Didn’t you spill my pint?
Ruth Davidson finally emerged today from a summer of hiding from press stories about her racist and sectarian councillors and MSPs to give a bizarre, nervy and gabbling interview to Good Morning Scotland.
Highlights included calling Show Racism The Red Card an “anti-Semitic” organisation and proposing the building of eight entire new towns in Scotland (the funding source and potential locations for this colossal undertaking were not specified), all filled with social housing which would nevertheless be for sale under Right To Buy.
(Which if it could somehow magically be done would of course lead to the homes being quickly sold at heavy discounts, leaving councils insufficient money to fund their replacements and creating another massive housing bubble and crisis.)
But our very favourite bit was when (at 2h 17m) she said this:
To be honest, readers, if we encountered a 30-sq-foot drunk waving a broken glass around in a pub, we’d just be looking for the door as fast as possible. But clearly Ruth Davidson frequents different sorts of bars to us.
So just for a bit of light-hearted Friday fun, we thought we’d ask: what WOULD you say to that person in that situation?
I would ask if he was one of the burly men at the polling station
Sir?
“Sorry, wrong bar, I’m off to find my 27 mates”
“What would you do if you were Prime Minister for a day?”
“Hey big yin; who ate all the ….?”
I would still give him a skwerr go.
Which constituency do you represent?
Depends on his third dimension.
More a case of nil by mouth, surely?
Same again Jackie?
“What WOULD you say to that person in that situation?”
Stephen Daisley, I presume?
I’d say “go home gran yer pished”
“Are you a tank in disguise?”
“You wouldn’t be Blair McDougall by any chance?”
Here mate ‘ You and ugly gonna dae wan and get oot ma face ‘ ?
“Do you know I’m a Tory councillor?”
Yer face is familiar big yin .. George Square, Sept 19th, wrapped in a dirty big butchers apron, doin’ thon big nazi salutes?
Aye, thought you were the boy who squared up tae the twa lassies.
Hard man I take it ?
“Goodnight.”
Have you got the right time please?
Ruth Davidson WAS That 30ft square drunken bloke in a bar.Ask the staff of Marlin’s Wynd bar in Edinburgh who witnessed her throwing a pot plant at the door & was made to clean it up after she was stopped from leaving. She’s the Donald Trump of Scotland
Would you like your refill with or without the umbrella?
No ma face, ah’m winchin’.
“Your a big man, but you’re out of condition. For me it’s a full time job”.
Michael Caine in Get Carter.
Then I’d straighten my tutu and walk away.
Sorry, got to be going now, it was nice meeting you.
“You’re”. Sorry.
I am the six foot tall, five foot wide guy in the bar, and I say to Ruth “Yer patter’s full of shite, love” before sinking my pint and finding a pub with fewer bloody Tories in it.
“That was your warning” – as he is carried screaming to the ambulance.
I would, however, call the hospital in the morning, to ask if his balls had gone back from his throat to where they should be.
This is called the rugby player’s approach.
Hello there can ye please tell me why I am in Ruth Davisons fantasy Bar???
“Why, Lord Foulkes. Imagine meeting you here.”
Awright Big Chap, how’z it gaun? Canny believe that Colonel Gadaftie’s tellin’ abdy yer maws Myra Hindley. Shit stirrin’ bastards gettin’ too big furr her boots, eh!
[squeals]
“Online.” “Now.”
Hiya pal, see those three guys in the corner , Douglas (Ross), Alastair (Majury) and Robert (Davies) they want tae buy ye a drink an hav a blether…
Seriously, according to the great leaderine, the errant councillors have apologised to everyone who was offended by their comments.
Maureen Bennisson, Stirling Councillor, asked the question via the National on Tuesday(?). Don’t think she’ll agree with that answer and I can categorically state that they have not apologised to me ( nor many others) and I was offended by their remarks, Ruth.
Mind you (t)Ruthless equates two Tory Councillors and one Tory MP with one SNP MSP. If you listen, she says its all fine because the three Tories have apologised and so has the one SNP MSP ( who was ‘attacking her online’) so that’s ok then.
Glad she acknowledges that one of ‘ours’ is worth three of ‘hers’.
I don’t think it was the bloke but the glass that is six feet tall and five feet wide – if she uses that for bevvy then it might explain some of her utterances, although being pissed is not mitigation…
“We’re looking for a new bouncer down the Ludge, you interested?”
I’d ask him for his Twitter handle.
Is this a Skull Island theme bar?
UPPP THE ROAD …UPPP THE ROAD
@ Brian Powell
If he’s six feet tall and five feet wide with no depth to him, he’s obviously a Tory poster boy.
It’s not him you have to worry about, it’s his wee mental mate standing just behind him.
The standard advice is;
“Don’t put anything in an email you wouldn’t want your granny to read.”
The Tory version; “Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t say to a bloke in the pub who’s half-cut with a broken glass, six foot tall and five foot wide.”
There is more than a subtle difference between these two pieces of advice on how to conduct yourself online or on what you put in an email. I’m no psychologist but personally I would steer well clear of anyone who even suggested the Tory version.
Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass – Anton Chekhov
“Are you a good WASP, mate? Let me sign you up”
‘Are you still celebrating the Indyref result?’
Shirley, she was only on GMS “fer the banter!”
I would ask him if his councillors had undertaken training to curb their racist and sectarian views before or after they were reinstated or has it yet to happen?
I’ll assume they have not had training yet.
I’ d follow up with a supplementary asking why did he tell the press and bbc that the training had taken place when it had not?
