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Standing on one leg 8

Posted on December 13, 2012 by

The office is the coldest room in my house. Facing north it doesn't get a lot of sunlight, and the radiator is directly underneath the window, so much of what heat it generates disappears outside immediately. So I have a little halogen heater to keep the place cosy in winter, which also gives off a bright and pleasant firesidey glow and saves you having to turn the light on then wait 45 minutes for the useless "energy-saving" piece of shit to actually reach some sort of vaguely worthwhile level of illumination.

(Never mind about the Iraq war – I'd put Tony fucking Blair in prison for the rest of his life just for robbing us of proper lightbulbs, the wanker.)

The heater has three replaceable halogen elements. This is the process for replacing one of them (click to see the whole thing):

I have two questions for the manufacturers.

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The Olympic enclosures 1

Posted on July 25, 2012 by

As the sun made its first appearance of the summer at the weekend, Wings over Sealand wasn’t slow off the mark. On the “B” of the “BANG!”, we leapt onto a train for a scenic two-hour journey to the seaside, specifically the lovely south-coast town of Weymouth. It’s a remarkable place, changing character every time you turn a corner.

The front is a traditional resort promenade, with beaches and ice-cream stands and arcades. Just behind it is a picturesque working harbour town, tatty fishing boats mingling with some extremely fancy millionaires’ yachts. (Don’t miss the tasty and gigantic battered faggots at Bennett’s On The Waterfront fish and chip shop, by the way, the closest thing you’ll find to haggis in an English chippy and heavenly with a splash of onion vinegar.) Adjacent to both is a scruffy but bustling town centre, almost entirely free of the empty shops littering every other urban conurbation in Britain.

And if you embark on about five minutes’ leisurely stroll from the western end of the prom or the busy, noisy harbour and marina, you’ll find the town’s only sizeable area of public green space, in the form of the beautiful and peaceful oasis that is The Nothe.

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Flame wars 7

Posted on May 20, 2012 by

As huge crowds of primitive villagers turn out to marvel at some fire this weekend, here's some old-fashioned journalism to ponder. Click the image to read the article.

Enjoy the torch (possibly the last spectacle invented by Adolf Hitler to still be regularly performed and celebrated), and the two weeks of the Games while they last. Try not to get sick, in either sense of the term. Try not to be alarmed if anyone sticks a missile battery on your roof (and slaps an eviction order on you for making a fuss about it or for just not being lucrative enough), or a sonic cannon, or by the bored police with machine guns hanging around your train station waiting to shoot anyone who tries to protest or take an unlicenced beverage or snack into one of the state-of-the-art stadia.

Enjoy all the top events (on telly, unless you're a corporate sponsor), and as Boris Johnson gallivants around turning them into a giant Tory showpiece, take a moment out to give thanks to Tony Blair and the rest of Labour for making it all possible (with our money, of course) for him. Who needs hospitals and schools anyway?

