The world's most-read Scottish politics website

Wings Over Scotland


Standing on one leg

Posted on December 13, 2012 by

The office is the coldest room in my house. Facing north it doesn't get a lot of sunlight, and the radiator is directly underneath the window, so much of what heat it generates disappears outside immediately. So I have a little halogen heater to keep the place cosy in winter, which also gives off a bright and pleasant firesidey glow and saves you having to turn the light on then wait 45 minutes for the useless "energy-saving" piece of shit to actually reach some sort of vaguely worthwhile level of illumination.

(Never mind about the Iraq war – I'd put Tony fucking Blair in prison for the rest of his life just for robbing us of proper lightbulbs, the wanker.)

The heater has three replaceable halogen elements. This is the process for replacing one of them (click to see the whole thing):

I have two questions for the manufacturers.

1. Are you SURE there isn't some further level of disassembly I could have to go to in order to put a new bulb in? Perhaps I could have to melt the plastic down to a liquid and then re-form it around some sort of mould made out of the polystyrene packaging, or take the whole fucking thing down to the Large Hadron Collider and have them bombard it with electrons at close to the speed of light until there was a decent-sized hole in the front panel that one could insert the replacement bulb into.

2. What are you, fucking STUPID OR SOMETHING, OR WHAT?

2(a). Or just CUNTS?

0 to “Standing on one leg”

  1. Ian says:

    Just a wee FYI if you're having trouble, buy a new energy saving bulb. The old ones were pretty bad while new ones are up to full brightness in a few seconds. I have new ones all over my house apart from one or two "legacy" ones and the difference is marked.

    Reply
  2. Andrew says:

    What brand are you using Ian? 

    Reply
  3. Captain Stylish says:

    Consider upgrading to LED bulbs. Although pricey they last forever and come on instantly and have far better light quality than energy savers. I have a couple of these and they are bloody marvellous. NB: Go for warm white unless you are a sadist who likes the colour of hospital waiting rooms.. 
    link to simplyled.co.uk

    Reply
    • Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

      I like LED light, but 60w-equivalents can fuck off. 100w or bust.

      Reply
  4. Ian says:

    Andrew:
    Our Phillips ones are the best, I can provide a negative recommendation in that it is our Ikea ones take ages to get to full brightness 🙂 
    LED lights are really neat, but I'm waiting till the cost reduces a wee bit as I have 6 incandescents in my kitchen so replacing all of those would cost a fortune at the moment.

    Reply
    • Andrew says:

      The thing that gets me about these energy bulbs is that, if memory serves me correctly, they are meant to last 40 million hours, right? I'm lucky to get through 6 months on one of them. Which makes me reluctant to splash out on them. Bah. 

      Reply
  5. Ian Osborne says:

    Go for white-light energy saving bulbs. You can get bayonet-fitting versions from Homebase, but for our living room we needed small screw fittings, so ordered online from Germany. It's amazing what a difference white light makes. The whole room is more cheerful.

    Reply
  6. Archie says:

    Best part about energy saving bulbs? They release dangerous mercury fumes (etc.) if you crack them and also present a fire hazard thanks to the electronic gubbins in the base. I've heard of them blowing and burning. I know someone who has had it happen twice.
     
    Bet you love them even more now. 🙁
     
    I ended up swapping to halogen lights as the nearest equivalent. It is bright. Gives off a nice glow and isn't as cold or sharp as the LEDs. Bring back proper bulbs, I say.

    Reply


Comment - please read this page for comment rules. HTML tags like <i> and <b> are permitted. Use paragraph breaks in long comments. DO NOT SIGN YOUR COMMENTS, either with a name or a slogan. If your comment does not appear immediately, DO NOT REPOST IT. Ignore these rules and I WILL KILL YOU WITH HAMMERS.


  • About

    Wings Over Scotland is a thing that exists.

