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Nation speaking tunes unto nation

Posted on February 22, 2014 by

SATIRE:

masheurovision

REALITY:

maileurovision

At least, we THINK we’ve got those the right way round.

It’s not the Mash’s first amusing take on Scotland in Eurovision, but we’ve known for some time that the Mail is immune to the concept of irony, so it’s no great shock that it’s taking the most ludicrous stories that professional satirists could dream up and presenting them as actual news.

Following on from yesterday’s dire warnings that, er, house prices might not rocket quite as insanely as normal due to the independence debate and that we might be deprived of some speed cameras for a while (cancel the referendum now!), the Mail’s shock revelation joins a piece in today’s Times suggesting that there might be arguments over where some Titians jointly owned by the Scottish and English National Galleries should be displayed after a Yes vote as the No campaign scrabbles frantically around the bottom of its fear barrel for something – anything – that might reverse the current momentum of the polls.

As complete high-culture philistines, to be honest we couldn’t give a stuff where the Titians go (except that as Scotland contributed almost £20m to the purchase of the paintings, we’re pretty sure we’d be looking for our money back if the rUK wants to rip up the sharing agreement in a petulant fit). But while we’d love to see an independent Scotland’s entry in Eurovision, it’s a show that transcends such petty jingoistic concerns as who takes part or who wins.

We’re actually quite recent converts to Eurovision. Having previously always dismissed it as irredeemably naff, our fondness for it dates back to an accidental encounter with this piece of 2008 genius:

And the love was cemented forever in 2010 when Greece showed up with this:

Surely, though, the greatest year in living memory was 2011.

Firstly, the intro sequence. Normally this would be the previous year’s victor singing their winning song, but 2011’s German hosts took it in a slightly different direction with the storming, roof-raising big-band version below.

Can you imagine Graham Norton and Fearne Cotton tearing the place up like this, complete with decent comic timing and some pretty competent guitar-playing and drumming, and doing it all in a foreign language? GO ON, TRY.

We will literally fight anyone who says that’s anything but awesome.

In the contest proper, the Moldovan entry got all the phone votes from the house we watched the show in. Not for being “wacky” (Norton sneered at it tiresomely, as he does at anything that isn’t wet stereotypical pop fluff) but for being a cracking tune, in keeping with Eurovision tradition, and for appearing to actually enjoy themselves. Bonus points for the monocle, obv.

Near-neighbours Georgia, meanwhile, chose to go with a huge, juddering behemoth of emo-goth that (ill-advised Euro-rap section aside) you could entirely plausibly imagine Curve having penned back in the 90s. For some reason they chose to do this while apparently dressed as Xbox 360s.

If there were actual Fraggles in real life, they would undoubtedly be Jedward. The comical discrepancy between the cool, stylish Mad World-esque backdrop and the hyper-excited bouncing Sunny D casualties in front of it was the most striking aspect of the entry, but it’s unarguably a toe-twitching stadium stomper with splendidly nonsensical lyrics and all the nuanced subtlety of an 18-wheeler running over a hedgehog. (Their 2012 performance was almost as entertaining.)

The eventual winner, from Azerbaijan – but remember, Scotland is too wee and too poor to participate – was quite bland but polished Euro-pop that does grow on you a bit with repeated listens (while actually watching we were all baffled as the votes stacked up, because we couldn’t remember a thing about it). We also really liked the way they made it “rain” with the lights.

Speaking of effects, you can’t help but admire the sheer galactic scale of Eurovision nowadays. No longer held in some anonymous generic concert hall somewhere, it’s been transformed in the last few years into a frankly incredible spectacle.

Nobody tapped into that feeling quite like the Greek entrants (featuring Stereo Mike, no less), who came out with a stupendously thunderous neo-Aryan piece of Strength Through Mental that, had it gone on 20 seconds longer, would probably have resulted in the entire stadium upping and spontaneously invading Poland.

And even the UK’s effort, despite being from one of the limpest boy bands in history, sounded quite pleasingly like a slowed-down track from an early Ridge Racer:

But the point was, we didn’t give a toss who won. Eurovision is an extraordinary piece of mega-theatre combined with international political intrigue so crude and transparent that you’d have to be a dreadnought-class idiot to treat it like a war. Just like the World Cup, it’ll be great whether we’re in it or not. But also just like the World Cup, we WILL make it again one day, and the party will be all the better when we get there.

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    161 to “Nation speaking tunes unto nation”

    1. Helena Brown says:

      I thought I had got the scoop, Times today, Art will go in an Independent Scotland. Some where there is someone making this rubbish up, I do wish they would work out what will stay.

    2. Keef says:

      Rev surely Scotland will be keeping the art work and paying the English trust back what they paid into the deal?

      After all as the way things are going it looks like it’s them that are going to be short of a bob or two.

    3. Croompenstein says:

      What next! you can’t drive your cars because the DVLA is British and you Scots can just fuck off..unbelievable

    4. Helena Brown says:

      Made my day Croompenstein, we have just ordered another car which now will have a VED of £30, the old one we don’t pay. Hey you realise we may not be paying anything at all, win win.

    5. John says:

      We could get David Bowie as our first contestant. Too soon?

    6. Our Irish friends found it easy to win Eurovision but prohibitively expensive to mount it, that is, organising and paying for it, the “reward” for winning.

      Consequently, they enter their least … erm … how can I put it? … skilled singer-song writer for the contest.

    7. tartanfever says:

      Oi Rev,

      Lay off Sebastien Tellier, he’s brilliant.

      I defy anyone not to like this song.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30O92akDeJg

      Am I banned ?