Is Ruth inferring all big guys in pubs in Scotland are inherently dangerous people and therefore having a conversation with them would lead to violence
Ruth may remember the comment she made at a Tory party bash in Inglind where she pointed out to great amusement amongst the Tories present that Scottish people were thieves as well and that’s why the venue hid the light bulbs
Miss Davidson seems against her preferred sexuality to be clearly attracted to burly violent men perhaps that’s why her affiliations to the men of the Orange Lodge hold such a special place for her
It’s OK in Scotland to be attracted to whomever you choose but there definitely seems to be a pattern emerging here
Are there to be more revelations from Miss Davidson on her ever deepening well of preferences, could the desire to wear military uniforms and hang out with rough tough soldiers have anything to do with her revelations about her passions
It would seem every time the opposition leader in Holyrood opens her mouth it’s not only her foot she would prefer to be put in it Hmmn?
“Hullo, Mr Taylor. Didn’t think BBC staff were allowed tae drink on duty.”
“who put that mirror there” heh
Ach, wir in the wrang bar, this anes fill of greedy grabbin tory shite.
or
get yersel away tae **** afore we pit ye oan u tube ya bunch o stupid lookin bastirts.
@Grouse Beater
a genuine laugh out loud at that!!
Stanley would have been proud at that!
TODAY. Tory Ruth Davidson’s Quote of the Day: “Of course we want our Prime Minister to stay in post and she’s got my full support.”
Cough.Cough.
It was you! with the butchers apron at the Dunfermline rally last Saturday.
Hi Barnie! Barman would you please get Mr Door a pint of whatever he fancies?
“Put away the glass and get your white hood, Farqhuar. Its time for the local conservative party meeting.”
So the big fella is yelling: “Ah wis told some bastirt in here has eyes oan ma burd, Gillian Anderson. Whoever it is, is gonnae get glassed. Who is it? Some’dy better tell me or you’re a’ gettin’ glassed!”
Me: “It wis her.”
RD: “Shit!”
Me – Have you done your chores?
Big Bloke – What chores?
Me – Pint of IPA, please.
Is that a tory politician on your back or are you just pleased to see me?
In response to this kind of bruiser I’d probably say ” awrite mate?”
Then return to my chilled Pinot
That’s what Tories understand isn’t it. Not decency or fair play or basic humanity, just violence.
In my experience it isn’t big men who throw their weight about.
Bridges all over the world are visual icons and symbols of achievement of the countries they’re in
Except Scotland apparently
At 2 hours 17 minutes? That must have been a realy rambling interview…
Ruth Davidson drinks to much. Melt down with the Tories.
A donation from a house builder?
The unionists built no affordable houses in Scotland. The unionists councils are cutting education, so there are no enough school places when new houses are being built.
“Hey big fella, RD wants you tae be her 3rd wheel…”
“Where ye going mate, leaving already” ?
6″ Tall: ✓
16 Stone 10 lb: ✓
Ex American Football Player: ✓
Half cut, waving a broken bottle: maybe later, ’tis Friday after all.
OMG, I’m Ruthie wet dream.
<shudders>
Bit ironic that Ruth uses a knackered stereotype to convey the threat of violence when it’s her party that is actually culling the elderly and disabled with their sadistic policies.
The more we get to see and hear Ruth, the clearer it becomes that she’s a nasty, mean-spirited thug who happens to be well-spoken.
I’m canvassing on behalf of the Scottish Conservative and Unionist party. Fancy a shag?
Ye ken yoor the spittin image o ma girlfreend!
At first I thought it all sounded a bit like the Begbie pub scene in Transpotting I.
Then on reflection it’s more like the dancing in Transpotting 2 ‘loyal Unionist’ private club!
Suppose we can guess what a lot of Scottish Tories use as a PIN number.
Ah must be pished tae end up in the Conservative Clubby .
Me? I’d say absolutely nothing. My policy in such situations is to say nothing and very, very swiftly hit the guy as hard as I can, preferably with the nearest heavy object.
Then I’d ask questions.
” half-cut with a broken glass”
Are you alright there Sir, can I help you find a plaster for that!
I spilled a guy’s pint once in a crowded pub, knocked with my leg while carrying a round back to my colleagues table. I immediately returned, asked him what it was and went and bought him another. Problem solved .
Ah killed yer big brother.
Davidson’s message to us seems to be give in to the bully. As I suspect most of these are Tory types anyway, it’s basically shut up and just do as we tell you.
Then a new plan, get the public to build houses to sell off cheap and hopefully she has created more Tory voters. It a simple plan explained by a Mr Portillo on TV.
Klatu Barada Niktu.
I see no comments allowed on the Herald article on Davidson’s brass neck on housing
Probably because the ‘journalist’ knows you can drive a whole procession of coach and horses through it
Slainte! (or cheers!)
This new housing ‘plan’ will no doubt be given a full outing on tonight’s yoonivision news, I wonder if it will receive the Lennon treatment of not mentioning what is happening currently, if they do they will probably conveniently forget to mention the SG.
The media has been in full mode this week looking for any angle to pronounce the new bridge a disaster, what other country has a media that likes to proclaim how useless the nation is. Even after a Sturgeon speech regarding business they needed to tag on a Tory declaring how rubbish Scotland is.
Oops, see you on Twitter, ya snowflake! Then run.
OT from a few years back.
I was in Night Club in Elgin with my latest “blonde” (a Doric FOS ) whilst ordering our drinks I overheard a wee commotion behind me , at first glance a rather big chap had his back to me. Now served I turned to face the goings on & at that exact moment the big fellar stepped to the side as this lady had decided to throw her drink at him…..whoosh right in ma coupon & soaked all down my front!
These things do happen ……usually to me.
In fairness the Stotter Ooters were on to it straight away and they were escorted out and I was checked as OK etc
Had it been the big guy , not a cheap would cross my lips …………..A&E here we go …….smiley fing
What ye drinkin neebs?
Ye dancin’?
Nah ah’m sweatin’.
Nae worries.
Her basic advice is to STFU in my case.
She does have a thing about physical intimidation does Ruth.
As you’re half-cut, would you like the full-cut?