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    • Sven on A Stitch In Timing: “Young Lochinvar @ 21.48. “Hot Patootie – Bless My Soul”. And, surely many of us recall how being thawed out…Feb 8, 07:07
    • Cynicus on A Stitch In Timing: “Young Lochinvar says: 7 February, 2026 at 10:58 pm ‘Or.. To quote English Henry VII (Tudor) marrying off his daughter…Feb 8, 01:02
    • James on A Stitch In Timing: ““…have campaigned for Indy all my adult life.” LOLZ. That right, aye?Feb 8, 00:03
    • James on A Stitch In Timing: “Oh dear. Poor “fact checker”…he doesn’t even know that it’s rugby union at Murrayfield next week, not rugby league. What…Feb 8, 00:00
    • James on A Stitch In Timing: “You joined the other team.Feb 7, 23:55
    • David Holden on A Stitch In Timing: “Sorry Alf still not sure what your point is and if you are implying I am a non native and\or…Feb 7, 23:35
    • Young Lochinvar on A Stitch In Timing: “Or.. To quote English Henry VII (Tudor) marrying off his daughter to a reluctant King James IV of Scotland; “The…Feb 7, 22:58
    • sam on A Stitch In Timing: “https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/mono/10.4324/9780203788332/internal-colonialism-michael-hechter “…Hechter examines the unexpected persistence of ethnicity in the politics of industrial societies by focusing on the British Isles.…Feb 7, 22:10
    • Lorna Campbell on A Stitch In Timing: “James: the very fact that he was filmed lifting the sledgehammer and bringing it down on the back of the…Feb 7, 21:52
    • Young Lochinvar on A Stitch In Timing: “Woo hoo! Someone (Keir) has hit the defrost button and the Broontosaurus has been thawed out to save the (Labour)…Feb 7, 21:48
    • Hatey McHateface on A Stitch In Timing: “@James Cheyne Why don’t you re-post on some site read by our fighting friends in the east? I’m confident they…Feb 7, 21:38
    • Young Lochinvar on A Stitch In Timing: ““Fact”checker @ 7.43 Even for you it’s surprising you came out with this paper thin surrebutter! You’re the one (allegedly)…Feb 7, 21:22
    • Hatey McHateface on A Stitch In Timing: “Awww. I wanted an opportunity to enthuse about the health and fitness benefits of goose stepping. Stamina building too, and…Feb 7, 21:21
    • Hatey McHateface on A Stitch In Timing: “Language theory, and common sense, tells us that colonial and post colonial are different things. A science and engineering background…Feb 7, 21:03
    • DaveL on A Stitch In Timing: “Ask the Rev, his machine chose to protect you from having to answer to it.Feb 7, 20:56
    • Hatey McHateface on A Stitch In Timing: “What would a Yank like Hechter know of the Celtic Periphery? To many of the bulk of Scots residing in…Feb 7, 20:54
    • Hatey McHateface on A Stitch In Timing: “Were they about goose stepping by any chance? Relax. You’ve already covered that to the best of your ability.Feb 7, 20:42
    • Alf Baird on A Stitch In Timing: ““not sure what your point is” Postcolonial theory tells us that the more culturally assimilated native bourgeoisie, being “the most…Feb 7, 20:41
    • Hatey McHateface on A Stitch In Timing: “@Alf I never made the team either. You have my sympathy. Like you, I still remember how much it hurt.…Feb 7, 20:37
    • factchecker on A Stitch In Timing: “David, You are obviously not aware of the threat of cultural colonisation that we live under. Indeed, it may already…Feb 7, 20:00
    • Alf Baird on A Stitch In Timing: ““Of course it is only a half government” Its not even that. Whatever ‘it’ may be called, it is ‘managed’…Feb 7, 19:58
    • factchecker on A Stitch In Timing: “The ProfessorHechter is quoted as saying “Within the Celtic Periphery this also meant that the English held: ‘a disproportionate share…Feb 7, 19:43
    • David Holden on A Stitch In Timing: “@ Alf Baird 6.31 pm . I remember it well Alf also supporters of a certain football club that were…Feb 7, 19:21
    • Alf Baird on A Stitch In Timing: “Interesting, but lets not confuse colonialism with the class struggle. This from Professor Michael Hechter’s study of ‘The UK Internal…Feb 7, 18:41
    • Alf Baird on A Stitch In Timing: “You maybe don’t remember ‘Rugby Legends for No’, reflecting the more privileged culturally assimilated native groups greater propensity to oppose…Feb 7, 18:31
    • James on A Stitch In Timing: “See above, everyone. Another unionist Fanny.Feb 7, 17:59
    • DaveL on A Stitch In Timing: “Hey Rev, I’m wondering why two lengthy replies concerning fascism to Hatey’s post at 7.41pm on the 6th have been…Feb 7, 17:44
    • David Holden on A Stitch In Timing: “Not sure where your rant is coming from but it is so far off the mark I am beginning to…Feb 7, 17:38
    • Confused on A Stitch In Timing: “rugby is cringe. murrayfield, all those blazer cunts, all those private schoolboys banging heads, supported by new town stockbrokers giving…Feb 7, 16:51
    • Marie on A Stitch In Timing: “Well said. Agree with every word.Feb 7, 16:31
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