    8. Flower of Scotland says:

      I love Eurovision ! NOT ! So good riddens ! What next ? I’m waiting ! This is such fun ,
      O/t Dateline London BBC ….an American , a European guy ,a women and a Scottish journalist ( didn’t know any of them , probably dragged in ) all making fun of us and ALEX SALMOND ! The American was especially scathing of his leadership , it would be good to find this programme and post it !
      The poll made me feel good now I’m mad again !!

    9. CalumCarr says:

      That’s it! They’ve got me!

      The pound? Let it go.

      Mortgage up £5000? Let it go

      EU? Let it go.

      Eurovision? Help! Got to have! Can’t do without this! Sorry but I have to change! I’m a No now!

      I have to hand it to Project Fear. They know what they are doing.

    10. AnneDon says:

      The Daily Mail has form on this.

      In the early years of The Word magazine, there was a joke that all of the issues had to mention The Beatles.

      The Daily Mail subsequently ran an article claiming: The Word magazine had to mention The Beatles in every issue!

      And we have already been to Eurovision

    11. Roboscot says:

      And on it goes, though it is a bit entertaining and makes it harder for the No campaign to be taken seriously with the more important stuff.

    12. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

      “Oi Rev,
      Lay off Sebastien Tellier, he’s brilliant.”

      Um, in what conceivable universe could you interpret “piece of genius” as an attack?

    13. heedtracker says:

      “We cant go, we cant go, England without your love” is now stuck in my head. Thank you Düsseldorf!

    14. boglestone says:

      I’m pretty sure all this “Art will go” stuff is an attempted swipe at National Collective. Playground bully behaviour that backfires every time. They’ve been really effective in galvanizing support in the Arts community and beyond. Obviously put the wind up the establishment.

    15. Breastplate says:

      Stefan Raab playing the guitar had a nightly show on German tv. I always found him and the Germans had an excellent sense of humour. Musically though I prefer a bit of Rammstein, Du hast in particular.

    16. patronsaintofcats says:

      We are now surely past the bottom of the barrel and through the rabbit hole that opened up under it.

    17. Jim Kennedy says:

      Will we get back the book of Deer and the Lewis chessmen?

    18. Mary Bruce says:

      For all its talk of international “clout,” when it comes to the rest of Europe, respect for the UK only really amounts to “Royaume Uni, nul points.”

      Anyway, great piece of writing, rev, really enjoyed it.

      And, to the guy on the previous thread who thinks that Wings is only for serious debate: I come here to hang out and enjoy the banter too, it’s exactly why this site is so important.

    19. Schiehallion! Schiehallion! says:

      Wings over Europe next?

      As for the Titians, putting them on display in a new cross-border art gallery would probably help give an uplift to the tourist economy down (or up) there.

      (The Germans were amazing, I have to admit, but painting is also fantastic.)

    20. Alan Gerrish says:

      And of course we’ll be getting the Lewis chessmen back – I mean to say, fair’s fair, isn’t it?

    21. benarmine says:

      Hey, you can play three or four at once and try to get the beats in synch! That’s the next hour sorted. Thanks Rev.

    22. CameronB says:

      I object in all sorts of ways to Eurovision, but an ex of mine was friends with the accordionist with these guys, who I think were close runners-up in the vote for the UK entry. So at least one of them was based in Edinburgh, if not them all.

      P. S. I think it is a bit rude. 😉

      Do Re Mi Featuring Kerry-Yodel in the canyon of love
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwLOEIk5_uM

    23. rab_the_doubter says:

      I wonder what part of the electorate the No Camp are trying to sway with this Eurovision nonsense. I have my suspicions so I’ll be talking to all my friends who ‘live an alternative lifestyle’

    24. Viking Girl says:

      Speaking of the Titians, weren’t they originally owned by a Duke or some other such title, who drove his people off the land in the Clearances? They were paid for in Highlander’s blood and we should keep the pictures in lieu of all the skills we lost when those folk went overseas: the ones that survived the journey,that is. As for Eurovision,the further overseas it stays, the better.

    25. James123 says:

      I firmly believe that Scots can make pop music so bad it’s good just as well as anyone.

      And now the results from Edinburgh:

      UK: Nil point
      Portugal: Nil Point
      Spain: Nil Point
      Catelonia: Douze points

    26. Murray McCallum says:

      Works of art with Scottish ownership being removed and taken away? Sounds like a fact-based plot from a blockbuster Hollywood movie.

    27. Effie Deans says:

      I know that you like to keep tabs on the media, so I thought you might be interested in some breaking news. It seems Aberdeenshire is about to declare independence. More here:

      http://effiedeans.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/a-doric-declaration-of-independence.html

    28. liz says:

      When all the stuff gets taken back we can start again.

      A couple of songs were posted on the other thread that I had never heard of- hip hop and the cundeez-skeem life.

      I’m sure that will be a lot more relevant to todays young folk than the eurovision.
      It was a bit like Eminem – who is hugely popular in Scotland.

      When the Titians go – Glasgow art school is amongst the best in the world.

      When the banks go – we can set up new fairer banks.

      When sainsburys go – we can have fresh produce, farmers markets – we have some of the world’s best food etc etc.

      Frankie Boyle can be our ambassador to England.

      In other words – they can all go to hell – we will still be here.

    29. Mealer says:

      Thanks,Stu.In its way,that’s one of your finest pieces.Brings a smile to the face whilst driving home the paucity of argument from the NO campaign.

    30. tartanfever says:

      Rev Stu says:
      ‘Um, in what conceivable universe could you interpret “piece of genius” as an attack?’

      Oh no Rev, now that we’ve let slip our secret admiration for Mr Tellier, I’m sure that the Daily Mail will be printing his undying love for all things UK and a plea for Scotland to stay.