Lovely to see untRuth has a real, genuine care for the poor people of Scotland, oh aye. Except her party have sold off the council housing stock right across the yookay, even chucking people out of their homes in London so they can hand the properties to their rich pals to knock them down and build posh flats, or to do up and sell at a massive profit.
How many affordable homes are her masters in London building in England, 5, 10? talking to a yoon other day who believes that the homeless crisis is the fault of the SNP, of course. Nothing to do with the lack of housing stock due to Labour building just 6 when at Holyrood, and nothing to do with her UK, London Tory masters’ austerity on steroids, foisted on the poorest and most vulnerable. Universal credit, you just have to look at that to see how easy it is to become homeless, whether you are jobless, disabled, sick, it doesn’t matter to Tory Ruth, she doesn’t care.
So, a wee distration from the fact that Scotland has a brand new bridge and the fact that the SNPGov are actually building affordable homes by the 1000s. As well as having a ‘help to buy’ scheme, for fist time buyers.
The SNP have so much to put right and mitigate Tory, and Labour sanctioned cuts. The britnats hate that, which is a disgrace as they would rather see Scotland ruined, destitute and a basket case in the eyes of the world. Utterly despicable of Davidson to attempt once again to overshadow the work that the Scottish government are doing, by making up stories about building houses that will never be built by her party, and she knows it!
Colonel Davidson I presume?
Politely enquire… “Who the fuck are you?” then bolt for the door.
link to youtube.com (18 Cert)
Hey Petra, the ‘list’ from the last article is a good list. That was a list of some of the Wingers from one of our previous socials
At such a sight, I’d return to reading my left behind copy of The Spectator, and to this article, featured by Stu on twitter, : “Theresa May’s great comeback is now underway” by Isabel Hardman (love the name).
link to spectator.co.uk
“Calling an early election weakened her party and destroyed her authority. Can the PM get Tory MPs back on side?”
When Colonial Masters move the perimeter fence, the natives always take note.
“Good evening. I hear Ruth Davidson is hiring big, burly blokes to hang around polling stations. Here’s her card.”
Good afternoon Mr McDougal
Just to add something positive
link to scottishfinancialnews.com
‘Ohhhh, f……………..’
as I ran away
@Muscleguy
I was having a pint at the bar in a rough pub south-side as is my wont at times, knocked over a guy’s pint, barman looked over “A pint for my pal”, everyone laughed, great couple of hours.
Two spring too mind.
“Ye’ve got the wrong night pal. Diversity class is the morn’s night.”
or
“Is that a spanner ye huv in yer pocket Brian or ur ye jist glad tae see me?”
“Have you ever thought about letting the Lord Jesus Christ, our Saviour into your life?”
“No, me neither. He’d probably be appalled at the low standards and debauchery in my life and try and making me pure and honest”
“Watch yourself with that bottle. I’m a first aider. You’d be amazed at how much blood can come out of a flesh wound …”
Anything said is bound to be misconstrued as an insult so the best course is to say nothing.
Is Ruth saying the interwebs should just be shut up?
“Why the hell shouldn’t we be an independent country? Nyah feartie!”
“When does Happy Hour start?”
I say, are you Brutish?
“what WOULD you say to that person in that situation?
‘I am engaged to a Catholic Irishwoman from county Wexford who was educated by nuns.
Gonnae no dae that.
Perception is everything in politics.
link to politics.co.uk. Ian Dunt.
“One of the core Brexit arguments was that outside of the EU we could negotiate our own trade deals. We wouldn’t have to sit with 27 other nations anymore, trying to construct a uniform trade policy between such disparate economies. We wouldn’t have to be hobbled by the political need to protect things like oranges, which we don’t care about, and could focus on things like financial services, which we do. Britain would be unleashed, a roaming imperial tiger on the global stage.
So it’s worth taking the example of Japan as a test case for how this mission is going. Theresa May arrived in the country yesterday, trying to put a brave face on it. To be fair she’s been trying to put a brave face on all manner of things for several months now. If anyone’s an expert at pulling a brave face, it’s her. But no matter how much practice she’s had, the trip looks dreadful and embarrassing. Before she’d even arrived, Japanese officials informed journalists that a trade deal with the UK would take a back seat to one with the EU.”
bruiser- if ye can guess the weight o’ this glass in ma haun, i’ll let ye shag ma erse!
ruthie- um, er, 10 tons !
bruiser- close enough
Hello petal – aren’t you the big boy then.
“Hey mate, that Ruth Davidson just called you a big fat drunken bastirt”
What to say ….
You’ll sit in the east?
Are you in the orange lodge by any chance? Fancy standing as a Tory councillor?
‘Nice ink big man; is that a big white horse’s arse sticking oot the back o’ yer t-shirt?’
Eight new Cumbernaulds – I just can’t wait.
Sir, your shoulders appear to be broader than the UK’s.
I seriously question this woman’s right to represent the Scottish public.
Doubtless a non exec post with one of the Big House Builders awaits when she is elevated to the House of Lards.
Our obliging Dead Tree Scrolls and BBC Propa Quay have taken up this Tory Social Housing nonsense big time of course.
Ruth Davidson and her hellish crew are hell bent on destroying Scottish Civic Society.
Yet this tossery is touted about the MSM this morning?
Hacks, have you all gone stark staring mad?
We all are laughing our heads off at your work, ye Dead Tree Scrollers.
To be laughed at and ridiculed? Has it come to this, just for British Nationalist Union lucre.
Lets all laugh at the hacks, let’s all laugh at the hacks, na na na na…
Hi, I’m Begbie, who the f*ck do you think you are?
Hey, Fatso. Huv ye read “The Body Image Workbook” – an eight-step program fur learnin’ tae like yer looks – by Thomas F. Cash?
What a truly horrible individual she is. What would I say? Bugger all, I’d leg it.
Hey, you.
Could you walk 500 miles?
