 8, 14:46
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “Is there anybody there?” Dec 8, 14:14
James Cheyne on The Long Walk To Freedom: “Usually if you can’t get a direct answer from the office worker staff, then you go to boss of the…” Dec 8, 14:04
James Cheyne on The Long Walk To Freedom: “I often swither between their being a union between Scotland and England or aTreaty, If a treaty exists then the…” Dec 8, 13:36
agentx on The Long Walk To Freedom: “https://www.judiciary.uk/judgments/sandie-peggie-v-fife-health-board-and-another-judgment-and-summary/ Link to Sandie Peggie Tribunal decision.” Dec 8, 13:27
agentx on The Long Walk To Freedom: “Sandie Peggie has won part her employment tribunal against NHS Fife on harassment grounds. However, the claim made against transgender…” Dec 8, 13:24
Hatey McHateface on The Long Walk To Freedom: ““a fully genuine Scottish parliament it would have total control” Too true, James. Seemingly, as reputedly wanted by a clear…” Dec 8, 13:09
James Cheyne on The Long Walk To Freedom: “No such thing at the moment as a Scottish Government, only the governance of Scotland through the Scotland Act from…” Dec 8, 12:51
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Long Walk To Freedom: “ASH REGAN MSP – THE LEGACY OF ALEX SALMOND (Full Speech, Nov 2024) www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5NxegebVqI” Dec 8, 12:51
James Cheyne on The Long Walk To Freedom: “North code, It is obvious that some people think that Scotland has a real genuine down to earth Scottish parliament,…” Dec 8, 12:43
James Cheyne on The Long Walk To Freedom: “Political division speil of global planning, The pensioners being older already paid taxes in their life to ensure financial security…” Dec 8, 12:28
lothianlad on The Long Walk To Freedom: “They fear the truth!!! This is an SNP Scottish Government remember! Parcel of rogues in a nation!” Dec 8, 12:27
Hatey McHateface on The Long Walk To Freedom: ““aggressive Anglicised ways” of the culturally assimilated See what you just did there, Alf? You wrote Anglicised where you should…” Dec 8, 12:26
Hatey McHateface on The Long Walk To Freedom: ““for fear of my mocking your ignorance with some witty and scathing retort” Dinna fash, Northy. The fear is all…” Dec 8, 12:17
Mark Beggan on The Long Walk To Freedom: “Exodus (20:16) ‘You shall not bear false witnesses against your neighbour’” Dec 8, 11:14
Alf Baird on The Long Walk To Freedom: “Inevitably a colonized society is compelled “to make major compromises with outer forces of oppression” but in doing so a…” Dec 8, 10:22
Northcode on The Long Walk To Freedom: “It should hardly come as a surprise that a corrupt criminal enterprise operating in the guise of a legitimate democratic…” Dec 8, 09:58
Aidan on The Long Walk To Freedom: “OH NO James isn’t onboard with the strategy! I guess it’ll be another soiled ballot from you?” Dec 8, 08:34
Hatey McHateface on The Long Walk To Freedom: “So, factchecker, how are you getting on with your crash course in tribalism? Penny dropped yet? Ask James to explain…” Dec 8, 08:10
Hatey McHateface on The Long Walk To Freedom: “Maybe they’re all channeling their inner Trump. Why should they act on behalf of a people, nation, culture, etc that…” Dec 8, 08:04
Hatey McHateface on The Long Walk To Freedom: ““the weakest are just the start” Since when have pensioners been the weakest demographic? They’re far more likely than youngsters…” Dec 8, 07:59