      I just can’t take that kind of rejection. 😉

    31. Holebender says:

      Even the quickest of searches confirms that STV is already a full member of the EBU so the Mail’s story falls at the first hurdle.

      Nice try though.

    32. Futureproof says:

      On the Titian though. The two National Galleries simply entered into an agreement to split the cost of the work and then take turns to display it. It’s the most simple business arrangement possible and there is absolutely no reason for it to be affected by independence.

      Mr. Penny, who’s clearly had a tap on the shoulder from someone in the UK govt. states that a decision will need to be made. This simply isn’t true – museums and galleries routinely lend each other artworks at little or no cost, across international, even intercontinental, borders, so why would the Titian joint ownershiop arrangement suddenly become “difficult”?

      The National Gallery in London may decide they want to own the pieces outright, in which case they’ll have to decide how much they’re willing to offer to buy out NGS’s share (upwards of £30 million by now I think)and hope NGS agrees (and why on earth would they?), or they could “decide” to do nothing and continue to take their turn at displaying the works, thereby ensuring that the public of the rUK (who actually paid for it, alongside the taxpayers and lottery players of Scotland)have access to these artworks at no cost further to anyone.

      As ever with these spiteful scare stories, there’s a common sense approach which benefits (or in this case has no negative effect on) everyone, including the rest of the UK.

    33. proudscot says:

      Has Senor Barosso been consulted on whether he (acting as avatar for Cameron/Osborne) will block us from entry after independence? Perhaps even more importantly, what is tax exile Bowie’s opinion on this – voiced of course by his avatar Kate Moss?

    34. heedtracker says:

      @ Effie Deans, that vote NO doric-declaration-of-independence is hopeless. I’m fae the North East of Scotland and have fluent Doric and all that’s evident from your “translation” is, you dinnae quine. Divide and rule wont cut it now Effie.

    35. Gavin Greig says:

      You can’t mention the awesome of Eurovision (and especially the triumph of small countries) without mentioning Finland’s Lordi, and their winning entry from 2006:

    36. Juteman says:

      Please let us be banned. Please please please.

    37. Gavin Greig says:

    38. Siôn says:

      Rev – back in 1969 the Welsh language section of BBC Wales under, the guidance of the inspirational Head of Light Ents, Dr Meredydd Evans, applied for Wales to be included in the Eurovision.

      They were turned down by because Wales didn’t have an independent tv authority (an, I’m sure BBC centrally!). If Scotland becomes indy then, of course it would compete.

      In reaction to this disappointment, Meredydd Evans organised a ‘Song for Wales’ in Welsh with the winners competing at the Pan-Celtic Festival which is usually held at Kilarney (and where there is always a Scottish rep).

      The ‘Cân i Gymru’ (Song for Wales) is is screened every year around St David’s Day on S4C. Here’s this year’s finalists site: http://www.s4c.co.uk/canigymru/

      The last few years ‘Cân i Gymru’ or, #cig has trended on UK twitter.

      Of course, Meredydd Evans is a good nationalist, conscientious objector in the Second World War and authority on Welsh folk music http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meredydd_Evans – the kind of visionary man who wouldn’t take no for an answer and who always saw Wales (and Scotland) as a member of the community of nations.

      I have an article about this ‘micro history’ in my book, ‘The Phenomenon of Welshness or, how many aircraft carriers would an independent Wales have?’ http://www.carreg-gwalch.com/eaction/ecom.search/

      As an aside, for me, the Eurovision has lost a large part of its appeal since everyone seems to sing in English.

    39. Jimsie says:

      OK as we are in light hearted mood, here is a wee trivia quiz on the song contest.

      The 1970 contest was won by Ireland. Who was the singer and what was the song?.

      The UK entry finished second in 1970. Which Welsh singer sang and what was the song?

      No prizes here, sorry.

    40. TheGreatBaldo says:

      OT

      Prof Tom has got his crayons out again folks…..this week we are compared to Argentina…..

      http://www.thecommentator.com/article/4748/scots_to_world_so_we_re_irrational_get_used_to_it

    41. Gerrintaethem says:

      O/T and a bit off the wall ? Can’t keep this in … Don’t get me wrong I am no ( lonely ) cybernat and I hesitate to say this but this debate is , right now , better than sex.

    42. michael says:

      Israel is allowed to compete while committing crimes against humanity and breaking UN law everyday (also not even in Europe) but Scotland (checked a map defo part of Europe) is not?
      Gee Me Peace!

    43. “When you beat one of them [anti-liberty politicians] and they attack us we gather ten. When they attack us again we gather one thousand. When they attack us again, we gather ten thousand. That is our answer to them.”

      Ukrainian citizen – in faltering English.

    44. wingman 2020 says:

      OT Whats the difference between a Canon and a Reverend?

      http://www.scotsman.com/news/politics/top-stories/canon-kenyon-wright-will-back-independence-unless-pro-union-parties-give-more-clear-information-1-2603373

      Does anyone know what happened to this site below? It used to have an explanation of why the Attorney General blocked DEVO papers ‘In the public interest’

      It was a fairly comprehensive site, critical of the Establishment, that simply vanished. Did it get moved somewhere? People don’t delete huge amounts of this kind of work.
      http://web.archive.org/web/20110817100806/http://www.realmofscotland.com/

      Did Blair collude with the Tories against Strasbourg to try to block DEVO findings? Does anyone have any background on this?

    45. heedtracker says:

      @ TheGreatBaldo thanks for the link with this slice of bleh sticking out and all because of Scottish democracy next year too. So now YES voters are

      “They are essentially narcissistic in outlook, edgy and outspoken in the ways they advance their views. Alex Salmond is a composite of a very common national type. Talking heads who revel in being utopian and impractical dominate referendum discussions on all the main Scottish media outlets.