And could you walk 500 more,
just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at my door?
“I saw who broke your glass, mate. It’s that wee idiot over there dancing with the bottle in hand. I’ll haud yer jaikit”
New land to made made available in Aberdeen for Miss Davidsons housing project is to be called Orange County
She can have all her voters in one new town and she wont even have to canvass
Only burly families with cash welcome (and of course the right kind of people wink wink)
if you were 12 inches wider you’d be square
Ruthie’s got a job for you.
I’d say, er.. the Tory branch office is that way.
Or I’d say to him, have ever thought of becoming the Labour branch manager in Scotland, you’re a definite shoe-in.
When he says, “That’s ma burd!” I retort, “Serves ye right!”
Just a Boys Game with Frankie Miller.
Derren Brown's advice when confronted by an aggressive drunk is distraction, so cheerily start talking about the wallpaper or something as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
But surely even I could outrun a 5ft wide drunk. They wouldn't be able to fit through the doors for starters.
Depending on the blokes ethnicity you could go with
You’ll no’ be yes yet, surely?
or
Calm down Bob, its not rocket science, the country formerly known as England gets to fish off the Berwickshire coast, the country formerly known as Scotland gets half of Cumbria and all of the Falklands.
Needed a laugh.
Got dozens.Cheers all.
As an aside, it’s a pity she doesn’t extend her faux civility to her own Parliamentary behaviour.
Would the disingenuous wee hypocrite dare to shout’Sit Down’,’Sit Down’ at the hypothetical brick shithouse she alludes to.
I think not.
Eh why would you want to say anything , just push Ruth the mooth in front she will sort him out, big lumps are usually not very quick on their feet so just make sure you have a choice of exits, or he will choose one for you, usually the preferred one is the nearest Window.
Apart from that Ruthie comes out of hiding to be assisted by our media, no inconvenient questions, just a platform for the representative of one quarter of the country to give us the benefit of her esteemed wisdom , so much access available to so few makes you wonder if our media are maybe a little bit biased, they wouldn’t be that obvious would they ? .
And so the daily drip drip of pish continues by our neutral media, they don’t give up do they . If I had to push crap every day the novelty would soon wear off it must be soul destroying. Poor Souls.
Ye ken how they papers keep saying am intae thon kick boxing? Well thair talking pure pish so they ur.
“Don’t say anything online you wouldn’t say to a bloke in the pub who’s half-cut with a broken glass, six foot tall and five foot wide.”
That would be absolutely nothing at all then. That would be a whispered ‘let’s find another bar’.
That’s Ruth silencing anyone on social media, effectively.
New outfit Ruth?
Wonder if she’s told the folk in Dunblane they’re getting a new town full of council houses
“I’d like you to introduce you to somedy: Eric Joyce”.
He’s got a website: ericjoyce.co.uk but fromnotoyes.scot also works.
He’s ex-army and has a (past) reputation of gubbing Tory politicians.
Aye don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t say to a Burly Man.
But a wee nationalist nyff with a speech impediment or a small Gypsy or anybody who disagrees with below the line comments in the Mail… Don’t hold back!
Showing na age. Can yer mither sew.
Ruth Davidson of the ‘bigot racist sectarian homophobic Tory party’, needs a wee history lesson on ‘right to buy’. When HER party in Government introduced ‘right to buy’ for council built houses, it also stipulated that the funds obtained by councils from the sales could NOT go towards building NEW council homes.
It is that freaking simple. That is why we have record homelessness. That is why young people cannot buy a house. This is partly why private houses cost so much.
In huge swathes of London, where their was once council housing, they have ALL gone into private hands – mainly landlords, who incidentally have made an absolute killing. Kings cross, Lewisham, Chelsea and Kensington (where Grenfell tower was amongst the small amount of council housing) are all the same.
It was the Tories. Nobody else. The same party Ruth Davidson represents.
Thankfully the SNP Scottish Government have put an end to ‘right to buy’ – something the Labour Government in London AND Scotland failed to do.
The fact is, ALL those council houses that were sold off for tiny sums, were paid for by taxpayers over decades.
So from what she said on the propagandist BBC earlier today, Ruth either was (a) unaware that this was the case, or (b) was lying.
Either way, she looks foolish.
“Fraternal greetings, comrade! Is this where the Socialist Poetry Slam is being held?”
Hey Big Yin,
Yer nae oil painting, … no even a watercolour.
Jist the same, d’ye fancy a dance ?
“Hi Dad”
Someone as smug as Davidson always has a dark side, we’ve seen glimpses thus far so much more to come.
The Brit press core & media just love her cause she’s got that forelock tugging upstairs downstairs servitude style to her and the rugger type ‘look at me’ guffaw.
The rest of us in the real world see her for what she is, an establishment Tory through & through, with little substance or redeeming features as a result.
I must say I find her completely irritating (same goes for everything else produced by the BBC)
“You are Pub Spy and I claim my £5.”
Vambomarbeleye: 2Pick yur windea, yur leavin'” another blast from the past.
‘Frank Begbie’s my best mate, and he’s right behind you.’
(scarpers when brick shithouse is distracted)
In the event of fleeing not being an option, my perennial advice is; eyes, throat, solar plexus, baws, bite.
No right to buy in Scotland now
Yob:
“Didn’t you spill my pint?”
Me:
“Sorry pal, let me get you another pint and a wee chaser on me… in fact, yer aweright pal an if yer up furrit, I challenge ye tae a whisky drink-off… ye game?”
One dram later, the yob’s on the floor.
YoB – Yoon of Britain
Aye, heard urr. Whit diz Colonel Davidson, need haunnurrs furr? Asps wae foarkt-togues, slither awaw.
Iz thae twintae-five thoosin hooses, furr awe yoan trevullurrs?
“I’m your father Luke”
I’d say nothing, I’d just watch him standing there with the broken glass in his hand. He has said nothing to me so I have nothing to say to him.
