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Standing on one leg 8

Posted on December 13, 2012 by

The office is the coldest room in my house. Facing north it doesn't get a lot of sunlight, and the radiator is directly underneath the window, so much of what heat it generates disappears outside immediately. So I have a little halogen heater to keep the place cosy in winter, which also gives off a bright and pleasant firesidey glow and saves you having to turn the light on then wait 45 minutes for the useless "energy-saving" piece of shit to actually reach some sort of vaguely worthwhile level of illumination.

(Never mind about the Iraq war – I'd put Tony fucking Blair in prison for the rest of his life just for robbing us of proper lightbulbs, the wanker.)

The heater has three replaceable halogen elements. This is the process for replacing one of them (click to see the whole thing):

I have two questions for the manufacturers.

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The Olympic enclosures 1

Posted on July 25, 2012 by

As the sun made its first appearance of the summer at the weekend, Wings over Sealand wasn’t slow off the mark. On the “B” of the “BANG!”, we leapt onto a train for a scenic two-hour journey to the seaside, specifically the lovely south-coast town of Weymouth. It’s a remarkable place, changing character every time you turn a corner.

The front is a traditional resort promenade, with beaches and ice-cream stands and arcades. Just behind it is a picturesque working harbour town, tatty fishing boats mingling with some extremely fancy millionaires’ yachts. (Don’t miss the tasty and gigantic battered faggots at Bennett’s On The Waterfront fish and chip shop, by the way, the closest thing you’ll find to haggis in an English chippy and heavenly with a splash of onion vinegar.) Adjacent to both is a scruffy but bustling town centre, almost entirely free of the empty shops littering every other urban conurbation in Britain.

And if you embark on about five minutes’ leisurely stroll from the western end of the prom or the busy, noisy harbour and marina, you’ll find the town’s only sizeable area of public green space, in the form of the beautiful and peaceful oasis that is The Nothe.

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Flame wars 7

Posted on May 20, 2012 by

As huge crowds of primitive villagers turn out to marvel at some fire this weekend, here's some old-fashioned journalism to ponder. Click the image to read the article.

Enjoy the torch (possibly the last spectacle invented by Adolf Hitler to still be regularly performed and celebrated), and the two weeks of the Games while they last. Try not to get sick, in either sense of the term. Try not to be alarmed if anyone sticks a missile battery on your roof (and slaps an eviction order on you for making a fuss about it or for just not being lucrative enough), or a sonic cannon, or by the bored police with machine guns hanging around your train station waiting to shoot anyone who tries to protest or take an unlicenced beverage or snack into one of the state-of-the-art stadia.

Enjoy all the top events (on telly, unless you're a corporate sponsor), and as Boris Johnson gallivants around turning them into a giant Tory showpiece, take a moment out to give thanks to Tony Blair and the rest of Labour for making it all possible (with our money, of course) for him. Who needs hospitals and schools anyway?

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    • Karen on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Also, what is he wearing? A pinstripe shiruit?Apr 10, 17:45
    • Karen on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Well done again Stu! They force all the women out so the nonces (and their handmaidens) are all that’s left.…Apr 10, 17:28
    • Cynicus on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““Do You Believe In ThelRev Stuart Campbell?” ====+ ChatGPT is having an AI hallucination -or HAD one. It identified our…Apr 10, 16:28
    • Carol Sadler on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Hmmmm.Rminds me of that AI Jessica Foster influencer thingy.It’s got/had nearly 2 million followers who thought it was real.Apr 10, 15:47
    • dawninnl on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Hi Rev, a gremlin has written Charles Rennie in the text, while the 2 quoted records say James Rennie. Please…Apr 10, 15:47
    • James on Not So Octopus: “Jesus wept. Humpty & Dumpty out again. Distract, divert, derail. Rinse and repeat.Apr 10, 15:39
    • Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Scotland get off your high horse and smell the coffee.Apr 10, 15:30
    • peter on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I wondered if the original report of the appointment was dated 1st April. But no it was dated 20th March.Apr 10, 15:23
    • Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The situation in Scotland now is like a rotting tooth. All you need to do is go to the dentist…Apr 10, 15:16
    • Confused on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “It comes full circle – the nonces were using AI to create AI slop kiddie porn – now the nonces…Apr 10, 14:45
    • Lorncal on Not So Octopus: “Geri: no, I didn’t say that. I said that we have to clear out all the DEI, HR, charity sectors…Apr 10, 14:33
    • Heaver on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Pretty sure you’ve only scratched the surface here Stu. Some day a Mikael Blomkvist is going to lay bare the…Apr 10, 14:25
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “A stomach-churning glimpse into the hideous human cess-pit over which Redactor-in-Chief Swinney now presides post amnesiac Sturgeon’s tenure.Apr 10, 13:47
    • freshmint on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “His left ear appears to be lobed while his right ear isn’t. Can’t be too many people around with that…Apr 10, 13:47
    • Lorncal on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Looks like an AI-generated image of what a human male might look like if you’re trying to get a hang…Apr 10, 13:45
    • Jennifer Livingston on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I have never been exposed to a “were were” before. What do you know that I don’t? Is it something…Apr 10, 13:43
    • Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Ban the lot. Problem solved. Pull the cash and watch them dash for cover.Apr 10, 13:42
    • J Robertson on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “His bio ( such as it is ) bears the hallmark of carefully curated crapApr 10, 13:42
    • lothianlad on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “your last few articles highlight the levels of brit state interference in scottish politics. The SNP is utterly complicit!Apr 10, 13:40
    • lothianlad on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Well Done Stu!!! yet again, the scottish govenment SNP brit friendly weirdos are being exposed. Thanks to you!. their brit…Apr 10, 13:37
    • Rab Dickson on Not So Octopus: “I am almost sure that there would have been a few absolutely delightful people in the Nazi Party in 1930s.…Apr 10, 13:11
    • M.E. on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Nono you got it wrong. He’s clearly an android. He’s Tim *Westworld*.Apr 10, 13:07
    • Lewis Moonie on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “They must be fucking jokingApr 10, 13:01
    • Sven on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Great and illuminating article, however I’m still grappling with attempting to get my poor, bewildered head around the concept of…Apr 10, 12:56
    • Aidan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I think we can say with virtual certainty that this so-called Mr Westwood did not go straight out of the…Apr 10, 12:54
    • Nicky T Naquetti on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “As I was going down the stair I met a man who wasn’t thereApr 10, 12:54
    • desimond on Not So Octopus: “Not exactly sure whats to nitpick regards Cllr Williams statement as it seems to make perfect sense, and sum up…Apr 10, 12:52
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    • Geri on Not So Octopus: “Northcode The knives will no doubt be out for him cause the Union fears him. He “speaks for the millions.…Apr 10, 12:04
    • Captain Caveman on Not So Octopus: ““This country jails ppl” You’ll have to enlighten me where “this country” is for you, “Geri”, given that you don’t…Apr 10, 11:55
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