      I don’t think that bold and touchy-feeling Scots are now the outright majority but as long as the rest remain largely in a coma, it is likely they will be trampled underfoot. Anti-separatists in Scotland could easily suffer the fate of the Anglo-Irish in post-1922 Ireland: facing marginalization, they quickly left in droves.”

      Why does voting for PR democracy in Sept mean your essentially a narcissist. lol

      Tom Gallagher is Emeritus Professor of Politics at Bradford University, ah.

    46. HandandShrimp says:

      The Mail has become a parody of itself. The comments below are entertaining though. I think most people in England want the same ban imposed if we go independent (or even if we don’t go independent)

      The scare stories are hitting silliness levels that would do justice to a Marx Brothers film

    47. heedtracker says:

      Why does voting for PR democracy in Sept mean you’re essentially a narcissist, oops!

    48. G H Graham says:

      Having spoken with the staff at the gallery in Edinburgh, I was led to believe that once the Titians had been purchased from the Duke of Sutherland, they would remain in Scotland for about 4 years then be shipped to London for about 7 years & then returned. This cycle of sharing would continue ad infinitum unless the financial arrangement were to change.

      London just can’t keep them because Scotland became independent. A contract was written & agreed by at least two co-operating parties. Sure the contract can be changed by not unilaterally without penalty.

      My own view is that both Titians are oversized pieces of less than spectacular executions of classical art. I would have spent the money on acquiring more popular originals by Vettriano for example.

    49. wingman 2020 says:

      Did Blair raise the ‘rise of nationalism across Europe’ to try to block Strasbourg’s decision around devolution? What was said against Scotland at that time?

      Can anyone point me in the direction of some answers?

    50. Dennis Smith says:

      On the Titians, where’s the story? They are jointly owned by the National Gallery (London) and the Scottish National Gallery and there’s an agreement in place about showing them alternately in London and Edinburgh. Since London contributed more of the cost they spend longer in London (from memory, it’s something like a 60:40 split).

      Why should this sharing arrangement be affected by an amicable, fully legal ending of the union?

    51. John B says:

      @ Proudscot

      Apparently Baroso won’t be around by then. He’s retiring in the next 6 months, I think.

      As for Bowie, there was an interesting discussion on Radio Scotland this morning in which it was stated that pop figures who get involved in politics tend to come off badly. The Big Yin has said he not getting involved; others are keeping stumm.

      On the other hand, why not speak out if you are a pop figure? It shows that the debate is reaching the parts other political events have not reached.

    52. Jim T says:

      @benarmine 12:27

      As long as they recorded it all to a click track, that should be a dawdle. Of course, it assumes they all used the same time signature. 🙂 Never happen in a disintegrated Europe.

    53. wingman 2020 says:

      It would be such a shame if this resource was lost.

      Resource

    54. john king says:

      Er can we have an ahem in depth look a the Waitrose article,
      I’m er interested in the demographics,
      ye ken, like.

    55. john king says:

      “My own view is that both Titians are oversized pieces of less than spectacular executions of classical art. I would have spent the money on acquiring more popular originals by Vettriano for example.”

      Or a Daily Mash calender 🙂

    56. Stevie says:

      Occasionally a rather good tune appears on Eurovision – this Azerbaijan is a rather good one tbh. But it is the worst load of twaddle that the BritNats have always won before they’ve even participated – somewhat like England with that tedious formality of the World cup that always annoyingly gets in the way of the actual God-given-right to win the Cup in tablets of stone before they have even kicked a ball.

    57. Jack Sloan says:

      The repossession of art that Nicolas Penny has raised in the Times article might rest on whither the National Gallery in London is British or English. Penny, Director of the National Gallery, clearly believes the latter is the case. But the art collection was begun by the British Government in 1824 and it belongs to the public of the UK. Scotland has paid its share of creating the collection, maintaining the building and the art over the years and any post independence settlement would surely involve about 10% of the collection coming to Scotland?

    58. chicmac says:

      Breaking news!
      Gordon Brown: “No more Boom and Bang!”

      https://www.dropbox.com/s/66efxp1syz5fvx8/EUWindMap.jpg

      Signor Bozo obviously applies the time honoured voting principles of the ESC by supporting his neighbours.

    59. gordoz says:

      Take it this ‘Effie Deans’ is from a Nutter from No Scotland ?

    60. caz-m says:

      @Alexandra-M-

      You seem to have picked up quickly what the site is all about.

      Finding bits of information that will benefit the YES campaign and take us forward.

      Good hunting Alexandra.

    61. gerry parker says:

      Could we not even get a postal vote?

    62. John B says:

      Just listening to the repeat of ‘Any Questions’. “Would England be better off without Scotland?”
      A ‘stronger country’ together “because of finance and energy” says the Tory
      Polling evidence ‘clearly on the side of a No vote’

      “A disaster if Scotland broke away – threat of perpetual Conservative governments” says the Labourite.

      “There may be things other than money and energy involved. Perhaps they’d like to live in a country governed by people they vote for” says the Labourite, who has her bags packed and ready to move north should there be a ‘yes’ vote.

      Carmichael: “A nineteenth century answer to an twenty-first century question. BBC a beacon of impartial news.”

      Frank Field: “We all should have a say. We would find that England would vote for the Scots to leave and the Scots would vote to stay. Devolution has messed everything up. We need an English parliament. England has been too ‘giving’ (he means generous)in the constitutional issues.”

      Carmichael sounds rattled.

      The folk of Tiverton say overwhelmingly that England would be better off with Scotland staying – provided there’s an English parliament.

      Devo-Max all round?

      Carmichael sounded rattled – good news, I think?

    63. Tony Little says:

      @Jimsie

      My bet would be Dana – “All kinds of everything”?