You never know in which direction a situation might go until it happens.
“Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please.”
link to youtube.com
P.S. How much is 2 pints of lager and a packet of crisps, since Brexit??
Is this the queue for the Dylan tickets?
Just to clarify…
There be unionists & yoons, two different species.
A bit like dance & techno.
A bit like rock & death metal.
Being honest here, 6 ft tall and 5 ft wide is just a fat guy.
Why would you fear that anyway ?
Being such a size does not make them tough, physically imposing and intimidating to some, but not neccessarily tough.
Years ago, i remember this wee guy knocked this massive guys pint over in a pub in Falkirk, wee guy about 5ft 4 and big guy about 6ft 6.
Big guy shoves wee guy on his arse screaming at him “am gonna fn kill you”.
Wee fella JUMPS as high as he could and punches the guy square on the nose, which just exploded in a mess of blood.
Mr 6ft 6 wipes his face, sees the blood and FAINTS…nearly crushing his pal, who he landed on…!!
It was one of the funniest things i ever saw on a night out..the whole pub just erupted with laughter.
Moral of story, big does not equal tough.
Get yourself a green baize suit with six pockets, there’s a job for you at the Sheffield Crucible if you have the balls for it.
@Robert Louis
Aye it’s terrible that private landlords have been able to snap up ex-council houses.
Houses built at public expense to provide cheap,affordable housing. Now being sold or rented out for profit by those who do it for business, so these houses are not affordable to those for whom Council houses were built. The private rents are usually considerably more expensive than Council house rents.
I’m referring to the principle, not anyone in particular, so it’s not a dig at any ex-SNP MPs.
Any mair of yer snash and I’ll tell mad Wullie Rennie.
He’ll set aboot ye.
New towns needed built with social housing.
Ok Morningside- full of auld buildings
Bearsden, A new Newton of Mearns.
How about an under-occupancy levy which is waived if the tories keep and immigrant or two. Can almost hear them greetin the noo.
Davidson want say no tae that
Ruthie thinks she’s going to be Scotland’s next FM. For the love…
From the Hootsman:-
“In a speech in Edinburgh, Ms Davidson said it was time to move on from arguments over independence and focus on the “intellectual heavy-lifting” required to develop policy.”
She really has been spending too much time in the pub.
“Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t say to a bloke in the pub who’s half-cut with a broken glass, six foot tall and five foot wide.”
That’s certainly my online btl rule numero uno.
Hoy, Ruthie get aff them stilts.
Iain @ 1.39
Presumably you mean that ye canny wait fur eight new Cumbernauld’s…… because that will be eight new massively yes voting town’s…..Aye!
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Its a good question. So they can nick you for a licence, down the old IP address presumably.
So you can listen good old tory beeb FM radio for free but not online. Beeb gimps slipped that one in quietly.
RD: “Can I buy your jacket mister. Mines is getting helluva hard to button.”
Ruth Davidson’s problem is she is 5 foot tall and 6 feet wide
I once rode a Buffalo that was smaller than you:
Geeo , funniest one I have seen was in the Lismore Bar early one evening, Big Tam the City Lights actor had been partaking of a few Beveridges all afternoon, this guy from Liverpool had been trying to wind folk up for hours, he had chased several folk away who were just out for a quite pint. Running short of victims He started on Big Tam, I thought to myself he is going to regret this, Big Tam took the abuse for about 15 minutes, never said a word back then stood up and said to him “I’m going to knock you out” followed almost immediately by a very large fist in the Scousers face, down he went like a sack of tattles, everybody was falling about laughing at how surreal it was. As an aside, Big Tam was in the papers A couple of days later , as he had missed a court appearance on the day he was in the Lismore , his lawyer claimed he was receiving cancer treatment all day , sadly he succumbed to the illness several months later.
My vote goes to James Sneddon @10:55AM for his answer.
Seriously, this kind of relaxed language is all about Ruthie’s image. She’s not like the rest of those land-grabbing, money-grubbing tories, she’s different. She’s normal like you and me. She enjoys a guid swallie like you and me. She gies a toss when a’ they furriners tak oor joabs. She’s no pan-loafy like yon Goldie wumin.
Slightly o/t – With David Davis in the USA & Mayhem and Fox in Japan , Things ain’t looking good for a settlement and successful outcome to talks with the EU , They are presently working on excuses, and not how to progress the negotiations, this might happen quickly so I hope that the next move by the SNP has taken this into account, Mayhem might just make a move just like the last snap election, I hope they are prepared . With this bamy nutter anything goes .
Herald comment:
The issue there, is that the manifesto pledge was crystal clear: a referendum if Scotland is dragged out the EU, I repeat EU, against Scotland’s will.
EFTA or Single Market is NOT the EU.
The SNP had no democratic mandate to try to negotiate away EU membership and the promised referendum in return for Single Market membership.
The SNP themselves said Scotland voted Remain and the people are sovereign, so that that democratic vote should be respected.
The SNP bartering away their election pledges and Scotland’s sovereign democratic decision to Remain ( in the EU) is unacceptable.
By doing that and still failing to secure Single Market membership, makes the SNP look not only undemocratic, but weak and foolish.
It has cast major doubts on the SNP’s commitment to independence or even Scottish parliamentary sovereignty.
If the SNP want to rectify the situation, they should announce a referendum on Scottish Parliamentary sovereignty.
Asking if Holyrood should be the supreme parliament for Scotland, not subservient to Westminster.
It would end subservient devolution and the worthless Sewel Convention – but would not end the UK.
It would make Holyrood a real parliament. It would make the Scottish Government a real government, instead of administrators for Westminster Govt.
It would empower the Scottish Parliament to decide if Scotland should remain in the EU or EFTA / Single Market.
It would also empower the Scottish Parliament to vote for independence or to remain in the Union, so the people would choose by voting for Unionist or Independist manifestos.