    Stats: 6,930 Posts, 1,244,533 Comments

  • Recent Posts

  • Archives

  • Categories

  • Tags

  • Recent Comments

    • Dan on The Ever-Changing Lie: “Hmm, more on planet Armageddon. https://robinmcalpine.org/five-years-ago-progress-on-climate-change-ground-to-a-halt-in-scotland/ So is the perceived lack of further progress on climate action actually because it…Jun 10, 20:36
    • robertkknight on The Ever-Changing Lie: “I agreed with you Willie right up until your united Ireland assumption. I see it this way… A unified Ireland…Jun 10, 19:27
    • Dan on The Ever-Changing Lie: “Aye, I’m minded to agree with that Northcode. It seems to me that there are too many supposedly pro-returning Scotland…Jun 10, 18:55
    • Jay on Wider Than A Mile: “….the financial impropiety is bad enough, but what about the attempt to put Alex Salmond in gaol?Jun 10, 18:25
    • Iain Ross on The Ever-Changing Lie: “Has anyone asked Swinney whether the missing £460,000 and £660,000 are mutually exclusive ? If they are then he needs…Jun 10, 18:23
    • Northcode on The Ever-Changing Lie: ““… get them to lick their own shit and enjoy it…” What a disgusting and childish metaphor… it fits you…Jun 10, 18:18
    • Douglas on Wider Than A Mile: “Swinney rivals Trump for BS but it will not stop the truth train that is coming down the line.Jun 10, 17:03
    • Sean Duffy on Wider Than A Mile: “Ah! But how can we be sure what the SNP spent the money on? Bearing in mind that Swinney was…Jun 10, 16:38
    • cirsium on The Ever-Changing Lie: “Brandeis was not talking about soap. “Brandeis made his famous statement that “sunlight is said to be the best of…Jun 10, 15:52
    • Young Lochinvar on Wider Than A Mile: “Heard on the radio Val McDermid (sounding like a wee boy) advertising her latest novel. What she failed to explain…Jun 10, 15:44
    • cirsium on The Ever-Changing Lie: ““Brandeis made his famous statement that “sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants” in a 1913 Harper’s Weekly…Jun 10, 15:34
    • Hatey McHateface on Wider Than A Mile: “I’m with J B Drummond. Until Grenfell is sorted, Indy can wait. Not forgetting the boy who got killed by…Jun 10, 15:29
    • Maxxmacc on Wider Than A Mile: “A story: “Can you take this file over to B Wing immediately”, barked the officer. B Wing, he thought, that’s…Jun 10, 15:21
    • Hatey McHateface on The Ever-Changing Lie: “Great comment, Jay. Have you read the article at the top of the page? Would you agree that has 77th…Jun 10, 15:19
    • Hatey McHateface on The Ever-Changing Lie: ““oaths bind only when the authority remains worthy of obedience” Looks like Northy has worked out for himself the self-justification…Jun 10, 15:15
    • Hatey McHateface on The Ever-Changing Lie: “Wally Walrus wakes! Actually, it’s another 5-letter word that preserves the alliteration. You keep your flapping flippers above the table,…Jun 10, 15:06
    • Casper on In pursuit of clarity: “The nightmares you must cause….?Jun 10, 15:05
    • cirsium on The Ever-Changing Lie: “Well said Willie. For an example of the “resource raiders” in action, watch the documentary embedded in Grousebeater’s site https://grousebeater.wordpress.com/2026/05/17/the-fall-of-the-clyde/Jun 10, 15:01
    • Northcode on The Ever-Changing Lie: “Discovering that the English crown’s claim to be the lawful ruler of Scotland is a lie immediately invalidates any oath…Jun 10, 14:45
    • BH on Wider Than A Mile: “It’s a shut and shut case.Jun 10, 14:25
    • sam on The Ever-Changing Lie: “The net national debt of Ireland at the end of 2025 was 22% of GDP and expected to rise to…Jun 10, 14:21
    • Lothianlad on Wider Than A Mile: “Yep, i know plenty if SNP diehards who wouod go to war fir the SNP against indeoendence! Though in truth…Jun 10, 14:21
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Wider Than A Mile: “I don’t think the SNP is the top layer of the onion.Jun 10, 14:12
    • Jay on The Ever-Changing Lie: “Several dumping comments on Wings fit exactly in the framework which you mention, Fearghas. Useful to have the advertisement as…Jun 10, 13:48
    • Confused on Wider Than A Mile: “Do you have any information or a view on the possible/likelihood of : Murrell fiddling the leadership election for Humza…Jun 10, 13:47
    • Alf Baird on The Ever-Changing Lie: ““the “coloniser’s values”” ‘Values’ are essentially what is deemed to be significant to a culture/people. The coloniser’s values are therefore…Jun 10, 13:45
    • Jay on The Ever-Changing Lie: “Willie, thank you for your perspective and clear vision.Jun 10, 13:41
    • Ian on Wider Than A Mile: “Depending on your view, you would either laugh or cry at the thought of the 2015 – ? SNP being…Jun 10, 13:32
    • Mark Beggan on Wider Than A Mile: ““Who are we? We’re the SNP”!Jun 10, 13:30
    • Mark Beggan on The Ever-Changing Lie: “Look what I found! ‘The British Army recruits and Officer Cadets swear an oath of allegiance to the King, which…Jun 10, 12:55
  • A tall tale



↑ Top