      I will have to google the rest

    64. kininvie says:

      Eurovision is the greatest global festival of camp ever created. You either love it or you can’t abide it. I once worked with a guy who saved up all year, every year, to be there.

      And remember – we’ve already been the hosts: Edinburgh 1972, to be precise, where special effects consisted of a wind machine and a few lights.

      That was also the occasion which produced, for my old-fashioned money, one of the best winning songs:

    65. balgayboy says:

      How about this for an entry?

    66. gordoz says:

      Any reason why comments are disappearing fro the site ?

      Is it still under attack ?

      Seen a few go

    67. gordoz says:

      Sorry they’ve just appeared again ??

      Im lost

    68. TheGreatBaldo says:

      Scotland on Sunday have an ICM Poll tomorrow….

      https://twitter.com/KennyFarq/status/437218363384025088

      Now Better Together often boast/hint about in coming polls that are favourable to them before the embargo…..silence from the usual suspects tonight should be taken as a very good sign.

      Anyone know if the Sunday Herald has a poll?

    69. TheGreatBaldo says:

      gordoz

      Just type page refresh into the comments box and it goes away…

    70. kininvie says:

      @gordoz

      I don’t think anything actually disappears. I suspect that it depends which version of the cache your browser happens upon (I imagine it’s being updated fairly rapidly in the face of the DoS attack – but still)

      You can solve the issue by simply putting the Rev’s favoured formula of ‘refresh p@ge’ (with the ‘a’) into the comment box and posting.

    71. SquareHaggis says:

      I nominate the Cundees for Eurovision

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0-94s4NFBw

      BE WARNED – NOT FOR THE FEINT HEARTED

      Look awat now, and now, an mibbee now…

    72. chicmac says:

      kininvie
      That was one of my favourites, but I preferred the admittedly less slickly done Eres Tu from Spain the following year. Ah the 70’s, what did they call those things again? Oh yes – tunes.

    73. Dorothy Devine says:

      Gavin Greig , thanks for that .I couldn’t remember their name and now that I view them again I have to say I didn’t remember that they were that awful – which begs the question ” how awful were the rest?”

    74. gordoz says:

      – TheGreatBaldo
      – kininvie

      cheers guys

      A ‘curse on the house’ of those who are submitting WoS to CyberBrit attack. Sure they’ll get theirs at some point in the future.

    75. Taranaich says:

      @Rev: If there were actual Fraggles in real life, they would undoubtedly be Jedward.

      This is the first time I’ve found something you’ve written which actually offended me.

    76. Juteman says:

      Is anyone else having problems commenting on other pro-indy blogs?
      I’ve received error messages whilst trying to post a comment on Munguins and Batemans.

    77. patronsaintofcats says:

      Can I just say for the record this ddos attack is some bullsh*t 🙁

    78. Juan Pablo Del Roomigrant says:

      O/T Very interesting report from Venezuela.

      http://roarmag.org/2014/02/venezuela-protests-opposition-coup/

    79. handclapping says:

      Have I saved much more than £142.50 each year? Yes I’ve added years to my life.

      I know why they give you free TV after 75, its so you’ll die of the embarrassment of knowing people pay to watch BBC and/or the ESC
      ***
      I was on “tunes” when I posted something like the above and it ended up on “grenade”. Try again.

    80. caz-m says:

      O/T

      BBC Dateline London was an absolute cringe-fest this morning. With Gavin Esler and Ian martin doing their best to run Scotland into the ground. And the foreign guests just didn’t know anything about the Independence debate.

      As for Esler and Martin, no matter how many times they are told we are not joining the Euro it doesn’t seem to get through their thick skulls.

      Trotting out the pound scare and the Barroso scare. FFS who do they think is listening to them.

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b03x0n1w/Dateline_London_22_02_2014/

    81. caz-m says:

      Dateline Link starts 12 mins in..

    82. joe kane says:

      As well as adopting its initials, maybe Kezia Dugdale’s Daily Mail could also adopt the Daily Mash Arsehole Jamboree as the title of its resident columnists’ section?

    83. Ken MacColl says:

      Could we for starters
      1#claim back the Elgin marbles and return them to Greece?
      2# Return the Lewis chessmen to Lewis
      3#Only lend them the Stone of Destiny for a truly eye watering cash deposit if they need it for a Coronation service ?

    84. SquareHaggis says:

      “The spokesman added: “The first line of the council’s content filtering system is based on website categories. The Yes Scotland website was categorised under ‘society and culture’, which is blocked by default for pupils in schools.”

      Re earlier link, whit the fcuks that all about?

    85. Proud Cybernat says:

      O/T – apologies.

      IndyRef Debate in Glasgow

      Monday 24th March @ 7:00 pm – 9:30 pm

      Doors open at 19:15

      Start: 19:30

      Admission Free

      Venue: The Mitchell Theatre

      6 Granville Street, Glasgow, G3 7DR

      Yes Speakers

      Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh

      Patrick Harvie MSP

      Cat Boyd

      No Speakers

      Jackson Carlaw MSP

      Jackie Baillie MSP

      Willie Rennie MSP

      The Mitchell Theatre holds about 400. Admission on first-come-first-in basis.

    86. Flower of Scotland says:

      O/t
      @TheGreatBaldo…….I’m getting a wee bit annoyed , that Prof. Tom Gallagher , can call us horrible names in an article and get away with it !
      However someone say something bad about the Naws ,on a social media site , and all HELL breaks loose !
      Keep your nose out of our business Prof !

    87. HandandShrimp says:

      Yeeees!

      That was a nailbiter (rugby)

    88. Doug says:

      Unless they’re gonna come and try and lift my Queen, Pink Floyd and Who CDs, I don’t care what else they want to keep. Anything will be worth it to be on our own.