Holyrood restarting shortly so we can expect Zoomer crap like this on a daily basis for the BBC and STV to invent their new strategies and opinions for the coming political season
It’s an awfy arrogance on the part of the media to assume that Scotland desires their opinions more than to decide things for themselves, still I suppose they have to guide the hard of understanding towards the paths of righteousness for Ruths sake
Well, she makes a pigs Arse o it on her own
Archive link to the leak that the BBC is planning to include online media in its ‘paper’ reviews.
link to archive.is
Will this apply to BBC Scotland?
Will they include Wings?
Will UKaye Adams explode?
@bugsbunny
You should be banned for that disgusting comment.
@heedtracker says: 1 September, 2017 at 5:17 pm:
“So you can listen good old tory beeb FM radio for free but not online. Beeb gimps slipped that one in quietly.”
Perhaps not heedtracker, but if you have a smart TV, you can listen to all the DAB radio stations, including the BBC, on the TV frequencies and, what is more, you can use the BBC text services on those BBC Radio Channels. Technically you are not watching live TV broadcasts – just live Radio Broadcasts.
@yesindyref2
I agree.
Canny make oot if it’s the guy or the glass that’s 6ftx5ft either way – “ur ye dancin’?”
“social housing which would nevertheless be for sale under Right To Buy..” She must think we all button up the back!
Ootside!!
All hail the return of our British National leader (north Britain branch)as she decides to talk to the msm again after her self imposed exile..
I wonder if she will get any airtime?!
To large drunk:
Would you recommend the Sauvignon blanc or Pinot?
Oi! Big Man! Delete your account!!
link to peterreynolds.wordpress.com
Kin you’s feel the love emanating from that letter Tick Tock .
Your round wee man?
You don’t sweat much for a fat lad.
@ronnie Anderson 6.29
I see someone left a wee message about self determination.
Wonder who that could have been lol!
Mike.
@ Stu
At six feet tall and five foot wide, “rectangular” surely?
Just read a Daily Express in the barbers and discovered where the sun went this summer.Apparently the Express thinks it shines out of Ruth Davidson’s rear end. They wax lyrical about her inventive housing policy and wish Nicola could have the foresight of Ruth. Most sane people in Scotland however know the housing problem was aggravated by a Tory PM called Maggie Thatcher.
The Express left me feeling contaminated.Yeugh!
@Alex
Thanks for backing me up, it’s gone by 18.40 a the latest – rev on the job.
OT
See the bridge well covered on the One Show – must have been complaints to the BBC about their poor coverage.
I’d probably just talk to him about general stuff and he’d put the broken glass down, we’d put the world to rights between us, that sort of thing. Then after a bit of banter I’d bid him farewell. As I walk away I hear him saying to someone that his favourite colour is red, which is not my favourite colour. So I smash my glass on the floor to get everyone’s attention, then shout “DON’T FEED THE TROLLS.” And gie him the evil eye.
To be a nice day tomorrow.
Jump on the train from Ardrossan with the grand-weans for the Viking Festival. Wave a few saltires at the parade and have a day out to remember all those unknown men and women who fought for Scotland’s freedom all so long ago. Little did they know that another enemy further south wanted Scotland within 30 years.
Never mind, will get a wee fish supper and and Ice cream.
Pity North Ayrshire council hides the saltire from sight. What cowards the labour party is. Scared of our flag.
“Would you like a crisp? Oops, the polis have just walked in”… then offski as Ruthie looks around.
Diversion works a treat.
The winner for me, so far, “Col Davidson I presume?”.
I’d say, “Haw, Ruth! Put the glass down!”
Point to the door and say…See that guy over there?, he fancies you…
Then run like f**k.
I’d say haw big yin! How do a get the Scotland game oan the telly, instead of yon England game.
Firstly …sounds just like the usual Friday night in certain pubs within West Lothian.
Secondly …only 6 foot …he’s a teeny wee felly compared to my 6′ 4″. Plus, it seems he’s on the podgy side. I don’t seem as ‘Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson somehow.
Thirdly, if it’s anything like the beer in my local, I would tell him that ‘it’s nae surprise ye dropped yir pint there, mate. That yon Tennants in here is brutal. Leaves an awfy clerty taste in your mooth. Nae wonder ye didnae want tae touch another drop. I widnae touch another droap eether.’ …to which he would probably laugh and then buy me a pint instead for good cheer.
Robert Peffers says:
1 September, 2017 at 5:59 pm
@heedtracker says: 1 September, 2017 at 5:17 pm:
Its the playback though Rab!
If you’re into it, its worth checking out New Gorbals housing being built right now. It’s really stunning. And its highlighting just how god awful the massive chicken coop estates being thrown up by like of Barrat and Milne, are.
link to scottishconstructionnow.com
Even better views of New Gorbals.
link to elder-cannon.co.uk
Used get get Scotland games on the TV in the 90s
2017 and reduced to getting scores of of Revs twitter feed.
Can watch our ‘mighty colonial masters’ white knights on ITV but that would give me the dry boak, so NO Thanx !
Remember North Britland we’re so much Better Together !
No cultural cleansing whatsoever going on here, oh no.
Is this allowed?
link to cricfree.sc
Onnyhoo, to go back to the Rev’s original question…
This is not what I’d say but I couldn’t get this scenario out of my head.
Truthless (through beer goggles to big guy who appears skinny, due to beer goggles): “Fancy a dance?”
Big guy: “I’m a little stiff from bowling.”
Truthless: I don’t care where you’re from – let’s dance!”
link to goo.gl
(Thanks to Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In for that one.)
@BDTT –
Quality!
@BDTT –
Rock (13th May 2015 – “Moodievision: The Fall And Fall…”):
“Ruth Davidson is the most disgusting and nastiest politician in Scotland in my view.”
Some notice it with hindsight, the less gullible sense it from the beginning.
Well you wouldn’t offer a square go.
I have no interest at all in football but could someone explain to me why the English game tonight is on in Scotland and the Scottish game is not.
Ottomanboi says:
1 September, 2017 at 12:15 pm
yoor mam !
Then run or greet !
Is WOS under some sort of attack again?
From 8.48 to 10.12, only 4 comments published?
On a Saturday night?
It’s Friday, Ian…
the fitba’ wis oan ian
Ian B
Yes. And sleeping gas robbed us all of Friday night
A wee tester, to see if comments are appearing in a timely fashion! (posting at 22.36)
HI Ian,
There’s a delay of around 5 minutes in posts actually appearing in situ – at the moment.
Oh aye, appeared instantly…
@BDTT Aye, ‘Friday’. That’s what ah meant…
Mibbes jist wan ay thae quiet nights, eh?
@All Of Ye’s –
Why should I be discriminated against just because I don’t know what fucking day it is!?
Confronted with a large man with a broken glass in his hand … simple … adopt the “blithering idiot gambit”!
Well, in a Guardian opinion piece they suggest that’s Ruth’s boss’s approach to being confronted by a big problem!
” Mrs May appears to be deploying the “blithering idiot gambit” where a complete disconnect from reality makes the other party in the negotiations feel she has to be humoured. Oddly, it has not so far proved as effective. “
Perhaps not!
link to archive.is
@ winifred McCartney
could someone explain to me why the English game tonight is on in Scotland and the Scottish game is not.
“Deprive the people of their national consciousness”
@ Ian Brotherhood
Is there a large rectangular man in the pub you are in?
O/T since it’s quiet – a website with maps of the world e.g. expenditure on health:
link to mapsontheweb.zoom-maps.com
This has been one of the most enjoyable threads in ages – even the occasional football comments.
I think we will be all the better for the wee bit of R&R
@Conan the Librarian –
Ahm in ma hoose, but if ye give me fifteen minutes, ah’ll check the local and let ye know.
Winifred McCartney
I am also not a rabid football fan but I do enjoy watching Scotland playing in international competitions and it is outrageous when a terrestrial channel especially when its STV, broadcasts the England game but not the Scottish one. Can you imagine the outcry in England if positions were reversed. There is no country in the world that would tolerate this.
But it is becoming the rule rather than the exception, and I believe it is political. Anything that promotes any form of nationalism or pride in Scotland is deliberately
suppressed as with the national football team or indeed television such as Outlander.
There is no doubt in my mind that the state is behind this. Scotland is being deliberately cleansed of its culture and heritage and is being Anglofied by the back door with the disturbing acceptance of a considerable section of the Scottish population who don`t seem to care.
I despair.
Ach well Scotlands not on the tele live but I note STV has the highlights—–
AAGH Malta v England– gie us a break twice in 1 night
STV= joke
Maybe Ruth apologises to the big foreign guy with the glass for her elected representives being racist about him and his family?
And maybe offered him a tenner to tell him how he found out since the BBC has spent so many months hiding the ( at last count ) 18 elected racists appointed on her watch.
MY FAVOURITE MOMENT OF THIS WEEK
EU chief negotiator Barnier telling yer man Davis live on air that “Brexit means Brexit” and implying Davis was on something smokeable for thinking he could have cake and eat it
Ahh Bliss!
I thought there would be sonething along the lines of “You’ve no Sovereign Right to be that size, if the SNP hudny fannied aboot wi their Minimum Burly Dimensions Refererendum, we’d all be 7 foot tall according to the National Newspaper propaganda machine! I heard Willie Young spent millions on a failed project to increase the average size of Aberdonians and everybody knows there’s only two equal partners in this pub despite whit the barman says! Ya Bass!”
I’ll get ma coat…
@McDuff –
More power to ye.
Yesindyref2
Don’t be fooled.
The One show is discussing the bridge because Mrs Windsor is ‘opening’ it on monday.
Their next programme will miss the coverage as it will have happened by the time they are ‘on air’ on monday.
Hence they are trying to get the first bite of the cherry , as it were.
You wait, by Monday night there will be wall to wall coverage – albeit in very short videos.
Agree Ian.
I too was sickened by yet another Scotland Football Match not being on terrestrial TV.
EVERY England Game has been on Scottish Television as has English ladies football, English men and woman’s Cricket, English women’s Rigby, etc
Scottish Television, and BBC Scotland my Ar*e.
We are second class citizen’s in England North-North Colony
Also sickened by the EBC One Show.
They needed to send an English Reporter up to the new Bridge to explain to us how it was constructed, and then interview one of the construction workers who of course was English???
Like a bridge of English Media’s snotters, I will groan and frown.
“proposing the building of eight entire new towns in Scotland (the funding source and potential locations for this colossal undertaking were not specified)”
WTF? Fantasy Island or what? Bullshit. These people are a joke. Get rid of them. Vote them out. They’re a bunch of self-serving, dangerous and MSM friendly freaks.
A wee late night snifter: link to wp.me
I’d be asking does he buy his Jackets from silentnight.
Oh by the way…
link to youtube.com
@Meg merrilees
Indeed, the One Show isn’t exactly Scotland’s bestest friend.
I’ve always felt that music is on the side of Indy, and considering the effects and use of it over centuries or more, perhaps with good reason. It’s kind of revolutionary in a peaceful way, but a forceful way in countering indoctrination, as well as keeping aspects of culture and history alive that the establishment would like to bury. We should use it more.
For some reason or other this thread makes me think of this, as the Tory anthem:
link to youtube.com
Another ‘quote of the day’ – Ruth Davidson on mis-reporting Scotland Friday tea time was being asked about her plan to build 8 new towns, she said “we need to learn from the mistakes of the past and maybe build them smarter and prettier” Oh dear!