      OK, I’m off to count my groats now 🙂

    89. Juteman says:

      Brilliant, deserved result from Scotland. 🙂

    90. HandandShrimp says:

      Aye Doug I am just so fed up with the scare stories I would vote Yes even if it ignited the Sun into a supernova.

    91. heedtracker says:

      “BBC Dateline London was an absolute cringe-fest this morning” but they’re nothing compared whatever characters think they own the BBC in Scotland. Final whistle goes on Scotland Italy match right the noo and 30 seconds later they throw in a weird Chris Evans advert for some bbc essay competition straight after their live radio coverage. Have to hand it to them in Pacific Quay, they really really cringe over Scotland. https://500words.external.bbc.co.uk/opportunity/1
      BBC in Scotland, mad as hatters

    92. caz-m says:

      @Proud Cybernat

      That reminds me of a wee plug for YES Scotland meeting in the Gryffe High School Bridge of Weir on Wed night 27th Feb 7.30pm.

      Blair Jenkins and all the gang will be there. Should be a good night, so if you can make it along and show your support for Independence, then I’m sure it would be greatly appreciated.

      Link below for details.

      http://yesscotland.nationbuilder.com/flure1/public_meeting_gryffe_villages_and_langbank

    93. James Westland says:

      I love that top image – the Daily Mash one. You can even buy a T-shirt with Alistair Darlings face on it….. 🙂

    94. HandandShrimp says:

      Look

      I have to say that I am surprised that the vote was so large for neutral as our branches I know voted Yes. I don’t know of any specific branches that voted Neutral although the Scottish Government main might well have because they have to implement Government policy and that puts them in a difficult position if they are seen to also support it. Interesting that the big DWP and HMRC UK sites voted Yes though. The Nay Sayers seem to think that those sites are safe reservoirs of No votes. They are not, the UK Government is loathed.

    95. bookie from scotand says:

      Gavin Esler was born Glasgow,went to George Heriots,Edinburgh

      Im sure a saw a clip of him at Braveheart film opening,with family

    96. Clootie says:

      10minutes of my life I’ll never get back 🙁

    97. Seepy says:

      Great Rugby result for Scotland. Now to watch one part of the United Kingdom play another part of the United Kingdom plus another country who left the United Kingdom some time ago.

    98. Roboscot says:

      According to the screenshot, The Daily Mash seem to be selling a book called ‘Arsehole Jamboree’. Any connection?

    99. Early Ball says:

      o.t.

      Just filled in a survey for the Co-operative. I did it to complain about them sponsoring Labour MP’s who talk down Scotland. Bit tedious but if you fancy doing it be careful and read the wording of the political contributions questions. http://www.haveyoursay.coop

    100. Roboscot says:

      ‘Yes Speakers
      Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh
      Patrick Harvie MSP
      Cat Boyd

      No Speakers
      Jackson Carlaw MSP
      Jackie Baillie MSP
      Willie Rennie MSP’

      3 against 3. Not hosted by the BBC then.

    101. Linda's back says:

      O/T Hootsman reports that PCS Union votes to remain neutral after 24% supporting YES and 0% voting NO!

      http://archive.is/hkAPG

    102. caz-m says:

      @TheGreatBaldo

      The Last ICM poll results about four weeks ago were :-

      Yes- 37%
      No- 44%

      7% lead to NO.

      O/T

      I just had a nice wee uplifting thought.

      After the referendum victory on 18th Sept, Scotland will be a truly Free Independent Nation.

      England won’t.

      Just to give you wee extra spring in your step before you all hit the dance floor tonight.

    103. Oneironaut says:

      @Liz
      “Frankie Boyle can be our ambassador to England.”

      This MUST happen! Seriously! 🙂

      Can’t even remember the last time I watched Eurovision.
      I think the nearest I ever got to it was that Father Ted episode…

    104. Andy-B says:

      O/T Rev I do apologise.

      The chinless wonder of the Daily (drivel) Record, Torcuil Crichton, leads on page two of said gutter rag,in big bold letters, “We will quit Scotland if country votes yes”.

      The headline refers to the pensions company Standard Life, but if you read deeper into the fairytale, I mean story you’ll find Crichton uses words like “poised to leave” and “expected to express concern”.

      I can’t find this scaremongering story in the online version, though it maybe hidden, somewhere in the bowels, of the Daily Rectum.

    105. Juteman says:

      I have never had a sensible answer to this question.
      If god save the queen is the British national anthem, why is England allowed to use it at rugby and football?

    106. ewen says:

      Thanks for the zdob si zdub, rev. They have been on eurovision twice and should have won twice but usually it is some crap ballad that wins.

    107. Iain says:

      @Linda’s back
      ‘O/T Hootsman reports that PCS Union votes to remain neutral after 24% supporting YES and 0% voting NO!
      http://archive.is/hkAPG

      Tom Gordon spinning it as a victory for Bettertogether:

      Tom Gordon ?@ScottishPol 47 mins
      Bottom line on PCS vote: Yes Scotland will be choked not to get a big union on side. Better Together will be happy Yes didn’t win

      I’m pretty sure PCS is the only big union to actually have a members’ vote. ASLEF seems to have based its decision on delegates from all over UK. Their report on it reads like Unionist cliche handbook:

      “‘The preferred option of the SNP is the pound issued by the Bank of England and controlled by the Bank of England. There’s an indication in that name of who will be running the Scottish economy!’…
      ‘I want a United Kingdom that delivers for the working-class people of this country,’ he said, as he urged, ‘Let’s not put borders up, because borders divide people.’…
      ‘I think too many people got carried away watching Braveheart!’…
      Another delegate argued that the referendum should be UK-wide and not just include Scottish voters”

      http://tinyurl.com/m57hos5

    108. muttley79 says:

      O/T The Radical Independence Campaign have around 2 weeks to go for their fund raiser. They are over the £1000 mark and want to raise £3000.