O/T some of the Ferry locals are calling our new bridge Kevin…..love it!
@msdidi
I like Kevin! He mostly supported Indy I think
Good grief. The BBC ticker has Malta 0-4 England, Germany something, and nothing about Lithuania and Scotland match.
Slarty Bartfasts.
@Liz g
Letter III in The National about that dire Constitution and the Sovereignty bit. I commented on it and then wondered if I was being too hard on it, remembered seeing vaguely (too busy at the time) something on the waving goodbye thread about it, and just found your very sensible comment. Thanks, that’s me happy now
@Liz g
Just been reading the rest of it, lot of doodoo on my plate at the time (seem to have cleared it up I’m gonna need more wet-wipes), your convo with Petra and Chick’s contribution, and yeah, bookmarked the website and will look back in a few weeks or so, meanwhile see if anyone responds to my comments on The National. That sovereignty garbage is anti-EU in its way, so I’m guessing it’s Leavers behind writing that. Which is fine, as some people are of course, but doesn’t represent all views.
Hard work shouldn’t be discouraged, as I have to tell myself, just seems that’s started out the wrong way to me. I too will keep an eye on it, see if it improves.
Comments regarding the EBC/STV and the “One Show”,
I take it the Empire licence tax is still being paid in the said households?
WHY??
Stop funding them.
Simples.
Couple fined after husband ran naked with scissors through hotel
Over stock photo of a loch.
There you go, The Guardian’s Scot section news for a week. Also, Kezia Dugdale is a lesbian.
Oh and beeb r4 gimps report the Queen is very sad, or maybe just sad about flooding in Texas.
Yeehaw.
A ‘Yes, for Scottish football on Scottish telly’ campaign would resound with a lot people who are not very interested or well-informed about currency, GERS and economic forecasts.
It really wasn’t much mentioned in the Indyref1 campaign but could be quite a powerful yes argument. Are there any other countries which show their neighbouring countries’ international matches but not their own?
A lot more should be made of this.
You would think the unionist sadists would want us patriotic Scots to watch Scotland playing football,domestic and international,
ah mean nearly 20 years of failure and a catastrophic drop in individual skill levels since our last World Cup 98,
used to love fitba (30 odd years season ticket holder and been to three World Cups)but the corruption,cheating,drug enhanced mega rich tax dodging players in world football,and the whole Scottish set up which has hardly produced a single player with a good first touch in 20 years,has made me despise the thing i used to love.
Repeat of football on Monday to come England game on again in Scotland and the Scottish game in Malta not on. Why is this allowed? The TV cameras were already in Malta for the English game. Scotland treated like dirt.
Yesindyref2 @ 4.52
I agree that it’s worth keeping an eye on.
Mainly because,I love the fact that the input is not coming from the top down or from so called “civic Scotland”.
One of my main concerns is that the input from Jock & Jeannie public when the time comes to frame our new constitution.
Will play out like the Smith Commission and only pretend to consult us.
Which really matters, because a “Scottish Establishment” will quickly appear to take over.
Resulting in a Constitution to suit them.
They, very people who for the most part (I’ll be kind)were not on board the Independence train!
But who will potentially pop up while we are are all still celebrating the Yes vote.
Organise themselves and assume the writing of it.
This is what I mean when I say “we have to avoid a mini me Westminster” which is what could happen if we don’t get to grips with how Holyrood is framed.
But we also have to avoid not producing “a dreamer’s” document either.
I do hope that this site develops, because IMHO we “the actual people” should aim to have an inspiring document that’s go to go,on day one.
Mibbi even one that we are Campaigning for!!!
heedtracker @ 7.11 am
The Braemar Highland Gathering is today with Queen in attendance.
First tranche of the 50,000 People are walking over the Queensferry Crossing today – sun is shining.
Which do you think will get the most coverage on the BBC Scotland? Decisions, decisions.
Legerwood
I’ve heard more about the QC bridge on the radio since yesterday than I’ve heard in the last three years purely so they can tell you that HM the Queen is opening the bridge on Monday.
In fact on GMS this a.m. the discussion ended with a BBC man pointing out some of the problems with the bridge then ‘jokingly’ saying words to the effect of, …of course I’m only on this programme to dampen the enthusiasm for the bridge …
to which the female host ‘jokingly’ replied, ..well of course why else would we have you on the programme…
Did you know that it won’t finally be open properly until next Thursday?
Whit’s a biddy tae dae until then? Feign shock and horror –
Me – switch off radio!
Here’ big yin, Yer Da sells Avon.
I’d say I don’t recommend using a beer glass thats six foot tall and five foot wide, I’m not surprised he broke it.
I thought “Right to Buy” ended in Scotland in July 2016?
link to gov.scot
‘Are you Eric Pickles?’
Reading this in 2021.
[A burly bloke, 6 feet tall and 5 feet wide, would likely only have one hand if width is taken as fingertip to fingertip]
In the world where Baroness Ruth, lives he’d have really short arms, and hands the size of Action Man.
What’s that guy going to do with a broken glass?
She’s always been a fool, and is deservedly mocked when proving so.
I’ll never forget the time she posted a tweet about her dug chasing a seagull into the Forth, so she had to rescue it…*cue dramatic music*
With a photo of her: smiling as usual when posing, in a wet, blue t-shirt and dark leggings.
In her back garden.
House in the background.
And a circular, wet mark on the concrete where a pail had obviously been.
Did she fuck rescue her dug from ‘the sea’.
‘Someone’ threw water over her and the dug for the camera.
The dug would have shaken most of the water off long before they reached home – it was wringing!?? lol.
She thought it’d be a jolly wheeze, to boost her pregnant image and show how caring and wondeful she was.
She’s a political fraud who decides nothing based on pragmatism & research, and everything on image, emotion, dogma.
The worst kind of politician.
The Lords Spiritual should invite her into their poker school, if they have one.