    109. Erchie says:

      I know of at least one SG branch that voted neutral

    110. Erchie says:

      BetterTogether were appearing in their “United with Labour” guise

      Labour, who never did anything so democratic as to allow their members a vote before taking their stance

    111. jingly jangly says:

      O/T Isn’t is refreshing to see so many St Georges Flags out at Twickers, not a butchers apron in sight.

      They still have a way to go yet, a couple of years ago I was in the midlands (Walsall) on St Georges day, spend the evening in the pub saying happy St Georges Day, don’t think any of them knew it was the day of their patron saint.

      If this ICM poll shows a sizeable advance for us, I might be out celebrating myself, the silence from the No side is deafening and they normally have a couple of days notice so Im optimistic its good for us. Fingers crossed…

    112. SquareHaggis says:

      O/t if we cant hae the lottery by extention I guess by default, we won’t hae the EuroMillions either.

      P.S. that bagpiper on the main picture bears a striking resemblance to oor very own Taranaich.

    113. Andy-B says:

      Here the Newstatesmans asks what will happen to the 59 Scottish Westminster politicians after independence.

      Who cares.

      http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2014/02/what-happens-scottish-mps-if-scotland-votes-yes

    114. alexicon says:

      “The chinless wonder of the Daily (drivel) Record, Torcuil Crichton, leads on page two of said gutter rag,in big bold letters, “We will quit Scotland if country votes yes””

      Andy I posted something on Standard Life a couple of weeks back.
      I met a couple of guys in my local, one of them told me his mother works for standard life and that the workers had been told, unofficially, that Standard life would pull out of Scotland if we voted YES.
      An obvious tactic to blackmail people with their jobs.
      He also told me that the chairman(?)
      of Standard life was a Tory MP, that I haven’t been able to clarify.
      I know one things for sure I won’t go near any Standard life products from now on.

    115. Croompenstein says:

      @Juteman – because to them Britain is England and England is Britain, they need their own national anthem I’d love to see them use Ring a Ring a Roses we all fall down 🙂

    116. Bugger (the Panda) says:

      Clodagh Rogers was in the late 60s so my money is on

      Johnny Logan

      “Whats another year?”

    117. SquareHaggis says:

      @Andy-B

      Problem is what happens to those 59 seats in the event of a no vote.
      Apparently the unionists cant get WM to clarify this question which means it would leave a no vote Scotland without nepresentation at WM. For what it’s worth.

    118. Andy-B says:

      George Osborne, a chancellor who’s borrowing is out of control, but it is spun as cleaning up after Labour, these figures show just what a good set of financial hands, John Swinney has, compared to George Osborne. Another good reason to vote yes.

      http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/isabel-hardman/2014/02/todays-borrowing-figures-are-bad-for-the-tories-but-theyre-not-good-for-labour-either/

    119. Whiplash says:

      Georgia’ song is just awesome

    120. Training Day says:

      As (ahem) I predicted yesterday the Herald story about PCS backing Yes was a calculated lie, allowing the likes of Tom Gordon to present 0 percent support for No as a victory for BT. The paper will headline with ‘PCS shy away from backing Yes’.

      Some of us, it seems, still need to get our heads around how the ‘Scottish’ media works.

    121. Morag says:

      I agree with you. I thought at the time that was the intention. The trouble is, if you say so, you get accused of being a conspiracy theorist.

    122. Iain says:

      Re. the PCS vote, isn’t the guy or gal on the street just going to see the headline ‘No votes for No’? I know things can be spun, but if the figure were reversed e.g. no votes for Yes, 5775 votes for No and 18025 for neutrality, wouldn’t we all be feeling pretty deflated?

    123. Findlay Farquaharson says:

      must be people totally pissed off with this crap by now.

    124. jingly jangly says:

      According to the BBC news, the pope has appointed new cardinals from poorer countries , that would explain why England has got a Cardinal for the first time inand Scotland doesn’t get one this time!!!!!

    125. jingly jangly says:

      Oops that should read the pope has appointed new cardinals from poorer countries, that would explain why England has got one this time and Scotland hasn’t

    126. mr thms says:

      Posted on You Tube by BBC ENGLISH

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MvEMIYd1jw

      😀 😀 😀

    127. alec says:

      @Juteman – “If god save the queen is the British national anthem, why is England allowed to use it at rugby and football?”

      Because it’s their anthem, and they want to sing it. Scotland could also use it, if we wished, as it is our anthem too, technically, and indeed, it used to be played. From the 1970’s for rugby and (I think) around 1993 for football, it has been replaced by FoS by choice.

    128. alec says:

      Got to say, the DMail/DMash Eurovision gag is an absolute screamer. So many people in the press just don’t have the faintest idea of how utterly stupid they make themselves look.

    129. HandandShrimp says:

      I would imagine that Better Together are a bit unnerved that they didn’t win a single branch whatever spin they try to put on it. That is a lot of people that cast a vote and expressed their opinion. A hefty poll of young old, male, female. If they can’t scare Union members into coughing up at least the backing of one branch…they made their pitch with a representative at these meetings…then they are toiling.

    130. alexicon says:

      Richard Madely has been spouting off in the Express about nasy cybernats still giving him pelters for what he discribed as a light hearted show last year when he and others where discussing Scotland’s Independence.
      I call it an ignorant denigrating show.

    131. chicmac says:

      Latest, post Osborne, Scotpulse poll puts Yes and No neck and neck.

      Slight lead for Yes if stated leanings in the DKs are taken into account.

      https://www.dropbox.com/s/oy8wlz00qg9f6v7/Scotpulse%20Poll%20Feb%202014.JPG

    132. Morag says:

      Uh, that’s the subject of the previous article, chicmac!

    133. muttley79 says:

      @Training Day

      “As (ahem) I predicted yesterday the Herald story about PCS backing Yes was a calculated lie, allowing the likes of Tom Gordon to present 0 percent support for No as a victory for BT. The paper will headline with ‘PCS shy away from backing Yes’.

      Some of us, it seems, still need to get our heads around how the ‘Scottish’ media works.”

      Agreed. Just watched BBC Scotland news and they never mentioned the amount who voted no in the PCS. They mentioned that the union was expected to vote Yes. This has obviously been spun against us by those cheating liars at PQ, and the rest of the MSM. Seriously, if there is a No vote in the referendum, could the last remaining person in Scotland put out the lights.

    134. Edward says:

      alexicon
      Chairman of the board of directors of Standard Life is Gerry Grimstone
      http://www.standardlife.com/about/board.html

    135. Frazer Allan Whyte says:

      A bit off-topic but it’s time to show that not all the MSM gets it wrong or weird – The Guardian on-line today actually managed to publish a smidgeon of nation-belittling news that did not refer to Scotland!

      The new pope has apparently picked a new set of cardinals “… from some of the world’s smallest, most remote and poverty-wracked nations to help him run the Catholic Church.

      Alongside Archbishop Vincent Nichols, the leader of the church in England and Wales, those elevated will include … ”

      So you see, even that millibandophile rag is starting to get things right.

    136. ScotFree1320 says:

      @Andy-B
      @SquareHaggis

      Q. What will happen to Scotland’s 59 MPs after a Yes vote?
      A. Wee things that matter

    137. BuckieBraes says:

      @Findlay Farquharson
      ‘must be people totally pissed off with this crap by now.’

      Do you mean the Eurovision, or the DoS attack?

    138. Another Union Dividend says:

      More BBC bias by omission….. no mention that the No side got nae votes from the PCS delegates

    139. SquareHaggis says:

      @Scotfree1320

      Hi, the question I’m trying to find out the answer to is what will happen to Scotland’s 59 MPs after a No vote, can’t find anything on this.

    140. rab_the_doubter says:

      mrthms
      I wonder if anyone from BBC has demanded a google takedown of that video from this site?

    141. handclapping says:

      @SquareHaggis

      Westminster being paramount and unable to bind its successors you will have to ask the BT mob to clarify it for you. If the Cons get a clear majority in 2015 then they have already stated they want to reduce the number to 52 but given the passions stirred up by the West Lothian Question due to rUK actually noticing the referendum it could be less whoever wins.

    142. geeo says:

      Eurovision used to be a bit of pop trash fun,but is now merely a barometer of political frustration between nations.
      However i want Scotland to be in it, simply because someone told us we could not be.
      Maybe we could have a wee bet over who gets the most points, Scotland or rUk, the prize being the artworks under discussion here?
      Bring it on!!!!!!!

    143. The topic diverted to the threat of the Titians’ removal:

      Essentially Dr. Nicholas Penny is reminding our national gallery that his gallery in London got the “controlling” interest in the works because “his” country donated most money – a case of you’re not playing with our ball.

      I hope fellow Scots perceive how we’re treated for this is another example of how a dominant nation operates over its subservient neighbour; the colonial case always holds sway.

      John Leighton, our man at our national gallery in Edinburgh, won’t be pleased. Predicably he’ll stay silent if he hopes for “promotion” to London, his post here a mere stepping stone.

      Share of the Titians is a matter for negotiation again – both galleries have board of governors who have a say in the matter, not only gallery directors.

      What Scotland needs is a bill passed banning notable works of art (treasure) from sale older than (say) 100 years, whether in private or public collection. But that proposal is off-the-cuff and needs detailed categorisation.

    144. Appleby says:

      I’d imagine there’s almost no person in the world who wouldn’t be happy if this was their biggest worry in life. Daily Mash’s joke about something trivial becomes serious fodder for Better Together in the Daily Mail rag. They really need better writers.

    145. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

      “Eurovision used to be a bit of pop trash fun,but is now merely a barometer of political frustration between nations.”

      geeo: You’re new here, so in order not to find your posts regularly deleted please familiarise yourself with the comment rules, specifically the one about paragraph breaks.

    146. Appleby says:

      Bet you loved that particular one as an editor. 😉

    147. ScotFree1320 says:

      @SquareHaggis
      My mistake,I meant to post this link.

      Basically the researched opinion here is that the UK parliament becomes able only to carry out the orders of the newly sovereign parliaments, power no longer resides there. Effectively the MPs are on gardening leave.

      Hopefully the resumed rUK parliament will turn a blind eye to the lords too.

    148. ScotFree1320 says:

      SquareHaggis
      This link.

    149. Ian Brotherhood says:

      If ‘Whisky Kiss’ do Eurovision, we’ll win it.

      Nae danger. They just need some more lyrics, then it’s a ‘song’:

    150. geeo says:

      @rev
      I shall consider myself suitably chastised.

    151. chicmac says:

      @Morag

      Duh! Not been on WOS much today. I’ll gladly accept donkey’s ears like that though every day from now till Rday. 😳

    152. Jimsie says:

      Quiz answers. Dana, All kinds of everything. Mary Hopkin,Knock knock who”s there. Well done Tony Little.

    153. Don Macleod says:

      @Croompenstein Actually, you’re not too far off the mark with that comment since, I’m reliably informed, DVLA are currently winding down all their sub offices in Scotland and moving their operations to Swansea in anticipation for a yes vote.



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